Three More Can Keep A Secret
by New Yorktown
Summary: The Battle for Mewni is over as Star and Marco sit divided by dimensions. However, another batch of strange visitors from the dimension without magic soon meet the princess, and warn of a mysterious threat called Bill Cipher. Shadows are growing long on Mewni and secrets are emerging, could something worse than a dream demon be at work? Season 3 with Gravity Falls characters.
1. The Pines Come To Mewni

The three humans stood in surprised shock at the blond girl in front of them, arms spread wide and a rainbow that had somehow burst into flames arcing above her head. Dipper was the first to regain his senses, going over to help Grunkle Ford up from the bone crushing hug she'd given him at mention of their home dimension. His hands were squirming around underneath his coat, which Dipper recognized as the older scientist trying to remember where his concealed holster was.

"Easy there Great Uncle Ford, I don't think she's a threat. Here, let me help you up..." he said, while offering his hands to his mentor and getting Ford's six fingered ones in turn. "Easy does it." he said softly, while gingerly assisting his old relative back to his feet.

The inhabitant of this world seemed enraptured by the sight of Dipper carefully and gently helping Ford to his feet, so Pacifica was left the only one watching her, which she did with something of a scowl. "Hey, rainbow girl." she asked, not quite hostile in town but certainly guarded and not exactly friendly. "Is 'A Magical Princess From Another Dimension' what passes for a name around here or do you have something less stupid we could call you?"

"Oh, right, I'm sorry." The native responded, turning her attention back to Pacifica, seemingly embarrassed that she'd been watching the other two. "My name is Star Butterfly!"

It was obvious she expected them to have heard of her, which only made Pacifica crack her eyebrow even higher. Fortunately, Dipper stepped up to the plate to initiate diplomacy.

"Right, thank you for introducing yourself." He stated. "My name is Dipper Pines, this is Stanford Pines, and she's Pacifica Northwest. Could you, uh tell us a little more about where we are?"

Suddenly, Star Butterfly narrowed her eyes at the human boy a little, getting a look of mild suspicion on her face as her lower lip seemed to swallow her upper one in contemplation. "Maybe I could, but I want you to answer a question for me first!" Before anyone from the group could respond, she continued on. "You say you're from Earth, but what if you're not from the Earth I'm thinking of? Tell me what a nacho, a california, and a toilet are, and then maybe we'll be a little more clear."

"Well, nachos are triangle food, dipped in cheese usually, I'm not a fan of them but I could identify one if you put it in front of me..." Dipper responded, getting into the flow of conversation despite the looks of disbelief Pacifica and Ford were giving him and Star. "California is a political region within the Earth dimension, I actually grew up in California believe it or not, funny coincidence, and a toilet, well, that's, uh..."

Just as well that the awkward conversation about waste reciprocals went no further, because Star lepta forward and gave Dipper a crushing hug as soon as he'd explained his place of birth, causing the other two humans to look even more surprised. "This is AMAZING! You guys are really from exactly where I hoped you were! Oh my goodness you have to tell me what's going on back on Earth, is everything..."

"Oh boy, we've got a clingy one on our hands..." Pacifica remarked under her breath.

"Lady, I need you to get off of me okay!" Dipper stated brusquely, words mumbled by a lack of oxygen, which caused Star to abruptly draw back with a sheepish look on her face. Taking in deep breaths, he remarked "I'm sorry, but I'm carrying some fairly delicate scientific equipment on my person right now as well as a few weapons, and it's not really safe for you to keep hugging me."

All three of the humans from Earth were dressed for adventure, Star abruptly noticed. The old man had a long, tough looking coat that she could tell was bulging with full interior pockets and heavy boots over his feet, the younger boy had a full torso tan cargo vest and matching pants, whose pockets were also filled to brim and was topped with a blue cap, while the blond girl was dressed a little nicer, having a durable but smooth pair of black pants matched with a purple zip up jacket, material slick rather than fuzzy. Each of them either had a backpack or a courier bag slung over their shoulders as well.

The travelers from Earth in turn were all collectively thinking that this person looked nothing like a princess, wearing a flimsy looking, dirty and frequently stitched on dress, spiky purple boots and a devil headband. The princess line was even less convincing when she pulled out what seemed to be a child's toy and began mindlessly nibbling on it while looking at Dipper.

"You sound like someone who takes safety pretty seriously, huh? That's so nice of you." She mumbled through her chewing action, not really directing the question at anyone in particular, even though it was loud enough for all of them to hear.

"Uh... thank you?" Dipper responded, wanting to feel like he was insulted, but something about the mannerisms of this Star Butterfly made it hard to think she was intentionally putting him down. "That's just part of being a scientist. We buy our right to experiment with responsibility and rigorous safety protocols."

"You're welcome!" Star said back with smile, before looking at the three a little more seriously. "So, travelers from Earth, what brings you all to Mewni?" she asked, more inquisitive and even a little coy.

From the back of the group, Grunkle Ford seemed to startle slightly at the name of the dimension, but Dipper was quick to speak in response, keeping Star's attention on him, and as a result she didn't notice. "We're on the trail of, well, a mind demon alien abomination that calls himself Bill Cipher. He's not native to our dimension, but he attacked it, well, recently, and as some of the only people on Earth able to chase after him, we've taken up the responsibility of hunting Bill down and destroying him, before he can hurt anyone else."

Star seemed enraptured by this explanation, while Pacifica shot Dipper a look of surprise, though she kept it hidden well enough. Outside of his family and close friends, like her and Soos, Dipper was always a fairly secretive, cards close to the chest kind of guy. _"He sure is opening up to this weird, so called princess really quickly." _she wondered to herself.

Ford seemed similarly concerned about Dipper's openness, but before he could interject Star spoke up again, a notably troubled look getting on her usually cheerful face, which the boy from Earth seemed to mirror unconsciously. "This Bill Cipher sounds like a pretty bad guy." She said with dawning trepidation.

"More than you could ever imagine." Dipper responded, voice instantly cracking from the strain of memory, and audible pain leaking from every word.

Star seemed even more concerned after this response, and her big blue eyes shimmered with a sudden burst of pity and understanding for the boy. "Well, he certainly sounds like a threat, and the Kingdom of Mewni can ill afford more threats in this troubled time!" she responded, puffing herself up with a little pseudo-heroic sounding grandiose vocabulary. "As the Princess of Mewni, it is my duty to respond to such a threat, and since you three seem to be the experts, I formally invite you to the Royal Castle to further discuss this threat with her majesty the queen!" By now, the spiel had gotten over the top and a little mocking, as Star assumed an overly stiff heroic posture, complete with finger pointed to the sky.

Then, just as easily as she'd gotten serious, the princess of Mewni relaxed her body, slinking down and grabbing one of Dipper's arms with a wide smile. "C'mon, I'll show you all the way to the castle, but really, you can't miss it! It's just over this hill!" she announced, taking off at full speed and dragging Dipper behind her before he could even argue.

This of course, resulted in the other two humans taking off after them. "Hey, both of you get back here now! Dipper!" Pacifica yelled out, clearly flustered and running after them right away.

"Children, wait, don't run!" Grunkle Ford also yelled ahead, trying to keep up with the group.

* * *

Eventually, Star had come to a stop outside of a large city built around a towering castle, which caused all three humans to crane their necks to see the top of the skyline. After Pacifica and Ford caught up to the other two, along with a quick apology from Star and reassurances that he's fine from Dipper, the princess was leading the trio from Earth through the settlement at a much slower pace, giving them ample opportunity to take in how badly damaged it all was.

Blast craters seemed to dot the ground, and some of the buildings looked like they'd been partially devoured. Everyone they passed was some combination of dirty, nursing some kind of injury, or had a far away look in their eyes. Dipper and Pacifica looked at the town with a sort of hardened sympathy, not being shocked by the damage or the wounds due to their experiences rebuilding their own town in the aftermath of a supernatural attack, but could clearly relate to everyone they passed.

Ford, on the other hand, wore a curious expression. His face was blank, well developed jaw muscles locking squarely into place. From a distance or at casual glance, it could be seen as reacting to the destruction they walked through with a stiff, determined upper lip, or even a mild scowl to disapprove of such senseless destruction. Closer inspection, however, would reveal the expression was too neutral, devoid of any transmissible feelings or ideas, a deliberate mask. Over what, Ford wasn't saying for the moment.

If this unsettling display of emotional control bothered Star or was even noticed by her, she didn't let it show. Instead, she took them through the destroyed streets, explaining recent history. "We were attacked, an invasion masterminded by a regenerating monster named Toffee." she explained, giving the bare, relevant basics. Even for someone as outgoing as Star, she didn't want to go straight into her time in the Realm of Magic or her mother's painful past with these people she'd just met. "Using stolen magic and an army or rats, he broke through our walls and briefly enslaved the citizens of Mewni, but we managed to take him out in the end." Then, she stopped in her tracks and turned back towards the three humans. "Do you think your Bill Cipher had anything to do with this?" she asked, concern in her voice.

Ford came to a stop, and seemed to genuinely ponder the question for a moment before speaking carefully. "I wouldn't rule it out as impossible, but I don't think so." He concluded. "He is skilled at controlling events from the shadows, but with as far as this invasion seems to have gotten, he wouldn't have been able to resist pulling back the curtain and basking in his triumph. He's an incurable egotist with an overwhelming need to experience his victories in the flesh and furthermore traditional military invasion isn't really his style."

The Princess of Mewni seemed reassured by this explanation, but kept something of a troubled look on her face as she lead her guests into the castle proper. As the group of four moved through the ornate halls, Pacifica made an effort to get to the ahead of the group, next to Star. "So, Princess Butterfly..." she asked in a hushed tone of voice.

"Oh, you can call me Star." The second blond responded with a chirpy tone, at normal volume.

"...Uh, right, thank you." Pacifica replied, resigning herself to a normal voiced conversation instead of a discreet inquiry. "Is your mother, Queen Butterfly...? Is she, uh, like you, I mean? All easygoing and stuff?"

The question took a moment to dawn on Star, and when it did, she quickly shook her head back and forth. "Ohhhhh... Oh, no. No no no no no noooooo..." Was her response. With a bit of a complex grimace, Star elaborated back that "Look, don't take this wrong, mom isn't bad or anything, but she's very... uptight. It's always rules and traditions and proper behavior with her." Then, with a mischievous look on her face, Star looked back at the other two humans then winked at Pacifica. "Don't worry though, I'll cover for you guys if you offend her delicate sensibilities." she added, like she was daring them to need her assistance.

"Right then, much appreciated prin... Star." Pacifica thanked their guide before falling back towards Dipper and Ford, whispering "Okay boys, let me do the talking when we meet this Queen, okay?" at them both, resulting in the two nodding affirmative.

"You're all very lucky actually, I should be able to get you a meeting in her private office instead of having to stand around in open court and talk to her while she's on her throne." Star elaborated from the head of the group. "And look, here it is!" she made a wide, sweeping gesture against a high quality but plainly furnished wooden door, sitting unassuming against another stretch of castle wall. Without hesitating, Star hammered the door with a strong, sustained and mildly tuneful knock. As soon as she stopped rapping her fist against the wooden surface, a voice emerged from the room, a faint glaze of frost against the tones of an older woman, mildly weary.

"Come in Star."

Looking back at her new friends with a narrow eyed expression, one hand pointing a thumb at the door and the other held up to the side of her mouth, to shield the words from traveling into the office, Star mentioned "She can somehow always tell when it's me." in a mystified tone. Then, the princess opened the door and let the three humans in, ushering them before the Queen.

Queen Moon the Undaunted sat at her ornate but practical wooden desk, numerous small piles of paperwork scattered about and an ink dripping pen in hand. She had her hair done up in its usual large formation and was dressed in her typical soft blue dress, complete with long gloves and makeup. She smiled softly as Star stepped in the room, but that turned to a tight frown as she lead three others in. "Ah, Star. I see you've brought friends." she said a with a small note of annoyance.

"Okay, mom, you're not gonna believe this!" Star said energetically, leveling both hands flat at her mother, palms facing each other as if she was about to lay out the secrets of the universe in the format of freestyle beat-boxing. "These three..." she continued, while gesturing to the group: Pacifica looked embarrassed to be in front of royalty like this, Stanford was hastily scanning his own memories, blind to the scowling he was unconsciously doing, while Dipper was rooted in place, nervously waving to the older woman. "...ARE FROM EARTH!" Star finished with a flurry of expression, waving her arms over her head while she leaned over the desk. "ISN'T THAT GREAT!?"

Queen Moon, annoyed expression gone, looking mostly sardonic but a little sympathetic to her daughter, slowly removed her reading glasses with a deliberate gesture while looking at the princess with skeptical eyes. "Star..." The mother said softly but firmly. This was the most energetic she'd seen her daughter since that other boy from Earth had left in the aftermath of the great battle. Casting her eyes over Dipper, Moon noted that despite being much more pale than her daughter's guide, he had the same nervous but observant posture as him. In the back of her mind, Moon was really hoping Star hadn't kidnapped these people.

"But, wait, wait wait wait wait there's more!" Star continued, waving her hands in front of her in a gesture asking for more time. Then, she jumped in front of the line of three humans, striking an action pose and doing the sword hand dance she'd picked up on Earth for emphasis. "They're here on a secret mission, tracking down an inter-dimensional criminal who attacked their world, and now wanders free across Mewni!" Then, Star straightened up, looked at her mother with a more serious expression, and finished by asking "So... can we have them stay here at the castle? I figured it'd be pretty bad for Mewni if some crazy villain is running around with everything else going on, so them catching him can only be good for Mewni, right?"

The Queen was quiet for almost a minute, taking everything in, while Dipper and Ford looked steadily more nervous, Pacifica kept a steady expression, and Star bounced in place on her heels. The situation had turned out more complex than Moon had assumed when her daughter had led three strangely dressed weirdos into her private office, and now she needed to make a legitimate decision. Could these three be trusted?

"Well Star, I'm glad you've brought this matter to my attention, but now I'd like to hear from your new friends." She finally spoke up in a measured tone, before turning her attention to the humans and nodding at them. "So, you three, please, explain this in your own words. You may speak freely."

Right on cue, Pacifica took a step forward and gave the Queen a small curtsy, nothing too elaborate, but enough to get across the idea the gesture was an act of respect, even if the exacts of it didn't cross the cultural barrier. "Your majesty..." She began, with a steady, formal cadence to her voice. "...Thank you for indulging us with this audience. Princess Butterfly summarized our reasons for being here with excellence. I have little else to add besides a personal plea that you understand how dangerous our quarry is: His name is Bill Cipher, and I assure you, he is a grave threat to your world of Mewni and all others."

Moon found herself leaning back in her chair slightly. She was actually quite pleased by this young lady's obviously well practiced air of respectful delivery, though she didn't express this in any way, and for the first time noted the physical resemblance between this human and her own daughter. Idly scratching some notes on a blank piece of paper to her side (reading out _Consult MHC: Bill Cipher?_) Moon responded by saying "Well, if this... Bill Cipher is a grave a threat as you say, it would certainly be within the best interests of Mewni for him to be captured. That is, however, a sizable if." Suddenly, her gaze was more inquisitive, seeming to peer into the girl in front of her. "Will you do us the honor of properly introducing yourselves?" Star opened her mouth to explain who they were, but Moon held up a hand to quiet her. "I'd like to hear it in their own words, Star. Go ahead."

With a nod of her head, Pacifica began by gesturing sideways to Ford. "This is Doctor Stanford Pines, archmage of the planet earth." she explained, which generated a small look of flattered surprise from the older man, who had previously been peering right back into Moon's eyes, as if to discern their intent. The blond then pointed to the other boy in the room. "This is Dipper Pines, apprentice wizard and great nephew to Stanford, while my name is Pacifica Northwest, a fellow student of Doctor Pines' great magic."

The expression of the Queen of Mewni quickly but subtly slipped to skeptical. "I had been informed, by some very good sources I might add, that the Earth dimension does not possess any magic of its own."

"The magic of Earth is a recent, and highly localized, occurrence, but I assure you it is real." Pacifica replied without skipping a beat, feeling herself drawn into the familiar dance of combat by words. She was already calculating what possible responses the Queen might have for her reply, then working out what to say in response to them, letting the flow of the conversation stay in her favor by virtue of quick, effortless responses.

"I see." Moon said in a dismissive tone, though inside her head she was making an important mental note of another matter to discuss with the Magical High Commission during the meeting she now knew she'd be scheduling with them as soon as this group left her office. "Tell me, in a hypothetical scenario where I allowed you three free reign to pursue this, Bill Cipher, what precisely would you be... doing? You must understand, Mewni is fragile at the moment, and even though I have no doubt of your good intentions, recklessness could destabilize things as surely as malicious intent."

"Of course your highness, we understand your concerns perfectly. We have no desire to harm your kingdom in any way." Pacifica responded. "As for our methods, I'll allow Doctor Pines to explain that, seeing as he is the most learned among us."

There, a verbal blow thrown. Subtle and ambiguously worded, on purpose, enough to go over the heads of everyone else in the room, but Pacifica could see in Moon's eyes that she had understood. The girl from Earth had challenged her, stating that a representative of her group was the most intelligent person in the room, but if called upon this could claim she meant no offense, stating she meant that Ford is the most learned among the group from Earth, and of course, such a verbal offensive would make the Queen appear insecure and over-aggressive, pursuing offense where none was meant. This, however, would allow the implication to stand, giving Ford significant clout in the conversation, provided he didn't make a wild fool of himself next time he opened his mouth.

_"Whoever this girl is, she is well versed in the battle of words that calls itself courtly politics." _Moon thought to herself. _"Threats, bargains, battles for superiority and the ebb and tide of public opinion, all dressed in idle gossip and elaborate complements." _Not looking to fall into contemplation, Moon nodded to Ford. "Go ahead archmage, I would hear of your methods from the mouth of wisdom."

Ford, who along with Dipper and Star hadn't picked up on the subtle nuances of the conversation before them, cleared his throat before starting on an explanation. "Bill Cipher is dangerous primarily because he is an expert manipulator with long range psychic abilities. He looks for people who are desperate, lost, in need of some aid or those who are simply hungry for power, then contacts them through their dreams to offer them what they want, and if I may be blunt, the destroyed city just outside these walls is a perfect environment for him to thrive in."

After that, the scientist reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object, a circle of bone hanging from a string with spider webs interlocking all over the space inside the circle, and on the bottom was a string of beads hanging long off the object, that ended in a small kitchen sponge. "This is a dream interceptor of my own design, and I have many more. With your permission, I would place these at strategic points along the city. They're been specially inscribed to capture Bill Cipher's psychic waves..." he explained, pointing to a series of symbols carved into the outer loop of the ring, which form the legendary Cipher Ring of symbols when the circle closes. "And when the morning condensation is squeezed out of the sponge on the bottom after a night hanging out, I can analyze the liquid to see if Bill Cipher is communicating with anyone in the city."

"Might I take that from you?" Queen Moon asked abruptly, which seemed to startle Ford out of his lecture. "I would like to have it examined by my magic experts, in the name of...smoother cooperation between our two peoples." The scientist from Earth blinked a few times, but then wordlessly handed over the object, knowing he had more. "Thank you." Moon responded curtly while putting it in a desk drawer.

"Honestly, I'd advise you to keep it. Hang it over your head while you sleep to shield yourself from Bill's influence." Ford cautioned. Then, after a moment of trying to place himself again, continued his explanation. "Besides those, I also have other magical means of honing in on Bill's presence, as well as examining people that he may be... communicating with, for tell tale signs, once we've narrowed the list of suspects down. It would also be a great help if you could alert us to any strange happenings in your kingdom."

Queen Moon crumpled her eyebrows in contemplation. Even through her gloves and scarred hands, she could feel a spell lattice working around the object she'd taken from the man. Further analysis would be needed to determine the object's true abilities, but it was genuinely magical, meaning that whoever these people are, they're a cut above common con artists. _"Which risk to take Moon, the risk of this Bill Cipher being a genuine threat, or the risk that these three are not what they seem?" _She contemplated, turning an eye to her daughter.

_"She seems to trust them... Not that that exactly means a great deal..." _She thought, but quickly chastised herself. _"Now Moon, you promised you'd try to be more understanding of Star. Perhaps this would make a good chance for her to gain some leadership experience... At the very least, it might take her mind off that Earth boy..."_

"Very well." Moon pronounced, betraying none of her eternal conflict to the group in front of her. "As Queen of Mewni, I hereby grant you, Stanford Pines, Dipper Pines, and Pacifica Northwest of Earth, permission to move about the public areas of the Mewman Royal Castle and Mewni in general, to the ends of protecting Mewni from the menace known as Bill Cipher. For the duration of this criminal pursuit, you will report directly to Princess Star and conform to any instructions she gives you. Are we clear?"

All three humans nodded in affirmation, and watched as Queen Moon moved to face her daughter, looking Star in the eyes with a serious, but encouraging look. "That means, Princess Star, that these three humans are your responsibility while they are on Mewni." She explained. "Keep me up to date, and I will in turn send any relevant information I receive regarding this matter to you." Then, she cracked an eyebrow at Star and added "Are we clear?" with a hint of dry sarcasm to her voice.

"Oh absolutely mom! Thank you sooooo much, I promise I won't let you down!" Star replied jubilantly, having slowly gotten on edge as the conversation had gone on, worried her new friends were going to be ejected. In a rush, she got behind all three of the humans and began pushing them towards the door, surprising the whole group. "Come on, I'll show you guys where you'll be staying, you'll get the..."

"I will provide a specific set of quarters for our guests, Star." Queen Moon spoke up assertively. "Have them wait outside for a moment while I summon a butler to lead the way. We still have a few more things to discuss."

* * *

Not long after, a sizable group of footsteps approached the door to a dark room. Muffled conversation was on the other side, and after a moment the wooden door to the new room was kicked open. "And here we are! Casa de Mewni!" Star explained, leading them inside the somewhat barren chamber. "Thank you Jeevann, you can go now!" she dismissed with a polite smile, and the butler who had lead them all here politely bowed then skittered off. After waiting a few seconds for him to get far enough away, Star let out a loud, annoyed groan and collapsed to the floor. "Ugh, sorry about having to chat your ears off with boring castle trivia back there, I'm sure if I'd said anything interesting Jeevann's has instructions to take it right back to mom!"

The humans were already able to take Star's antics in stride, simply spreading out to observe their new base of operations: It appeared to be a disused barracks for soldiers, being large enough for several simple military cots, but extremely barren in furnishing, dusty, and the sole window was small and barred over, making the room dim to see in.

"Well, it's not the Chillton Presidential Suite, but I suppose I've stayed in worse." Pacifica remarked sarcastically, until she tried to blow away a dust bunny underneath one of the cots, only to reveal it was actually a colony of spiders living around a rat skeleton. "Never mind, I take it back. This is probably the worst place I've ever stayed."

"Oh, I dunno about that Pacifica." Dipper teased back in a good natured tone. "I mean you've stayed in the Mystery Shack, haven't you?"

"Fair point."

"Ugh, I can't believe mom would try and load you guys off on such an out of the way dump like this!" Star groaned while climbing off the floor, but then, she got a clever look on her face. "Luckily, being friends with the princess comes with some benefits." In a flash, she was holding her wand over her head. "MYSTIC ROOM GLITTER BOMB TRANSFORM!"

The whole space was abruptly consumed by a bright pink light, blinding everyone present. The glow receded quickly however, leaving behind a completely transformed living space. Unfortunately, the three humans it was meant for were a little slow to notice the transformation.

"AH GOD, FLASHBANG!" Dipper screamed from his position curled up on the floor. Ford had found his attention jumping straight to Star's wand as soon as it came out, and as a result his eyes had shrunk to pinpricks due to taking the full blast and was currently completely witless. Pacifica, meanwhile, had been standing right where a luxurious four post bed had come into existence, and found herself struggling against a clutter of sheets and blankets. "HELP! I FUSED WITH THE BED LIKE THAT HAMSTER WE TELEPORTED ONE TIME!" she screamed, but after a moment simply worked herself out of the ball of blankets and realized she was completely normal "Oh."

Star, on the other hand, was looking around the room with breathless excitement and massive, sparkling eyes while the three humans regained their senses. She got up, running around and touching the luxurious decorations that covered the room to feel if they were real and make sure they weren't going to catch fire as soon as they were touched. "YES! I AVOIDED THE SUCK THIS TIME!"

That non-sequitur managed to catch the attention of everyone in the room, but before they could respond to it with several questions, the radical transformation their space had undergone finally set in with them. Besides a general massive increase in opulence and comfort, the military rows of cots had been replaced with three distinct bed spaces: The four poster Pacifica had found herself in was deep purple, and the fine wooden posts in question had a canopy stretching over them that also boasted a retractable curtain that could be drawn shut over the entire setup.

Dipper, having quickly rubbed the glitter out of his eyes thanks to prior experience, was extensively examining the third of the room that had formed around him. This section had a more normal but still extremely large and comfortable flat top bed with a sizable headboard backed up against a much wider stained glass window, through which you could look out and view the beautiful Mewman countryside for miles, while also providing much more light to the room. In addition, the room now boasted a pair of large, sturdy storage chests and a dresser positioned behind an extensive, well shaded privacy divider. Out of curiosity, Dipper flopped onto the bed, and ended up sinking several inches. "I've never been this comfortable before in my life." he said breathlessly.

Grunkle Ford, meanwhile, was standing under a unique construction of a bed: It was elevated on four legs, like a bunk bed, but instead of a lower bunk was a well furnished oak desk, with a comfortable velvet chair behind it, and a number of smaller tables, filling cabinets and chests surrounding it and the rest of the room. Looking up, Ford noticed a chain light-bulb was attached directly to the bottom of the bedframe. Upon pulling it, the whole work space became comfortably lit, despite the light having no power source.

Filling out the room was a grand table, covering the space where the distinctly themed spaces meet together. Besides being wide enough to sit at least six people for a common meal, it currently had an exhaustive and comprehensive map of the Mewman dimension rolled out over it, which glittered and shimmered as if it was updating in real life.

"So, what do you guys think?"

The humans all turned their heads to look at Star Butterfly, who was looking rather proud of herself for how tremendously successful her spell had been.

"It's much better than when we started, that is for sure." Pacifica was the first to respond, and was speaking with genuine sincerity. "Thank you, Star."

"Awwww, it's not problem Paz-Paz, what are friends for!?" Star responded, before stepping forward and giving the girl from Earth a hug, completely baffling Pacifica as she stuttered from raw surprise.

"Okay, first, don't call me that." The human girl laid down as she pulled away from the mewman princess. "Secondly, if you're going to hug me again, notify me in advance first and we'll see if I approve of it."

"Um, I do agree with Pacifica's first statement though, this is really nice. Thanks Star." Dipper added in, causing the princess to grin.

"You are both very welcome, my newfound subjects!" Star replied, but giggled a little to indicate she was just teasing them. Then, while still in a good mood and quite jubilant, she got a little more serious. "So, what's our plan of action? How do we begin the hunt for Bill Cipher?"

At this point, Ford left the window he'd been staring out of, watching the sunset, to enter the conversation. "Unfortunately, it will have to begin tomorrow morning. We have some equipment that needs unpacking and activating, at which point it will be dark and we'll be do for a rest." he explained, before adding on "If, her majesty finds that acceptable, of course." in a wary tone.

Star just giggled at his sudden formality though. "Hey, don't worry old-timer, you can just call me Star, just like I've told these two!" After that, she calmed down a little. "But no, that makes total sense. I can have dinner brought up to you guys if you want it, and then we can discuss our game plan tomorrow over breakfast in the royal dinning room!"

"That sounds ideal actually." Dipper replied, already elbow deep in his backpack and pulling out the components for a psychic feedback generator.

"Alright, everything's perfect then!" Star exclaimed, before standing in place for a moment, not sure where else to take the conversation. Feeling her time might be up, she added "Well, I guess that's goodnight then?"

"Seems like it." Pacifica responded, offering Star a friendly wave goodbye. "Sleep well Star."

Then, as soon as the mewman princess was out of the room, Grunkle Ford collapsed onto one of the chairs scattered around the room, head on his forehead in turbulent thought. "Great Uncle Ford, are you okay?" Dipper asked on reflex, though he didn't step forward, recognizing his mentor was experiencing more of a "need to brood" exhaustion rather than physical exhaustion derived from an injury.

"No Dipper, I'm fine, thank you." He replied, clearly troubled. After an exhale, he looked over at the two. "What kind of impression did you two get from Princess Butterfly?" he asked, in a tone that Dipper knew indicated more than idle curiosity.

"Well, uh... she seems nice." Dipper responded, rubbing his arm with some visible nervousness. "She got us inside the castle and a pretty nice base of operations, so I think she'll probably be an asset to the investigation?"

Ford gave Dipper a curt nod in response, then gestured to Pacifica. "She's a rebel princess. Seen it a dozen times, and was personally put through a lot to make sure I don't turn out that way." She summarized curtly. When it was clear the other two didn't quite get what she had meant, Pacifica elaborated. "Basically, she was born to a very high position of wealth and status, but on some level resents or dislikes like it. Too many rules, expectations are high, parents want them to make money instead of spending it on cars and fanart commissions. Still, Star is on better terms with her mom than most of the people I'd seen who fit this category, so either she's not as rebellious as she thinks she is or Queen Butterfly is more accepting of her rebellious daughter than most rich parents are."

Ford nodded curtly again, though this time he added "That was very insightful Pacifica, thank you." After a moment of longer thought that seemed to put some weight on his shoulders, the old scientist began speaking, in a grim tone this time. "Children, I am not saying we should reject the help the Mewmans offers us, it could be vital in our fight against Bill. Nor should we rebuke the friendship offered by Princess Star, she seems genuine enough. But, as long as we are here, we must tread carefully around these people."

Dipper was frowning with concern now, looking at his great uncle with a confused expression. "Great Uncle Ford, you sound like... well, you've been here before."

"That's because I have Dipper." He answered, a dark look settling into his eyes. "During my time lost to my original model portal, I... arrived, in this dimension, during a different battle against Bill, my original fight against him..." Ford explained, and settled in to tell his story...

_"Bill was seeking to acquire the means of personal dimensional travel, a strange power I don't totally understand that would allow him to slice holes between dimensions, through which the horrors of the Nightmare Plane could leak, and scuttle. To that end, he had challenged the High Wizard of Clam Castle within the Astral Sea to a game of skull dice and won the man's soul."_

A castle rose above an inferno filled battlefield, and on the outside walls a cheery looking humanoid with a scale covered body, small fins around his body and with bulging, lidless eyes walked vertically with a jaunt to his steps. The whole way up, the meat puppet sniffed the air like a dog looking for a well hidden piece of wet, delicious meat, and eventually, halfway between land and burning sky, they found it. A spell was cast that turned the wizard's body to a perfectly thin goo that slipped between the stone and reformed on the other side, deftly evading the invisible magic wards at their weakest point.

_"The master of portals, a mysterious figure know across the multiverse but rarely seen, had protected their castle well: Besides being inside an inhospitable wasteland, the castle was covered with every magical defense and ward possible and a few that were impossible, even by the rules of magic. In addition to all that, the dimension operated on an odd style of time acceleration, meaning that even those who escaped were often disorientated and lost in time. Bill had chosen his timing and his host well however, as the High Wizard's magic powers and Bill's own knowledge let them meticulously disassemble every trap and defense in the way, all without catching the master of the castle's attention."_

The possessed fish-man stood at the end of a long hallway, which was covered in broken runes, sparking clouds of disassembled magic, guardian monsters trapped in force cages or reduced to piles of ash, and dozens of purely mechanical traps carefully disassembled. Bill and his host were standing before a massive metal door, fiddling with the combination lock, an eager look splitting the wizard's face into an unnatural look of joy.

_"Of course, a visit to the Oracle of Pearls let me know about all this well in advance, so I waited until he'd disabled all the defenses, then got the drop on him. I had three flame resistance rings, a leaf-string bag of C4, boots of spider climb, a blessing to ward me against the time distortion of the dimension from a renegade Chrono Count who wore a carrot on his jacket, and most importantly, a very, very big gun."_

The wall at the end of the long hallway exploded, shockwave flattening Bill's host against the security door while a much younger Ford stepped through the gap literally guns blazing, holding a chainsaw grip automatic weapon with four rotating barrels and a hefty backpack that fed it ammo, fingers practically glued to the trigger to try and wash Bill down with a torrent of automatic fire, the bright trail of bullets tearing apart ornate castle decorations and unveiled mechanical traps like a swarm of omnivorous, invisible rats with a fast forward button pressed. Several small fires ignited as inert patches of magic were ignited by the ripping stream.

_"Of course, the ogre strength gauntlets it took to even lift the thing and the backpack of bottomless ammo that let it fire for longer than five seconds cost a fortune put together, but I had just cut ties with a mega seed smuggling operation and needed to get rid of the dirty money anyways."_

Bill's host had almost been cut to pieces by the time he managed to throw up a shield of crystal off which the hail of bullets deflected, prism beams of light erupting from the barricade every time a bullet snapped a fragment off, and the magical defense was shot hundreds of times as Ford held down the trigger, glaring and screaming the entire time. Eventually though, the scientist had to stop firing due to the ricochets getting dangerously close to him. With a scowl and a smoking set of barrels, he began stepping down the hall.

Bill and his body, despite being laid out against the security door with several large holes leaking green blood all over the fancy carpet and cold metal, was laughing his head off at the scene before him, as he quickly cast the liquid body spell again to slip through the holes Ford ended up shooting into the security doors with his magically boosted ammunition. On the other side, Bill found himself inside a medieval looking forge, and quickly dragged himself across the floor towards an unassuming pair scissors left to cool on a counter.

The battered security door could not resist Ford for long, and before it had even swung open all the way he was hosing down Bill's host with another barrage of fire. The barely alive puppet of a wizard had the heated scissors wrapped in one melting hand held close to the chest, and as a result Ford, who was attacking from behind, never even saw the scissors, even as a handful of the dozens of bullets that ripped the fish form apart penetrated through and impacted the slick metal of the dimensional travel device, resulting in it cracking, shattering and exploding.

Flying shrapnel fragments cut a dozen hungry dimensional rifts all over the room: Ford, at the edge of the forging chamber, was simply sucked into the furthest one, while Bill's host was ripped to pieces in a single, terrible moment by the conflicting pull of several portals upon him at the center of the explosion, completely destroying the host body, sending Bill back to the dimension of dreams nursing a newfound appreciation for absolute agony, and leaving quite a mess on the floor.

_"Though I ultimately defeated that body of his and prevented him from acquiring the dimension cutter magic, a mishap during the battle resulted in me being thrown through an entirely different section of the multiverse. This dimension, Mewni."_

The portal unceremoniously dropped Ford into wide, slow flowing river. It wasn't a particularly dangerous body of water, and the lost human could have easily escaped it under normal circumstances, but Ford, fatigued, suffering from portal sickness, and weighed down by an enormous gun and matching ammo pack, had been seriously threatened by this unassuming, lazy river. He struggled underwater to cut loose the ammo backpack that was holding him under the water after immediately letting go of the gun, but had blacked out from lack of oxygen before that could be done, leaving him at the mercy of the depths.

_"Luckily, I happened to float towards friendly company."_

When Ford next returned to consciousness, he was resting inside a plain but fairly comfortable straw bed, inside what looked to be a simple farmhouse. A humanoid being was looking over him, male looking, very tall and thin, with green skin and the anatomical features of a frog. "So, da Mewman awakes." he had said, with a tone of relief and fear. Bizarrely, he sounded almost Russian, despite this being a completely different world.

"Stanford, actually." He had responded, still a little dazed from his near drowning. "I presume I have you to thank for saving me from a watery death...? Thank you."

_"He said his name was Vladistave Bulgoyaboff, and soon after introduced his wife Brildostogvan. They had tadpoles on the way, he explained much later after earning my trust, and had spotted me floating by when the couple had gone to check on the mud bank where the eggs were hidden. While I resembled their ancestral enemies, they ultimately decided they couldn't just watch someone drown, and fished me out. I was quick to explain I had no involvement in their ethnic conflict and was intensely grateful to them for saving me. I'm not sure they ever believed I wasn't a Mewman, but I did eventually earn their trust. I had to live at their home for awhile, as I was lost again between dimensions without the small amount of resources I had gathered."_

Numerous memories ran over Ford as he reminisced on his time with the Bulgoyaboffs: They had been very kind to the strange man from the river, freely offering him food and shelter while he replenished his strength and got over an illness he'd picked up while drowning, and even continued to house him while he was perfectly fit and looking for a way out of this dimension instead of kicking him out towards Mewman territory. In return, Ford had done everything he could to help the family: He performed repairs around the house, helped them construct a nursery for the eventual hatching of the children, improved their farm tools and taught them a great deal about crop rotation and chemical fertilizer after analyzing the soil a little.

The last two proved to be unexpected boons: These monsters and their neighbors were substance farmers pushed onto the edges of civilization. Despite the river nearby, which they frequently fished to supplement their food, the land was barren and nutrient poor, and the monster owned farms further from the river were even worse. Eventually, Ford's improvements proved to be a success, and the Bulgoyaboff's introduced him to their friends and neighbors, who were all won over and impressed by the strangely helpful Mewman whose secrets made their farms prosper. These memories, while initially good, soon overwhelmed present day Ford with guilt.

_"That... proved to be their undoing. Word must have gotten around that this patch of monster land was more fertile than initially believed, because the Mewman army was soon on the march. They came over the hills, clad in shinning armor and practically glimmering with the magic boost provided by the Queen. It... Gods of Ragnarok, it was no battle, kids, it was a slaughter, an extermination! The Circktors, Goathelm, Old Durney Farm, the Bulgoyaboffs... all of them were put to the sword. I... was never found out if they located the eggs or not but they... they didn't spare any of the other children."_

_"And me? They let me go. Made the same mistake the Bulgoyaboffs initially did and thought I was a Mewman. Much back slapping was had about successfully rescuing a kidnapped Mewman from torture or ransom at the claws of the dastardly remnants of the great monster army. The blood hadn't even dried on their godforsaken shinning armor."_

Back in the present day, Ford went quiet for a long moment after finishing his story, sinking into his chair like the physical weight of all those years was crushing him. "Of course, that mistake made it pretty easy for me to poison the whole bunch of them when they decided to celebrate their child killing with some drunken revelry." He spat, bitterness and a complete lack of satisfaction to his tone. With a distracted, airy tone of voice, he added that "Eventually, I managed to hitch a ride out of this cesspool of a dimension, but that's a different story. I spent about six more months here, give or take, until that happened, and in my time prowling around this world I saw nothing redeeming about it or its ruling people."

"You remember the wand Star had, that let her generate this comfortable room for us?" He asked, and both teenagers nodded in response. "I heard a great deal about that during my time in this dimension, and when I studied abroad in others, and I can safely say that it is one of the most powerful objects in existence. A raw wellspring of pure magical power that can rewrite reality on an unimaginable scale, and it might have more blood on it than any other singular weapon I have ever encountered."

After a grim silence filled the room for a short moment, Ford eventually regained his strength and pulled himself from his chair, looking at his two fellow humans with a strong, resentful glare, though the feelings were not directed at them. "That is why we should not place too much trust in any of these Mewmans, particularly not their royalty: They are murderous barbarians who chanced upon some of the most amazing magic in all dimensions and have resolved to use it to conduct an ethnic cleansing, and have done so for hundreds of years. I suspect Bill is probably hidden among them somewhere."

Dipper and Pacifica, both chilled to the core, set to work unpacking after that, tumultuous thoughts thoughts running through their heads for the remainder of the night.

* * *

Breakfast next morning was "a simple affair" according to Star, despite the fact that it consisted of multiable plates of fresh fruit and juicy meat for all parties. It proved to be a work breakfast, with the four participants largely talking about their plans to cover the city with the Bill warding dream interceptors, and they were on the verge of finishing up and leaving when the royal couple made their entrance, generating a small groan of disappointment from Star.

"Ah, these must be the magicians from Earth Moonpie was telling me about." King River stated in a measured tone while looking them over, not expressing any particular impression of them. "I am happy to make your acquaintance, and was wondering if you might assist me with something. It might even be a clue you're looking for."

"Daaaaaad!" Star groaned out, obviously embarrassed that he'd decided to give them the suspicious treatment. "We gotta get going dad, the whole city needs to be covered in these cool Bill catching things!" she added, while holding up one of the dream interceptors.

"Now Star, yesterday the... archmage, asked Moon to pass along information about any strange happenings. Well, we've got one for you." River continued to explained while Moon had simply taken her place at the head of the table and was watching the whole thing play out with an analytical eye. Dipper and Ford perked up at the mention of a strange happening, while Pacifica was paying closer attention to the two Butterfly women in the room, trying to scope out more of their personalities.

"A few days ago, one of our knight patrols was lost in the field, and later found dead." King Butterfly explained with a curt, grim tone. Star became a little more reserved at the mention of such a ghastly affair. "What's troubling about this is that they seem to have been killed by magic, but no magic we've been able to identify. To both investigate the possibility this is related to your interdimensional criminal and as a small service to repay the Kingdom of Mewni for hosting you, the Queen and I agreed to allow Archmage Pines..." River trailed off as he examined the rest of the party, before his eyes settled on Dipper. "...and his student Dipper to examine these bodies and report their conclusions." Then, he looked at his daughter, adding on that "Don't worry though sweetie, you can take your remaining friend out to the city as planned!"

Star looked like she was ready to argue, but Dipper took one good look at his Grunkle and made a gesture to the princess. "It's alright Star, this could be just what we're looking for potentially. I don't mind." He then turned so he was talking to her and Pacifica. "I'm completely confident the two of you can accomplish this part of the mission without me and Ford to slow you down."

Star looked unexpectedly taken by Dipper's faith in her, while Pacifica just crossed her arms and glared at him. "Dipper, have you forgotten how my last attempt at babysitting went?" she asked in a biting tone, while looking sideways at the princess.

Dipper just smiled in response to this, saying "C'mon Paz, think of it as a learning experience. If me and Ford get done early, we'll meet at the cornshake place Star was telling us about."

"Then we are in agreement!" River abruptly cut in. "Star, I'm sure you don't need any instruction to show our visitor from Earth around the capital. Ford and Dipper on the other hand, we have a pair of guards waiting outside to escort you when you are both ready."

"We can go right now." Ford spoke up. "I think I've lost my appetite."

* * *

Star and Pacifica were long gone into the city by the time Ford and Dipper had been lead through the Bureaucracy of Magic and put into a cold storage locker kept sealed with one large metal door by a strangely nonthreatening security guard who seemed to be a talking moose of some kind. "I'll be outside if you guys need anything."

With him gone, Dipper and Ford looked at each other, trading a nod of determination, before approaching the object of their investigations: Five Mewman bodies laid out on cold slabs, all of them quite muscular and physically fit. The corpses had obviously received a cursory examination, as whatever battle armor they'd gone out with had been cut away, but they were not anatomically posed correctly.

Dipper set down the backpack of supplies they'd retrieved from their quarters on the way here, carefully and meticulously removing the dissection supplies while Ford walks over to the bodies while snapping on a pair of gloves. "So, if Bill did kill these people, what do you think we're dealing with?" The boy asked in a curious tone. "Psychic shutdown, direct telekinetic laceration of the heart, blood bending, or something more exotic such as..."

"Magic didn't kill these people Dipper." Ford spoke up abruptly, seeming somewhat surprised. He was leaning over the body in the middle, taking a close examination of the chest, which a pattern of holes drilled into the muscular abdomen. Acting quickly, Ford fished a pair of ordinary needle nose pliers out of a coat pocket and jammed them into the small wound, wiggling them around enough to disrupt the slowly decaying flesh.

His apprentice simply walked over with curiosity, taking a spot on the other side of the slab to see what he great uncle pulled out. He had very evidently caught something with the pliers, and when it finally came free, Dipper let out a surprised gasp, while Ford's eyes simply narrowed. Held tight between the tips of the pliers was a dented, bent piece of metal, with some very familiar signs of craftsmanship upon it.

"Like I said Dipper, these knights weren't killed by magic at all. They were killed by plain and simple bullets. Bullets from Earth."

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

_Right, so here we go. The continuation of the story started in "Three Can Keep A Secret," now a crossover with Star Vs. Early parts of "Three Can Keep A Secret" were being written while Season 3 of Star Vs. was happening, and that crossed with the increasingly strong fan theory that they happen in the same multiverse eventually motivated me to take things in this direction. Rest assured I am not leaving behind the characters on Earth, but a lot of the plot here is going to focus on a rewritten version of season 3 where Bill Cipher is stirring up trouble in the background. _

_I hope that everyone who picked up this story as a Gravity Falls fanfic will continue to enjoy the story, while for all the Star Vs. fans discovering it for the first time, welcome! I'm interested to hear what both groups of fans think of this work. There is a purely Gravity Falls fanfiction called "Three Can Keep A Secret" that this is a continuation of, but the short of it is that Dipper accepted Grunkle Ford's offer to be his apprentice, and three years later they, joined by Pacifica Northwest, hunt a revived Bill Cipher across the multiverse. _

_Again, I hope that both followers of my original story and people first discovering my writing here can enjoy it, and I welcome feedback from all of my readers! _


	2. Questions and Answers

While the two boys were making their way through the castle, on course to a grim discovery, Star had asked Pacifica to swing by her personal quarters before they began their work, claiming she needed to pick something up before they set off on their mission. The blond from Earth took meticulous note of the route through the vertical labyrinth of a castle in hopes of memorizing a swift way to the personal residence of the princess, which could come in handy at some point. "Wait here juuuuust a minute!" Star had said, leaving Pacifica outside.

As soon as the ornate door slammed shut, the human girl whipped out her phone and began typing her recollection of the directions onto the notes function, trying to commit as much to writing as possible. Pacifica quickly became engrossed in this task, and didn't even notice Star had stepped back out until the princess intoned "Wow, I wouldn't think you'd have service here."

Pacifica's heart skipped a beat like she'd been caught in the act, but when she looked up at Star the other girl was giving her a pleasant, normal expression, no signs of accusation or mistrust visible. Doing her best to sound like she wasn't surprised moments ago, Pacifica responded by saying "Oh, no, I don't, I was just double checking my daily schedule, make sure I didn't forget anything." dismissively, but then however, a look of realization spread on the human's face, and quizzically, she asked "Wait, how do you know what cell service even is?"

"We HAVE phones here Pacifica, we're not savages." Star said with a sort of amused dismissive tone, clearly not offended by the other girl's presumption. "Besides, I know all about your Earth technology from, well, my stay there..." she explained, getting a little dour at the end of her explanation.

Pacifica's eyebrow raised in curiosity, but she also recognized something about Earth had deflated Star's seemingly bottomless good cheer, and she should tread carefully. "I, uh, had gotten the impression you simply knew of Earth, not that you'd visited it." Pacifica explained, before hastily adding "I'm sorry, I can tell I've touched a sore spot, look, whatever bad thing happened to you on my world..."

"No." Star replied quickly, still a little sullen. "No, Earth was wonderful for me, and I made such a wonderful friend while I was there..." she explained, looking wistful but downcast, chewing her bottom lip a little. "The bad thing was when I left..." The princess added, and the air between the two blonds was uncomfortably quiet for a moment. However, quick as a flash, Star was active and preppy again. "But, enough about that, I have a gift for you!" she continued, wide grin on her face while producing a knife from behind her back.

If Pacifica hadn't already been leaning on the wall opposite Star's door, she'd had jumped back when the princess abruptly pulled out a vicious looking hunting dagger and held it in her direction. "It's a friendship weapon!" she explained, seemingly oblivious to Pacifica wanting to jump out of her skin. "It's a tradition from my father's side of the family. You give meat to apologize and offer weapons to mark the beginning of new friendships!"

That explanation did calm Pacifica down, but she could still feel the fight or flight chemicals bubbling with uncomfortable warmth all over her body, and as a result, was a little snappy when she looked up at Star and remarked, "Did you not learn that humans have very different cultural connotations attached to surprising people with blades when you gave one to your earth friend!?" However, Pacifica quickly regretted this, as Star went simultaneously morose and bright red at this remark, causing the startled human to look apologetic.

"...No." she admitted, looking down at her feet. "This, uh, custom, it has... VERY different connotations if the two people involved are of the opposite gender." Star explained, clearly voicing a mixture of embarrassment, regret and longing to her tone.

Pacifica began to feel the pieces come together in her head, but this social calculation was interrupted by a flash of empathy for the other girl. Gingerly, she reached out and took the dagger from Star, offering her a soft smile in return. "Well, I'll accept your offer of a new friendship then Star. Now, anything else we need, or is it time to start the mission?"

Star had brightened up again in response to Pacifica's words, but instead of being full on bursting with cheer, she instead had a soft, warm smile on her face, seeming to thank the other girl with just her eyes. "No, I think I'm good to go. C'mon, it's gonna take an hour to cover JUST the castle!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the more magical section of the castle, Ford was pacing back and forth in front of the line of slabs, while Dipper was leaning against the far wall, reviewing his notepad, within which he had painstakingly documented every clue and detail the older scientist had gleaned from the corpses.

Further examination revealed the other four were also killed by bullets, and that the bullets inside each of the knights were the same model, most likely all fired from the same gun: Dipper had ripped out five pieces of the yellow paper, and drawn approximate positions of all the bullet wounds on one knight's chest to one piece of paper, creating rough models of all five injury sites. When shifted around a few times, the papers could be lined up to create a clean line of trailing bullet wounds, indicating that these five were most likely killed by a single shooter with one weapon sweeping the patrol.

In addition, the bullets in question were all pistol caliber, but the team of knights had a total of 22 bullet wounds on them, all of them shot directly into the chest from in front of each knight. In the end, Dipper and Ford had concluded that the entire squad was probably killed in very quick succession by a singular shooter armed with a submachine gun, who was either lying in wait along their patrol route and ambushed them or had initially appeared non-threatening until they got within range and produced the weapon.

"And in addition to all that, they clearly have experience with this kind of weapon." Dipper concluded, looking over the corpses again. "Minimal bullet spread, well planned conservation of ammo, and according to the filling in we got on the way up here, most of these guys still had their weapons stowed when the bodies were discovered, meaning the shooter got the drop on them."

"As much as a good scientist shouldn't jump to conclusions that validate their preconceived notions, I think I am safe attributing this to Bill." Ford remarked, briefly stopping his pacing to probe his memory. "It's something of a calling card for him, kill someone in one dimension with something from another dimension that's completely foreign to them, his murder of the guiding deity of a realm without heat or light by opening a pinprick sized portal to the surface of a blue supergiant being the most prominent example." Then, the older man stopped and scowled deeply. "I can't help but think this is a personal message directed at me, or worse, a cunning trick to try and cast suspicion on travelers from Earth."

"I wouldn't worry about us getting discredited." Dipper replied offhandedly, eyes going over his notes. "We've got the princess on our side after all. I think."

Grunkle Ford stopped and gave his apprentice a concerned look, enough for Dipper to feel the gaze upon him and look up, a troubled expression on his young face. "Grunkle Ford?" he asked, wondering if he'd done something wrong. Ford softened a little at this, not having meant to glare at Dipper, and when he spoke, it was with a cautioning but understanding tone of voice.

"Be careful around the Butterfly princess." He stated. "Every queen of Mewni was once a princess Dipper, and based on my research here, every queen of Mewni is also a bloodthirsty tyrant."

* * *

The current Queen of Mewni, as a matter of fact, was currently standing in a waiting room, an annoyed expression on her face as Sean the security guard checked her for magic items before she could be admitted to the meeting room. With an annoyed huff, Queen Moon finally entered the presence of the remaining three members of the Magical High Commission.

"'Sup Moon?" Hekapoo greeted, instantly dispelling the serious air of the meeting. Further annoyed now, Moon simply took her seat and got straight to business.

"Did you gather all available information I requested?" she asked, and quickly enough, a small portal emerged over her part of the table and a small number of papers gently floated out of it.

"As requested, all known information on interdimensional criminal S2E19-333333333, AKA Bill Cipher." The voice of Omnitraxus Prime emerged from his teleconference crystal ball. Moon began to browse the documents, very standard criminal reports marked with an odd circular symbol here and there, but she was interrupted soon into her reading.

After a quiet moment of letting her read the papers, the snake armed paladin of crystals, Rhombulus, forced a cough onto the head of one of his arms, making the snake wince. "Uh, Queen Moon? Not that I mind attending this meeting or anything, but... this isn't about Lekmet's funeral tomorrow, right? Nothing is happening to threaten that, right?"

The Queen looked up from her papers and gave the crystal headed warrior a look of sympathy. "No, nothing so dire as to disrupt that, at least not yet. I simply need to get a few facts straight."

"I don't know why you're suddenly so worried about this nobody Moon." Hekapoo cut in, a dismissive tone to her voice. "This guy was small time, a plane shifting con artist who pretended to be a god to fleece rube dimensions out of whatever worthless material they traded in."

"Was?" Moon asked, an eyebrow suddenly raised in curiosity.

"We captured and imprisoned him centuries ago." Omnitraxus replied matter of factly. "Pretty standard bust job, it's all in the documents."

"Yeah, I put him out of business and into crystal myself!" Rhombulus spoke up, eager to tell the queen all about his success in this matter. "I remember the battle like it was yesterday! He tried to hit me with disintegration spell but it bounced off my pecs! Then I gave him some of this, a little of that...!" he continued, while throwing mimed punches that left his snake arms looking dizzy "...and then froze him up in a crystal, like all the other evil doers! He's been there ever since."

"For once, Rhombulus is more or less conveying things accurately. He was a small time smuggler who had influence between, maybe four dimensions? and we shut him down with barely a fight. Where did this name even come up for you anyway?" Hekapoo asked, remaining dismissive of Bill but now much more interested in Moon.

"We have... new guests, at the castle. Travelers from Earth, seemingly completely unconnected to Star, who claim they are in pursuit of Bill Cipher, and that he recently attacked their home dimension." Moon informed in return, obvious confusion at the contradiction between the two stories on her face. Similar looks grew on the Commission members, as this new information took them by surprised. The Queen of Mewmi has an obvious air of concern about her that she was only now letting show. _"Did I send my daughter alone into a dimension we didn't truly understand?"_

"That's impossible. There's only one pair of dimensional scissors on Earth, and you're saying Mus... I mean, Marco wasn't with them?" Hekapoo asked, clearly flustered now, for a couple of reasons.

"No, Marco isn't among this group of arrivals." The Queen answered with a raised eyebrow while shuffling the papers together into one neat stack. Moon then focused her eyes on the documents, reading them intently, while remarking that "Star was able to confirm they are genuinely from Earth, and they seemed very sincere in their statements about hunting Bill Cipher, so that makes two impossibilities we are dealing with." She turned her eyes up at the Commission now, giving them a mild glare. "It seems my sources about Earth are less knowledgeable then I'd been led to believe."

All of the Commission members shrank somewhat under Moon's glare, but Hekapoo seemed to take personal offense at the queen's tone. "You came to us almost a year ago asking for knowledge of the lowest magic dimension in existence for Star to run around and burn things in while she gets a handle on the wand, and we told you what was the absolute truth! Earth has no natural magic, of any kind! At most, it has small levels of background radiation passing into it from the Lucitor realm due to their soul trafficking, but a year's worth of that couldn't charge a mirror phone for one call!"

Her eyebrow raising in sarcastic questioning, Queen Moon simply responded that "Well, the facts blatantly contradict your initial impression, so either you were wrong, or something has changed. They've managed to arrive on Mewni seemingly under their own power, and I've acquired a magic item they claim to have created." While explaining this, Moon produced the dream interceptor she'd acquired yesterday and slid it across the table to Hekapoo, who she knew would want to examine it.

"The magic craftsmanship seems passable at least, though I've only done basic tests." Moon continued. "Supposedly it's a psychic interceptor, able to capture mind waves used by this Bill Cipher and convert them to hallucination liquid for later viewing. I've only done the most preliminary magic tests on it, but it seems genuine." she explained, before passing the object down the table to the smith of the scissors. Hekapoo quickly produced a visual aid resembling a jeweler's loupe to examine it more closely.

"Then they must be frauds, thieves of some kind. If they've stolen Marco's dimensional scissors..." the forger of portals retorted, while getting the object into position under her gaze. Her attention now fully absorbed by the magic trinket, Hekapoo phased out of the conversation, muttering observations to herself. "Sub-par material as I'd expect, blatant... wait, no, that's quite clever... is this genuine mana amber? That shouldn't be possible... penmanship on the runes is excellent..."

In front of the crystal ball presenting the master of space and time, two portals appeared, one depositing a fresh sheet of paper and another spitting a primed pen, with hands following each object. "You highness, could you describe these humans for us? Please, spare no details." Omnitraxus requested.

"The leader was introduced as Doctor Stanford Pines, supposedly he's an archmage." The Queen explained, voice sounding a little dry at the last comment. "Elderly by human standards, but still looks quite physically capable. Brown hair, and six fingers on both of his hands." She continued to describe, before focusing in on her specific memories of the man. "While I doubt he's actually an archmage, he had an air of... certainty to him. Speaking on these subjects with the authority of an expert."

Around the table, Omnitraxus continued to scribble down these descriptions to search for later, while Rhombulus was reaching his snake arms across the table to try and grab the dream interceptor to have a look. Normally Hekapoo would swiftly rebuke him for this, but she was focused in on the object with a look of abject concentration and a deep frown.

"The other two are teenagers, a little older than Star, and claim to be Stanford's students." Moon continued. "One says his name is Dipper Pines and claims to be the archmage's great nephew, and I can see the family resemblance. The other is a girl who introduced herself as Pacifica Northwest. Long blond hair, very... courtly, attitude, for both a human and a teenager."

"So, where are these humans now?" Rhombulus spoke up to ask, having been passed the dream interceptor after Hekapoo finished examining it with a huff. "Did you throw them in the dungeon?" He added on, drawing an eye roll from the scissor smith.

"No, I left them in Star's responsibility and gave them limited permission to conduct their mission. It will be a good learning experience in leadership for her, and if Bill Cipher is as great a threat as they say, then someone needs to be working to stop him." Moon explained.

At this point, the Queen put down the stack of papers, having been reading them during the entire conversation and having just completed the pile. "They're actually scattering a whole collection of those dream interceptors all over the city, to protect us from Bill's psychic abilities, which these documents make no mention of." Moon raised a eyebrow at Hekapoo. "I trust these objects are what they seem?"

Hekapoo sat in her chair silently for a moment, arms crossed and somewhat huffy looking. Finally, she admitted "Yes, they're legitimate. If scattered across the city they'll capture psychic waves and distill them to liquid that went drunk will show you what was being carried in the wave. I've never seen someone make something so high quality out of such limited materials!"

"But that's pointless!" Rhombulus spoke up, angrily slamming his hands on the table, dazing the snakes. "I captured Bill Cipher a long time ago and put him in a crystal! It was a huge, cool battle that I won and I haven't set him free or anything! He doesn't pose a threat! My diamonds are unbreakable!"

"I am confident that you dealt with Bill to the full extent of your abilities and knowledge at the last time you battled him. I would never accuse the Magical High Commission of lying to the Queen of Mewni." Moon reassured, mildly annoyed by this outburst. "But, the fact of the matter is that our facts aren't adding up about what matters. We must consider the possibility that this Bill Cipher may possess psychic abilities you had previously overlooked, and perhaps that has allowed him to... influence the world beyond his crystal somehow?"

The three MHC members sat in uncomfortable silence, mulling over the Queen's words. "I think I would like to meet this... Stanford Pines." Hekapoo spoke up after a long moment.

"Yeah, me too! How dare he question the quality of my work!" Rhombulus added in, which did draw sarcastic looks from the other people in the room.

"I will decline a personal meeting, your majesty." Omnitraxus Prime spoke up while his collection of notes were sucked into a portal. "I believe I can derive more information about our visitors with some research. If you'll excuse me, I shall see you all tomorrow at the service." And a moment later, the crystal ball went dark.

"So, let's go meet the humans, Queen Moon. I'd rather do this sooner than later." Hekapoo spoke, getting out of her chair and pushing it in. "Where are they at the moment?"

"Quite close by actually. I'm having them look at a recent problem of ours."

* * *

While that meeting had been going on, Star and Pacifica had been completing the initial covering of the castle grounds, placing protection over the important bedrooms, the servant quarters, and the more magically sensitive locations.

During the trip around the castle Star had occupied Pacifica by telling her as much as she knew about the various places they passed, but now that they were making their way to the streets and doubling back through used pathways, she was unable to dabble into that topic. So, Star turned the conversation elsewhere.

"So, that was an interesting talking to you had with mom earlier." Star mentioned offhandedly. "I didn't realize people from Earth could be so... courtly."

With a guarded expression, Pacifica responded by saying "Well, it's a learned skill, as I'm sure you're familiar with. Comes with being born to high society."

"Oooooooh, are you Earth royalty or something? I was under the impression it didn't work like that there!" Star spoke up excitedly, bouncing on her heels for a moment. "Do you have a castle as well?"

"I used to." Pacifica responded on instinct, before grimacing a little and verbally backtracking. "It's... it's not really the same on Earth though, well maybe it is a little. I was born to a family that was upper class because we have large amounts of money and an empire of businesses and stores that we own, not because we held political power. Well, officially we didn't. We weren't supposed to."

Star didn't quite fully get what Pacifica had explained, and her face displayed this, but she was slowly forming conclusions. "So, on Earth, it's... some people live in big fancy castles and have servants and riches because they're good at selling things instead of being born to a line of rulers who have to manage everyone in the realm, use magic to fight monsters and go to boring diplomatic meetings?"

"Well, the wealth and status passes from parent to child on Earth as well, but... kinda, yeah." Pacifica admitted, needing a moment to process Star's logic but ultimately understanding it. "The Northwests, my family, have been wealthy for generations, but we got our start... less than honorably, and don't really provide for the people of the nation like yours does."

_"Years ago I would have gleefully boasted about that fact and never mentioned our fraudulent beginnings, but that's not who Pacifica Northwest is anymore." _she reassured herself mentally. After taking a moment to think this to herself, Pacifica meant to speak up and explain further to Star, but the princess spoke first by throwing her arms ups in consternation first.

"Why does Earth gotta be so cooooool!?" Star groaned to herself in frustration. "Here on Mewni being a princess comes with a BUNCH of rules, and traditions and responsibilities that all seem to exist to make sure whoever's running the show can't actually do anything or enjoy their life in any way!" At that point, Star looked over at Pacifica, and while she wasn't burning with jealousy or feeling any negative thoughts feelings about her new friend, Star felt somewhat envious of the position she assumed Pacifica was in, and it showed on her face. "It must be awesome being a princess on Earth. I bet you get to spend all the treasure building giant bounce houses and helping people..."

Rather than be offended by Star's presumptions about her life, the Northwest simply gave the Butterfly a look that mixed pity for Star's naivete, a longing that things aren't like how she thinks they are, and a growing sense of discomfort as memories encroached on her. "It's... not really like that either Star. There's still a bunch of rules you're supposed to follow, formalities to follow, expectations to meet..."

Star winced a little at Pacifica's description, feeling bad that she'd presumed an ease to the other girl's life, but not quite noticing the discomfort that was setting on her. "I'm sorry Pacifica, but I know exactly how you feel. You gotta go to boring parties full of drunk old people, traditions to uphold even though they don't make any sense..."

"...Never let people know the real you, God forbid you have any kind of public immorality even though everyone you deal with is crooked as hell, can't go to any kind of public place unless you're putting on a media show..." Pacifica continued to ramble with contempt, getting into a bit of a cathartic ramble.

"...Have to study YEARS of dull political and military minutia on the off chance one piece of it becomes useful someday, put on weird self-righteous ceremonies that are all about lies, never have any kind of fun, never be yourself..." Star rambled alongside her, getting into the swing of things. With a sly sort of grin, she looked sideways at Pacifica and asked "But you know what the worst thing?"

Pacifica, seeming to catch the tone Star was throwing at her, raised an eyebrow in quirky fashion. "I think I have a pretty good idea, but why don't you let me know?"

"THE SUITORS!" They said together, actually sharing a laugh at the fact they'd guessed each other's response, a sort of laugh you have about a joke that felt uncomfortably real.

"Can you believe some of the people they try to set us up with?" Star asked, still laughing but with a noticeable ring of disgust to her voice.

"Oh I know, I've been introduced to some real wretched ones." Pacifica answered, giggling just as hard as Star but in a more reserved fashion. "I mean, if both of the families have so much to benefit, why not form a regular partnership, or an alliance? Is marriage such a vital component of this deal?"

"I know right!?" Star said in exasperation. "And everyone has to have an opinion on it as well! I mean, I don't go around judging all my aunts for their dating lives, but any time they come around the castle mine is the most important topic of conversation!"

"The only place that you meet worse people than on the rebound is at big high society gatherings." Pacifica remarked, laughter dying down at this point but still pretty amused. Star was also beginning to calm down, as they were almost at a castle exit by this point and would soon be moving through the capital streets.

"Yeah, haha, you're really right Pacifica..." Star trailed off, looking guilty for a moment before staring at her human friend with a smile that was asking for forgiveness. "Hey, I want to apologize for something..."

Pacifica looked a little confused at this statement, suddenly adopting a guarded attitude towards the princess. "For what, Star? You haven't done anything wrong to me, not yet at least."

"Weeeeeell, I did kinda think a few less than nice things about you after your conversation with mom. I thought you were going to be some stuck up, ultra formal traditionalist who'd be unbearable to hang out with." Star admitted with a guilty voice. "But after talking with you like this... you understand. You understand a lot about the downsides of living as a princess even if you act like a strict rules abiding princess. I hope my stray thoughts didn't unconsciously sabotage your part of the room when I made it better."

Making a mental note to check her room for traps now, Pacifica looked back at Star and crossed her arms with a playfully upset expression. "Well Star, just because I know how to turn on the attitude when it will serve my advantage doesn't mean this girl from Earth doesn't know how to make a little trouble."

Star was grinning widely now, and answered Pacifica with an exaggerated voice that indicated she was teasing her. "Oh really, and what kind of rebellion against tradition do you even have on Earth? Drinking tea without a coaster?"

Taking this as a challenge, Pacifica looked Star dead in the eyes while pulling out a box of grape juice she'd put in her backpack as a potential snack during this day out, and with a slowly growing grin, poured it straight out onto the high quality rug the two were standing on. Star grinned a little in response to this, but then actually jumped with surprise when Pacifica hurled the empty container down the hallway and over Star's shoulder, so it would impact a marble bust of a muscular Mewman woman with a minimal amount of hair and send it to the floor, shattering into powder on contact.

Star, who had followed the flying juice box with her eyes, slowly turned back to the girl from Earth with a mortified expression on her face that was gradually morphing into amazement and admiration, eyes going big and getting glittery. "You. are. so. COOL!" Star yelled out, pulling Pacifica into a crushing hug that knocked the wind out of the second blond, and soon enough had dragged the other girl out of the castle and into the streets, a desire to get away from the act still resonating despite how much she'd enjoyed seeing it.

* * *

Back up in the tower, Ford and Dipper had gathered all the information they believed they could from the dead, and wished to leave. Unfortunately, the security guard watching them proved quite insistent.

"My orders were very clear. Queen Moon will collect you two from here when she requires your presence again. You are not to move through this part of the Bureaucracy of Magic unsupervised. My instructions are to keep you here, and I will follow my instructions!" Sean insisted to the two Pines family members, who were standing in the open portal with the metal door swung open, looking disgruntled. "Now, please wait patiently until Queen Moon is ready to see you." he insisted, before spinning around to face the hallway again and stand guard. "Ah, Queen Moon!"

Somehow, all three of them had failed to notice Moon, Hekapoo and Rhombulus approaching the cold storage room, having come straight here from the meeting. The two humans swiftly moved their expressions towards a more neutral look after being fed up with several minutes of arguing with Sean, the guard himself look surprised, while Queen Moon looked emotionless, Rhombulus seemed perplexed, and Hekapoo was looking mildly smug.

"So, the archmage. A pleasure to meet you, Doctor Pines, correct?" Hekapoo greeted, sounding coy as usual. "Student Dipper, greetings."

"What news do you carry regarding the unfortunate fate of our noble knights, Doctor Pines?" Queen Moon cut in, seizing control of the conversation straight away. "Hopefully some insight to what strange magic slew them, and if it will be a continued threat to my kingdom?"

"Your majesty." Ford acknowledged with his not particularly skilled impression of respect for the monarch, offering a brusque head nod. "Our examination of the bodies has produced some concrete evidence for a few different causes, though all consist of foul play. To narrow down our hypothesizes, I'd like to visit the sight of the attack."

"We can discuss an expedition in due time. For the moment, you attention is needed elsewhere." Moon explained, then shifted her attention to Dipper. "Young man, go assist Princess Star in whatever operation she is conducting right now. We only need to speak with the archmage."

Both Pines twins seem surprised by the queen's demand, and Dipper shot Ford a nervous look, but the elder scientist answered it with steely, unshakable confidence. "Everything will be all right Dipper. Go on and help Star and Pacifica spread the dream interceptors, we are going to need them." With an understanding nod, Dipper stepped away from his mentor, towards the exit.

"Sean, show Mister Pines here the way out, and ensure his safety." Moon ordered the security guard personally, while Hekapoo strode forward to challenge Ford directly.

"Ah yes, your dream interceptors. Handy little things, even if they show all the signs of being crafted on a stinky little rock. Unfortunately they are not needed here on Mewni." She stated confidently once Sean and Dipper were out of earshot.

"Based on the severe devastation the recent invasion inflicted on your kingdom, I would have imagined you'd be eager to put in place a fresh line of defense, particularly when Bill Cipher is at large." Ford responded, not feeling the least bit intimidated by the scissor smith.

"Well Doctor, that's where you're wrong. Bill Cipher is ancient history!" Rhombulus spoke up, trying to sound like a cool political game player like Moon, Ford and Hekapoo and doing a significantly worse job of it. His words did seem to take Ford by a little bit of surprise though.

With a worriedly cautious expression, he asked "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"It means the two bit hustler you claimed attacked your world had actually been neutralized and locked up by order of the Magical High Commission several centuries ago." Hekapoo said with barely contained smug certainty. "So, the game's up. Whatever you hoped to accomplish by bringing up the name of a long lost, two bit demon con artist to frighten the queen, it's gone now."

Rather than crack, confess into guilt or try to flee like Rhombulus and Hekapoo had expected, Ford instead hardened his attitude and responded with steely, dreadful certainty, making none of his feelings hidden. "You are wrong. Bill Cipher is an active threat, alive and stronger than you could possibly imagine. It's obvious he found some way to deceive you all those years ago. He's tricked much smarter in his time."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Rhombulus yelled out, adopting an angry stance towards the scientist as his snake arms hissed in displeasure.

"It means he's given you the slip, and has been giving you the slip for centuries." Ford stated bluntly, not hiding an ounce of his contempt for the two otherworldly beings in front of him. "More than likely, you've locked up some miserable patsy in his stead. Where are you keeping this prisoner? I demand to see them."

"You are in no position to make demands here!" Hekapoo retorted, an accusing edge to all her words. "Now, start explaining how you got to this dimension! How were you able to travel from Earth!?"

"Hekapoo." Moon cut in, her tone cold as ice, enough to make the flame atop the other woman's head shrink a little. "While you are correct that Doctor Pines is not in a position to make demands here, keep in mind neither are you. I am the queen here."

"Yes, your majesty." she muttered, taking a small step back in recognition that Queen Moon was about to seize the situation.

"Now, the simple fact of the matter is that both Doctor Pines and the Magical High Commission have provided information on this Bill Cipher, and both of your reports are highly contradictory." the monarch began to orate. "In this troubled time for Mewni, no threat can simply be dismissed. Doctor Pines, you will accompany us on a fact finding mission to Bill Cipher's prison, to ascertain the truth of this matter. I trust you have no objections?"

"As you wish, your majesty." Ford replied, eyes narrowing. "I'm certain this trip will be highly illuminating."

* * *

As Dipper was moved back through the castle, Sean attempted to start up casual conversation a few times, but Dipper always gave him the cold shoulder. He spent the entire walk through the gilded corridors wondering what the Mewman Queen and her two pet monsters had in store for his mentor. It wasn't so much concern, as Dipper had complete faith in Ford's ability to win or escape during any hostile encounter, but sheer curiosity. What could they possibly want with just him?

"Well, we're here. You're free to go Mister Pines." Sean's soft spoken voice, actually tinged with a hint of annoyance, roused Dipper from his contemplative funk, and he found himself in a castle courtyard, a clear path out in front of him. Dismissing the humanoid moose without even looking at him, Dipper quickly procured a map of the Mewman capital from his pocket, having requested this during breakfast to prepare for the mission. With that in hand, it was easy for him to plot a course to the cornshake restaurant Star had designated as a meeting point.

As he walked through the rubble streets of the recently invaded city, Dipper couldn't help but think back to the first few months of his apprenticeship on Earth. One of the first things his great uncle had given Dipper in the context of their new student teacher relationship was an apology, as the damage left behind by Bill resulted in the boy being thrown head first into a level of activity Ford would have preferred to ease him into, but neither of them could afford that luxury.

With a small smile on his face, Dipper remembered the work of those days. Curse purging, eyeball hunting, interring zombies, medical examinations for everyone who'd been targeted by Bill's magic, _"Those went on forever!" _Dipper thought to himself. Though the work had been exhausting, he still remembered it fondly. Putting what small bandages he could on the wounds Bill inflicted, sometimes able to save people from potential lifetimes of pain and curses.

_"That was when I knew I'd reached an entirely different level, and that I'd made the right choice." _he recalled mentally, free from doubts or second guesses. _"All my previous efforts, running around with my journal and my sister, stumbling onto adventures, it was all a prologue. All to prepare me for what I do now, the important work." _

The trip down memory lane did briefly bring a frown to Dipper's face though, as he thought back to that first summer, where his life changed forever. _"Mabel...Why couldn't you just support me on this, when I always supported you?" _He thought bitterly. Looking through his memories only made the boy upset, as remembrances he once found pleasant were now colored dark by his new perspective on things. _"I'm not even mad at her anymore, just disappointed and... disinterested. I never realized how much I didn't actually want to interact with her until I had other options."_

Before he could consider this any further though, a pair of waving hands broke his concentration and brought Dipper back to reality. He was at the cornshake place, where Pacifica and Star already had a table and a few drinks ready, and seemed to be conversing with ease before Dipper had caught their attention. Making his way over the floor, the boy took a seat besides them, greeting the two with a simple "Hey guys, good timing! How's the hang up going?"

"It's going great so far Dipper!" Star responded, eagerly bringing the bag of dream interceptors up to the table to show it was almost empty. "We've been able to scatter them all over the place!"

"I've got all the locations marked here." Pacifica spoke up, removing her own map of the Mewman capital, which boasted fresh marker spots everywhere they'd hung up one of the devices. "Star's wand let us get this done way faster than we expected, so we figured we'd wait here for you before hanging up the rest." Then, with a little frown, she asked "How did the examination go?"

Dipper cast a brief glance over at the Mewman princess before answering, choosing to say "Went pretty well, but Grunkle Ford wants to visit the actual place they were found dead before we make any final conclusions." Then, he addressed Star directly. "Do you think you could arrange something like that, Prin... Star?"

"No problem." Star replied confidently. "We could probably go later today if you guys are still up for it." Then, she paused for a moment, blinking. "Hey, where's Doctor Pines?"

"Well, Queen Moon wanted to talk to him privately about the results of the examination, so I imagine he's not that far behind me." Dipper informed, speculating while looking over his shoulder. "She had these two, uh, kinda weird people with her. One of them looked like a cross between a vampire and a fire elemental, and the other seemed composed entirely of crystals, snakes and abdominal muscles."

"Ooooooh, that's Hekapoo and Rhombulus, they're part of the Magical High Commission." Star explained, while shaking some dust out of her wand onto a pile of napkins, which caused the cloth to come to life and wrap together into crude figurines resembling the two Commission members. "Rhombulus is the guy with a diamond for a head, he's some kind of dimension hopping crime fighter who locks evil people up in crystals and rides a scooter." While she mentioned this, the napkin Rhombulus argued with with both his snake arms. "He's kind of an idiot." Star admitted bluntly.

Meanwhile, the Hekapoo mockup was holding a pair of disposable knives together at the handles to make an improvised pair of scissors, which it could only handle clumsily due to how much bigger they are than her. "Hekapoo is the fiery one, and she oversees all interdimensional travel. She makes the magic scissors that let you travel between dimensions, and she decides who gets to own a pair."

"Wait, you can just travel between dimensions with a pair of scissors?" Pacifica asked bluntly. "What, you just cut a hole between worlds and that's it?"

"Well, yeah? I mean the Lucitors got some weird ritual summoning stuff but most people use scissors. I kinda figured that's how you guys got here?" Star answered innocently.

"Oh no, believe me, a lot more went into our travel than just a pair of scissors." Pacifica replied, still somewhat taken aback that the outcome of thirty plus years of groundbreaking scientific work and heartbreak could just be recreated with a pair of scissors that the princess spoke of so casually. "Dipper, can you believe that..."

When the blond turned her attention to the boy though, she saw he had no reaction to this revelation due to being intently focused on the little MHC member dolls, watching them run through the slightly mocking actions Star had set them to do with intense focus and a curled, upset eyebrow.

_"Someone who regulates travel between dimensions..." _Dipper thought to himself, _"...And someone who fights against the evil of the multiverse..."_

_"Where the hell were you two when Bill attacked!?"_

"Uh... Dipper? You there Dipper?" Star asked gently, waving an arm back and forth in a failed attempt to catch his attention. Pacifica, meanwhile, simply leaned back into her chair and sucked on her cornshake, recognizing this as a state Dipper goes into when he's thinking really hard about something and not wanting to disturb him. The princess was, however, able to follow his eyes and determine what the boy was focusing on, and gave her wand a little shake to try and catch his attention.

Right before his eyes, the two figures Dipper was watching changed, from carrying out a pantomime of their magical duties, to both of them performing an embarrassing dance. The boy blinked for a second as the change of information washed over him, then burst out laughing at the sight, both surprised and amused.

"I'm sorry I got all intense on you guys for a second there, c'mon, let's relax a little." Dipper spoke up, reaching to the cornshake that had been reserved for him and taking a sip. He abruptly stopped sipping, smacked his lips a few times, and tried it again. "Well, I've had worse." He remarked softly after finishing his second sip. "Star, could you tell us more about Mewni? I mean, you're somewhat knowledgeable about Earth, but I don't know anything about this place."

"I'd be happy to!" Star replied excitedly, spinning her wand around in her fingers in preparation for the conjuring of visual aids. "I think you guys are going to love it here!"

* * *

While the three youngsters got to know each other better, their elders moved through the crystal gallery that filled the lair of Rhombulus, distrust and dislike existing between all of them. The crystal master led the way, giving a brief explanation of the prison as well as the planet blasters and black hole makers he had frozen in crystal. Ford took the whole thing in with silence, opting to say as little as possible while observing as much as possible.

_"It's certainly an interesting menagerie they have here." _Ford admitted to himself while glancing around. _"I should keep my eyes open for a spike of blue hair. Maybe they arrested that old smuggler I knew." _He wondered, before casting a look over at Rhombulus trying to impress Queen Moon with the story behind the capture of a small, fluffy mammal. _"...I doubt it. He'd outwit this bunch every day of the week."_

"...But of course, they can't compare to the capture we've all come here to see, Bill Cipher!" Rhombulus exclaimed, abruptly rousing him from his thoughts. It took the scientist a moment to realize where he was supposed to be looking, due to none of the crystals around him holding anything resembling his life long nemesis.

"So, there you go old man. The proof is in the crystal. Bill Cipher, locked up and helpless for hundreds of years. Now, you ready to tell us all the truth?" Hekapoo commented smugly, crossing her arms and looking at Ford with an expectant look. Rhombulus seemed similar pumped, ready to be validated, while Queen Moon observed passively.

Ford narrowed his eyes.

"This isn't Bill Cipher. You've all been played for fools by an intellect superior to yours by eons."

The being frozen in crystal before the old man was a cyclopean creature, but that was as close as it got to resembling Bill. It was an exceedingly long and thin humanoid, stretched limbs caught frozen in time, mid-flex, extending off a short, barrel like torso that bore an open, fanged mouth. The being's skin was tight and rubbery over lithe muscles, and the head was a narrow cylinder rising from the barrel chest, that seemed to only have one eyes because two wouldn't fit upon the flesh. The open mouth, caught in a frozen scream, and the singular eye, bulging and red, seemed to indicate a being stopped mid-attack, but Stanford had other ideas.

The blunt condemnation coming from the earthling seemed to take the MHC members by surprise, causing them to lose whatever smug remark they had planned to say, allowing Ford to get a second word in before they could speak. "Let them out. Now." He demanded sternly.

"Uh, excuse me, human, I think we've been over the fact that YOU are in NO position to be making demands of anyone here!" Hekapoo responded aggressively, Rhombulus similarly getting worked up behind her. "WE are the central authority of all things magical and interdimensional here, not you! And we have just proven to you that your little boogeyman Bill Cipher has been locked up for centuries! The jig is UP old man! Tell us the truth!"

"The truth? You want the truth?" Ford stated, a fire beginning to build inside his stubborn old heart as the MHC drew him into this argument. "Well, the truth of the matter is that I have only been in this dimension for about a day at this point, and I can tell for certainty that the truth is that it, and all other dimensions, are policed by idiots!" he announced sternly while getting up in Hekapoo's face. "With enforcement like you two, it's no wonder Bill has been free to rampage through dimensions during his long life of bloodshed! He destroyed his entire home dimension under your noses!" Then, Ford turned to the side to throw his arms at Rhombulus. "Your chief enforcer is a sniveling manchild who isn't fit to issue parking tickets!"

"H...HEY, THAT'S NOT TRUE! SHUT UP!" Rhombulus sniveled in response, being patted on the shoulder by both snake arms.

"Look at this place!" Ford yelled, stomping about now and throwing his arms up to encompass the entire crystal prison. "I bet you've ignorantly locked up more innocent people than actually evil in here, probably with shoddy craftsmanship at that!" Then, his eyes widened as something caught his attention. "Why, look at that crystal over there! It's cracking apart!"

Due to the fact he had his back to them, Ford was unable to notice the shocked and worried expressions his last statement put on the faces of his hosts, even the so far unflappable Queen Moon. All of them followed his gaze, their worst fears confirmed when they saw just who was imprisoned in the slowly splintering crystal Ford had pointed out.

"Rhombulus!" Moon snapped, abruptly trying to take control of the situation and steer Ford's attention away from the resting Queen of Darkness. "Release Bill Cipher from his crystal."

"Buh... what... Queen Moon!" he stammered, but she held up a hand to silence the crystal keeper.

"Based on the dramatic stories of your exploits you thrilled us all with on the way here..." Moon continued, a dry tone to her voice. "...surely it is within your power to prevent him from escaping and form a new, refreshed crystal around Bill, should the point of view espoused by the Magical High Commission be proven accurate?" Without waiting for him to answer, she continued with "Then, surely it will do no harm to release Bill Cipher for a short interrogation?"

Rhombulus seemed conflicted, as Ford had now shifted his attention to glare at the jailer, but Hekapoo offered him a short nod of confirmation. Trying to return to his confident posture, Rhombulus offered a quick "Yes, your majesty." before taking position in front of the crystal, able to feel Ford's gaze drill a hole in the back of his head. Moments later, the crystal was broken, and the imprisoned being collapsed to the floor, long bow legs collapsing on themselves when he landed.

Ford was on the prisoner in a moment, shoving Rhombulus out of the way with enough strength to surprise the Commission member. He swiftly began attending the prisoner, examining his one eye with a pocket light and feeling for any kind of pulse he could. "It's alright, you can relax. You are safe for the moment." Said Ford, a new sort of kind, calm tone to voice that none of the others present had ever heard before.

"Urrrr, what's happened? Where am I?" the being asked, a deep but dazed voice coming out of its stomach mouth. When its expression was allowed to move, the creature seemed much less aggressive, and its long limbs seemed to twitch uncontrollably in short bursts.

"You've... been asleep for awhile." Ford offered, sticking a set of six electrodes to the creature's head, then producing a handheld screen from his pocket that had six short cords coming off of it. "Now, I know this is probably not what you want to talk about right now, but I need you to tell me about Bill. It's vital we know what kind of hold he had on you."

Even with the alien physiology the creature had compared to mewmans and humans, it was obvious the mention of Bill had put panic into him. "I... Bill...BILL!" he shouted in panic, beginning to writhe a little as the reading on Ford's pocket EKG spiked, but a sudden moment of clarity seemed to hit the prisoner and he relaxed. "Bill... he's gone. He's... gone. I can't feel his mocking laughter in my head. This body..." It breathed out, while manually lifting one arm. As weak as the motion was, barely able to bring the limb off the floor, the stomach mouth writhed into a shape of joy at its success. "THIS BODY IS MINE AGAIN!"

The three Commission members watches this display with confusion and awe, though after a moment Hekapoo whispered to the others "Alright, come on, surely this is enough already?" in a tone that was meant to be disbelieving, but was cracked by genuine uncertainty. Queen Moon, in response, simply shushed her.

Ford, meanwhile, was doing his best to calm the creature in front of him, offering soothing words and reinforcement of his declarations of freedom. After a fairly short time though, he grimaced and put forward the difficult question. "Please, we need to know about Bill. What did he do to you?"

The creature seemed to shiver again, but took a deep gulp of breath and seemed to calm down. "Okay, Bill. Yes..." It seemed to compose itself. After several false starts, words retracted at the last moment, the prisoner finally began to tell their story. "Look, nobody ever said Johrain Magnemount was a nice guy, okay? I know I've done some things wrong over the years, but Bill... Bill Cipher is a monster."

"I was locked up inside the county jail of a mining colony in some backwater dimension, just trying to bring some chemical bliss to a bunch of dirt poor miners who never knew a smile their whole lives!" Johrain confessed, sounding unrepentant but moving along with the story quickly enough. "They had me in a perfectly spherical cell, 'cause, you know, I'm an angle rider. Studied under the masters of Tindalos to master the art of jumping between dimensions. I can travel anywhere, provided I have an angle to jump into and an angle to jump out of." he explained. "But of course, that left me with a bunch of student debt, so I took up smuggling in hopes of hitting a big jackpot to pay it all off."

"That night, in the jail cell, I knew they'd hang me, and probably drag it out for hours trying to do it right. So, I had a dream. A floating triangle with one big eye came to me, and told me there was a way out alive for me, I just had to... let him in, let him show me the way out." Johrain reminisced. "I... I thought it was just a dream, and it sounded like a pretty good deal, so I said yes. That's when the nightmare began."

Moon was now discreetly re-reading some of the MHC's documents on Bill, comparing the central figure of the Cipher wheel to the prisoner's description. "That was the beginning. When I awoke again it was like I wasn't awake, was still dreaming, but I could see what was happening. What he did. I could see the structure of the universe, with him behind my eye. The waves and sounds and radiation rolling through the hills, colors I couldn't imagine blinding my sight! I, he, escaped from my cell by jumping into the shift angle of my own heartbeat." Johrain explained, but as he spoke, otherworldly wonder was replaced with creeping terror.

"He... he killed people, more than just killed them, killed them horribly, made them suffer! It seemed like he was trying to build a syndicate, but I've seen bottom of the barrel extortionists with hair trigger tempers put together territory better than him. It was big, bleeding wound of a criminal empire that caught as much attention as possible and was primed to fall apart at moment's notice." The smuggler was stammering at this point. "I mean, I'd seen people die before, seen whackings and overdoses and even a portal accident at one point, but what he did... he did it and he enjoyed it! Every sickening second of it, he revealed in!"

By now, the freed prisoner was slowly winding his long arms around his short body in order to curl up into a ball. Even the Commission members looked troubled and unsure of themselves at this stage. "The last thing I remember, before now at least, was the wall of the hideout exploding, and Bill... Bill was laughing so, so loud, even as his... my body froze in place and everything went black." His story finished, the smuggler looked up at Ford with a haunted look in his eye. "What... what happened to me?"

Across the room, the three Commission members had a collection of troubled expressions, all debating on what to do next. Moon was the first to take action, quietly stepping up to Rhombulus and whispering to him "Stay behind and make sure you know who stays secure. We will discuss this further after the service tomorrow." before going over to Hekapoo and prompting her to step up and address Stanford, who was doing his best to comfort Bill's cast away host.

"Well Doctor Pines, it seems you were correct, there is much more going on here than the MHC was initially able to know." Moon greeted, and after a moment of silence, elbowed Hekapoo in the side, prompting her to add in "Yes, it seems you were right after all. I find it hard to believe a human from Earth could have set all this up as a deception, meaning you must be telling the truth."

"Your newfound confidence is flattering." Ford replied dryly while stepping up from Johrain, having gotten him down to a semi-calm state of mind. "Now that you appreciate the scale and intellect of the opponent we are facing, I trust I can expect greater cooperation in combating him?"

"Yes, I believe you can. It would still serve you best to send all your requests through Princess Star, but I am confident the majority of them will be met." Queen Moon responded. "Now, I believe our time here has served its purpose. Doctor Pines, as we walk, please, inform us more about this new enemy to the kingdom, Bill Cipher. Obviously our current intelligence on him is woefully outdated."

"What about him?" Ford asked, pointing back to the curled up Johrain Magnemount.

With a tone that was both reassuring but dismissive, Queen Moon stated that "Despite his pre-possession indiscretions, I will ensure this smuggler receives the finest available Mewman psychology. He'll be taken care of, I assure you."

Ford could only nod gruffly at this. _"At least they're not putting him back in the crystal." _He thought to himself. "Very good. Now, I'd like to be returned to my students. It's obvious we have a great deal of work ahead of us."

"Yes, I think we do." Moon replied, as she and Hekapoo began to make their way to the exit, Ford storming out ahead of them. "A Queen's most important duty is to shield the kingdom against threats." she remarked, while glancing backwards at a very important crystal. Even though she was farther away now, it almost looked like the spiderline cracks had gotten bigger...

**_Author's Notes_**

_And now we can get into the character work, one of the big things that motivated me to take my story in this direction. The casts of these two shows just seemed really compatible to me, but even I was surprised by how easily and naturally writing a lot of this came. Star and Pacifica's friendship in particular flowed very naturally while I was writing it, and in the next few chapters we'll see how she gets along with Dipper, who as we'll see has a few similarities to Star's lost love interest. __Oh, and the MHC bickering with Ford while Moon sits in the middle was also a ton of fun to write._

_On another note, while the first chapter offered hinted at it, I'll be upfront about it here: This story is going to get dark in some places. There's going to be some rough themes explored, some pretty explicit violence and, further down the road, some steamy romantic relationships with plenty of teenage bad decision making. I hope these elements enrich the story rather than distract from it, and would love to hear your thoughts on them, positive or negative._


	3. Rest In Pudding Part 1

Night had fallen over the Kingdom of Mewni, and Princess Star Butterfly had returned to her chambers after seeing her guests off to their renovated bedroom, where they had found the older Pines already returned from his meeting with the Commission. It was something of an early night for the princess, but she needed to attend Lekmet's funeral service tomorrow, and even someone as carefree as Star knew to take such an event seriously.

_"That was the most fun I've had over a cornshake since, well, since Marco was here." _Star thought to herself as she placed her toothpaste upon a waiting toothbrush. _"Pacifica really seems like she gets it when I say being a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be... and Dipper..." _she thought idly, trying to sort out her new thoughts while a faint, barely noticeable shade of pink spread out from her cheek hearts, unnoticed even when Star was looking in the mirror. _"He's a good listener, careful, an organized planner, and he has that sort of endearing awkwardness about him." _she thought to herself, almost against her will, while brushing her teeth and bending her neck down to rinse.

Any reflection on the ideas that were crossing her mind was cut short when Star's blond head rose up from the sink, and the pink on her cheeks drained white from surprise. She shrieked and jumped backwards in shock as the haunted gaze of her dead mentor, Sir Glossaryck of Terms, stared back from the reflection.

* * *

On the other side of the castle, the crew from Earth were talking about the dead rather than seeing them. When the three had reunited, they quickly shared what they'd been up to during the group's split up over the day, and after everyone was filled in on everyone else, began planning tomorrow's trip to the scene of the crime.

"I was able to talk to Star about that while she, myself and Pacifica were at the shake shop." Dipper explained. "She can't go with us on the trip, but she did arrange a military escort to drive us to the ambush location by carriage. Something about a funeral for a Magical High Commission member."

"Somehow it doesn't surprise me they've sustained casualties." Ford remarked dryly while pacing around the map of Mewni they were planning the operation with. After a long moment of thought, he spoke up. "Dipper, Pacifica, I'd like you two to stay here in the castle during the trip tomorrow. I will investigate the killing ground alone."

Both teenagers seemed surprised by this announcement, and Dipper was the first to object. "Grunkle Ford, please reconsider!" He asked. "Bill or his pawns could still be lurking around that location, what if they have a base there!? You can't just go in alone to that."

"That's precisely why I have to Dipper. My first responsibility on this trip is to keep you both safe, and I won't drag you into the firing line no matter how risky it makes things for me." He explained, before elaborating "Besides, I would need one of you to stay here in the castle anyways. The interceptors will need checking and in general, we need a trustworthy pair of eyes and ears around here at all times. Secretive, political halls like this are the kind of environment Bill can thrive in."

"Doctor Pines, let me come with you then." Pacifica spoke up, drawing a look of surprise and concern from the younger man in the room. "I'm sure Dipper can take care of everything here by himself, but it's actually crazy for you to go into the field like that with no one to guard you except Mewni's Finest." she explained with a harsh tone of voice. "I appreciate you wanting to keep us safe Doctor Pines, but if we're working as a team then me and Dipper have to keep you as safe as you keep us."

Then, with a softening tone, she further explained "If things go too wrong, I'll use the fast return switch to go back to the Shack." while feeling around for the object in her pocket subconsciously. The inconspicuous little white disks that flipped open to reveal a small finger switch were the group's lifeline to Earth. Small, powerful devices able to activate a basic subroutine in the portal machine even across dimensions, causing it to lock onto the switch's current location and transport everything in a small radius back. A basic safety tool that each human carried a dozen of. "From there, based on what you've shown me, I can activate the portal, lock onto the castle here and portal back in, letting Dipper know what has happened and getting you rescued faster."

Ford seemed to be actively swayed by Pacifica's words, but still held visible doubt. "Dipper?" he asked, turning to his great nephew in search of genuine input on Pacifica's proposal.

Rather than answer his great uncle right away however, Dipper turned to the girl in the room, a conflicted look on his face. "Pacifica, let me go with Grunkle Ford instead. I have full faith you can handle everything that needs doing here at the castle." he suggested.

"Dipper, this trip could turn dangerous. It will be safer if you stay here in the capital." Pacifica replied, her voice full of concern for the boy in front of her.

"Pacifica, I want you to be safe. I'm serious, I'll go instead." The young man answered firmly.

"Well, maybe I want YOU to be safe as well, what about that dork?" The blond responded, getting more combative in tone now.

Dipper looked touched by this sentiment, but still struggled with how to respond. With a conflicted look on his face, her turned towards his mentor for advice. "Grunkle Ford?"

The old scientist was deep in thought at this point, and took minute to respond to Dipper. "It's entirely possible..." he eventually began to say, revelation and uncertainty to his voice. "...that the true danger actually lurks in the castle, and this attack on the field is a diversion, or an inciting act. Therefore, I believe we need to split our forces equally."

"Our two strongest assets in direct combat against Bill are my decades of experince fighting against him, and the aid of Princess Star Butterfly and her magic wand." Ford spoke, his voice expressing no ego at the mention of his abilities, simply practical analysis. Dipper and Pacifica looked surprised he was suddenly counting the Princess of Mewni as an asset. "However, I suspect she may be vulnerable to Bill's manipulation. That's why Dipper will stay here in the castle."

The young man look surprised at this, but Ford put a warm hand on his shoulder and gave him a look beaming with pride. "Dipper, at this point in time, no one is more wise to Bill's tricks and mind games than you, except potentially Stanley, and to be frank, I don't think we could involve him here without creating a diplomatic incident." By now, Dipper was looking up at his mentor with warm, appreciative eyes. "I'm sure you can keep him from sinking his roots in here at the castle."

Dipper looked incredibly determined and confident as he accepted his assignment with a look of pride on his face, but after a moment turned his head towards Pacifica. "As long as Paz is still willing to take the field with you?" He asked, a flicker of uncertainty to his tone.

"It's no problem Dipper, as usual, Doctor Pines has an excellent plan." She confirmed, before grinning a little and adding playfully that "Besides, if you're going to be babysitting Star while you're here you're probably in more danger than I am."

Dipper laughed at Pacifica's joke before turning back to Ford. "Okay, I suppose we're settled then. Anything else we need to plan out Great Uncle Ford?"

"For the moment, no." He explained, shifting away from the room center table. "With our general plan of action laid out, we can pack the specifics in the morning. For now, I think it's best we all try and get a good night's rest. We're going to need those wherever we can get them."

While Ford explained all of this, he went about hanging up a few extra dream interceptors around the room, just to be sure.

When morning came the next day, the team of humans found themselves up and at work right away. They had only just finished packing everything that would be needed for the expedition when a butler knocked upon the door, informing them that Princess Butterfly is offering to see them off over breakfast.

It was an offer Ford had refused however, requesting to be taken to their carriage as soon as possible so as to not let the trail grow any colder, and privately, inside his mind, wanting to avoid any further interaction with the Queen or the MHC, planning to eat packed food from Earth during the ride for breakfast. The tall, thin and quiet Mewman butler had curtly yielded to the request, and now Dipper stood in a small, quiet courtyard, seeing his two compatriots off as they strode up to their military escort.

The escort in question consisted of a tall, borderline stereotypical armored Mewman male, looking resplendent in his finely polished plate and noble features. Inwardly, Ford scoffed at the sight, musing that these champions of the kingdom were far less inspiring looking when their steel was soaked in the blood of children.

If the warrior noticed Ford's facial expression of contempt, he didn't react to it, but Pacifica spotted right away that the other soldier who would be guarding them certainly did. Short, female, ruddy red hair and outfitted with significantly less armor as well as a smaller weapon than the taller knight, probably some kind of squire. Despite a superficial attempt to appear stalwart and professional, Pacifica could tell she was regarding her charges with a glare, speaking to frustration at having to mind them and... perhaps a deeper seated contempt?

Pacifica wouldn't be surprised if Doctor Pines didn't pick up the social cues coming off the red head, but for the trained socialite she was an open book with an oversized font. _"Something is up with this mission. Either it's going to be riskier than we were told, or maybe... or does she have a political motive?"_

After a few more seconds spent analyzing the red head, Pacifica had one more passing thought. _"Or, she might just be one of those types whose always upset."_

"Verily and good day, students of magic. My name is Sir Stabby, and this is my squire Higgs. We will be serving as your bodyguards during this expedition. Your carriage is right over here. I will be ridding outside, to keep a stout and watchful eye for any danger while directing the vehicle, while Higgs will join you in the compartment. Do not hesitate to ask her for anything you need." The commanding knight explained in sort order, before turning about to conduct a final check, clapping his hands twice to motion Higgs to join him. "We can leave whenever you are ready."

Left alone together now, the three humans huddled up for one more conversation before splitting up. "Are you guys sure about this? I'm still up to go with you on this mission." Dipper spoke up.

"I appreciate your willingness to go, Dipper, but it is vital someone keeps an eye on the castle." Ford replied with sincerity, putting a reassuring hand on Dipper's shoulder. "As vital as this fact finding mission seems to be, we can't ignore the possibility it could just be a diversion by Bill."

"We'll be fine Dipper, I'm confident Doctor Pines will keep me safe." Pacifica added, taking a step closer to the boy. "Keep yourself safe, okay?" she asked with a soft tone of voice. The two were uncomfortably close for a moment, both feeling like there was something they should do but unable to put a finger on it, and soon enough, Pacifica was walking away, making her way into the carriage alongside Ford.

Dipper stood alone and waved them off as the horse drawn carriage left the castle, trying to steady his worries before heading off for the dinning hall. A short breakfast with the princess and he'd be able to bury his troubling emotions by working on the dream interceptors.

Settling down to the long table in the increasingly familiar dining hall, Dipper was chewing on a slice of corn pancake when the princess burst into the room, moving with a frantic energy and seemingly dressed halfway between pajamas and a fancy, ceremonial outfit.

"Oh, hey Dipper, sorry can't join you for breakfast getting dolled up for the service took longer than I thought and I overslept how are you?" She spoke with a run on tone, obviously in a hurry and grabbing random pieces of food off the table but not stuffing any of them in her face. Despite her high energy, Star had a noticeable look of sleeplessness about her eyes.

Not exactly unfamiliar with the sight of an energetic girl storming into a breakfast setting and making a mess, Dipper simply gave the princess a small smile and continued to carefully chew his food. "Good morning Star. Don't worry about it, anything pressing we can talk about later today. After I get done sampling all the interceptors I'll be in my quarters all day analyzing the results."

Star at this point ducked and weaved around his chair, collecting her last scrap of food. Upon the plate she'd walked in with was a single pancake, and a smattering of fruits and a toast slice sat on top of it. With deceptive strength, the princess folded the pancake over itself, smashing the fruit and bread to a fine paste inbetween the two sides of the pancake. While a small amount oozed out, the end result was an easy to carry, deep packed chunk of food.

Hardly a stranger to creative culinary concoctions, Dipper gave her a genuine thumbs up in place of a verbal compliment, since he was chewing at the time. When he finally could speak without choking himself, he added "Looks good."

"It tastes good too!" Star replied, small drops of fruit flavored spittle coming out as she spoke with her mouth full. "Okay Dipper, I'll see you in the afternoon!" She announced before bounding away, improvised breakfast in hand.

"Star, you really shouldn't run and chew! You'll choke on it!" The boy ended up calling vainly after her.

Already a good distance away, Ford and Pacifica were removing their own breakfasts from plastic bags as the carriage rattled down the roads. The red headed squire simply sat across from them, minding them with a critical eye.

"So, you're from that earth place, right?" Higgs finally asked cautiously, unable to restrain herself any longer.

"Yes, we are, first time visitors to Mewni actually. You however, speak as though you are familiar with our dimension, do you mind if I ask how that might be?" Ford replied quickly enough, focusing his ruthlessly inquisitive eyes on the squire, enough to make her figit a little.

"Well, I've never been there myself, my dimensional travel mostly consists of Quest Buy supply runs, but you're not the first visitors from Earth that Mewni has had the honor of hosting." Higgs explained, disdainful sarcasm leaking into voice despite her attempts to hide it.

Pacifica raised an eyebrow at this and went on the offensive. "Really? I was under the impression our group was the first to have traveled from Earth to Mewni. Can you tell us more about these visitors?"

Higgs looked like answering the question was the last thing in the world she wants to do, but after a moment of remembering his knight's orders to provide the humans with whatever they wanted, she responded. "Just some nobody from Earth who got dragged into the recent invasion by the princess, named Marco something-or-other. He spent the entire battle running around in the sewers while we, the members of the grand army of Mewman Knights... uh, protected civilians and secured the evacuation routes from the city." Then, crossing her arms with a fussy expression, she complained that "Somehow he gets all the credit leftover after the princess' lightshow..."

The red head's confident exposition had abruptly taken an uncertain tone as she detailed her own role in the battle, and this engendered a great deal of uncertainty from the two humans. They exchanged a meaningful look while Higgs' head was turned away, with Pacifica giving the older man a nod that indicated she shared his suspicions.

"Well, I'm confident Mewni's Knights conducted themselves against the monster hordes with all the heroism and nobility befitting their great legacy." Ford replied, sarcasm so withering it could case a flower in a vase to curl up and die. Both of them had the feeling that the squire wouldn't be able to provide any further information, and as such resumed eating their breakfast in silence.

* * *

It was later in the day now, and Dipper was fluttering about his refurbished quarters, carefully prepping and organizing the morning condensation he'd collected from the dream interceptors, knowing a mishandling could potentially give Bill Cipher an advantage. The process to make them readable consisted of mixing a small amount of bright powder into a test tube's worth of liquid, then heat the sealed container over a fire for a short amount of time. It was simple, but focus demanding work.

As a result of this, Dipper was taken by surprise when Star threw the door to the room open, causing the boy from Earth to startle in place and drop the test tube he was carrying. Quick as a flash though, Star readied her wand and cast a spell of levitation on the glass container, causing it to reverse path an inch from the floor and gently float towards the ceiling instead of smashing and spilling.

Dipper looked at the floating container with a boggle eyed expression of shock, before exhaling the sharp interior pressure he'd built up when it slid past his fingers with a deep sigh of relief, carefully putting it back with the other test tubes in an organized row. When he looked over at the princess, she was sporting a sheepish grin.

"Good save there Star." Dipper spoke up, genuinely grateful. "These are the samples from the dream interceptors we hung up yesterday. If Bill is up to something, this is how we'll figure him out. Sorry I almost dropped it."

The blond princess seemed confused by the boy's compliment however. "But, I almost caused you to drop it by barging in though? I should be apologizing to you!" she said self-deprecatingly.

"No, no, don't worry, it was my fault." Dipper replied reassuringly while turning off the portable bunsen burner he was using and pushing the experiment off to the side. "You told me what time I could expect you to come around, and I let myself get distracted organizing all the samples and got startled. Don't worry about it." Then, he took a seat on a rather comfortable purple velvet chair and leveled his gaze at Star. "So, how did the service go?"

At mention of the service, Star became both apprehensive and embarrassed, and a few lines seemed to form on her face. "I... nearly drowned in a punch bowl." she admitted.

Dipper looked at her with a nonplussed but still quizzical expression. "Oh." he said, for lack of anything better to say. "...Is that some kind of Mewman thing, or, uh...?"

"No, it's not." Star remarked, a little bit amused by Dipper's uncertainty, but that expression didn't last long. "Something... scary happened, has been happening, and I was hoping you might know." she explained, trepidation in her voice before the princess swallowed and admitted "I've been seeing a dead person in every reflection."

Dipper didn't comment right away, instead giving the princess a look of concerned sympathy, which she found herself appreciating. "Well, have a seat and explain as much as you can, I'll do what I can to help." While directing her to do this, Dipper produced his notepad and a pen from inside his various pockets without needing to look.

"Okay, well, once upon a time, I had a magic teacher, who was tied to a spell book. His name was Sir Glossaryck of Terms, and he was the master and guardian of the collective, inscribed wisdom of all of Mewni's past queens." Star began to explain, a reverent tone to her voice until she more casually elaborated that "He was a little guy, blue, floated everywhere. Had a jewel in his forehead."

"I see..." Dipper remarked while narrowing his eyes at the notes he had taken. "Were you two close?" he asked carefully.

"He was kind of a jerk, if I'm being honest." Star admitted on impulse, before seeming to regret her words slightly. "But he was, well, a teacher, an okay one I guess. He acted like he didn't have emotions and did actively betray me once, but then, when I was dead and we were sitting around a pot of soup he helped me come back to life and beat Toffee because he helped me realize, I was a... uh... huh..."

Star had begun to ramble a bit as her conflicting emotions about her old teacher spilled out of her in a steady stream, the young princess being unable to figure out what she actually felt or wanted to say, only for the entire tangent to end when she was washed over with the kind of feeling that comes from getting an answer that created three new questions. Star spent a long moment peering at Dipper, really looking at him, as the boy from Earth tried to quickly scribble down everything Star had said, before finishing, looking up, and feeling a bit awkward in her gaze.

Eager to get the conversation going again, Dipper began to brainstorm. "So, this Glossaryck, was he a powerful magic user? Did he express any fear or defiance as he died? Any last second spells cast with his dying breath?"

Star frowned as she thought back about her mentor. "I... I was never really clear on what he could or couldn't do with magic, to be honest. He always seemed like he knew everything about everything at least, but he was always so secretive about it! He'd never tell me anything straightforward and packed all his lessons in stupid riddles and tricks, even though he knew I wasn't good at figuring that kind of stuff out, like when he almost let my diary get read just to make a point!"

The frustration that the princess had and the long amount of time it had been buried were overwhelmingly clear as it bubbled to the surface, causing Dipper to stop writing for a moment and offer her an incredibly sympathetic look. "Star..." he said with a reaffirming tone. "...Don't be so hard on yourself." he offered, causing her to look up him with a wondering.

"Look, if I'm being honest with you, I might not have been there for it, but based on the way you feel about him, I think you had a bad teacher." Dipper offered. Then, he spoke from experience. "Trying to figure out magic, this strange, otherworldly force that breaks all natural laws and can be manipulated like you're playing an instrument, is a strange and scary process. It requires emotional maturity and mental confidence just as much as it requires intellectual understanding. Magic will change your life, change who you are as a person. It's not a change you should go through with someone you don't trust."

Star was enraptured by Dipper's words, watching him with wide, shiny eyes as she thought back, remembering when magic had changed her. Her first transformation, that strange, sickly purple haze she descended into, which caused her emotions to burn so hot they hurt, like her blood was boiling and a living thing was crawling around in her guts. The terrible things she had done, had wanted to do in that state, had they come from inside her after all? As much as Star wanted to blame the strange energies leaking into her from the cosmos for the monstrous, shameful thoughts that had driven her six armed body, the lingering impulses, the nagging guilt telling her that it was all her, refused to leave Star's mind. And that was just the first time she had changed, which everyone had been infuriatingly quick to dismiss as a natural thing she shouldn't think about.

_"I needed answers! Not to just move onto the next lesson in being a perfect princess!" _Star shook with anger as she thought about this subject once again. _"I need to know that those thoughts weren't me! That the magic put them their instead of just... unearthing them, from beneath my twisted depths. I need to know that I'm not a monster." _With a sigh, Star felt the regret and shame bubble back into her body. _"That wasn't even the golden change..."_

_"I felt like the hand of an angry god." _Star whispered inside her skull while remembering the recent battle against Toffee. _"I felt so good, so strong, and I did want to destroy Toffee more than anything... but it was wrong somehow. Like I'd been force fed the greatest meal in existence, chained to a chair and made to enjoy. The power flowed so easily, everyone looked so small."_

Against her own will, Star's mind began to trail back to that place, the golden light dragging her brain towards it like it had its own gravitational field. The thought she had had during that sequence, feeling like she was sitting outside her body and watching the vacantly grinning deity cast down judgement, rolled into her mind's eye. The golden light of rage had blinded her, just like the purple mist of lust.

_"I am the wrath of magic, the killer cell of the multiverse, the unicorn's rage and bringer of wet socks. I am the glue of creation, the blind singer at the center of the cosmos I am the lightning bolt of Mewni crashing down upon the monster hoards I inform the burritos when they shall die I am the rage of queens the vengeance of blood from beyond the grave IamdeathIamhungerIamlusttoffeetoffee TOFFEETOFFEETOFFEETOFFEEYOUSHALLNEVERREACHTHETRUTH!"_

_"Magic changed who I was and what I felt." _Star thought to herself, fighting by to her conscious self through the clarity of realization. _"And no one seemed to care, they hailed me as a hero when I felt like a ghost. No one cared about how it made me feel... No one but Marco."_

Dipper had been letting Star struggle through her feelings, displaying more understanding by simply watching her expression shift and responding appropriately then he could just with words. When she finally settled down to a state where he didn't feel like he was interrupting simply by breathing, Dipper took the opportunity to try and connect with her.

"I couldn't imagine a world where I tried to follow my studies with a version of Grunkle Ford that I felt like I couldn't trust, or who used my lack of knowledge to pick on me." Dipper spoke up. Star was both sympathetic to the traces of pain she could hear in his tone, and unconsciously envious of the obvious, overwhelming admiration and respect he had for his mentor, Star wishing that she had been taught by someone so great as to inspire her in that way.

Stopping for a moment, Dipper's faced seemed to quiver with a buried pain and he seemed on the verge of swallowing his words, but he continued none the less. "You... you can't accept magic from people or sources you can't trust. Not power, not items, not... not knowledge. The damage something can do to you, when they're your eyes to this world but lie to you about what they see..." He stopped for a moment, thinking back to his own memories as well stories passed to him by Grunkle Ford. "If your magic teacher, someone who is so close that they can literally reach in and touch your soul, isn't someone you trust absolutely, they'll turn you into their puppet."

_"He preyed on me." _Dipper thought to himself inside his mind, unable to fight back the feelings and the memories as he discussed her experiences with Star. _"I was tired and angry and just wanted someone to help me for once, and he preyed on my needs and stole my body, abused it and would have left me for dead." _The boy closed his eyes from a moment while old wounds echoed across his face. _"For just a moment, I thought I found someone who understood, who wouldn't just ignore or demean what I wanted for once, who was offering me a break in exchange for a worthless sock puppet. I was a fool."_

Star suddenly felt uncomfortable, like Dipper had unwittingly exposed a very personal, very sore from injury section of his personality to her. His body language had changed as he talked, and by the end of his explanation Star was no longer looking at a young man growing towards a bright future, muscles beginning to develop and a face that shown with ever calculating intelligence and ambition. She was looking at a curled up child, who'd been wounded and abandoned just like she had been, long before he met his wonderful mentor.

The two just sat in silence for a moment, but in that moment, they finally looked up from their withdrawn states and made eye contact, and both of them understood the other. Both of them had, at one point, lost themselves to something strange and eldritch, and both carried the wound on their souls to this day.

This sharing of confidence did seem to strengthen Dipper though, or at least give him the motivation to push it down for the moment. He quickly regained his confident, learned stature, brought his pen back to his notepad, and was asking Star another question, albeit with reserve and a gentle tone of voice now.

"So while I understand it might be hard to talk about him, I need to know if I'm going to help you: Do you think Glossaryck would try and return himself to life?" Dipper asked firmly, resolving to help Star through whatever this problem truly was.

Star was quiet for a few minutes, really thinking this over. She tended to stare at her feet or to the side in this state, blond hair flowing down to create a visual barrier between her face and Dipper's. When she finally spoke up, it was with a weary, somewhat resigned tone of voice.

"No, I don't think so." Star admitted, sinking into her chair a little. "He didn't care about anything or anyone, and certainly not me. Only about the job. I think he only helped me out at the end because we were both dead and he wanted me gone." Then, with her eyebrows knitting in confusion, she looked at Dipper. "But, if it's not him, what else could it be?"

Scribbling down a long list of topics he would need to ask Star about later, Dipper took in her confession of feelings. Keeping his eyes on the notepad for a moment, he soon looked up at her with a hard expression to his eyes.

"Bill."

Star's eyes widened as Dipper's got narrow. "But, I though you said the dream thingies protect us from Bill?" she asked, a tone of worry getting into her voice.

"Yes, but it's hardly out of character for him to figure out a way around our defenses, especially with all the magic he has to work with in this dimension..." Dipper mumbled, deep in thought as his hat shadowed over his eyes, gears beginning to spin in overtime. "Does anyone else know about your relationship with Glossaryck?"

"Mom, dad, the Magical High Commission, Marco, actually the whole Kingdom knows about the book getting burned and that's what killed him but I don't actually know how much they know about him..."

"Star?" Dipper asked gently, interrupting her partially automatic list off of relevant people. "Whose Marco?"

The princess was stopped in her tracks by the question, words dying in her throat as her face heated up and her heart bottomed out, a lonely ache setting in again. She knew she couldn't dodge this question, but on some level, she didn't want to. Dipper was trying to help her and she felt very comfortable around him, it couldn't hurt to talk about Marco with him, could it?

"Marco is... was... I mean, he's not dead or anything, I just don't see him anymore... he was my guide when I went to Earth for awhile, I lived in his house with his family." she explained, building up a small stutter as she spoke. "He went on all my adventures with me, and helped me get through all the hard times. I don't think I'd have learned nearly as much as I did from Earth if I wasn't guided through it by him."

Dipper took in everything Star said, regarding her a little strangely as she lit up and began to stammer, but stayed focused on the vital task at hand. "And he's a normal human, right? No magical defenses?"

"I mean, he's really good at karate, but otherwise no."

With a grimace, Dipper responded "Then we need to be mindful of the possibility he's our leak. Not intentionally of course, but Bill can learn a lot about people just by watching their dreams, and even with all our research we're still not entirely sure how his powers work or what his limits are." while tapping his pen against his chin and eyeing his notes. Looking up, he asked Star "Is there a way I could talk to Marco?"

"NO!" Star responded impulsively, clearly agitated now. She quickly tried to compose herself when she saw Dipper had startled unexpectedly in response to her shouting. The princess felt her heart pound as familiar, buried hurt rung around her chest. _"No, I can't go back, I can't do this again, I need to get Marco out of my life and stop feeling these feelings about him! _

"I'm sorry, what I mean, is, uh..." Star struggled, trying to bring up a definitive excuse. "...I don't want anyone from Earth being involved in this. You're trying to protect Earth from Bill Cipher, right? Well so am I! I won't make anyone from that dimension into a target!"

"You make a good point." Dipper stated to Star's relief, his voice and expression all business now. "Given that you mentioned dozens of sources he could have learned about this from, visiting Marco would only put him in unnecessary danger on a very thin chance of success. Forget I mentioned him."

_"Gladly." _Star thought to herself, sinking into her chair. However, the thought of her painful crush continued to invade the princess' head, and so in an active effort to put her mind elsewhere, she put all her focus on Dipper, meticulously studying every twitch of his body and wondering what particular spin of the mental gears it matched to.

"It's possible..." Dipper said slowly, constructing his theory on the fly as he spoke. "...That Bill is targeting you with an illusion of Glossaryck, designed to weaken your resolve, fill you with guilt, and disrupt your sleep patterns, all of which are conditions that make one vulnerable to him." He spoke from experience. "Tell me, if you were given the opportunity to try and revive Glossaryck, but you'd have to sacrifice something important or do something dangerous, would you do it?"

Star thought about it for a moment, before answering. "Yes, I think I would, provided it wasn't something crazy like ritualistically sacrificing peasants." With a look of guilt, she hung her head and added "I'd feel obligated to, as much as I didn't like him. It's my fault he's dead."

"Don't beat yourself up over that Star, that's how Bill will get you." Dipper cautioned, then in a more reassuring tone added "The mistakes of the past should stay in the past. That way, we can study them from an objective distance to do better, but not let them control our every waking action and make us illogical with guilt."

"Thank you Dipper." Star replied, a smile getting on her face. She was feeling familiar determination coming over her, taking her out of her funk and into battle. "So, how do shut Bill Cipher down on this?"

"I have an idea on how to do that, as a matter of fact." Dipper answered, getting a conspiratorial smirk on his face as well, finding Star's eagerness for battle infectious. "Is your wand capable of tuning arcane radiation into specialized frequency and wavelength magnetic waves?"

Confidence drained from Star's face as Dipper's question froze her completely in her tracks. Some of those words were things she'd heard on Earth, but she didn't understand what they meant then and they meant even less to her now. She spent so long trying to pick her way through the sentence that her cheek hearts turned into spinning hourglasses and Dipper had to snap her out of it.

"Star, hey, Star!" He spoke up. "I'm sorry for getting all technical on you, but in short I think we can make up a spell that will shield you from Bill."

"OH!" Star responded, perking up instantly. "Why didn't you just say so!?"

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, but stayed patient and considered Grunkle Ford's description of Mewni. "Star, do you know what magic, well, is?"

"I mean, well, duh I know what magic is, I use it all the time!" Star replied playfully, but Dipper kept looking at her with something of a frown.

"But what is it, actually? Like what is magic made of, how does it work? What makes specific spells different from each other, and where does it all come from?" Dipper asked, not looking for answers for himself, but to spark Star's train of thought. He reached down and slapped the chair he was sitting on, the sound of solid impact ringing out, and he ignored the throbbing in his hand to continue the lecture. "You conjured all the decorations in this room out of magic, but are they still magic now? This chair, after all, is solid matter now. You cast the spell over a day ago and everything is still here, you can't make it all vanish by refusing to think they exist, like an illusion."

Star's mind ran a mile a minute, trying to dig up answers to Dipper's questions and finding that she lacked them. As he pontificated about the nature of the furniture they were sitting on, Star looked down at her wand, giving it a long, contemplative look. _"After all the trouble you and me have been through, how much I've worked to guard you, I really don't know how you work, do I?"_

"Okay, well, what is magic then?" Star finally asked, genuinely curious and wondering where Dipper was going with this.

"Well, we haven't solidified a complete theory yet, but there are a few facts that all our observations and experiments seems to support." Dipper began, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck but gradually getting into his explanation. "Magic is, a sort of energy, an alternative energy! Instead of coming from burning stars and being captured by plants, magic flows from across the multiverse, like there was a great big burning star at the center of all dimensions and can freely react to electrical impulses in the human brain, including two way conversion to matter!" Dipper explained excitedly, then remembered who he was talking to. "I mean, present company not included, obviously."

"But, that's not what the stars are." Star replied, after having giggled a little at Dipper's use of her name so many times. "The stars in the sky are great chunks of ice. That's why it gets cold at night, when they phase back into our dimension and counteract the heat and light that comes out of the ground from the Underworld." She explained, like it was the most basic thing in the world. "Duh. Why else would Mom name me Star? She had hoped I'd inherit her cool headed attitude."

Dipper was slumped into his chair after that explanation, face gobsmacked with incredulity like Star had whipped out a gun in the middle of their conversation and shot him. He was quiet for almost a minute, making no noise except for a vague gurgling from his throat as he tried to settle on a response.

Star meanwhile just watched him with a playfully smug expression. "Well, looks like this little princess is a lot smarter than you first thought, ain't she?"

"...Star?"

"Yes Dipper?"

"That... you... not a single word you just said, in that specific arrangement of vowels and consonants, not a single idea you just posited in that verbal delivery information..." Dipper seemed to be struggling with himself, trying emphasize his message as hard as possible, to a degree that was giving him trouble.

He abruptly ended his struggle by getting up and walking to the window, throwing his arms at the grand vista beyond the glass. "Look at the world out there! And the horizon, and the curvature of the planet that the horizon suggests! Look at its curvature! You don't need the portal's scanners to determine this is a heliocentric universe you inhabit!" Turning back to the princess, he added on "Do the well documented movements of the sun mean nothing to you people!?"

"Why would we care about the movements of the sun?" Star asked dismissively. "That's just a big ball of poop that gets rolled around the sky everyday by ladybugs."

Dipper's right eye was actively twitching as, to his utter disbelief, the princess managed to find an even lower depth of ignorance to sink to in this conversation. Star suddenly felt glad he wasn't holding a pen or a fork or something else pointy since the boy seemed like he might explode at any moment. Instead, with the frustration quite clearly bubbling under every word, he simply asked "How was this castle even built in the first place?" His bafflement that Mewmans didn't live caves was incredibly obvious.

Star was really quiet and took a long moment before answering "...maaaaaaagic?" while holding up her wand like it was a piece of defining evidence.

The boy from Earth gave a resigned sigh, boiling tension seeming to fade from his body as he took a series of steady, deep breaths to steady himself. "Of course, magic. Right, well, I had a more complete explanation of how magic works prepared, but I can tell I'm going to need to dumb it down a lot if we want to resolve your problem with Glossaryck some time this month."

"Hey, are you calling me stupid or something!?" Star angrily demanded on impulse, before she blinked with realization and asked, in a softer but more surprised voice "Wait, you're still going to help me with that?"

With a sigh, Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose and admitted "No, you're not stupid Star, just ignorant." Then, with a softening expression and voice, explained that "Of course I'm going to help you Star. No one deserves to be tormented by Bill like this, and certainly not you. I think we can jury rig a way to block him out, but I'll need you to listen to me very carefully." Then, with a nervous but apologetic smile, he added "I'm sorry about blowing up there, you just... caught me by surprise, that's all."

Though Star was feeling a mix of emotions at Dipper right now, relief that he was still going to help her ultimately won out. "Okay, lay your crazy curvy Mewni spell strategy on me!"

Letting out a sigh, Dipper began his explanation, editing it down on the fly. "Okay, so, imagine, a, uh... a rainbow! Like the one you created when you first met us out in that field!" When Star nodded in understanding, Dipper seized on the metaphor. "Well, you know how a rainbow is a beam of colors traveling through the visual air? Well, what Bill is doing is similar, it's like he's using an illusion to throw a Glossaryck shaped rainbow directly at your eyes, probably using reflections as a conduit through the mirror world."

"Wait, there's a mirror world?" Star asked suddenly, distracted now.

"Yeah, some of our research suggests there's a dimension connected to every reflective surface in all realities. Dimensional nexus, very uninhabitable. We hypothesize. Stay on topic Star."

"Sorry."

"No problem. Now, since this projection is also magic, think of it as being a little more... ugh, solid than a rainbow." Dipper explained. Inwardly he grimaced at how wrong that explanation of energy waves was, but knew that building this spell was more important than delivering an extensive education to the princess on earth physics. "Like how when a fire ray and frost beam hit each other, they cancel out! If we can figure out the exact tuning of Bill's projection on you, you can generate an opposing wavelength from your wand and cancel it out!"

Star had to sit and think it over for a minute, cheek marks turning to hourglasses as she mulled it over, but eventually his spell blast metaphor let her understand what he was proposing, and she grinned at the boy. "So, how do we, uh, 'tune' the counterspell to make it work?"

Dipper felt a small welling of pride inside as Star seemed to get the general idea. At the back of his mind, it reminded him of his many experiences helping Mabel with her homework. "That, unfortunately, is simply going to be a matter of trial and error. Do you have the rest of the afternoon free to try this out? I already have the psychic reader equipment here that can let us get started, and can go get the rest easily enough."

Star meanwhile was feeling a sort of comfortable nostalgia setting on her as she prepared to spend all afternoon trying to sort out a magic problem alongside a friendly boy from earth. "I'm ready if you are. Let's get the magic flowing!"

* * *

Far across the land and awhile later, Ford and Pacifica were scrounging about the ambush site as the sky began to turn orange, their carriage and military escort told to stay behind a short distance away, hidden among some trees. The older scientist was sweeping the ground with a telescopic metal detector while Pacifica checked for tracks.

Finally, the scanning device let out a positive hit chime, causing Ford to set it aside and scrounge on the ground for a moment, quickly fishing a spent casing out of the grass. "Right where we thought it would be. Pacifica, any luck so far?"

"Well, someone was certainly here, they walked over to the fallen knights at some point, but I'm not sure where they came from or went." She explained, running a magnifying glass over a section of land closer to the dirt road the dead had collapsed to. "Still, these footprints will hopefully make a good comparison."

"Very good." Ford complimented distractedly, as he was digging around his coat pockets for one of the extracted bullets he'd brought with him, hoping to see if the two components matched. This redirected attention caused him to miss the activity coming from the casing.

The small piece of earth made metal began to rattle slightly between Ford's fingers, and a small droplet of hissing green liquid leaked out the open hole where the bullet once slotted. As Ford's eyes were focused downwards, a small beetle with gnarly, serrated pincers emerged from its little home, green gunk leaking from it and a black exoskeleton covering the body.

The insect struck quickly, wings flaring up from its armored shell to charge towards Ford's eyes, but luckily he turned his attention back to the sample just in time, having found the bullet, resulting in the angry insect slamming into the flat lenses of his glasses.

"Pacifica, look out! Bugs in the bullets!" He yelled out, going straight to fight mode as the partially crushed insect scrambled against his glasses, green drip causing the metal frames to melt and wither on contact.

The human girl let out a surprised yell as she saw the insect squirming on Ford's face, but quickly cast her perception wide to see if more were present, and to her horror, there were. More of the chittering, twitching insects were crawling out of grass hidden casings, small smoke trails marking their hiding spots as the acid mucus began melting nearby grass.

Ford reacted without hesitation, instantly ripping his glasses off his face and crushing them under his boot to get the insect away from his vulnerable eyes and kill it. The splattered mucus burned at his sole but couldn't melt through the extremely tough material. Without the glasses, Ford wasn't blind, but his vision did drop significantly without them. "Pacifica, just stay calm! Fall back to the carriage and get the knights over here!"

While relaying his instructions, Ford was reaching for a much more familiar, easier to access pocket than the one he stored the bullet in. He quickly produced an old style, block shaped silver lighter out it, albeit one with a minor modification: Ford had fitted the lighter with a small catch handle that, when set after it is ignited, stay burning through rough conditions. With a practiced hand, the scientist flipped the flame to life and locked it in place with one six fingered hand before hurling it at the nearest smoke plume, the fire catching quickly on the short grass. The spark caught on the foliage, and the quick growing flame swiftly consumed one of the beetles.

Pacifica was briefly frozen in place from fear, watching the discarded glasses melt apart and, involuntarily, her mind filled with hypothetical images of her own liquid flesh dripping off her face in the same manner, but the resolve she'd built over a few years of helping Dipper on his adventures fortified itself, letting her gain control of her body once more. Just in time as well, seeing as the closest insect to her had taken flight and was clumsily barreling through the air towards her face.

Acting fast, the blond from earth went for a bottle of disinfectant spray stored in a back pocket, whipping it right into the path of the oncoming beetle. Her index finger slammed down on the spray releasing tab, and the resulting chemical haze seemed to disorientate the insect while the accelerant wind trail left it hovering in the air, forward momentum cancelled out. Acting fast, Pacifica flipped the spray can in her hand, raised it up and smashed it down on the bug before it could regain momentum.

The carapace crumpled against her smash and Pacifica could feel her skin prickle at the wrist as a few green droplets got on her skin. Quickly giving that skin zone a short spray, she stomped on the downed insect to finishing it off, only to recoil with a yell when she pulled her foot back up, letting her spot a second beetle crawling up her boot.

Attempts to shake loose the unnaturally determined insect failed, six barbed legs able to find traction on almost any surface. Meanwhile, Ford was trying to navigate by sound, focusing on a faint buzzing while the crackling of fire continued to build. He swiftly removed his coat and swung it in a wide arc, the flattened, spread out material managing to catch the approaching insect like a wide net thrown to the sea to catch fish. Ford swiftly bundled the jacket up to crush apart the insect at the center of the cloth sphere, gaining a few fresh holes in the thick material.

Pacifica had meanwhile given up on shaking the insect loose, and in a spat of desperation at the sight of it nearing her pant leg, slammed her foot against a stone, trapping the insect between a rock and a hard place and smashing it to bits while sending pain shooting through her foot. Now with a slight, temporary limp, Pacifica began to lurch towards her fellow traveler. "Doctor Pines, we need to get out of here!"

"I couldn't agree more Pacifica! Unfortunately, I don't think I can turn my back on this one..." he responded, holding a stick in one hand while a beetle zig-zagged through the air in front of him, albeit without going forward or back. Like an ace fighter pilot, it was jockeying for the ideal approach vector, and both of them knew it was fast enough to avoid a simple stick swing.

However, Ford had a trick up his sleeve, or rather, his pocket. Right still gripping the stick, his left hand produced a jar of talcum powder from inside his coat and flicked the top at the insect, causing a white dust cloud to puff and envelope the insect. The sudden addition of matter seemed to slow the insect down with weight, while the the sharp black and white contrast let Ford track his target, even with his reduced vision. These two factors let him smack it out of the sky with a stroke of the stick, though this time Ford couldn't confirm if it was dead or not.

"Doctor Pines, here!" Pacifica called out from behind him, having limped closer and produced an object from her bag. Ford didn't recognize it as first but she was insistently shoving it towards him, so the scientist accepted the object and instantly was able to tell it an extra pair of glasses as his twelve fingers rolled over it.

"An extra set! Excellent, where'd you get these!?" He remarked while sliding them on his face.

"I was packing supplies and figured it wouldn't hurt to bring some spares. Glad I was right." Pacifica answered, and Ford could now see the limp she had. He wordlessly grabbed her by the arm and propped her against his shoulder. This allowed her to move faster than she could have on her own as Ford charted a course past the growing fire.

However, a harsh buzzing noise left the two frozen in place, flames fanning on either side of them. Ford's impromptu fire had smoked out the remaining beetles, causing them to fly away from danger instead of attacking, but now they had regrouped in the safe zone, and the assembled small swarm was staring the two humans down.

Ford and Pacifica went to their pockets as one of the beetles did a loop in mid-air to build up speed to dive bomb the two, but abruptly froze in place, shiny carapace gleaming in the dying light as it was pinned at the height of its angle by a thin, silver point skewered its body, green fluid flowing and rusting down the metal.

"THIS WAY ARCHMAGE!" Sir Stabby yelled out, wading into the beetle swarm and crushing them with his bare hands, paying no head to the spurts of bug juice rusting the surface of his armor. "THE KNIGHTS OF MEWNI SHALL CLEAR THE PATH!"

Higgs, trying to shake loose the beetle she'd skewered on the tip of her rapier, motioned to take Pacifica off of Ford and onto her should, but the scientist refused her, pointing to the carriage instead. "Get the red cylinder I packed on the carriage! Hurry young one!" he yelled, and the trained squire jumped to the task.

Minutes later, thanks to Higgs' swift retrieval of the fire extinguisher, the fight was over. Sir Stabby had crushed apart the remaining acid beetles, though he had to discard his gauntlets before the hungry liquid reached his fingers, and Ford was putting out the last of the grass fire he'd started.

While spraying a steady cloud of white foam on the last patch of fire, Ford looked over to Pacifica, who was sitting on a rock nearby checking that her foot wasn't severely damaged, finding, to her relief, it was merely sore. "Good rule for adventuring Pacifica..." he offered in an educational tone of voice. "Always have on hands the means to start fires, and the means to put them out. Also, in my personal experience, if you can only pack for one of those, pack for starting fires."

"I'll remember that Doctor Pines, thank you." Pacifica replied, gratefully but a little dryly. She stood up and took a few experimental steps, and found herself most steady. She put on a smile as Higgs approached.

"I think I found something you'll be interested in." The squire informed, a small hint of smugness to her voice. "The various little foot trails, including the one from the ambush point, that we've managed to find all converge at a spot not far from here. Looks like some kind of clearing, a recent one at that."

"Other foot trails?" Ford asked up, once again in all business investigation mode. Before Higgs could even answer, he added "Show us this clearing."

On the way over, the squire wearily explained to the two that the initial prints from the ambush sight could be traced to this, and that several foot trails were uncovered leading to and from the small, circular clearing on the edge of a nearby treeline. However, while field analysis of the tracks by the military mewmans indicated that numerous individual groups had made the trip out here, there were no signs of carriages being used. Finally, the wide variety in footprint shape and size indicated the travelers were monsters.

Ford swiftly set to work doing his own analysis, while Higgs and Sir Stabby stood watch. Pacifica did her best to help the examination, but couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as she ended up doing very little. She just didn't have the effortless dynamic Ford shared with his great nephew and apprentice when it came to clue hunting.

Perhaps sensing this, or perhaps simply looking for feedback, Ford spoke up. "Pacifica, what do you make of what happened back there? The beetles, specifically."

The blond girl seemed caught off guard by the sudden question, but put her thoughts together in short order. "Well, it confirms our initial suspicions, doesn't it? Tin man back there never said anything about those being a normal Mewni species, and their crazy aggressiveness and acid dribble makes me think they're some kind of magic trick. Alchemy, maybe?" Pacifica stopped to ponder for a moment. "But then again, maybe it's a diversion? Leave a big, obvious clue behind to get us going down the wrong path?"

"Good that you're considering all possibilities." Ford answered. He was sounding "teacher-e" again, Pacifica noted to herself, his speech betraying the fact that he already had an answer but wanted Pacifica to work it out with her own knowledge. Despite the situation, the blond human smiled a little: Whenever Ford got like this, Dipper would become completely entranced at everything he had to focus, using intense focus to try and reach the truth, with an adorably content look on his face.

"But, I believe your first conclusion is correct." Ford continued, bringing Pacifica back to reality. "This trap is perfectly within Bill's nature, as despite his skill at it, deception is a labor for him. He revels in the pain and destruction of other living beings. If given the choice between erasing evidence and leaving the evidence behind as bait for some manner of murderous trap, he'll chose to build a trap, every time. It's the reason I suspect so much evidence of him is still scattered around Gravity Falls." He stopped for a moment, inspecting a depressed section of grass. "His malice overrules his cunning."

Pacifica, meanwhile, was noting a secondary depression near the one Ford had discovered. "Doctor Pines, it almost looks wheels moved through here. But we couldn't find any trace of pack animals being used, right?"

"Correct. This appears to be the resting location of a large, heavy crate." Ford concluded, looking over the two depressions in the grass. The wheel marks moved towards the nearby treeline, where it then disappeared into the thicker undergrowth. "Based on the conditions here, it seems like a number of crates were placed in this clearing, but they were moved by hand cart at best. That means they probably weren't moved very far." Standing still for a moment, tapping his foot in thought, Ford finally perked up and headed for the treeline. "All of you, stay back!" He yelled to Pacifica, Higgs and Sir Stabby. "When the noise stops, join me in the woods!"

The order was baffling, but before any of them could question it in earnest, the nature of the command became evident: Loud cracks of noise suddenly echoes from where Ford vanished to, along with flashes of light from within the trees. The knights wanted to rush in right away, but Pacifica motioned for them to stay back, recognizing the sound of gunfire and not wanting them to get caught in the crossfire. Based on the cracking noise that followed each explosion, Ford seemed to be shooting the trees, splintering bark with bullet delivered kinetic explosions.

However, the noise that accompanied the last gunshot was the noise of metal connecting to metal.

Waiting for the forest to be definitively quiet, Pacifica finally lead the two soldiers into the woods, their rugged exteriors betraying some level of uncertainty. Was this the strange magic that had killed their comrades in arms?

Past the tree line, Ford was standing before a seemingly normal tree, though in comparison to some nearby ones it lacked a gaping hole in the trunk, splintered bark left around a blast hole. The man from earth had begun shooting the trees with the concealed pistol he'd brought to Mewni, and now, in front of the tree that stood against a bullet, was examining it with a simple instrument pair: A small metal wand, cylindrical handle colored with the opposing stripes of a barber shop, albeit with white turned to blue, with a little metal loop on the top. This scanning tool caused data to flash across the lenses of a re-purposed pair of 3D glasses.

The three found the older human just in time to see him run his scanning tool up and down the trunk of the tree a few times, then without looking reach up to a particularly small but low to the ground branch and pull on it. With the sounds of scraping metal, the branch lowered on a pivot, and the tree began to rumble ominously.

"Doctor Pines?" Pacifica asked with awe. "How did you figure out this was here?" she asked, as the metal trunk of the tree folded open to reveal a cramped but human sized elevator cabin.

"Because." He answered ruefully, beginning a scan of the elevator itself. "It's how I would have hidden it."

**_Author's Notes_**

_Now we're starting to get out first look at what's going on here, while Star and Dipper run through an alternate version of "Rest In Pudding." At this point in time, Star is still struggling with her feelings for Marco, and her new friends from Earth are going, shall we say, significantly change the direction those feelings go._

_Like when I wrote Star and Pacifica becoming friends, Star and Dipper bonding came incredibly easy to me when writing. I'm a little worried they might be bonding too fast as a matter of fact, but the intense emotional exposure they had to each other just felt really natural and real and seems like it would bond them together really well. I'm interested to hear what you all think, but let me be clear: This fanfic isn't going to take a swerve and suddenly ship Star and Dipper together. You can all rest easy on that subject. _

_Oh, and I'd really appreciate any feedback about the fight scene against the insects. I really want my fanfics to be full of interesting action scenes and fights, but sometimes wonder if I'm even writing them well. If you loved it or hated it I'd be happy to know. _


	4. Rest In Pudding Part 2

While Ford and Pacifica were out traveling the countryside and stomping bugs, Star and Dipper had spent the day together in the earthlings' quarters, slowly cranking the gears of science. The beds of the room were now covered in continuous sheets of printed paper, documenting sometimes jagged, sometimes curvy wavelength lines that, to an educated eye, explained the various mental functions of the blond princess and assorted discharges from her magic wand. Currently, they were in the middle of a vital step of the experimental process.

"Thank goodness I was able to get some of these before Mabel drank them all." Dipper commented with relief while pulling a soda can through a scissor cut portal. As he took a long, refreshing drink from the fridge cooled soda can, Star looked at him with curiosity, lifting the rim of the brain scanner she was wearing on her head, made out of a large colander with wires attached to it, running into a small sized portable printer. It had been brought to Mewni by magic of portal science, as opposed to the science of scissor magic that had let him get drinks, or the magic wand magic that had conjured the bowl of chips Star was snacking on.

It had been a brief but still difficult decision, when Dipper had ultimately had chosen that using the portal again to retrieve the supplies needed to help Star with her hallucinations was the right decision. Of course, he wasn't worried about gravity fluctuations or rifts between dimensions anymore, the years of work Ford and Dipper had spent improving the portal ensured it now ran smooth and safe, but he was still naturally wary of demonstrating too much of it to the princess of Mewni. On the other hand, she already knew they had some manner of traveling between dimensions, and so the boy settled on explaining the basics to her, that Great Uncle Stanford's greatest achievement is a variable destination interdimensional portal generator machine, while not letting her actually step through it and go back to the lab with him.

The princess had taken this with more stride than Dipper had expected. "I understand, you boys gotta have your secrets to protect, can't have girls looking at your private spaces, right?" She had answered in a very jokey tone of voice, but when the boy had gotten flustered and somewhat frustratedly told her back that it wasn't like that, she seemed to frown somewhat and offer a more serious response. "I... I know Dipper, I just meant it as a joke, I didn't mean to tease you. I'm guessing your uncle Ford wants to keep your laboratory and stuff on a need to know basis?"

Looking surprised by this, Dipper found himself somewhat dumbly nodding yes, despite the back of his mind telling him that that information was probably also supposed to be on a need to know basis.

Star smiled back at him. "Well go ahead then, I'll wait right here! I'm familiar enough with the concept of someone all older and wiser asking you to keep secrets, even if it doesn't make sense at the time." she explained, tone becoming a little weary at the end.

So, Dipper had left one his fast return switches sitting on the bed, seeing as their secondary function is serving as homing beacons the portal can be manually locked onto, then thrown one of the other ones he was carrying, vanishing from Mewni back to Earth in a flash of light that kicked up a few papers around the room but otherwise left no ripples from his passage.

In the Mystery Shack's basement, Dipper landed on his feet after falling through the temporary passageway through the multiverse, the entrance rip only in existence for the blink of an eye, like a camera flash going off. He quickly set off on the easy task of gathering up some basic experimental gear and assembling it before the portal, and during that manual labor he couldn't help his wandering mind. _"Star does have a point though." _He thought to himself, while rummaging through a dimly lit storage room which had everything from circuit boards to preserved eyeballs lining the shelves. _"This isn't really a place you'd want to take a girl down to." _Then, while moving a pile of shoe boxes, he muttered "Right this way ladies, let's head down to the creepy science basement and have a good time!" in a sarcastic tone as a little joke, but then stopped to reconsider.

_"Pacifica understands." _He thought to himself with a very warm, comforting sensation. _"I bet Star would as well, she's very..." _He began to trail, then scrunched his eyebrows up. "Why are you so quick to trust her Dipper? This isn't like you." the boy wondered aloud. _"Why do I suddenly feel so comfortable around her, actually!? Great Uncle Ford warmed me about that dimension, but she's just so... familiar, and easy to talk to. But also really understanding, somehow. I don't doubt what Grunkle Ford said about Mewni, but I'm sure she's different."_

Having come to terms with his decision, Dipper finished assembling the needed equipment in short order and began booting the portal up. The modern computing systems they added to the portal over time made it easy to lock onto the specific fast return switch Dipper had left as a beacon, and set the portal to turn off automatically after three minutes of maintaining a portal, which should be just enough time to move everything into the castle room. Right before executing the command though, Dipper opened up a side window to check one more thing, smiling softly with relief. "Grunkle Ford and Pacifica are still right where they need to be, excellent." he muttered contently, and moments later a celestial gateway through the wonders of the multiverse opened up before him.

"Amazing what a world of good some hard work and experimentation can produce." He chatted out loud to himself while getting the first box of supplies in his arms. "The first time I ever saw this process, it was destroying the town and I was scared for my life. Now I use it to ship packages and can come and go without seeing a trace of Grunkle Stan or Mabel."

That had been a few hours ago, and with the equipment from Earth the apprentice and the princess were able to get off to a good start, vigorously testing and tuning the proto-spell that would hopefully shield her from Bill Cipher. The biggest roadblock was undoubtedly the radically different backgrounds on magic the two had, with the transition from psychic energy wavelength readings recorded on paper to the right combination of words and emotions necessary to conjure those same energy wavelengths out of the royal wand being akin to a four stage foreign language translation, but the princess and the apprentice had found they worked well together, so even this difficult task came naturally enough to them. Eventually though, they'd opted to take a break, and in the interest of making them even, Star had begun explaining the dimensional scissors to Dipper, which eventually resulted in him using them to pilfer soda cans.

"Whose Mabel?" Star found herself asking on impulse as Dipper made an offhand reference to some other female. _"I mean, well, it sounds female at least." _Star chastised herself mentally. _"I dunno, maybe that's a boy's name on Earth?"_

"She's my sister." Dipper answered a little hesitantly, not sure how much he wanted to get into that relationship. Star had been exceedingly honest with him to the point that he disliked the idea of misleading her in conversation, but at the same time the thought of his sibling gave Dipper complicated feelings. Luckily, Star seemed to be satisfied by the bare bones explanation and didn't press further, letting him comfortably change the subject. "These scissors are really handy you know. You were saying the weird fire vampire who was with your mom makes these?"

"Her name's Hekapoo and she's not a vampire." Star corrected gently. "Also yes." Winding herself up, she explained further that "The Magical High Commission bestows the gift of interdimensional travel upon the royal bloodlines best suited to the responsibility of bearing it. They're a heavy burden to bear, only bearable by those with the strength of royalty." Star explained while doing a somewhat unkind impression of her mother. Dipper giggled a little, and she went back to a more normal voice.

"Or by Ludo. Or by Ponyhead, somehow." She added on, slight curiosity tempered by an almost imperceptible taste of disdain. Then, her eyes narrowed and her voice got quiet and accusing. "Or by a piece of eye candy you can't stop slobbering over, you fickle fire vampire."

"I see." Dipper answered noncommittally before taking a long sip of his drink, eyes narrowing at Star. When he spoke again, his inquisitive nature was being fully expressed by his voice. "If the Magical High Commission wants dimensional travel to be provided to the multiverse, but in a responsible way, why not construct fixed position portals that open between a set pair of destinations, built in major cosmopolitan areas to facilitate better trade and communication?"

The princess regarding Dipper's question with interest, picking over it with a wondering expression. "I don't know actually." She admitted after some thought.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand that these things have the potential to be dangerous." Dipper added, using Star's royal scissors to cut back to the Mystery Shack's fridge and grab another soda. "But it seems like even if you give them to people who are responsible, they could always get stolen later. A fixed position portal would be much harder to steal. Or lose in the washing machine."

Having not been able to instantly grab a soda, the earthling put more focus on palming around until he eventually got one, causing him to only notice a far away, shrunk eyed expression of surprise on Star's when he pulled his hand out of the temporary portal and cracked his soda open. "Oh, uh, I didn't cause any flashbacks to a traumatic washing machine portal incident, did I?" He asked, half jokingly and half genuinely nervous. After a moment, he realized what a lost pair of scissors opening portals in the middle of an active washing machine could actually cause, and became bright red and very flustered. "No, wait, I didn't mean it like that!" Dipper yelled in an embarrassed panic, worried he'd offended when Star was still sitting stiffly frozen in place in her chair, staring right past him.

"I can see him." She finally breathed, pointing over Dipper's shoulder to the room's window. In her sight, her dead magic teacher Glossaryck stared back at her, a flat, emotionless expression on his bearded face. Dipper spun around to follow her gaze, but couldn't see anything in the reflection. His blush had quickly faded and now the boy from Earth was all business.

"Star, are you sure? Is he still there?" Dipper asked, looking intently at the glass and rapidly donning and removing a procession of modified eye glasses to examine the window with.

"Uh yeah, he's still floating there alright. Clear and crisp as ever." Star answered, prompting Dipper to run around the room checking various equipment: Turning the printer back on for a fresh brain scan, setting the psychic oscillator to a jamming frequency, flipping over a quicksilver filled hourglass, and checking the color of a green burning candle.

"Alright, break time's over Star. Let's field test some magic."

* * *

Across the plains and a short distance underground, Pacifica was stepping out of the elevator Ford had uncovered near the ambush site. Despite being stuffy, unnaturally warm and borderline hellish in architecture, the ride down did feature pleasing orchestral muzak and the elevator itself was surprisingly spacious on the inside. She and Ford could have easily ridden down together if not for the risk.

"Doctor Pines, are you sure we should be leaving our escort at the surface level? We don't know what's down here..." Pacifica asked. The Mewmans hadn't been happy about being ordered to stand guard outside, but continued to obey the scientist, as per their royal instructions.

"On the contrary Pacifica, I think I know exactly what's down here, and I don't want the Mewman military knowing a thing about it, or worse, acquiring a sample." He explained. The room they were in seemed to be a simple lobby, a metal square with one metal door blocking further movement into the underground bunker. Ford was examining it at length, looking to break some manner of lock. "Besides that, it just makes tactical sense. They'll be able to intercept anyone fleeing this space or attempting to flank us."

"Right, we certainly need to be worried about whatever is down here getting terrified of and running away from US." Pacifica muttered under her breath, but was quietly grateful about the fact that the odds of someone sneaking up on them through the elevator was lower.

Ford was closely scrutinizing the seam between the door and the wall, where the two metal pieces fit together snugly. Running along the door on the wall in an arc from floor to floor was a series of bright red symbols painted into the wall. "Basic demonic logarithmic security runes." Ford commented, with the same casual ease of a person remarking on unexpected warm weather. "Won't take a moment, probably primed to the number six six six."

Reaching out a six fingered hand, Ford touched one of the runes and dragged his finger up the wall, and to Pacifica's mild surprise the painted symbol moved with it. When Ford moved it up to the rune above it, the stationary symbol slid through it and the two changed places. Maneuvering a number of painted symbols like this, Ford soon had everything where he thought it should be, but the door remained locked.

While the older scientist scrunched his eyebrows in concentration, Pacifica spoke up. "So, what does that all mean, exactly?" She asked, meaning both the symbols on the wall and Ford's explanation of his actions.

The experienced dimension traveler paused for a moment, working how to compress decades of study to something he could explain in a short amount of time. "It's basically a magic lock made of math, very Plato. These symbols make up a mathematical equation written in the numerical and alphabetical language of a society of dimension traveling soul merchants who may have inspired human mythology's visual description of devils, you know, lots of horns and red and extra eyes. The key, essentially, is knowing what number an alphabetical variable represents. If you know that, the equation can easily be calculated and the door opened."

Pacifica processed this for a moment, before asking "And your first guess was six six six?"

"Yes, they seem to have something of a cultural attachment to that number. Always doing things in units of six, or hexadecimally." Ford answered distractedly, eyes and focus primarily on the lock.

Pacifica thought about it for a moment, then had an idea. "Try six six seven." She offered. Then, after a moment, added "If that doesn't work, try six six five."

Rather than reply right away, Ford thought about the idea for a moment, eyes traveling all over the wall equation before setting to work, swift fingers moving all around the arc of symbols. When he withdrew his hands again, Pacifica noticed a small amount of sticky, red liquid was now attached to his fingertips.

After a moment of anticipation, the runes began to glow with faint, inner light, and with a loud grinding noise the door slid open, seemingly a portal into a darkly lit storage space. Ford turned back to Pacifica with a raised eyebrow and a pleasantly surprised expression. "How did you know that would work?"

Feeling a little proud, Pacifica replied "I wasn't certain, but I after you explained the whole thing I figured it must be close to six six six if it seemed like that would work to you, then I kinda had a brainflash and wondered: What if whoever set this up had to change their password at some point and put the minimum amount of effort into it?" After a moment, she shrugged and added "It's a very common weakness in computer passwords."

"Very good thinking Pacifica, thank you." Ford said with sincerity before prepping himself to step through the gap, removing from his pockets a flashlight with his left hand and his concealed, freshly loaded pistol with his right. The intense beam of light scanned the room, revealing it to be full of wooden storage crates, some sitting unattended and some stacked, blocking him from getting a full view of the room. "Tell me, have you ever used a gun?" He asked suddenly, not turning back to the subject of his question.

She seemed surprised that he'd ask now, but never the less answered with "I've used some of the Northwest family ancestral firearms on our property's shooting range before, we all did, but the only time I've ever shot someone was, you know, that alien."

Ford crunched his eyebrows at this, he didn't want to put the girl on the spot, but his suspicions were getting stronger and stronger as he passed the beam of light over the base of crate and confirmed there was loose grass and dirt plastered on the bottom. As the man from earth stepped through the doorway, Pacifica asked "Why, did you bring a spare you want me to take?" before stepping in after him.

"Yes and no. I did not bring a spare, but it turns out I didn't need to." Ford explained while pulling the lid up on the grass stained crate, one of the only two inside that was unlocked. Pacifica had a small expression of surprise at the contents, while Ford was impassive. It was just as he'd suspected.

The crate was packed with firearms, familiar models constructed on earth, packed in to maximize storage efficiency. This one in particular was stacked with assault rifles, light brown stocks and grips contrasting the gunmetal narrow barrel and long magazine. "Weapons from earth, well beyond the technological capacity of anyone in this dimension. I imagine the rest of these crates have a whole army's worth of gear." Upon close inspection, Ford dryly noted "And of course he stores them all fully loaded."

"Bill Cipher: Destroyer Of Worlds, Necromancer, Ender of Hopes, irresponsible gun owner." Pacifica snarked while walking over to the other grass stained crate and throwing open. "Oh nice, a combo pack." She remarked with an incredibly sarcastic tone upon seeing that this box was loaded with dark colored semi-automatic pistols and bumpy surface, tan colored hand grenades.

"All Soviet models at that." Ford observed while joining her besides the other crate, carefully reaching in, checking the safety on one of the handguns, then fished it out and passed it to Pacifica. "I know, Stanley updated me on the rules regarding giving children weapons back in our dimension, but I think these are exceptional circumstances. Only fire if you absolutely need to."

Pacifica nodded in affirmation as she gently felt out the pistol in her hands. It was deceptively light, but had a more mental weight upon it for the teenager. She remembered shooting that unfortunate alien soldier, a mislead pawn of Bill's that was going to kill Dipper. She was beginning to pierce together the general idea of this place based on Ford's exposition about Mewni, and was quietly hoping she didn't have to deal with any of his local minions, feeling most comfortable at the thought of shooting the devil himself.

"Doctor Pines..." she spoke up after getting a feel for the pistol and finding the safety. "If Bill is able to stockpile all these weapons here, he's got access to Earth."

"Quite right." Ford responded, cracking open a third box, this one with a lock that needed breaking, and couldn't help but whistle upon seeing it was stocked with a full complement of rocket propelled grenades and matching launcher systems, all products of the Soviet Union as well. "I don't think it's a stockpile though, not primarily at least. I think this is an inventory, and those dead knights had the misfortune of becoming a live product demonstration."

"Astute as always Sixer!"

It was a new mouth delivering a new voice, but Ford knew the cadence and reflection too well, connected it with too much pain to ever mistake the speaker for anyone different. Pacifica made up for any fleeting doubts her comparative lack of experince with Bill might have generated with a lightning quick look at Ford's face. Both humans, filled with certainty, turned towards the voice and fired without hesitation, unfettered by the loud noise of pistol firing ringing off the metal walls. Pacifica fired four bullets reflexively before stopping to assess the situation while Ford, in stone cold control of his response, emptied the entire magazine.

The two were facing towards a dark corner of the room at the end of their turn. In that section of the room, further from the elevator, the crates were stacked on top of each other. With no other visible entrance to the underground base, the two came to the unpleasant conclusion that he'd been there the entire time.

After having the time to process the appearance of the third person in the room, there was no doubt in the two humans that they were in the presence of Cipher. His newest host appeared to be some kind of monster, closer to Mewman shaped than many though, wearing a long black robe and boots that would fit on the body of a normal sized mewman or a human at that. The skin that was visible, lit up by the beam of Ford's flashlight, was a dark, lumpy sort of red/purple. Their hairless head, the most visible part of their body, had a pair of pointed horns growing from the back of the skull, angled downwards and back like the winged helmet of mythological Hermes, and four eyes arranged in a square on the noseless face. Three of them were covered by eye patches, leaving only the bottom left to glare at the humans, twitchy and bulging with bright yellow veins. Across the figure's face was a sickly split smile, like the mouth was being held up by a pair of invisible fish hooks digging into the sides of the orifice.

The bullets ripped towards the dark figure, who stood in their path without flinching, even taking a jerky, puppet like step towards the bullets without hesitation. In a moment so fast both humans couldn't help but blink in shock, the air in front of Bill's newest host distorted with a cloud of hazy gold light, and the bullets suddenly deflected off track, pinging against the metal structure of the room and the wooden boxes that filled it, luckily not setting off any explosives. Both humans lowered their guns only a short distance, with Ford quickly sliding in another magazine, as they glared down the hallway with leery expressions, staying read to act at any moment but not wanting to risk firing again and being hit by reflected bullets.

Before their eyes, the hazy golden light consolidated into something solid, air rippling like a hot summer day before molding into another human shaped figure. It was even less human looking than Bill's host though, being shaped simply, lots of smooth and undetailed lines, like a figure of paint that stepped free of the frame and walked among the living. The being consisted of a muscular, geometrically simple body made out of golden bricks stacked together, save for the hands, as wide, round bone sprouted from both wrists into clumsy hands, and the feet, which ended with the claws of crocodiles. In place of a head, the golden mask of an Egyptian sarcophagus sat, but instead of a stoic expression carved into gold, the face bore a sickly grin that almost seemed alive.

"Oh Sixer, I'm flattered! I didn't even need to introduce myself this time and you recognized me! You know me so well!" Bill exclaimed in affected, hollow joy, before adding a mocking "It's like our souls are bonded!" More than ever, Bill speaking through this host sounded like the voice used by the demon in the mindscape. Whoever it was he'd been able to possess, they'd be capable of doing a very good Bill Cipher impression under more normal circumstances. When the latest meat puppet took a step forward, the gold figure moved forward with it, even though the two humans noticed it was floating a few inches off the ground.

"Bill..." The older human snarled with contempt, but not able to fully mask his feelings of uncertainty and dread building up inside him. Even with all his experience, whatever magical wonder the dream demon had at his disposal this time was a genuine surprise to the veteran dimensional traveler. All he knew for certain about this gold projection was that it could deflect bullets, hardly a comforting fact. "What have you brought to play this time?" he asked in a steady, serious tone. _"Bit of a long shot he'll just tell me outright, but worth a try. Bill loves to talk about himself after all." _was what Ford was thinking in his head after saying that, the mental words considerably less steady and confident than the spoken ones.

"Well this one's a political activist believe it or not..." Bill answered with a deceptively carefree and flighty tone of voice, striking a few fast poses and pulling some of the loose sections of his black coat/robe like he was trying to model the simple garmet while actually talking about his new puppet. "...Oh, wait, are you talking about my big gold friend here..." he picked up with faked realization while pointing to the otherworldly being, "...The big stock of party favors I've imported..." he continued while sweeping his arms around to encompass all the storage crates, "Oooooor did you really have in mind this guy here?" He finished, while driving the sharp nail of a right hand finger into the left palm hard enough to draw something vaguely similar to human blood. "Speaking of overly idealistic, annoying know it all youngsters who are always getting in over their heads, how's Pine Tree doing? Did you finally manage to give him cancer with all your whacky experiments and decided to press gang his little girlfriend into being a replacement?"

Both humans glared at Bill with unabashed contempt. Both wanted to riddle him with bullets more than anything in the world and their nerves were screaming at them to pull the trigger, but reason prevailed in both minds. Whatever Bill was using to protect himself here, it seemed capable of deflecting their bullets. Ford, as subtly as possible, tried to inch backwards towards the second box they had opened as Pacifica took up the conversation. "So, you've moved into the arms industry Bill? Sure, it's profitable and all, one of the biggest businesses there is, but it doesn't seem very... you." She chattered, trying to keep a cool air even though on the inside, she was terrified. Unconsciously, so flashed back to the somber, emotionally charged times Dipper would discuss his experiences with Bill. The Pines Twin was one of the most dauntless, fearlessly inquisitive people Pacifica had ever known, and he still spoke of the demon before her with a shudder.

"Killing has always been my business Llama." Bill remarked offhandedly, keeping his host's one eye glued on Ford. "And here on Mewni, business is good."

Ford slowed to a crawl, realizing Pacifica hadn't managed to distract Bill long enough for him to reach the box. The demonic form did seem to have stopped its slow tread forward, content to stand at the point that put the strange, projected golden figure just a little longer than arm's length away from the scientist. "But, hey, this isn't about business, believe it or not!" Bill suddenly spoke up, his voice having a sort of casual chatter to it like he was building up to a harmless joke one might tell during a pool party. "I'm here on a humanitarian mission, believe it or not! Well, monster-tarian mission? Monstarian? Monsterrarian? Hmm, wonder what the word for that this, not like those castle klutzes you two are living with would have even invented that word..." Bill was rambling now, and while Ford knew better than to assume he was the least bit distracted by whatever insane tangent he'd gone off on, Pacifica saw it as an opportunity to gently scoot to the side, trying to get further away from the gold figure. Luckily for her, Bill was genuinely too focused on Ford to care.

"And besides!" He concluded with a theatrical flourish towards his bizarre golden spirit. "Who needs something as mundane as bombs and machine guns when you've got THIS wonderful hunk of black magic!" The figure, as usual, displayed no expression, not even the subtle shifting of skin that marks even perfectly quiet human beings as alive.

"...What is that even? What weird magic have you managed to acquire from Mewni?" Ford asked, his genuine curiosity getting the better of him as he was genuinely puzzled by the shape in front of him.

"Oooooh, close but no towering pillar of burning, screaming skulls Sixer!" Bill answered, leaning his back a little to try and imitate the zero-gravity pose his spirit had taken. "Believe it or not, this fellow here is a little gift from Earth, of all places! Sure the locals helped me put the finishing touches on, but this is a one hundred percent guaranteed made with pride on Earth tortured soul of the damned!" Then, Bill took a single step forward, well polished shoes clicking against the floor "_Holy Diver _is what I've decided to call it."

It was over in a flash. The decades long nemesia had seen each others' moves coming from a mile away, but this time, Bill was just quicker on the draw. Suddenly leaning back on his heels and pointing one claw like hand toward's Ford, the cloak worn by Bill's host seemed to whip in a non-existent wind while he screamed "HOLY DIVER!" and the gold shape burst into action. Ford had been trying to shove his hand into the nearby crate and grab something, but his hand had barely cleared the wooden rim when a skeletal hand latched onto his wrist with a deceptively crushing, iron grasped strength.

_"That happened so fast!" _Were the identical thoughts Ford and Pacifica had in response. Ford could feel his six fingers going numb even as he strained towards one of the grenades stored in this crate. _"What kind of power does Bill hold now!?" _Was Pacifica's next thought, while Ford's brain was rapidly being clouded by pain as he let out a few gurgling groans as the pressure on his wrist got heavier and heavier.

"Much as I enjoy a good round of playing with grenades, I can't let you do that Sixer." He said in a faux regretful and apologetic tone. "Those hand grenades are lovely little Tekh Festival presents for all the good little monster boys and girls, and I can't have you stealing even one of them! After all, Holy Diver here went through so much trouble to find all these."

Pacifica had spent this entire encounter, as quick as it actually was, sticking to her re-positioning plan, having no idea what to do herself but with a fading certainty that Doctor Pines had a way out, that optimism weakening as he was caught by the wrist and breaking when the wet noise of bone beginning to crack filled the air and a look of genuine, desperate pain and panic crossed onto the older man's usually impeccably calm and rational expression. She knew she had to do something then, or they were both going to die here.

Seeing as she had a gun in her hand and a possessed body in front of her, Pacifica did the expedient thing and opted to shoot at the devil. It would have been such a small movement, to slide her finger over the trigger and take aim at someone less than five feet away, but somehow that was still too little. Before her mind had even processed the body's decision to shoot, Holy Diver was before her. She hadn't even seen it move, it was like one frame of the movie passing to the next, with the grinning, sickening face of a masked pharaoh crudely edited in, jump cutting to fill her whole frame of vision. When the skeletal fist smashed into the side of Pacifica's head, she'd mistook it for the noise and recoil produced by the gun. It had happened so fast, it wasn't until she heard Doctor Pines screaming that Pacifica realized she was laying sideways on the floor, blood beginning to trickle over her eyes.

"PACIFICA!" Ford screamed out, causing Bill to turn his attention back to the old scientist with the intention of mocking him for his shriek of despair, but his one eye widened as Ford finished his shout. "STAY DOWN!" Through sheer determination, Ford had shoved his shattered at the wrist, numb hand into the crate and trapped a grenade between his six, slicked with blood, fingers. He pulled the pin with his teeth and chucked it towards Bill, and even in its state of severe mutilation, the face of his host expressed panic.

Again however, Holy Diver moved with impossible speed, seeming to jump straight out of Bill's body into the path of the grenade. Its two skeletal hand suddenly ripped a brick out of the upper abdomen of the brickwork human figure, leaving a gap right in the grenade's path. Quick as a flash, the brick was shoved back into after the grenade fell down the hole, the whole thing fast enough the the short fused explosive blew up inside the spiritual being's body, shielding everyone in the room from harm.

Bill, however, had a grimace on his face, despite having foiled Stanford's attack. "That... was really unfortunate Sixer." He stated in a threatening tone of voice, while taking heavy, angry steps forward. All the obnoxiously fake pretenses of friendliness were gone from him now. "What you have just witnessed... the thing you saw before you... That was the true power of Holy Diver on display. It's kind of a vital trade secret for my plans, you know, so that means that you need to disappear now."

The demon gave another commanding point, and Bill's servant struck with its terrifying speed. A heavy, strong fist rocketed towards Stanford's torso, with no hope for the old scientist to avoid the impact. Holy Diver almost seemed slower now, though Ford couldn't decide if it was his reflexes kicking into overdrive in a hopeless attempt to try and dodge, or if Bill had deliberately slowed his attack to let Stanford see it coming, even if it was only for a second. _"Both of those are very probable." _Ford thought to himself, in a brief moment of clarity and calm.

Then the impact hit, the spectral figure punching straight through his stomach, a gore dripping skeletal fist emerging through his back, and none of that mattered anymore.

* * *

Completely unaware of the danger his loved ones were in, Dipper was frantically moving Star through the last stages of their magic experiment. They were so close now: Star had been doing her best to "modulate" her wand, producing a variety of magic wavelengths while still being able to view Glossaryck in the glass. It was somewhat tricky for Star to understand the concept, since it was basically requiring her to cast a spell that didn't do anything visible or physical, with only a few specific wavelengths producing small flames or little light shows, but they were making progress. Only three casts ago, one of her efforts had resulted in the image of her mentor distorting somewhat, and he went back to normal when she changed the setting.

At the moment, Dipper was holding up several different brainscan readings, looking at them with agitation that he was so close to solving this mystery and trying to see how they'd all fit together and perfect his spell. A notepad upon which he'd scribbled pages of Star's observations down on sat inside his vest pocket, being on the verge of falling out with how quickly he'd been taking it out and putting it in. "Okay, so, do you remember test #78? Where he briefly vanished from the window and showed up in your glass of water? Try that again, but pick up the... ugh, I think we need the dispersal patterns of #22, so, picture a prism or something while you're casting #78 this time?"

"Dipper?" Star spoke up. She was behind him at this point, doing an exercise where she draws on a copy of her brain scans with crayons to try and make them into pictures, thus making the wavelength spells more visual for her and thus easier to cast. At the moment, the princess was trying to turn her copy of #56 into an adorable octopus while Dipper went over his note spread with his back to her. "I can't see him anymore."

The apprentice actually froze in place as he processed this information, pieces of info in his brain trying to clip together in a way that makes sense. "Maybe there was a time delay aspect I didn't consider..." he muttered slightly, putting his hand to his chin in contemplation, before brightening up and turning around with a cheerful disposition. "Well, I suppose it's problem solved then! Star, any adverse conditions you might be feeling at the moment? Side effects, residuals, uh..."

The boy trailed off upon looking around, because as soon as he was able to see it Star's expression of relief had shifted to a burst of surprise followed by tension. Dipper's own relieved attitude faded right back to business mode when he saw her. "What is it Star?" he asked, knowing something was wrong.

The princess slowly raised a finger and pointed it straight at Dipper's head. "He...he's inside your eye now!" She yelled, recoiling slightly as the small blue figure glared out at her from the reflective surface of Dipper's pupil. His previously emotionally vacant face had changed, now he looked desperate and was even moving, pounding his fists against the reflective surface as if to escape a glass box.

Reflexively, Dipper's hand curled to fist and he rubbed the side of the eye in question with the joint of his index finger, as if to remove some annoying dust from his eye, but quickly chastised himself mentally for the automatic action. _"That was irrational Dipper, you know this whole thing is an illusion only Star... can..." _His whole thought process derailed however, when Dipper actually looked down at the hand he had used, and saw a small drop of blood sticking to the finger. "...s...See..?" he couldn't help but stutter aloud at the sight.

"Dipper, what's wrong? Stay with me, okay Dipper? Dipper?" Star asked with mounting concern as she saw the signs of a freak out getting onto Dipper's face.

"It's... it's not possible. I... it was so many years ago, I let Ford put the metal plate in my head!" Dipper mumbled, getting louder the more he talked. "Blood from the eyes, I can't be... STAR!" He suddenly yelled, causing the princess to flinch slightly, which the boy was too worked up to notice. "Bleeding from the eyes is something Bill causes, just by his presence. This... this is far worse than I'd thought..." He looked at her with desperation now. "Star! I need you to complete the spell now!"

Feeling panic overwhelming her, Star tried to put her focus somewhere else to try and center herself, but the only place her attention could be drawn was Dipper's eyes. They'd always been a little bloodshot and kinda baggy during their previous interactions, but from Star's perspective they'd also shone with a sort of oddly familiar, deeply set and calculating intelligence that she found to somehow be a little comforting, even though they'd only known each other a few short days. Now, they were lit aflame with deeply seated, pain driven panic, and small pools of the red liquid were beginning to build at their sides, building up to form bloody tears.

Star gripped the wand tightly in her hands, starting to shiver with anxious hyperventilation, mind racing over all the previous experiments, trying to put all the numbers and charts Dipper had explained to her into perspective, into something that would work! _"I can do this, I CAN do this! Okay, #78 plus #23, needs the... wavelength, what does that mean!? Okay, just imagine the two charts are snakes eating each other!"_

As much as she tried, theoretical physics just wasn't a subject Star had a great deal of familiarity with, so her grip on Dipper's explanations and instructions was steadily fading as he looked straight at her, desperate for some kind of response from the princess. All the while, the emotional mass of panic was rising across her brain like flooding water, submerging everything she desperately needed to solve this puzzle. Dipper was continuing to bleed from the eyes, and the Glossaryck illusion... seemed to be getting bigger!

_"GLOSSARYCK! THAT'S IT!" _Star screamed mentally, and when stuck at a crossroads as rising water threatened to drown her, did what she did best: Dove right in.

Rather than fight back against the emotions of panic and dread that were slowly blocking out her ability to access Dipper's magical maths and sciences, Star dunked her head into it, swam into the panic and bathed in the worry. She let the dreadful emotions fill every nerve of her body, flowing through her as she dove deeper and deeper into the ocean. Finally, she hit the bottom, and stumbled upon the true emotional core, the pulsating core that all the fear and panic flowed out of like pus from a wound.

Star cared about Dipper. Star cared about the boy from Earth. Star cared about Marco. This deep down, she couldn't quite tell them all apart, but the light shone through the depths with endless clarity.

Suddenly, everything became crystal clear. Dipper's math, the electrical signals of her brain, the wand, her inner feelings, the energy of the cosmos, and the conduit that was her body all felt the same. They were all one substance, and she could mix and match them together however she pleased. Matter was energy was thought was matter. It was so simple now. Star simple attached all the calculations and charts Dipper had created by scanning her brain, that she could visualize but not understand, and snapped them onto her desire for the boy from Earth to be safe like zipping up the two sides of a jacket. The two things became one idea, and then, Star just threw it back to the universe.

_"Wait, hold on." _She thought to herself, recalling Dipper's earlier explanation that they needed to figure out Bill's wavelength, then cancel it out. The princess fished her complete spell out of the astral sea, reaching through the wand to get it back, then flipped it upside down before putting it back in. _"There you go buddy. Now, swim for freedom!"_

Back in reality, Star's wand, eyes and cheek marks shown with golden light to Dipper's amazement, and suddenly the room exploded into a golden haze, like a camera flashing. Golden spots exploded in his vision, causing Dipper to once again instinctively rub his eyes. This time though, there was no blood on his hands when he pulled them back.

"Star?" He asked, mindful of the fact he was a little dizzy, but the princess looked absolutely out of it. "Did... was that an attempt to cast the counter-spell? Can you still see Glossaryck?" She didn't respond verbally, instead shuffling forward on jelly legs to abruptly throw her arms around Dipper, in what seemed to be half a hug and half an attempt to stay on her feet. "Woah, hold on Star! I think you need to lay down after whatever you just did, let's see, uh... chair will do..." Dipper was stuttering at that point, having not expected the hug and being somewhat ashamed of himself for finding it sort of nice. _"It's... kinda like being hugged by Pacifica now that I think about it. But... stickier somehow. Eugh."_

The apprentice had to drag her limp feet across the floor, but managed to set the princess down in one of the room's comfy chairs, looking down at her with a frown of concern despite still being a little dazed himself. Gradually, her eyes came back into focus and her gaze met Dipper's. She looked right into his eyes and grew a really goofy smile all of a sudden. "I can't see him anymore." she said with a little giggle.

Despite himself, Dipper couldn't help but giggle along in response, genuine relief sweeping over him. "Well, that's good to hear. Now, you just need to do that, uh, probably every day for the rest of your life, and everything's gravy!" He said with a giggle, trying to intentionally tell a joke. In truth, he had no idea how exactly this spell functioned at the moment, or if it even needed refreshing.

It seemed to work, as Star giggled back at him, but in the state she was in Dipper could have told her she had contracted a gastrointestinal disorder and she'd probably have laughed at it. Disorientation was beginning to return to her face though, and Star's eyelids were on the verge of crashing shut when she managed to cut through the giggles and say "I did it Marco, I invented a spell..."

This caused Dipper to look at her with confusion for a moment, but when Star slipped into sleep a moment later, he wrote it off as just some harmless rambling. Finally taking his gaze off her face, which finally looked relaxed after her recent troubled sleep, Dipper stood up straight and let out a long exhale, tension finally draining away with the satisfaction of a job well done.

At least until he looked around the room, taking in just what a mess they'd made with the day's worth of work. "Well, true science never comes without a cost..." he muttered softly before setting to work cleaning up the room.

* * *

Pacifica realized how long she'd been laying on the floor well before she'd figured out the fact she was laying on the floor. Everything was sort of a blur for her at the moment, thoughts in her head seeming to fall away like they were house utensils coated in butter when she tried to think about them. She tried to blink, only to realize that didn't do anything. She tried to blink again, and while nothing happened, she learned from the nothing that time. _"Right, I'm still bleeding from the punch to the head."_

The girl from Earth blinked a third time, and this time, there was a change: As her eyes receded, a shot of fight or flight was changing her vision, offering vague shape to the endless fuzz she was experiencing with all five senses. _"FORD! BILL!" _she screamed in her head while slowly regaining control of her arm. Pacifica's eyes began to flutter, blinking back and forth at a crazy rate while the eyes inside rolled around without focus, but slowly, the vision of red was fading from her sight. The micro-wash of tear liquid that coated the eye every time a human blinks was slowly clearing her sight, like windshield wipers fighting through a thick layer of highway insects! When sight finally returned, it gave her a vision of what she was dreading most: Doctor Pines laid flat against the floor, a grievous injury to his stomach.

_"HE JUST MISSED!" _Pacifica thought in her head, some nagging thought at the edge of fuzzy sensation telling her that wasn't the conclusion she was supposed to come to. _"I... he was too focused on Doctor Pines, didn't see me moving, so when Bill swung for me he was off center! He only grazed my head instead of smashing it flat!" _Then, Pacifica frowned. Frowned in her head at least, she didn't have control of her face at this point in time. _"No, not Bill, not Bill but Bill. Gold Bill. Pyramid, but Bill's a pyramid."_

The odd tangent about the nature of Bill's nature felt like it could bounce around Pacifica's head all day, but fortunately for her, by pure chance, it bounced against the gaping hole in her skull and fell out of her head, leaving her no idea what she was just thinking about. _"Why... why is everything so fuzzy? I can't think straight, can't focus on everything..."_

_"I gotta get out of here." _Pacifica suddenly realized, a cold chill sweeping her body. _"I'm gonna die here, Ford is gonna die here and Dipper is probably going to die here if I don't get out of here!" _On instinct, she tried to push her body up with her limbs to make an escape, but only her right arm still responded to her, as far as she could tell, and the blond's attempt to push herself up failed as she collapsed down. _"No, that's not it..." _Pacifica realized. There's was something else, a way to vanish into the light and step between the walls of reality, to flee from this place.

Her right hand snaked its way into Pacifica's pocket, fumbling over all the little gadgets and supply bits she'd packed in them, flicking her nails against each object her fingers passed over, knowing she couldn't tell them apart by touch even if she tried.

Suddenly and without warning, it engaged. Reality fell away from Pacifica, turning into a ravaging tunnel of stretched stars, blue vortexes, dying planets, compressed timelines, overlapping space and the other wondrous infinities that exist hidden beneath tables and sunlight and cars and people and everything else people think reality actually is. Pacifica couldn't help but snort at the mental image of a time paradox hiding behind a piece of lipstick, then resigned herself as she flew through the void.

_"Well, either I escaped or I'm dead. Either one is better than having to listen to Bill talk at least."_

Just as suddenly as it came, the fabric of reality faded away and the illusion returned. To Pacifica's relief, it was a familiar illusion this time, something extremely similar to the Pines family basement. She blinked a few times. _"THIS IS THE PINES FAMILY BASEMENT! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!"_

The trip through dimensions had almost been sobering for Pacifica, as this time, when she tried to get to her feet, her limbs obeyed, perhaps given strength by the comforting atmosphere. However, with awareness came pain, and Pacifica was suddenly very, very aware of the throbbing impact site on the right side of her head. She hadn't been cut, but her skin had been flattened and tenderized enough that thick blood was leaking out, turning her blond hair into a matted mess on that patch of her head.

Despite every step sending a fresh shot of agony out of the fist shaped wound on her skull, Pacifica continued to stumble towards the control terminal for the portal. She knew exactly what she had to do now, but her brain didn't seem to have full control of her body. Her eyes wouldn't focus on what she needed to, her legs could only move in broad, ungainly shuffles, and her fingers twitched at random. Normally, navigating through a complex, built for computer programmers operating system would be damn near impossible like this, but in a stroke of luck, the fast return switch tracking sub program was still open!

As much as she wanted to do this as quickly as possible, fingertips flying over the keyboard, Pacifica forced herself to hit each key slowly and methodically, punching out the whole process with just one finger. She knew if she didn't take it slow she'd make a mistake, which would only make this take even longer. _"Short return portal... activate gravity trawl... engage!"_

Pacifica was rewarded by a brief flash of light from the portal that, when faded, had left behind an old man with a grievously bleeding wound behind, his open stomach exposed to the mostly sterile air. Most would have rushed over to see if he was still even breathing, but Pacifica knew she had to stay on task, and besides, she knew if she tried to run she'd just fall on her face. _"Second target... found it!" _The dazed girl said in her head, unsure if she'd said it aloud or not. _"Set... half hour opening, just to be safe. Lock on... fire!"_

The portal machine glowed back to life as space and time were rended once again, and Pacifica finally stumbled towards Doctor Pines before dragging him towards the vortex. A part of her brain was screaming at her for handling someone so grievously wounded in such a rough manner, but the girl's limbs literally couldn't do any better at the moment, and besides, if the fevered plan her concussed brain had come up with worked, then everything was going to be good regardless of a few extra bumps or bruises!

_"Star Butterfly, please, for the love of whatever gods they worship on Mewni, PLEASE be a divine caster!" _Was the last tangible thought Pacifica had before she dragged herself and Doctor Pines back into the portal.

* * *

Back inside the distant room of the royal castle, Dipper looked at an organized pile of brain scan papers with satisfaction. He hadn't thrown out anything except the snacks so far, since the boy was confident Great Uncle Ford would want a look at all of the data after he explained what he and Star had done today. The simple task of organizing all the records had honestly helped Dipper relax, all while Star continued to slumber peacefully over in the chair.

The relaxation vanished as his skin began to prickle, detecting the familiar feeling of the air ionizing. Dipper wasn't frightened by the feeling, not yet at least, but was confused. _"I'm absolutely certain we never taught Stan or Mabel how to open a portal..."_

His question ended up being answered when a stable gateway through dimensions opened up right in front of his face, and both Pacifica and Great Uncle Ford stumbled through, their collection of injuries instantly overwhelming the boy and throwing him into a panic. He began to gurgle, trying to scream a dozen frightened, concerned questions at the same time, only to get out a "WHAT!?"

The two were laying in a heap on the floor, Pacifica on top of Ford, so Dipper picker her up first. "Pacifica, what happened!?" he asked, scared to death as he saw her blond hair curled up and messed with blood and her disorientated face. Rather than answer through, the girl straight up shoved Dipper away from her, resulting in her almost falling over before she could stumble onto the closest bed. Dipper looked at her, completely bewildered, but when she pointed to Grunkle Ford, he understood completely: She was telling him the old man was much more injured than she was.

"Oh my god... GRUNKLE FORD!" Dipper yelled in shock, tears instantly flooding his face as he saw the enormous wound and the lack of movement from his beloved mentor. Barely able to stay in control and calling on muscles he didn't know he had, he heaved his great uncle onto the table containing the map of Mewni, laying him flat on his back in an impromptu surgical position. The idea to operate on his mentor had briefly flashed through Dipper's mind, but it evaporated into white hot anger as Dipper wanted to punch himself for thinking something so stupid! "His stomach is GONE Dipper! A little prescription morphine and a field dissection kit can't fix this!" He screamed with absolute self-loathing, the cold feeling of watching someone so incredibly close to him dying clenching his heart.

However, Dipper's greatest strength was being a quick thinker, so rather than sink to the floor while breaking down in despair, he was able to keep running and keeping thinking while despair encircled his heart. "STAR! STAR!" He yelled out, running towards the sleeping princess. "STAR GET UP, WE NEED YOUR MAGIC! YOU CAN HEAL PEOPLE RIGHT!?" He yelled desperately, actually violently shaking his friend by the shoulders in an attempt to wake her, but despite the fact that her neck was flopping around in a fashion Dipper would be concerned about if Ford wasn't on death's door, her eyes stayed shut. "Okay, magic sleep, next option!" Dipper muttered, actually tossing Star to the floor as he discarded her as an option. He was in full on survival mood, desperate to save his mentor's life, going from one option to the next, no more room for any other considerations.

Without a moment of hesitation or reverence, Dipper Pines snatched up the Royal Magic Wand of the Kingdom of Mewni from the seat cushion where Star had sat on it as she fell asleep.

The change in his grip was instant. Bright gold light covered the "stick below circle" shape of Star's wand, turning it into a hazy, indistinct shape that could easily morph like clay, responding to Dipper's soul. The handle got wider while the head of it got narrow until the two were equal in diameter while the bottom end tapered into a point. Then, the top of the wand began to grow a new extension, that grew straight, before curing to the right while still extending, then curving back above the wand. All the while, the gold light had subtly color shifted to a more sedate dark green, before finally exploding to reveal the wand beneath: The wand had reshaped itself to an over-sized, novelty pen with a Mystery Shack brand question mark coming from the top.

Dipper hadn't paid a lick of attention to this change however, simply rushing back to great uncle's side. He was still breathing, but it was shallow and wet. His blood had already soaked the map underneath him. Hyperventilating, Dipper tried to put his thoughts in focus. He had one chance to save his mentor, his great uncle, the most important person he had ever met, and he had to make it count!

"Thoughts to energy to matter, thoughts to energy to matter..." Dipper muttered nervously, calling up all of his memories of the day's work. "I KNOW how this wand works, I've spent all day studying it, I can make it work!" He said with absolutely no self-confidence, trying to talk himself up even as the wand began to sparkle with energy, small green embers falling from the end like ink.

"Matter, energy, thoughts, change, dimensions, the source, change, cycles, thoughts to energy to matter to energy to thoughts, organs, the body is matter, life, energy happening inside carbon matter..." Dipper was rambling now, falling into a full on mental breakdown as everything seemed to fit together but wouldn't, like having jigsaw puzzle pieces you know fit wash down the kitchen sink.

Then, it struck him.

The puzzle had fit together, by pure chance, washed away pieces ramming into each other in a statistically impossible series of combinations to complete the puzzle inside the drain, the image twisting and folding to fit the narrow space but still complete. Dipper was blinded by the light as he could see nothing but the complete puzzle, not Pacifica awakening to the side of him, not a pair of question marks burning into existence on his face while the constellation birthmark on his head shined with the real light of night, and not Ford laid down on the table in front of him, but somehow seeing the complete puzzle let him know Ford was there. Before he could lose nerve and back down, Dipper dove down, firing the wand at max strength.

"Inner bone, osteoblasts, osteocytes, osteoclasts, red marrow, yellow marrow, structure, support, resistance..." Dipper was rambling now like a man possessed as his right arm moved the wand through the air above Ford's wound like an equally sporadic possessed man, but from across the room, Pacifica was now clear headed enough to watch the process with awe. As he spoke and... wrote, Pacifica realized, he was writing on thin air even if he was moving so fast it looked random, magic was flowing out of the pen tip like ink, into the wound before it, and miraculously, the soft green trails of light seemed to solidify into biomass inside the wound!

"Arteries, veins, hemoglobin, lymphocytes, capillaries..." Dipper listed, barely aware of what he was doing, simply listing off everything Ford would need to live, everything HE would need to live. His words, his thoughts were scribed into reality, made real by Dipper's bottomless desire to see his mentor live! The pen tip of the wand carve apart reality, opening the space and time before them like a book and changing the ending because he hated it so much. Reality could only bend when faced with such conviction behind the words, shifting its base matter into the exact arrangement of atoms and molecules that would be needed to save Stanford's life.

"Keratin, corpuscles, sweat glands, follicles, hypodermis, dermis, epidermis!" Dipper declared, making a elaborate flourish as if he was using the wand to provide a flamboyant autograph, as fresh, perfectly clear skin regenerated atop his magical, surgical handywork. Then, when the wand was lifted as far above the boy's head as it could go, he slammed the tip of the pen down into Ford's newly repaired stomach, screaming "DISINFECTION!" as a bright, warm light erupted from the site of the incision, but when Pacifica could see again, Stanford's stomach looked in perfect condition, instead of being disemboweled by pen point.

Breathing heavily now, Dipper's shoulders sagged with great weight, as he stumbled over to Grunkle Ford's side to take his pulse. Whatever the result was, it was enough to make Dipper smile softly before collapsing to the floor with exhaustion. Despite this seemingly positive result, Stanford was still deep into unconsciousness as well, while Princess Butterfly had somehow remained asleep through the whole thing, even though she was still thrown to the floor. As a result, with her head still swimming, Pacifica was the last person in the room to pass to unconsciousness, the last image of front of her eyes being Dipper's bright silver birthmark before she fell into darkness.

**_Author's Notes_**

_Okay, this is where I hope this story is hitting its stride. All the characters have met each other, bonds are forming, time to bring in the bad guy! Between the weapons, the punch ghost and his implied connections, he's certainly got enough to go toe to toe with our heroes. Lots of little details and references scattered around this chapter, I'd love to hear any catches you made or guesses about Bill's plot. _

_I also hope you liked the turn of Dipper using the wand, combined with his knowledge of anatomy, to save Ford at the end. Plus, replacing Janna with the Pines Twin seems to have had quite an impact. It seems Glossaryck isn't coming back to life anytime soon. As usual, I love to hear what people think of the story so far and hope you have enjoyed yourselves reading it._


	5. The Discourse of Dreams

The one-eyed demon stalked the streets of the Underworld, moving from dark alley to dark alley, doing his best to look like a boring man traveling down a boring street, upon which sat a boring building. Giving the back alley door of this place a distinctive knock, the figure waited a few moments before the door cracked open, allowing him to slide inside, then seal and lock it behind him.

"So, what's the deal Phil, are we still in business?" One of the demon's associates asked. Of course, the associate himself was also a demon, technically, but Bill considered it a phonetic similarity only. _"TRYHARDS DON'T EVEN MAINLINE PURIFIED HUMAN SUFFERING, JUST WATER IT DOWN AND TRAFFIC IT FOR 'PROFIT'." _he thought with annoyance.

"Yeah Phil, the liberation movement hasn't been discovered, has it?" A different demon, audibly more nervous, asked from across the room.

_"THAT'S SOMETHING ELSE THAT ANNOYS ME. THIS NAME. PHIL. IT'S NOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO BILL, LIKE WILL OR SOMETHING, TO MAKE THE COINCIDENCE FUNNY. IT'S JUST ANNOYING THAT I HAVE THE IMPULSE TO CORRECT THEM, THEN THE IMPULSE COMES IN TO NOT CORRECT THEM AND HOLD MY COVER." _Despite this annoyance though, a few quibbling nags couldn't get the dream demon down, not when his most recent encounter with his enemies went so well. _"I'VE HAD WORSE HOSTS THAN A DEMONIC POLITICAL ACTIVIST NAMED PHIL I SUPPOSE."_

"There are no worries gentlemen." The body spoke soothingly, a familiar voice speaking the words of a diabolical mind to put everyone at ease. "Our cache remains secure, and we will be able to conduct the deal at the scheduled occasion." Then, with a magnetic smile, Bill added "The only problem, such as it is, was my journey; it's left me quite exhausted. If you'll excuse me..."

Far away from his minions, whose bizarre, not quite human shapes brought to mind wistful memories of his Henchmaniacs, Bill laid his host down onto a chair. The room he was in now was a secret compartment, secret even to his current servants, connected to his bed chambers. In the publicly know room, Bill had thrown off his overcoat, after carefully removing a recently used brimstone bell from an inside pocket and setting it on a table, before traveling through the dresser back secret door to his private sanctum.

The room was a basic little compartment, an oval shaped chamber that was able to fit a perfectly circular pool of ankle deep water in the center, and a crappy fold out lawn chair besides it. Runic symbols of a mystical nature were carved into every surface of the room, with the sprawling, eccentric designs all converging at the pool of water. After making himself comfortable, Bill folded back an eyepatch without any discomfort to reveal a singular, gouged empty socket behind it. Then, he whispered the command. "Holy Diver."

The strange spiritual being, face still frozen with a sickly, gold plastered grin, materialized into existence besides Bill. Almost casually, the dream demon directed his body to begin plucking blocks out of the figure's golden brickwork form, stuffing each brick into the seemingly bottomless cavity on his face where an eye had once sat. Once a significant cavity was made in Holy Diver's body, Bill reached into his host's socket and removed enough bricks to cover it over, leaving an empty sphere inside the muscular figure.

"Alright, we're rapidly approaching the big sale and we need more stock. Hit up the usual places and focus on more ammunition and explosives than guns and weapon systems, you know, the stuff they'll use up." Bill instructed while pointing towards the pool of water. "Oh, and if you've got time, kill a couple soldiers for me. Somewhere so a minority population gets the blame for it. Ethnic, religious, I don't really care. Just... Just get a good retaliatory massacre going. That'd really make my day."

Without any response to his master's demands, Holy Diver began to trudge the short distance to the ankle deep water. Taking a standing position at the very center of the pool, the figure clasped the palms of both hands against each other, then slipped under the water, leaving a gentle ripple behind as it vanished, a brief surge of light passing through the runes carved into the floor and walls.

"And now, we can pass the time with a little dreamscaping." Bill whispered to himself while folding the one eye patch over and closing the remaining eye shut. He seamed to fall asleep instantly, but after enough time passed Bill suddenly squirmed in his sleep and awoke, a sly look on his face. _"CLEVER CLEVER STANFORD, YOU BROUGHT QUITE THE SUPPLY OF DREAM CATCHERS, DIDN'T YOU? WELL, WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, CAN'T WE PHIL?"_

As the cruel expression grew wider on the face of Bill's puppet, he directed the arm to retrieve a vial of fresh red blood from a trouser pocket.

* * *

His mind drifting through darkness, the wiseman crossed the desert smocked in white while the black sands stretched endlessly beneath his feat, the boiling heat of the sun leaving an ever present sizzling pain all over his body, and on top of that, he felt like he hadn't eaten in days. His endless wanderings were not for naught however, for while he couldn't tell how long he had truly been wandering, lost in the unknown desert without sight of anyone familiar to him, the wiseman eventually came upon the Sage in Steel.

A great construct in the shape of a robed woman with hundreds of eyes, the Sage's mouth slid open with a rusty groan, and from the maw the water of life began to flow, and the wiseman drank freely and deeply. Having consumed his fill, knowledge soon returned to the wiseman.

"You didn't really think that would stop me, did you?"

Ford was sitting at a table inside a pleasant little coffee shop. He remembered it quite clearly, despite how long ago his last visit was: It was just down the road from Backupsmore University, and Ford had frequently visited the place during his downtime during his education. Lovely place, probably out of business considering that had been decades ago. The experienced scientist was younger now, a hardworking college student clad in a buttoned shut winter long coat. They'd been a necessity during the cold winter months at the university, and it was here Ford had picked up a life long appreciation for the style of dress.

Across from him, sharing the same table, was Bill Cipher. He was in his glowing triangle form now, gently hovering above his seat and leaning back in the air, holding his cup of coffee despite not having a mouth to drink with. A vibrant crowd of students was moving all around their room center table. "EH, I FIGURED IT WAS WORTH A SHOT."

"I've escaped from an infinite, bizarre expanse that I didn't understand before Bill, even you could guess I'd do it again." Ford continued, and held a hand out to the crowd. Despite neither of them looking at each other, a passing student dropped a sleek, silver revolver into Ford's waiting hand, and without hesitation he brought it about and blew six holes in Bill's body in a single, slick motion. The dream demon seemed unphased by this, even as the holes in his body were frayed with broken bones and leaking blood vessels.

In turn, Bill turned a hand towards the moving crowd, which hadn't reacted to the gunshots, or the six bystanders who were laying on the floor bleeding from over-penetrating bullets, and passed a note to a passing hand. "COME ON SIXER, CAN'T AN OLD TENANT MAKE A SOCIAL CALL?" He asked casually, before melting into a golden puddle all over the chair. In just a moment though, young Dipper Pines popped up from under the table, dressed in a black preacher's outfit. Ford was surprised for a moment, and even dropped his guard for a split second when Dipper smiled disarmingly at him, but that was all Bill needed: Bipper smiled freakishly and jumped up to the table to drive a fork into Ford's hand.

As nonreactive to this as Bill had been to getting shot, Ford coldly accepted a different weapon from the passing crowd, this time a high tech disintegration ray. He fired it at Bill, basking him and a huge number of customers in a wide beam disintegration field, causing them all to melt apart to muck, starting at the skin and proceeding inwards through the body. Bill's triangular form was waiting inside Bipper, while the melted crowd members were swiftly replaced. "The game's up Bill, I've already got your plan figured out. I won't allow you to make Mewni an even worse place."

"YOU DID DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB OF BUSTING MY WAREHOUSE, I MUST ADMIT!" Bill admitted in a dismissive tone, while trading another note for two handfuls of knives, which he swiftly hurled into Ford's body. They sank deep into his center chest and both upper arms. "STILL, I'M NOT WORRIED. MORE MARKET EXISTS THAN JUST MONSTERS YOU KNOW!"

Narrowing his eyes at Bill, Ford unbuttoned the winter coat he was wearing and reached inside, tossing the now damaged books he had stuffed inside his outfit onto the table, all worse for the wear after keeping the knives from sinking into his skin: _Relativity: The Special and General Theory_, _On the Origin of Species, The Divine Comedy, The Caves of Steel, _and _Goth Opera. _After pulling the last book out of his coat, Ford also produced a compact submachine gun and casually riddled Bill and the crowd behind him with a full magazine of bullets. "I'm honestly surprised you weren't trying to arm the Mewmans first. They share your proclivity for mass slaughter."

"I FIGURED THEY'D MAKE THEIR WAY TO MY LITTLE BEAUTIES ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THE MONSTERS HOWEVER, OH THEY NEEDED A HAND." Bill remarked casually, despite the fact at one of his stick hands, which had been moving to pass off another note to the crowd, had been shot to a bloody stump by Ford's attack. His single eye swiveled to focus in on Ford after this.

"THEY MAY BE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF A CURIOUS PEOPLE, BUT I'M SURE I CAN MOTIVATE THEM TO DISCOVERY WITH SOMETHING SUFFICIENTLY APPEALING. SUCH AS, SAY A PROPHETIC DREAM PROMISING A CROWNING ROYAL ACHIEVEMENT, SPREAD TO AN EAGER FOR VALIDATION YOUNG PRINCESS VIA A GROUP DREAM ROOTED IN YOUR MIND, WHICH I WAS ABLE TO DODGE THE DEFENSES ON THANKS TO THE BIG PILE OF BLOOD YOU LEFT ALL OVER MY WAREHOUSE. BY THE WAY, I EXPECT YOU TO COVER MY JANITOR'S HAZARD PAY." Bill explained facetiously, in a smug voice, before planting his only surviving hand on the tabletop, leaning in close and yelling excitedly. "THINK OF ALL THE VILLAGES THESE KNUCKLEHEADS WILL BE ABLE TO WIPE OUT WITH MAXIM GUNS AND TNT AND ZYKLON B!"

Ford narrowed his eyes and glared at Bill with contempt, but quick as lightning, grabbed the hot cup of coffee that had been left on his side of the table and splashed it into Bill's large, singular eye without a blink of hesitation. The demon abruptly began to scream, having made a misstep in the game of the mindscape, allowing Ford to get to his feet and pull his right arm back, hand clenching into a fist. "Scurry back to your newest host Bill!" He spat, and when the fist connected with the demon's eyes, the yellow brick body cracked and began to explode from within. "As long as a single member of the Pines Family draws breath, your evil will NEVER prosper, no matter where in the multiverse you lay your roots!"

The world began to melt as Bill let out a high pitched wail as his form exploded, the patrons dripping to piles of liquid and screaming all the while. Ford simply sat down in his chair and pilfered Bill's coffee from the other side of the table, gently sipping the warm, wonderful memory of a coffee as his chair spun off into a void as the world dissolved, waiting to awaken back to the real world.

Pacifica Northwest meanwhile was running down a grand but dark Gothic hallway, a wisp of brimstone in the air and all lighting provided by flickering orange lamps. She wanted to run faster but found herself stumbling over the high heels and flowing dress she didn't remember putting on. _"Besides," _she thought to herself while slowing down _"Not like I know where I'm going anyway."_

Eventually the winding passages chosen at random deposited Pacifica into a grand, ornate dance room, the door vanishing behind her. A grand ball was in progress, fancily dressed gentlemen and ornate ladies spinning each other around the floor with perfect synchronization. A ominous bell chimed in the distance and the sleek shine of silver permeated the decorations.

The blond girl was swiftly caught up in the movements of the dance floor despite her lack of a partner. The couples would spin and glide all over the floor like they were all of one leaving Pacifica to be pushed around and shuffle herself out of the way. Eventually it was clear that the figures, clad in face concealing, frozen masks of pleasing, angelic humans that were none the less unsettling in their lack of emotion, were guiding Pacifica to the center of the ballroom through their rough, impartial handling.

Being josteled and pushed across the dance floor made Pacifica's head spin and the dancers around her began to blend together, not helped by them already being functionally identical. She felt sick to her stomach and wasn't sure how long she was lost in the blur, but the world did eventually begin to stabilize, vision becoming clear as streaks of color assembled into stable shapes.

She was in the center of the room now, and the crowd had fallen still around her, forming a solid wall of masks and fabric in a perfect circle, but not with her as the center. Pacifica's eyes widened in horror as she realized what the centerpiece of this dark ballroom dance was: Dipper Pines, tied to an ornate chair bolted to the center of the dance floor. He was scratched up, bleeding in places, and blindfolded. His head hung limply to his side, bare neck exposed and vulnerable.

"Pacifica..." he groaned out, sounding disorientated, limply calling into the darkness that covered his eyes. "...I love you."

Pacifica's heart began to race at these words, but not in a good way. She felt overwhelmed, claustrophobic, pressured on all sides, and more than that, she felt hungry. Hungrier than she had ever been in her life.

"Drink, Pacifica." Came a voice from the crowd, and she couldn't tell if it was her mother or father. "Drink deeply and wholly of love struck blood. There will be others to sate future tastes. He has surrendered to you, and is now yours to feed on."

"Drink Pacifica!"

"Drink Pacifica!"

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

The felt herself shrinking in the gaze of the crowd, the grand bells beginning to boom now! She felt her knees buckle and put her hands on her head in fear, then bit her lip from the stress she was overwhelmed with. To her horror, two of her front teeth easily pierced the surface of her lips, sinking into the skin and filling her mouth with the bitter taste of her own blood.

Fangs.

"Pacifica..." Dipper moaned, sounding like he was returning to consciousness, and feeling all the pain that entailed. "I... I love you..."

"Dipper, please no! You can't say those words!" Pacifica begged, not caring that the moving of her lips was resulting in her bloodthirsty fangs piercing her lower mouth over and over, until she was so mumbled by injury and flooded by incredibly sweet blood that she could no longer talk, the grand bell continuing to ring in her ears. Somehow though, even over the endless bell, a voice managed to reach her, softer and more gentle than the lacerated voice of the Dipper in front of her.

"Pacifica..."

"Pacifica... please wake up..."

"I... I need you to wake up..."

Rousing from his own slumber, Dipper soon found himself looking at himself. After blinking a few more times he realized it was his reflection, and that he was staring into the still surface of a body of water. When he straightened his own body up to stretch his arms above his head and yawn to dispel the last of his sleep, he was able to clarify that the body of water was the Gravity Falls lake, where Stan had taken him and Mabel fishing during that first summer. The lake shore, where Stan had later taken him and Mabel stealing, was a distant horizon.

Somehow, the situation didn't seem all that weird, even as Dipper realized he was in a cleanly painted white rowboat. The corner of it that he'd seemingly curled up asleep in had a pair of limp, unattended oars mounted on it, so clearly he'd rowed them out here, then taken a nap. That made sense.

_"Them?" _He questioned himself suddenly, and with a look to the other side of the boat, was able to confirm there was someone else on the boat with him: A girl of some kind, same age as him in a lovey white dress, but her face was obscured by a mass of long blond hair. Dipper frowned a little. Who had he gone boating with again?

"Awake at last, Dippen-dots?" The girl asked. Dipper's frown deepened. He couldn't quite place the voice. It was hot today, he suddenly noticed, the summer sun reflecting off the lake water as dragonflies tapped the surface in erratic, high energy flight patterns.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. Sorry, I guess I nodded off for a bit..." Somehow the general situation didn't seem weird to him, but Dipper was increasingly curious about the blond girl.

"That's typical. I told you your little noodle arms weren't up to the task of rowing me out here for our romantic date, but you insisted on doing it anyway, dork." The girl responded in a voice as light as helium, giggling a little, but her laugh was loaded with a razor point that made Dipper squirm a little. "You just couldn't pass up the opportunity to get a pretty girl alone on a boat with just you... and the _implication_, could you?"

Dipper choked a little as the accusation of the girl actually set in on him, and began to sputter out "NO, it's nothing like that! Look, if you're not comfortable we'll go right back to the shore!" He shouted apologetically before grabbing the oars and trying to move them, only to find they were stuck.

"Oh Dipstick, don't worry, I'm not scared of you or anything. You couldn't hurt me if you tried." The girl explained, getting more mocking sounding as she began to crawl over the boat towards the boy. "C'mere, you little weakling, I'll show you how a real man handles a lady..."

Feeling more profoundly nervous now, Dipper tried to hold the girl back with his foot, her blond hair forming a veil around her face as she advanced on him. "No, that's alright, let's just go back to shore."

"Awwww, what's the matter Dip, I'm not enough for you?" The girl asked, climbing right over his foot and beginning to scale his body. "Am I not musclely and strong and sweaty enough, not too worn out by every other boy in town? Or am I not smart enough to stay by forever, like we promised? Am I just a stupid piece of trash you threw away, because you're so paper thin you couldn't take a little bit of friendly teasing?"

By now, the girl shimmied up Dipper's body and was rubbing her chest against his while her hair cloaked face got dangerously close to his. Feeling encroached on and threatened, Dipper threw back the curtain of hair in front of him to look at the girl's face, and felt himself recoil when it got through to him.

The girl was still blond beyond the blocking curtain, but small hairs with a distinct brown color, the exact same brown he had, curled out of the flowing blond locks seemingly at random. Her eyes were the exact same as Dipper's as well, and the girl had bright red cheeks marks in the shape of hearts on her face. Then, the girl opened her mouth, revealing a set of braces over bright white teeth, and ran her tongue up Dipper's face. "C'mon Dipper, be my forever king! Put that big brain of yours to work and help me exterminate the monster vermin!" She demanded, eyes flashing yellow for a brief moment. "Morality is relative anyways!"

Dipper was squirming and suffocating in her grip now, arms slinking around his throat. "Don't fight me Dipper, you should feel lucky I love you so much. Don't forget who put you on this boat, you unlovable big jerk..." The breaking point proved to be when the girl pressed her knee into Dipper's groin with enough force to make him wince and buckle. Body surging, the boy threw the girl back with as much force as he could muster, sending her tumbling back and over the side of the small boat.

Instantly overcome with remorse, he rushed to the starboard bow and looked in, not wanting to drown this weird person despite how uncomfortable she made him. However, the recent disruption to the water's surface meant he wasn't greeted by his reflection this time, instead it was sight he recoiled from: His hometown of Piedmont, submerged beneath the lake. It was so hard to remember the California town sometimes, so the indistinct, murky vision in the depth was accurate to Dipper's memory. But more concerning was the girl: As soon as he'd put his head over the side, she was trying to crawl back into the boat, muttering "Come home Dipper..." inbetween gasps for air.

Acting on instinct, Dipper shoved his arms down at the blond head emerging from the water, shoving it back underneath the liquid surface. He was recoiling with horror the whole time but couldn't make it stop. The feeling of a wet string encircled and constricted his throat while his arms were frozen in place, feeling like solid metal attached to his shoulders which he had no control over.

Under the water, the girl continued to struggle, he hair blooming out from her head under the water to reveal more and more brown hair, but it was changing somehow, the brown melting away underwater and the strands seemed to fall out and sink to the depths. When the girl bent her neck towards the surface and her throat burst, releasing bubbles into the water and water into her throat, Dipper could see that her braces were rusting and falling off underwater, her cheek marks seemed to be fading, and her dress was coloring itself purple, like she'd been dropped in ink.

Dipper more and more felt like his unresponsive arms were going to fall off, sink to the depths with the girl and possibly rip his shoulders out with them, but finally he regained control and wasted no times hauling the girl out of the water. She was purely blond now, the braces and cheek marks gone, and her eyes had seemingly changed, being their own color now and looking at Dipper with a light of admiration shinning from deep within. Acting on further instinct, the boy brought the girl up to his lips and the two began to kiss, the blond girl swiftly, sweetly surrendering to him by admitting his tongue to her mouth without prompt. Their lips stayed locked together as Dipper dragged her into the boat, freely and without fear, and was swiftly buried under the soft layers of the blond girl's voluminous purple dress.

"...erfly..."

"...Mis...utterfly..."

"MISS BUTTERFLY!"

"WAH, GUAGH! I DIDN'T POKE THE PIE!"

Star awoke in a fumble at the call of her name, tumbling into reality at the angry demand as well as the sudden realization she was sitting in a rather solid chair. _"This isn't the comfy castle chair I'd fallen asleep in..." _She thought to herself. A quick scan around the room caused the princess to gasp with surprise: She was back in an Echo Creek classroom!

"I didn't ask if you did, Miss Butterfly." The mildly annoyed, now distinctly male, voice asked again. Star had been wildly looking around the room, swiftly recognizing it as one she'd attended during her visit to Earth, though at the moment it seemed to be curiously empty of any other students, only her and... "I asked you, as I am asking you again at this moment, what the answer to this SIMPLE math equation is!"

The demanding voice finally got Star to look at the front of the classroom, and the sight she saw made her head freeze in place as she stared forward. In front of the chalkboard, pointing to a math equation she couldn't even read at the moment, was her distant friend and not so secret crush, Marco Diaz.

Only, he was different, Star realized as she blinked several times. He was taller now, stronger looking but not as strong as the version of him from Hekapoo's dimension. He had on a larger version of his "Doctor Marco" costume, glasses included over an increasingly annoyed expression, and a solid wooden yardstick in hand, which was tapping the chalk equation on the board.

Star couldn't answer, couldn't speak, couldn't really tell what the math problem on the board even was for some reason, and rapidly felt her body getting uncomfortably hot all over as it really set in that the two of them were all alone in this classroom. After a few more moments of silence, Marco began to step towards Star's desk, causing the girl to curl up as much as she could in the cramped plastic platform, letting out a small "eeep" when Marco finally came to a stop, looming over her while looking down on the blond.

"Miss Butterfly..." he began, tone of voice somewhat weary and somewhat husky all of a sudden. While speaking, Marco made sure to gently tap the end of his wooden stick against Star's desk. "...I'm starting to believe you may be in desperate need of a stern, lengthy, _disciplining session." _

Star was basically curled up into a red hot ball at this point, heart pounding against her chest and her head feeling like it was on fire. It was suddenly intensely uncomfortable to sit on the classroom seat (well, even more uncomfortable than they normally were) but Star didn't dare stand up or squirm around to alleviate her achy feelings because then she'd just have to look at Marco again, and that would make everything worse. _"I CAN'T do this anymore! Get it in your head Star, Marco is GONE to you! We can't keep feeling like this, no matter how much we want to! He doesn't love us back!"_

"What else are scientific advisers for?"

Star abruptly cracked her eyes open again, despite having closed them as part of her general "curl into a ball" strategy. The voice was different now, still the exact same speaker, at least according to Star's ears, but they had a completely different mood and tone now. The scenery had changed as well, even the seat underneath her! She was still seated though, but this time on comfortable leather. Uncurling herself to a normal posture, Star was suddenly able to feel a crisp breeze on her face, rapidly cooling off her overheated body and letting her blond hair flow behind her.

Looking to her left, the princess realized she was rolling through the Mewni countryside at breathtaking speed. "I'm in a car." Star put together out loud, though it was more old timey than anything she'd ever rode in on Earth and painted a similar bright yellow to the Echo Creek school buses. Looking to her right, her heart skipped a beat as she saw who was driving.

It was Dipper, the new friend from Earth she had made recently, who was wearing a red velvet jacket with matching slacks and a frilly white shirt underneath. He was behind the wheel of the vehicle, expertly maneuvering it through the rolling hills and grassy plains of the countryside. "So, what do you think your majesty? Do you believe the automobile is the right technology for Mewni?" He asked with a disarmingly awkward smile, even while keeping his eyes on the road. It was strange; despite his face being clearly different, the wind passing over them kicking up his hair enough to display a strange birthmark, he spoke with the exact same voice Marco had been using just a moment ago.

_"Marco, where did Marco go!?" _Star asked inside her head, but abruptly stated aloud "Isn't this car backwards?" she asked, focusing on an inconsequential detail instead of her feelings.

"It's an English model." Dipper replied offhand.

"Oh." The Princess muttered. "I don't actually know what that means, but I trust that's an explanation."

"Excellent." The boy behind the wheel responded again. Just as he had the exact same voice as Marco did in her last situation (an odd blend of both boys now that she thought about it) the tone of her companion suddenly got husky and alluring. "Now, shall we seal the deal on this matter, my queen?"

Shivers flew down Star's spine as she was addressed by the title, the implications of the phrase setting in. Suddenly, Dipper was leaning over, lips puckering up to kiss the blond royal! Though frozen in place and burning up from the inside once again, Star couldn't bring herself to move, waiting for contact to land with a small spark of anticipation inside her.

Then, something caught the corner of her eyes.

"THERE'S A WARNICORN IN THE ROAD!" Star yelled suddenly in panic, but even though Dipper jumped back to the wheel to try and swerve out of the way, it was too late. In a brief flash of light followed by a moment of pain, the car had collided with the frozen in fear animal.

Moments later, she opened her eyes again and felt perfectly normal. The princess still had memories of flying through the windshield, but didn't associate any pain with the thought. More concerning to Star was her current predicament.

As far as she could tell, the Mewman princess was hanging upside down, her entire body wrapped up in chains, locked with an oversized padlock on the front of her body and hanging from the ceiling. Down below, a distinguished looking Mewman woman held up a key in a taunting fashion while a gaggle of scaly skinned monsters laughed with her.

"The time of your line has come an end, _Butterfly!_" The woman began triumphantly. Star frowned, but before a megalomaniacal speech could be begun in earnest, the door to the room was being kicked in, drawing all eyes to the entrance.

Striding through the now open pathway was a tall, muscular human warrior, wearing a long red hoodie over an otherwise bare, and extremely muscular chest, and hiding their eyes under the rim of a blue cap. Their legs were covered with tight black leather pants and their feet had riding boots over them. At the waist sat a pair of long swords styled after the two blades of a pair of scissors, like dimensional scissors split apart.

"Good grief, I can't leave you people alone for five minutes without you causing trouble, can I?" The intruder remarked with cocky disdain at the gaggle of villains in a voice Star could only just barely place as being pleasing to her, almost sounding like two people talking at once.

The order was given to kill the intruder as the battle began, and Star watched with amazement as they jumped into action, easily fending off the dozen minions with a relentless display of premium physical might and the expert usage of the two scissor swords, which burst with blue fire. She didn't have to watch for long however, as despite being on the other side of the room, her rescuer quickly set her free.

He had just bashed one lizard minion down the head half handle hilt of one sword, then full body hurled them into the crowd of six rushing in to buy a little time. Free to act, the man sliced his right hand blade through the air, creating a portal that burned with blue fire. The left hand blade was then thrust through the passageway, and something caught in the corner of Star's eye: the other end of the portal was in front of the giant padlock binding her, and the blue hot blade thrust out of the portal into the keyhole, causing the internal mechanisms to melt and the lock to collapse apart!

Star felt the squirming she'd been doing against the tight metal finally give way, and is a glorious flash of light exploded out of the mass of chains, transformed again into the golden butterfly. Floating gently to the ground, she stood back to back with her rescuer, soon to be an equal partner in battle. Around them, their enemies had seemed to multiply, until they stretched forever and it seemed the world was against the two.

"You ready to have a good time Star?" The man asked, staring down the assembled hoards with a confident grin peeking out from under their hat.

"Always and forever." Star replied, grinning herself, and the two jumped in together to a long and exciting battle. The princess felt the familiar rush enter her veins as she made physical contact herself and observed the heroic feats of her companion. She never tired or faltered despite the battle going on forever, though slowly, the action began to fade together, foes and shapes becoming indistinct until Star was acting purely on instinct, straining increasingly unresponsive muscles against a world she wasn't actively perceiving.

_"Did I get knocked in the head?" _She asked herself groggily while straining to open her eyes, a task that seemingly took all Star's effort. When the eyelids finally did slide open, she realized she was back in the renovated guard barracks, and could feel her limbs again.

Yawning gracefully as she awoke from sleep, Princess Star Butterfly briefly wondered what had happened to her, before the vivid memories of Dipper bleeding from the eyes and then a vague golden light appeared. "Oh!" She voiced aloud before picking up a nearby discarded glass and looked at the reflection.

"Dipper! I think it worked! No Glossaryck!" Star said excitedly, but her expression fell as she turned her head around and put the boy in her sight. He was on the other side of the room, having seemingly not heard a word she said, due to being too busy tending to Pacifica Northwest.

"Urgh... Dipper... be gentle..." Pacifica muttered, clearly out of it as the boy from Earth gently cleaned her hair with a damp cloth, trying to get the dried blood out of her blond locks.

"I'm sorry Pacifica, if you're still sore we can wait until you feel better." He responded, comforting and apologetic. The girl simply grunted though, trying to reassure him. The two were extremely close to each other at this point, and were sharing a deep, intimate gaze as Dipper did his best to clean off and comfort the girl after her recent experience.

"Not sore, I feel amazing considering I've just been punched in the head. Just... tired. And I don't like the cold touch. If you couldn't get a finely embroidered dinner cloth you could have at least made it lukewarm temperature." She intentionally whined playfully, and they both smiled at each other a little.

Star watched from across the room with admiration, confusion and growing disappointment as Dipper continued tending to Pacifica, who was seated in a different comfortable chair while the boy was down on a knee in front of her, while an oddly familiar question mark pen sat on a table near the two. Numerous conflicting thoughts were running through the head of the princess as she struggled to decide what to do next. Despite her announcement, the two hadn't seemed to notice her waking up, they were too focused on each other. Getting out of her chair, Star walked over to them softly. They still didn't notice her, and as much as she wanted to cough or something to catch their attention, the blond princess felt like she'd be something wrong in the process. Instead, to keep herself busy, she picked up the weird looking pen, hoping she could just examine it until the humans noticed her.

Her eyes widened in shock however as the pen began to glow and shift in her grip, and before Star's very eyes turned back to the familiar shape of her wand. Speechless and shocked, the princess's wide eyes went from looking down at the wand to up at the two humans, whose attention the lightshow had finally managed to capture. Pacifica looked more confused and surprised than anything else, while Dipper had a sudden look of panic and concern on his face, like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Before any of the three could say a word, there was a knocking on the door. "Star? The servants have told me you've been in here all day. I'm coming in." Came the voice of Queen Moon, with a somber and regretful tone to it that the Earthlings were unfamiliar with. The door to the barracks swung open with a creaking noise, revealing the monarch in all her regalia. She stepped through the opened portal with a regretful, apologetic look on her face and began speaking on automatic. "Star, I'm sorry to let you know that the military team sent out with your friends hasn't... checked..."

All looks of sympathy and regret that were on Queen Moon's face vanished as she abruptly noticed that Pacifica Northwest, one of the missing humans, was sitting alive and well in this room, as well as being intimately close to the boy that was also quite intimately close to her daughter. Her expression deepened into a frown when Stanford Pines stepped out from behind one of the modesty dividers provided by Star's room makeover. He'd been back there examining the spot on his stomach where he'd been wounded the whole time.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise." The Queen intoned, despite not sounding pleased in the slightest. "When the military team didn't check back in I was terribly worried our new visitors from Earth had been lost in the wilderness they'd gone off to, but it turns out they were up here in this room with my daughter the entire time. Now I'm simply left to wonder if anything has befallen my knights?"

"As long as they did what I told them, they should be fine." Ford responded quickly, stepping into the conversation to put himself between Queen Moon and the teenagers. Of course, he actually had no idea what the fate of the knight and squire actually was, and said what he said purely as the opening feint in the duel of words he could tell he was entering. "Unfortunately, the expedition confirmed my worst fears: Bill Cipher has acquired a physical form on Mewni and already has a plan in motion."

Moon remained visibly unmoved by this information, instead continuing her line of questions. "A physical form, I presume in the same fashion as he when he was inhabiting the body of the smuggler?" When Ford nodded affirmatively at this, the queen had a simple demand. "Describe this new body to me."

Ford frowned for less than a split second, but answered none the less. "Some variety of monster, though I doubt Bill has any interest in genuinely helping them, he's totally self motivated. Very human... er, mewman shaped and proportioned, dark red skin, backwards facing horns, and four eyes, with three of them covered with eyepatches."

Moon actually seemed taken aback by this description and blinked at Ford for a moment, before stating "That's not a monster in the slightest, 'archmage,' it's much worse as a matter of fact: Assuming your description is accurate, our mysterious Bill Cipher has possessed the body of a demon."

"I'm sure that's a very meaningful distinction your majesty, but the exact details are lost on the current audience, your daughter excluded, I'm sure." Ford responded, but wasn't quite right. Behind him, the three teenagers had settled in to watch the exchange between their two authority figured, Dipper and Pacifica showing cool, observational interest while Star seemed genuinely taken with the older man's statement. "Could you please explain the political reality of the situation? It could be important to the investigation."

_"What... really is the difference between monsters and demons, anyways?" _Star asked herself inside her head while tapping her chin with a finger. _"Or the Pony Heads for that matter? Or Baby? Or the Commission members?"_

Clearing her throat, Queen Moon began her explanation with an air of grace and mild offense, as if she was explaining basic social customs to someone who had just violated them. "Demons, as they are commonly called, are the inhabitants of the Lucitor Kingdom, a noble, upstanding ally of the Kingdom of Mewni, with a proud and distinguished culture, thriving economy that operates in a mutually beneficial fashion with our own, and a great history of magical achievement." Then, offhandedly, she added "They're quite distinguished from monsters, you see, who are incapable of building or inhabiting civilization of any kind."

_"Okay, so they're the Imperial Japanese." _Ford thought to himself, the pieces starting to make sense and add together the longer he talked to the queen, who seemed blissfully unaware how chilly her offhand statement had made the humans in the room to her. Even Star was looking a little put off and uncomfortable. "Well, they might not be as reliable allies as you believe Queen Moon. We investigated the sight where the knights were found dead, the evidence seemed very clear: I am certain that Bill, in the body of a member of the Lucitor Kingdom, killed the knights because they discovered him conducting a weapons deal of some kind. I can't say for certain it was with monsters, but whoever he was making the delivery to, he didn't want you to find out."

_"Ideally, we would have discreetly removed Bill Cipher and his human weapons from the equation before too many people on either side of this conflict find out, and it potentially gets worse due to his meddling." _Ford thought to himself in the span of a moment. His conversation with the queen was getting tense now, and both could see it in the eyes of the other: both were probing for information and carefully guarding their own. Every word was carefully thought out from here forward. _"But it's too late for that now. Thew mewmans know the general location of Bill's stockpile now, and even if he killed the military escort, they'll find the it sooner or later. I can't stop them from learning about his weapons now, so by being the one to tell them I might be able to earn valuable trust that could be useful for catching Bill, keeping them from understanding the true power of these arms, or stopping them from acquiring a steady supply of ammunition. After all, the kingdom acquiring a crate of loaded machine guns would be bad, but if they can't get more bullets that puts a cap on how much damage they can do."_

_"This crowd... they have a colder, more reserved air compared to Marco. I never knew humans could be so crafty." _Moon thought to herself, mulling over her next choice of words. _"The Lucitor Kingdom... the political reality of our agreement with them is hardly secret. They would eventually find out themselves, with enough time and study. I might as well inform them, perhaps the truth can be the bait with which I'll hook some secrets out of this archmage." _

"We appreciate your discovery, and find your concern touching, but you need not worry Doctor Pines, this is a familiar situation for our two kingdoms." Moon stated, audibly going into lecture mode. Star let out a silent groan, certain her mom was about to begin talking about stuffy royal nonsense, while all three humans in the room payed rapt attention. "The Lucitor Kingdom is a prominent trade partner with the Kingdom of Mewni, and their primary export to us is weaponry. You see, the Lucitor Kingdom is where the souls of the fallen from across the multiverse reside, permeating the fabric of the dimension. In addition to creating many natural wonders like the Soulrise, they represent potent industrial potential. Metal weapons and armor forged in the natural burning the souls undergo creates extremely high quality equipment that is highly receptive to magic enhancement. Which, of course, is one of the prime duties of the Queen, to use the magic wand to bless the brave warriors of Mewni with great strength in times of conflict."

Ford nodded in response, scientific curiosity overtaking his contempt for the moment. "Ah, a soul nexus dimension, interesting." Ford responded, and when Moon didn't immediately respond, he seized the advantage and took over the flow of the conversation. "Some dimensions have the capacity to attract the souls of the departed from nearby dimensions, the little bundles of magic energy that their final electrical brain impulses imprint onto upon death. My students and I have studied the phenomenon, and while we do not have a concrete theory for how this property emerges, it's observable in dozens of dimensions across the multiverse, most of which gain mythological significance as "realms of the dead" for nearby dimensions, whose souls get drawn in. We suspect it's a sort of spiritual equivalent to how extremely high mass celestial objects like planets and suns can attract smaller objects into orbits around them through their influence on gravity."

The veteran scientist explained the concept like he was explaining something as simple blood typing. Star seemed completely surprised by and non-comprehensive of what she'd just heard, having only vaguely understood the Underworld as "that place those jerks lived" before now and knowing it had kind of a soul motif to a lot of things. She looked to the side, hoping the other teenagers would be just as confused as she was, but instead felt herself shrink a little when she saw Pacifica had been hanging on every one of Ford's words with rapt, enlightening interest, clearly able to get what he was saying, and being amazed by it, while Dipper with beaming with pride for his mentor.

Even Moon seemed to have been put on the back foot by the sudden burst of knowledge, with Ford clearly understanding more than she had anticipated. Even worse, this had taken her by enough surprise that her normally perfectly reserved, well controlled expression briefly betrayed her surprise, and she knew full well Ford had caught her. "And for the record, I'm familiar enough with soul foraging to know it's totally barbaric. Particularly when you're grinding up the souls of the dead to make weapons to make more dead." He added on with a hint of self-righteousness, unable to resist pressing a button or two.

"Well, it seems your research is incomplete then." Moon replied, getting a tone of steely confidence back. "The foremost magical experts on the subject have confirmed that the post-mortem soul is not a true representation of the deceased being. It is incomplete, damaged into sub-mewmanity during the process of death, making it acceptable for use in industrial processes. Numerous treaties between our two kingdoms ensure living souls are not put into these processes." She explained, gaining an air of superiority to her tone.

_"Yes, I'm sure you managed to find a completely non-biased and objective set of researches to produce that conclusion." _Ford thought to himself, but held his tongue. The Queen believed she had regained the conversation and was set to reveal more information.

"However, we have strayed off topic." Moon stated, moving the flow back to the matter at hand. "The role Bill Cipher is playing is one that is familiar to us. While the relationship between the Kingoms of Lucitor and Mewni is an extremely close, mutually beneficial one solidified by several prestigious treaties, political dissidents will always exist. The Underworld has a small but tenacious anti-Mewni element to its political landscape, mostly among commoners and the unlanded merchants. They sometimes worm their way into a place of small influence inside the extensive arms industry that employs large sections of the kingdom's population, and use this corruption to deliver small shipments of soul forged weapons to extremist monster groups out of misplaced sympathy for their causes, or simply for personal profit. Various treaties and regulations forbid royally chartered arms companies, which is all of them, from doing any kind of business with monsters."

Ford seemed to find this political intricacy quite intriguing, openly cracking an eyebrow in contemplation as Moon explained it all. "The Lucitor royal family has, of course, been extremely cooperative in eliminating this mutual threat to the political stability of all kingdoms and the safety of their citizens. Their intelligence assets are always on the lookout for such activity, and information regarding suspected instances of weapon smuggling are freely traded between our two realms. Lucitor and Butterfly military assets have even cooperated for arrest actions against these smugglers. If this is the profession Bill Cipher has decided to step into, he will be captured in short order. He's made a very unwise career choice you know."

"Bill has more influence and knowledge than you could imagine, it won't be a simple matter of just kicking his door down and putting him in handcuffs. Your High Commission already made that mistake." Ford replied, getting a grave tone to his voice. "He'll have contacts, back up plans, pawns and minions. This has to be more than just a regular smuggling job, that's too ordinary for him. He'd never be content posing so little of a threat."

"Then what, pray tell, is the greater threat, Doctor Pines?" Moon asked, tilting her head forward in a dry expression of questioning. "What precisely was it that you found at the ambush site that has convinced you Bill poses such a large threat, and that motivated you to use what I presume is some form of magic to escape and abandon your escort in the process?"

Ford felt his throat dry for a moment. _"This woman... Queen Moon... she's a brilliant politician! She could tell right away I was being defensive and secretive about what we actually found out at the ambush site and maneuvered the conversation so I would have no choice but to answer her!_" The six fingered old scientist was frozen and quiet for a moment, just long enough to make the pause awkward and the change in conversation noticeable to everyone in the room. _"Stanley would never have fallen for this!" _Ford berated himself for a moment before moving to damage control.

"As I explained, I believe your knights were killed because they discovered a weapons trade, and my investigation of the area uncovered a small underground cache where the merchandise in question seemed to have been stored. Unfortunately, Pacifica and I discovered the room space was heavily trapped, likely to eliminate any investigators since only a small amount of merchandise remains stored there. Most of it seems to have been sold and carried off already." Ford effortlessly lied. "Once we stepped inside, a mechanism sealed the place, forcing us to use our dimension traveling magic to escape to Earth, then travel here to get back to Mewni and circumvent the trap." Then, he leveled at Moon with a grave expression. "However, what we did see there, combined with what you've told me, suggests Bill may have a high level on influence with the elite of the Lucitor Kingdom. The weapons he had stored there were highly advanced, not the kind of things a politically sympathetic night manager could make go missing in the crunch of inventory. After all, by your own admission you had no idea what killed those knights, correct? If it was a regular soul forged sword that had done it, you would have recognized the fact right away, correct?"

The last statement by the archmage before her actually seemed to give Moon pause. As much as she didn't want to admit it, something was wrong. In all the occasions of anti-Mewni demons getting a line of supply and funneling weapons to monsters, it was back row stuff, surplus inventory and overproduction that wouldn't be missed, not high end prototypes that the Queen hadn't even been informed existed, and the Lucitor Kingdom was always quick to inform their ally when a new design or model was being experimented with by the blacksmith demons. Always eager for an investment or an advanced deal. _"Of course, all this need to be confirmed by more reliable sources, but I have put him in a position where he is most likely being truthful. He seemed sufficiently inexperienced that I doubt he could spin together such a convincing falsehood in the limited time he has had to do so."_

"Do you have anything else to report about your expedition, Doctor Pines?" Moon asked, steely expression returning again.

"No your majesty." Ford responded, equally steely and reserved now.

"Then I presume our meeting is over, provided no one else has anything to add?" Moon asked, casting her eyes over the teenagers in the room before settling on her daughter. "Star, come with me. I need to discuss royal matters with you in private."

"Yes mom." Star replied and trotted forward unusually dutifully. Even she was able to feel the heaviness of the conversation that had gone down and knew now wasn't the time for her usual argumentativeness with her mother about royal matters.

As soon as the door shut behind the two Butterfly women, Dipper opened his mouth to say something but was silenced by a gesture from Ford. The elder scientist retrieved a stethoscope from one of his supply bags and held it to the wooden door. After confirming no one outside was listening, he turned to his two teenage students. "Now that we have some privacy, I imagine there's quite a lot we need to all fill each other in on..."

Further away, Moon led Star to an isolated corridor of always, and after casting a basic wandless spell that told the queen the two weren't being listened to, she turned to face Star with a very serious expression.

"Star, I need you to tell me everything."

_**Author's Notes**_

_Well, I hope everyone reading this enjoys __dialogue and dream sequences! Right, I'm sorry for making this chapter so heavy on exposition between the characters, but a lot of important concepts needed to trade hands between all the players here. Plus a few Bill-meddled (or were they?) dreams to make sure everyone's got their personal demons on their minds for the upcoming adventure they'll have to face. I hope this plot still makes sense to everybody reading and I welcome all your opinions on it. Thank you for reading._


	6. Starfari

_Hello readers! Notes are at the beginning of the chapter this time, you'll understand by the end. Fair warning, this ones a big read, the largest singular chapter I've written for a fanfic by a vast margin, so buckle in once you start this ride down. It's also, in my opinion, one of the most important chapters I've written for this ongoing AU crossover plotline, with a lot of tone and character bits getting explored here. I hope you enjoy yourselves. _

* * *

"...I'm telling you mom, after we talked over breakfast Dipper spent the day helping me with a magic problem. That's it." Star told her mother insistently. The two were still clustered in a dusty corner of this wing of the Butterfly Castle, Queen Moon having quite sternly demanded to know everything about the day her daughter spent with the younger Pines man.

"What manner of magic problem, exactly?" Moon asked, a quizzical eyebrow raised up at her heir and daughter.

"Just... you know... fine tuning a little defensive magic. Gotta be on our guards with Bill about after all!" The princess replied anxiously. Having just gotten over a fresh guilt trip about the death of her mentor and a disturbing trip through the depths of magic, all Star wanted to do was leave this experience behind as a solved problem and felt increasingly uncomfortable as her mother questioned her about it.

"I see... and what exactly did this 'fine tuning' consist of?" Moon asked skeptically, looking at her daughter with an impassive face that none the less cracked with worry in a few places. "Am I to take it that the so far circumstantial magic knowledge of our visitors from earth is genuine then? Did he know what he was talking about?"

"Absolutely." Star replied confidently, without a moment of thought about it. Looking down at her wand and biting the bottom of her lip before adding on "I mean, a lot of the time I still don't really think I know how this wand works, it feels like crazy stuff just sort of happens because of it and I have to sort it out just by instinct, but Dipper... he sounded like he could take it apart and put it back together he knew so much about how it worked. Everything he said worked as well." Then with a voice and expression that was simultaneously annoyed, dismissive and regretful, Star muttered "Would have come in really handy while Toffee was living in here..."

Moon, however, looked startled by Star's explanation. "He... understands the wand? To what extent? Star, did Dipper attempt to manipulate you into letting him use the wand?" The Queen asked, a tone of both royal and motherly concern to her voice.

"What! No no no no!" Star answered defensively while waving her hands in front of her. "I didn't mean the wand in particular, he just... seems to understand what magic is really well. Talkin' bout wavelengths and frequency and 'energy to matter conversion,' whatever that is, uh..."

Moon's eyes were becoming narrow at this point, as her suspicion was beginning to mount. "Yes, and all the extra equipment he'd brought in helped with all those things?" She asked, and when Star's eyed widened in response, she followed up with "I'm not as old and blind as you think Star. You brought those three straight to me after you dug them up somewhere, and the bags they had on them were completely insufficient to hold all the equipment scattered around that room. One of them must have returned to earth to collect more equipment at some point, and I am presuming it was Dipper, just this afternoon. Am I wrong?"

Star was visibly nervous now, and with a noticeable tremble responded. "Uh... those backpacks were bigger on the inside?" with a noticeably fake and nervous smile. When Queen Moon simply glared at her, Star swiftly cracked. "OK, you're right! Dipper remotely activated his portal and went back to earth for the extra equipment to help me! Okay! There!"

Moon did soften her expression a little at this, lightly tilting her head into one gloved palm as she gave her daughter an almost glum look. "Star, I'm sorry about that, but as your mother I'm worried about you." She explained, concern on every word. "Why are you suddenly so protective of this earth boy's secrets? You've only just met him, and I can tell him and his elder are keeping secrets from us."

Star, in turned, visibly softened, making an effort to argue less with her mother after their recent adventures together. "He... he asked me to not talk about the portal much, I'm sorry." Star remarked, nervously wrapping some of her long blond hair around a finger. "They just want to keep a low profile since they're hunting Bill and all..."

Her voice becoming more firm now while still retaining an air of understanding to it, Moon responded with "I can understand that Star, but surely you can understand that we need to keep some degree of knowledge about them as well? Hekapoo is getting quite worked up about a source of dimensional travel she has no knowledge of, since it is her purview after all." Then, with a little note of humor, Moon added "It would be best if you could just tell us now rather than let her try to get the information herself."

Chuckling a little, Star answered "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, okay, based on what Dipper explained to me, they have a big gate back on earth that sits in one place and opens portals to anywhere else in the multiverse." Clearly struggling to put it into exact words, she continued with "Like, imagine the dimensional scissors were the size of a house, so you couldn't carry them anywhere but the house IS the portal! And they built it largely by themselves and the rest of the world doesn't even know about other dimensions existing."

"How do they get back after they travel to a different dimension if they can't bring the magic device with them?" Moon asked, momentarily struck by genuine curiosity.

"They've all got these little disks they carry that have switches on them. Throw the switch and a portal opens up back to earth." Star replied.

"Interesting." Moon answered, eyes narrowing as she rubbed her chin. "And, in your opinion Star, do you think it is likely that these humans invented this device by themselves? Does it seem within their... capacity, to do so? Based on both your time with Dipper and your previous experience with earth?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Star answered, perking back up! "They've got tons of amazing things on earth, I think it's pretty great! And with a human who knows as much about magic as Dipper does? I'm sure they could figure this out. Plus, he's only the student! Who knows what Stanford could really do!?"

Moon did not share her daughter's enthusiasm at the description of the earth dimension, but none the less adopted a lighter tone towards her despite sounding somewhat weary and sarcastic with her daughter. "Well, I'm sure all of that will be very useful for the eventual diplomatic evaluation. You should visit the library sometime and dust off the political treatises on dimensional first contact. Depending how what rate of advancement the humans are working on, it could very well be your duty as queen to welcome them to the interdimensional stage and provide evaluation to them." Then, with a somewhat tighter curl of her lip, the ruling queen added "In addition, I would suggest you try and make such evaluations from a more... objective, point of view. Emotional distress is a perfectly normal thing Star, but it cannot influence your decisions as queen." Then, with an outright nasty snap of the voice, Moon remarked "Particularly not when there potential lechers hanging around."

The princess seemed confused and a little taken back by her mother's last few sentences, and these feelings were written onto her face. Before Star could try to articulate though, Queen Moon cut to her point, speaking much more bluntly. "What I'm trying to say, Star, is that you must not allow this... Pines boy, to take advantage of your current, desperate desire for an earth boy. Your feelings will pass, but mistakes will not." As Star began to stutter denials in response to this, Queen Moon simply pierced her with a withering gaze and continued speaking. "After all, he has so much to potentially gain from you: military secrets, access to the magic wand, better trade deals for earth, forbidden lore, and of course... well, what do all boys his age want? Some _you know what..."_

"WOW! Okay mom! Point made! Trust no one! It isn't like that! I'm telling you!" Star burst out, her face getting progressively redder and redder as her mother prodded at all her recent emotional troubles and then began insinuating. Huffy and flustered, the princess made a transparent attempt to change the subject by hurriedly asking "Look, what did you mean earlier about, what, evaluating humans?"

Moon, of course, saw right through her daughter's attempt to shift topics, but felt like the emotional outburst Star was undergoing indicated that she had gotten through to the girl, and knowing there would be very few other times Star would be actively asking about her future royal duties, decided to play along with her daughter. "Well Star, it has been some time since it last happened, but when the Kingdom of Mewni comes in contact with a new species of sapient beings, either within our dimension or outside it, it is the final duty of the queen to decide if they are monsters or not." The monarch explained with an almost casual tone of voice, though Star suddenly felt her emotional humiliation flushed away by a chill down the spine. "She will consult with numerous experts and diplomats of course, launch inquiries, hold summits, the process can take months. I'm not immediately familiar with the exact steps and methods of course, as my reign has never had such an event, but the relevant tomes on the process are within your reach, stored in the royal library."

"And... you think it might fall to me to make that decision about humans some day?" Star asked, a clear tone of worry on her face as her hands wrapped around the wand, holding it close as a security object.

Moon, however, seemed nonplussed by the question. "If they're building their own dimensional portals, then one of us is going to need to. It all depends on how quickly they're actually developing." she explained, then added dismissively "I wouldn't worry though. Based on my own impressions, I suspect they will prove themselves higher than monsterhood. Even if I don't quite trust these three humans we are hosting right now, good ones clearly exist and your father and I were both impressed by some of their technology during our visit."

"Hey mom..." Star asked, nervously chewing the inside of a cheek for a moment before continuing. "...What actually is the difference between a monster, and say, a demon?"

This question actually seemed to rouse Moon from her lecturing mode for a moment, as she looked down at Star with complete surprise. She felt like her daughter had just asked her what was the difference between a bucket of water and a piece of fruit. "Star... I thought that would be immediately obvious?" The queen responded. Out of the thousands of questions and potential talks she's imagined and planned to have with her daughter, in relation to her potential future struggles as both a queen and a woman, this wasn't one of them. It had never occurred to Moon that Star would need this explained to her. "Monsters do not create kingdoms Star. They do not have the intellectual capacity for art, economy, magic or rulership, unless it is fostered onto them by an outside source. They are..." Suddenly, Moon's words were a little less certain, remembering her surprising encounter with Buff Frog while on the run. "...not, inherently immoral or evil, but intellectually, they will always be inferior to the Mewman people and their allies, and would be best served submitting themselves to our directives." She finished with a confident note.

Despite this being a less harsh stance than what she herself had once believed, Star found herself troubled by the blunt condemnation coming from her mother, and sort of quivered uncomfortably in place at it. Her mother picked up on this in short order, adding that "I understand that's not the most precise explanation, but if you'd like I can arrange a meeting with the kingdom's monster expert, Dr. Jelly Goodwell, I am confident she can put any doubts of yours to rest."

"Thanks mom." Star replied somewhat flatly.

"You're welcome Star." Moon answered on a brighter tone. "Now, is there anything else you'd like to ask me?"

"No, I think I'm good."

"Excellent!" Moon said happily while clapping her hands together. "Now, speaking of demons, I need to oversee preparations for the upcoming Silver Bell Ball. Have a good evening Star!" The princess let out an audible huff of disgust as her mother walked away, before looking out the window and realizing it was quite late by now.

"Wow, I really did just spend the entire afternoon with Dipper after all." She mused to herself, while looking through a window at the setting sun. Blinking briefly, Star smiled when it hit her that there was no dead Glossaryck staring back at her. "Time well spent!" she mused while twirling her wand around, newly confident in her defensive magic. Beginning a walk back to the refurbished barracks, Star briefly had a worried expression of her face but swiftly cheered herself up. "Mom's just being a big unfair booger, as always. I'll wish my friends a good night then head to sleep myself."

After a moment however, she looked down at her magic wand with a more troubled look, and glanced from side to side to make sure her mother was no longer present. "I am glad she didn't find out about Dipper taking you for a ride though."

* * *

Inside the barracks in question, while the queen and her heir had been having their conversation, Stanford Pines had initiated a conversation between himself and the two teenagers in his care about the recent actions of all present. It proved to be a swift, frank explanation of previous events by everyone involved.

"...And when I woke up I noticed Pacifica was hurt, so I used the wand on her. It didn't come as automatically as when I healed Great Uncle Ford, but, well, you're awake and active now..." Dipper finished explaining, going over the last of recent events. With a sad look, he looked Pacifica in the eyes, and spoke apologetically. "Paz, I'm... I'm sorry I left you sitting like that for so long, I should have healed you right after I healed him, but, I, I just..."

The blond girl just gave the teenage boy and understanding look and put a warm hand on his shoulder. "Hey, it's alright." She stated. "It sounds like you got really crazy hopped up on magic back there, and weren't really, well, in control of yourself." Then, with a little giggle, she added "Besides, I feel fine now, so your second go worked. Better late than never!"

"But, Pacifica..." Dipper mumbled with guilt, "...I let you fall asleep while you potentially had a concussion! And, I had to do magic brain surgery on you! That's both way more complicated than what I had to do for Ford, plus I didn't have the whole ethereal guidance thing going on so if something goes wrong it's all my fault..." Both other humans in the room recognized the warning signs of Dipper getting close to a self-loathing spiral, but the lone girl stopped his chattering by leaning forward and hugging him.

"Dipper... you can't be so hard on yourself." Pacifica said warmly before drawing back to look Dipper in the eyes. "You did an amazing thing for me back there, and I know you did the best anyone could have in that scenario. And I know that because you're Dipper Pines." Drawing back ever further and taking her hands off the boy's shoulders, the blond teenager adopted something of a jokingly haughty tone before adding. "After all, I'd accept only the smartest and most capable person in the world to be my best friend."

Going quiet for a moment as a soft, warm light filled him up inside, Dipper smiled a soft but genuine smile before leaning in so the two were hugging again, this time with him hugging her. This seemed to take the blond girl by surprise, as her face dropped from amused to mortified as it fit into place over his shoulder. "Thank you for that Pacifica." Dipper said with a sort of needy affection. "You're the best."

_"Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no no no nonononono! It wasn't supposed to go here! I can't do this to Dipper!" _Pacifica frantically thought to herself, but was frozen in place and unable to disengage, despite judging it the moral thing to do. Luckily for her, Dipper ended the hug of his own violation when Stanford spoke up.

"I agree with Pacifica, as a matter of fact." The old scientist explained. "You frequently sell yourself short Dipper. You are one of the most exceptional individuals I have ever had the good fortune to know so personally, and if anything about or magical fixes goes wrong, I'm will be certain it was something no one could have changed." Then, Ford pressed a hand to the section of stomach that had been punched through not long ago. "For the moment, everything feels perfectly normal on my end. Better than new even, I've had a budding hernia in this section of my stomach that's completely gone now." He remarked idyll while squeezing a section of skin through his shirt.

Dipper was feeling really pleasantly warm inside as some of the most important people in his life filled him with confidence, to the point a small tear rolled out of one eye. "Thanks you two. That really means a lot to me." He responded, while wiping it away. "And if anything else goes wrong, well, we've got the brains between the three of us to conquer anything, right?"

"Undoubtedly." Ford responded, while moving to the center room table. The warm atmosphere dimmed in the room as it was obvious by the older man's posture that it was time to talk business. The teenagers didn't mind however; the moment didn't feel like it had been cut short or anything, they had had it and were ready to move on.

Ford was making a half-hearted attempt to wipe off the layer of his own blood that had coated their complementary magic map of the country, and quickly gave up when the obvious was confirmed: Using the center table as an impromptu surgical bed had resulted in the map being ruined. With a hand on his chin, Ford began to ruminate. "We need to figure out who exactly Bill was advertising those weapons to. I had hoped we could consult this map and simply investigate the settlements closest to the ambush sight, but I don't actually know if it would include maps of monster settlements as well. Wherever it is though, it must be close, since it seems like everyone arrived on foot..."

Dipper opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when a distant sound tickled his ear. "Do you guys hear something?" he asked, and moments later got an answer.

"WOOH, OKAY, QUEEN BUZZKILL IS GONE! HOW'S IT HANGING ALL!?" Star announced boldly as she kicked down the door to the barracks and stepped in with an extremely excited look on her face, only to falter somewhat as everyone inside was looking morose and contemplative, turning towards her with bewildered faces. "Uh, right, sorry about that..." she remarked while gently closing the door behind her. "So, what's up everyone?"

"Not much, just, you know, Great Uncle Ford and Pacifica filled me in on what they ended up discovering." Dipper explained, first to respond and take control of the situation. "They found evidence Bill is behind the dead knights, and we need to investigate all the monster settlements closest to the transaction site." Then, he gestured limply towards the map. "Unfortunately, our map is a little... unreadable right now, and I'm not sure if it had monster settlements on it anyways..."

Star's cheek marks briefly became light bulbs as she hit on an idea. "Oh, that's no problem!" She said excitedly. "I can introduce you guys to the kingdom's monster expert tomorrow! I'm sure they could help you figure out where you need to look next!"

"That would be most helpful Princess Butterfly." Ford responded next, keeping a guarded but still pleasant tone with the girl. "Might we discuss the exact details over breakfast tomorrow?"

"Oakie-dokie! Sounds great!" Star responded happily, taking steps backwards while pointing her fingers at the group. "Sleep well everybody!" She said goodbye before delicately opening the door and then slamming it shut as she left. After a moment of silence in the renovated bedroom, Ford took his glasses off and wiped the lenses with his shirt.

"It is rather late, isn't it?" Ford asked no one in particular while seeming to notice that fact for the first time. "Perhaps we should get some rest. It sounds like we have another expedition on our schedule tomorrow."

The two teenagers hadn't really noticed until Ford made mention of how late it was, but both were rather tired, Pacifica letting out a yawn while Dipper's eyelids got heavy. "That's... huuuuuuhh... weird, we just woke up..." The blond wondered, but Ford had a quick answer. "Restless sleep, common when dealing with magic, nothing to worry about. You two decide who uses the divider first, I'm going to set up an alarm clock and more dream interceptors."

On the other side of the door, Star hadn't fully walked away yet. She was leaning against the wooden barricade, holding her wand tightly in her hands and trying to reach a decision. Looking down at the tool of magic, she whispered to her the family heirloom like it was a confidant to her deepest secrets. "Tomorrow. I'm going to try and make it work tomorrow."

* * *

That evening passed without further incident for any of the castle's sleepers, and when the morning came around the earthlings were enjoying another royal breakfast alongside the princess, with the king and queen absent once again. "...though ah did ruhn inta mahm on thah way here, anh she told meh how tah get tah the expert's office." Star was explaining the queen's absence and recent actions with her mouth still full of food. Pacifica and Ford had trouble understanding what she was trying to say the entire time, up until she swallowed near the end of her sentence, but Dipper had been following along the entire explanation and nodding gently when appropriate.

"And you don't mind securing us more transportation once we identify the most likely settlement?" Dipper asked, then rubbed his arm nervously. "I mean, we did kinda lose the last one..." In response to this though, Star just gave a dismissive wave of the hand while putting more food in her mouth.

Further conversation was cut off, however, as a dimensional portal abruptly cut itself open in the dining room. A faint breeze carrying soft embers rolled forth from the gateway, and soon after Hekapoo of the Magical High Commission stepped through. "Your majesty." she greeted Star formally, before turning a much harder look at the three humans. "Earthlings." she added offhandedly. Then, the master of the scissors focused her attention on Stanford.

"Doctor Archmage Stanford "Ford" Pines..." Hekapoo rambled off teasingly, with an air to her that she was in control and knew something no one else in the room was aware of. "The Magical High Commission of the Kingdom of Mewni is issuing a summons for you. We have some questions we'd like to ask you, in the name of extra-dimensional security. The summons is effective immediately." Without missing a beat, Hekapoo cut another hole in the world, this one leading to a clearly different dimension based on the lack of drifting embers, one of which had ignited a napkin that Dipper was frantically trying to extinguish.

"Hey, hold on a second, you can't just..." Star spoke up indigently, before Stanford held up a hand and offered his own rebuttal, cutting the princess off with his deep voice.

"It's alright prin... Star. I appreciate your support but I have no problem answering a few questions for the proper authorities." The man explained with steely confidence. "Lecturing is something I have quite the talent for as a matter of fact."

Speaking as if she was trying to reassure her, Hekapoo said to Star "No worries princess, it's just a formal debriefing of yesterday's events. Your mother will be there and everything." But the tone of scissor smith still had a disconcerting edge of superiority to it. Nonetheless, Star did sit back down at this statement.

Ford got out of his chair in short order, wiping off his lips with a napkin while giving the two human teenagers at the table a knowing look, causing their expressions to shift from concerned to determined. "Don't worry yourself about me children, I'm sure this will be cleared up in short order. Stay safe while I'm gone." He instructed with a very deliberate tone, and soon after had stepped into the portal, leaving the teenagers alone in the dining hall.

"I can't believe her..." Star muttered while folding her arms over her chest, while Dipper and Pacifica seemed calm after taking a few moments to steady themselves. Dipper, in particular, was getting out of his own chair and slinging his hat on while his posture shifted into work mode. With a mildly nervous smile, he looked right at the princess and tried to reassure her.

"I wouldn't worry about Great Uncle Ford, he's survived worse than her. Besides, he already came out of one meeting with your Commission, hasn't he?"

In response, Star got up and grinned a little. "Yeah, you're right!" She looked over at the two humans and proudly pointed a thumb towards herself. "Well, it seems like the chains of command fall upon Princess Star today!"

"Looks like it." Dipper says with a playful tone, as both him and Pacifica smile slightly at the royal blond, happy to see the mission was still on. "So, are we off to see the monster expert then?"

"Yep!" Star expressed with an air of good cheer. "I was actually dreading this as a stuffy journey through records last night, but when I talked to mom this morning she described Doctor Goodwell as 'bizarrely sympathetic' to the monsters, but too much of an expert to actually get rid of." While explaining this, Star had made finger quotes while saying the phrase "bizarrely sympathetic" in a dismissive, mocking tone. "So this might even be fun!"

Pacifica, however, just looked aside towards Dipper, whispering "Is that what she was talking about earlier? I couldn't understand a thing she had said."

"You learn to understand people with their mouths full really quick living with Mabel." Dipper whispered back.

A short walk through the halls and a few wrong doors later, the group of three found themselves admitted to a densely stuffed office room, shelves and book cases and walls covered in samples and maps and literature, which the humans were quick to examine while Star approached the old, short Mewman woman behind the desk. "So, you're Doctor Jelly Goodwell?" the princess asked.

"Why yes, yes I am your majesty. How might I be of service today?" The monster expert replied in a formal, somewhat stiff tone. "I have the latest population calculations and strategic estimates Queen Moon asked for, but I presume you're here for something else? Even if we're in the aftermath of an invasion I doubt her majesty would user her heir as a paper gopher."

Around the room, Pacifica was examining a wall chart showing a small, frog like creature slowly pulling itself out of a body of water, changing in phases to an upright biped similar to a human, then devolving right back to a small animal and crawling back into a different body of water on the other side of the poster. Dipper, meanwhile, was flipping through a research publication. "Huh, this is all really well organized..." he muttered appreciatively.

"Well, you're right actually. I actually need your input on figuring out where a monster settlement might be." Star responded, placing a folded up map on the desk in front of her, upon which the location of the deal had been marked with an X. "We believe a band of monsters all met at this location, and they seemingly traveled on foot. Do you have any idea where they might have come from?"

Doctor Goodwell adjusted her glasses and looked at the map carefully, a look of displeasure getting on her face as she analyzed it. When she looked back up at Star, the expert spoke with a measured tone, polite but somewhat strained. "In accordance with the demand of her majesty Princess Star, I shall inform you that a prominent monster settlement does, in fact, exist close to the designated location. Right here in fact." Goodwell then proceeded to draw a circle on the map in black ink a short distance away, before hastily speaking up again. "But, as the Kingdom of Mewni's duly appointed monster expert, it is my duty to attach a memo to this information! This settlement is extremely important to our observational understanding of monsters and to the monster ecosystem itself! While it is, of course, not my place to challenge the final decisions of the Queen, I must insist as strongly as my position allows that this settlement not be endangered or interfered with, even in light of the recent invasion!"

The words of the monster expert and the conviction behind them seemed to take both humans in the room by surprise, as they ceased their poking around to look straight at her. Dipper, who had been examining the skull of a monster that he had discreetly liberated from a glass case, spoke up with surprise "Why not? I imagined the monster expert would be the mewman who is the biggest expert on getting rid of monsters?"

"Certainly not, you impudent young hooligan!" Doctor Goodwell responded indigently. "The Kingdom of Mewni's science of Monsterology has come a long way from the barbarity of Queen Solaria's live dissections! While I have, of course, always fulfilled my duty and obeyed the orders of the Queen in monster matters, I am ultimately the strongest advocate for an end to monster interference in Mewni!" Then, with a more wistful tone, added that "They really can be beautiful creatures, if you get to know them. But so few mewmans seem to appreciate that..."

Dipper and Pacifica traded pleasantly surprised looks at this revelation while Star was wide eyed and bouncing on her feet at the explanation. "This is even better than I had hoped!" The princess stated cheerfully, suddenly leaning in really close to Doctor Goodwell's face. "Doctor, I think Mewni treats monsters unfairly as well! I never realized someone so prominent agreed with me!"

Rather than react negatively to Star's invasion of her personal space, the monster expert seemed overjoyed with this revelation. "I KNEW that sooner or later, someone inside the royal family would be enlightened enough to appreciate my advocating for preservation!" She breathed in relief, before suddenly clamming up when she realized what she'd implied about the reigning queen. "Um, that is to say..."

"Ah, don't worry about royal protocol around me Doc." Star replied, leaning an elbow on the desk in a casual fashion. "Let's just say me and the queen don't see eye to eye on A LOT of things. That includes the treatment of monsters!"

Quickly becoming visibly less worried, Doctor Goodwell and Star engaged enthusiastically with each other while Dipper and Pacifica had stopped rummaging around completely to watch them approvingly, the boy even opting to put back a history book he had pocketed and planned to read later. "I knew there was just something good about Star." Dipper remarked with both admiration and relief, in a quiet enough voice that only him and the girl next to him could hear. "I know great uncle Ford doesn't really like this dimension for some, well, justified reasons, but I'm glad we seem to be finding the exceptions."

Pacifica nodded, a small but warm smile on her face as well. "Yeah, Star really just... gets it. Just how absurd and cruel all this upper class social business can be. And it seems like she figured it all out on her own." She remarked, glancing towards Dipper in the process and unconsciously wrapping her hand around his. "I would never have changed without your help."

While Pacifica hadn't consciously meant to hold hands with him, Dipper certainly consciously felt it, and initially stumbled over a response. "Don't... ah, sell yourself short Paz..." he remarked uncertainly, but was saved from further dialogue here by a faked cough from Doctor Goodwell. She and Star were no longer talking, both instead looking at the humans with somewhat inscrutable looks on their faces, Star seeming more conflicted while Jelly was obviously annoyed.

"As the princess had clearly just stated..." The monster expert remarked in a drawl that gave away that she knew the two hadn't been paying attention. "...The two of you have the most information on the new threat to the monster habitat, is that correct? Would you be so kind as to approach the table and explain it, precisely?"

"Ah, of course!" Dipper replied with a flustered tone, quickly separating his hand from Pacifica's and awkwardly trotting up to the table. The blond would have been right behind him, but her eyes caught with Star's for a moment, and they seemed to share a look with each other while Dipper was hastily explaining things to Doctor Jelly Goodwell. Neither of them were entirely sure what the mutual look meant in full, but both were well aware it happened. Both were roused from the partial trance however, by the sound of the monster expert suddenly speaking in a louder, grievously offended tone of voice.

"That is simply dreadful! Interference with the natural monster ecosystem of such scale and barbarity! It's... it's... despicable!" Doctor Goodwell raged after Dipper had explained the truth of the matter. "Princess Butterfly, rest assured you shall have my full assistance resolving this matter! I propose an immediate expedition to the monster habitat, as soon as you are possibly able to!"

"That's great actually! I had planned on spending the day doing this, so we can leave whenever you're ready!" Star answered enthusiastically. Finally, it felt like she was going to make real progress on her goals as a princess!

"Oh, goodness me, it seems I'm the one unprepared then! Well, uh, if you wouldn't mind leaving me for just a moment your majesty, I'll pack everything I'll need for the trip, clear my schedule for the immediate future and close up the office here, then I'll meet you outside!" Doctor Goodwell explained energetically, already starting to zip around her office in a flighty manner, moving things around and taking stock as the three teenagers began to exit the room. "I haven't been this excited for an expedition since the quest for the Inverse Ponyhead..."

Outside the office, Star stood in-between her two human friends, jittering with excitement for the trip they were going to go on. "So, are you guys ready to go on a super fun trip for science and justice!?" she asked the two of them, though her expression was mostly focused on Dipper.

With a nervous laugh, Dipper rubbed the back of his neck and answered "Yeah, this sounds like it's going to be really productive. But, Pacifica, can I talk to you for a second?" His question made both blonds look at Dipper with surprise as he stepped past Star to get closer to the girl from Earth. Looking at her with a deeply concerned and remorseful expression, he asked "Pacifica, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd feel better if you stay here at the castle while me, Star, and Doctor Goodwell make this trip."

Pacifica met her friend's look with a mildly grimaced but still sympathetic look of her own, recognizing the emotion his deep eyes were transmitting to her in sincerity, while Star just seemed surprised and a little taken aback that Dipper would ask her to stay behind. "C'mon Dipper, what's bugging you? We'll handle this no problem. Bill might have gotten the drop on me and Ford before, but I know Star and her wand can keep us safe if we meet him again." she spoke with a halfheartedly dismissive tone.

Dipper kept looking concerned however, though Star glowed a little at her friend's confidence in her. "It's not that Paz, I'm sure Star can keep us safe as well, it's just... I don't want anything to risk aggravating the head wound you took recently, especially since I have no idea if I even healed it properly!" As he explained himself, Dipper's voice quivered with a tone of guilt to it, and a shaky hand rose up to Pacifica's head, guided by instinct and finding its way through her incredibly soft, luscious hair to feel the site of the injury, gently stroking the area to look for damage or scar tissue. "Please." He asked her, voice and expression both incredibly deep with concern. "Let's give it some time to make sure everything healed right. I couldn't... I couldn't bare accidentally making things worse for you."

Off to the side, Star felt increasingly uncomfortable as she watched the touching moment between the two from the outside. She gently chewed the tip of her wand while trying to look anywhere else despite not being able to take her eyes off the Earthlings. _"How many times did I have this sort of conversation with Marco?" _She wondered to herself. _"Always so concerned I was going to get hurt even though I can handle things myself, and I'm sure Pacifica can as well, so we'll see how..."_

"Okay Dipper, you make a good point. I'll stay behind and make sure I've healed properly."

"Huh?" Star found herself unable to keep in the noise of surprise as Pacifica conceded to Dipper's argument. If the two had heard her though, they didn't show it, instead simply looking at each other for a moment before Dipper seemingly realized for the first time he's put his hand inside Pacifica's hair and hastily withdrew it with a flustered apology. _"...But, I don't think any of mine ended like that..." _The princess thought to herself, but upon taking a closer look at the human girl's face, it began to dawn on her. Pacifica still looked a little troubled and a little upset at Dipper's request, but stronger than that was blatant concern for him. _"She doesn't want him to be worried about her." _Star realized. _"As much as she wants to go on this adventure, Dipper being at peace and not being worried her her safety is more important to her." _With a look of disquiet on her face, the princess wondered to herself _"Is this why they are so close with each other? Would... would Marco have stayed closer if I let him be my hero once in awhile?"_

"Well, I guess that's that then. Good luck out there. And Star?" The princess was roused from her self-introspection as Pacifica addressed her, having gotten closer to the mewman royal as the girl from earth walked away from the office of the monster expert. Star was a little embarrassed at how this had caught her by surprise, and fumbled to look right at the other blond with a forced smile on her face. "Keep an eye on Dipper for me, will you? He can get himself in the worst trouble imaginable if left alone." She asked, a clear tone of sincerity underneath the teasing way she said her request.

While Dipper chuckled at this and playfully argued that he did not, Star just gave Pacifica a determined nod and said "Don't worry girl, I'll bring him back in one piece even if I need to glue him back together first!" before the two passed each other, Star stepping closer to Dipper while Pacifica vanished into the hallways.

_"Besides..." _The teenager from Earth thought to herself while leaving the two behind, quickly setting to work on a whole series of personal thoughts. _"...Maybe I can get some fact finding done while I have some free time around here."_

Soon enough, the princess and the apprentice were alone together, standing outside the office of the monster expert and waiting for a new adventure to begin. "You look happy." Star commented offhand to Dipper.

"Just pleasantly surprised, I suppose." He remarked back, his good spirit audible in his voice. "I was prepared for a lot more pseudoscience when I heard we were going meet the government expert on monsters, but that conversation was refreshingly free of phrenology or creationism. I think I'm looking forward to this, a real scientific expedition!"

Star giggled a little at Dipper's explanation, then gave him a half lidded look and teasingly asked him "I guess we mewmans are a little smarter than your gave us credit for, aren't we?"

With a sort of embarrassed chuckle, Dipper rubbed the back of his neck and answered "You know what, it seems like you guys are. I expected the worst of this situation, but Doctor Goodwell is a most erudite and forward thinking intellectual. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to partake in some stimulating discourse with such a genuinely intelligent, professional scientific expert."

* * *

In short order, the Archmage from Earth had been shuffled into a deceptively normal looking office room, seated at the head of a rather basic table while three members of the Magical High Commission clustered around the other head of it: Queen Moon presiding at the opposite head, with Rhombulus and Hekapoo on either side of her. Off to the side, on a smaller table, Sean the security guard was recording everything said on typewriter.

It had started off as a simple debriefing of his expedition with Pacifica and Mewman knight and squire team, and for most of his time there, that's all it was. Ford had offered up everything that had happened, and even drawn a few pictures for the MHC: The insects that had ambushed them, the magical lock placed on the door, some of the weapons that had been stored in the underground bunker, and the face of Bill's newest host. In comparison to the previous hostile atmosphere that had reigned between Ford and this group, this conversation was cordial and professional, the Mewmans only speaking when they wished for something to be clarified. A sizable amount of time based before things got more intense, during the period Ford was being asked for what conclusions he had reached.

"No one here disputes that Bill is possessing a citizen of the Lucitor Kingdom, correct?" Ford asked the assembled commission members, and all three of them nodded hesitantly in confirmation. "Then my conclusion, based on all the evidence that I collected first hand during this expedition, is that his newest host has some kind of position within the Lucitor Kingdom's ruling class, or connections to it, and Bill is utilizing those resources to his fullest, and possibly with their full support."

"That's outrageous!" Hekapoo responded, the familiar flash of fire across her expression. "The Lucitor Kingdom are the staunchest allies of the Butterfly regime, they would never back Bill's activities!"

"Yeah, what she said!" Rhombulus chimed in.

When Ford spoke again, it was obvious he was ignoring Hekapoo and Rhombulus to speak directly to the Queen. "No, they're arms dealers, provided my understanding of your explanation of the two kingdoms' relationship is accurate?" When the monarch didn't correct him, the scientist continued. "Those sorts of people are never staunch when it comes to supporting anything. After all, why have business with one side of a conflict when you can have business with both sides?"

"And besides, he was utilizing some kind of magic weapon completely unknown to either us." Ford continued, deliberately sliding around the subject of the earth weapons. "I confessed quite freely during this debriefing that none of my knowledge of magic encompasses what Bill attacked myself and Miss Northwest with, and based on the fact that none of you gave me a correcting lecture on its true nature, it's clear none of you know what it was either. Now, what would be the most likely source of a completely unknown to human or mewman knowledge, but highly advanced and dangerous, magical weapon? Along with a fully constructed underground bunker in Mewman territory, complete with a diabolical security system?"

_"Jackpot." _Ford thought to himself when all three visibly flinched despite their best efforts at his explanation. _"As long as I keep them suspicious of these Lucitors, they'll be in pursuit of Bill, and as far away from acquiring weapons of their own from Earth._

"Your argument is... logical, but ultimately unfounded, for the moment." Queen Moon spoke, clearly choosing her words carefully. "There are more magic sources in the multiverse than the Butterflies or the Lucitors, after all. Clearly, investigating this strange magic of Bill's is a task we must accomplish with great thoroughness before throwing about more accusations." Despite the denial she was partially speaking with, Ford could tell he'd gotten his idea planted in Moon's head, and was content with this small victory. Her next question, however, too him by surprise.

"Now, on a different subject, we have some questions about Earth we'd like you to answer..."

* * *

"Star, I take back everything I said earlier. This woman is an idiot."

It had been a half hour since the princess of Mewni had first walked into the office of her kingdom's monster expert and set in motion an expedition to the monster village, and at the moment she, Dipper Pines and Doctor Goodwell were all cramped into the doctor's tree house research base. The long, overland journey the expert had planned out ultimately proved unnecessary, as Dipper had simply suggested Star lend Jelly her magic scissors to cut a portal to the location as soon as he saw the elderly woman dragging an inflatable raft out of her office. This had allowed them to reach the secret lab in record time, and that, in turn, gave them a quick, close hand look at Doctor Goodwell's methodology, and soon the disappointment set in.

"Yeah, this is... not what I was imagining either." Star admitted, with a defeated tone of voice while somewhat guiltily running her hands over a strand of hair and shrinking somewhat in place while Dipper have her an intensely smarmy, eyebrow knitting expression. After seeing how genuinely upset she was by how ignorant the doctor actually was though (Dipper's breaking point having been when she described the borderline old west looking village as "a natural rock formation that by raw coincidence had been shaped by natural forces into something resembling a town) the boy lightened up a little, offering Star a more sympathetic expression.

With a sigh, Dipper did his best to comfort the princess in front of him. "Look, Star, I'm sorry this didn't work out like you had hoped, but what matters is that you still know what is true and are holding onto it. No matter what the ignorant say is the truth in its place."

The princess seemed touched by the apprentice continuing to support her in this situation, and gave him a soft "Thanks Dipper." in response. Impulsively, Star began to shuffle forward a little, planning to give him a hug just to see how it feels in comparison, but was interrupted (to Dipper's private relief) when Goodwell abruptly shoved a wheeled diorama of the monster village and the nearby dam between the two.

"So! Based on my observations and monitoring equipment, this mysterious "Bill" fellow hasn't introduced a severe disruption to the ecosystem yet! We're just in time!" She announced with a mix of dutifulness and excited cheer. "I've been considering doing this for some time, but this new threat has pushed me over the line! It's time to preserve the sanctity of the monster ecosystem once and for all!" She began to rant while pouring a glass of water into the model set. "The natural dam further up the watering hole the monsters gather around has been rigged with blasting equipment for awhile now, and today we're going to set them all off! The river will rise higher than ever, and create an insulating lake around the monster environment, protecting it against any further outside interference, from Bill to the Queen herself!"

"What?"

"Oh boy, here we go."

Star had been taken aback by the sudden, extreme turn of events her interactions with the monster expert had taken, while Dipper simply reacted with dry resignation to this turn of events. "Now, I simply have to press this button..." She continued, creating an instant expression of panic in Star while Dipper simply continued to glare at the Mewman woman, but to her own surprise, Doctor Goodwell couldn't seem to locate her detonator. "Hmm, I've always kept it stored there. Did I move it around last time I cleaned in here...?"

With a look of contempt on his face, Dipper quietly muttered under his breath "Yeah, you keep looking you... uh, Samuel Cartwright-talking mother..."

Frantic, Star turned to Dipper and yanked on his arm, cutting hit muttering short. "Dipper, we have to do something! Quick, let's warn the monsters before she figures out where she misplaced the button!" She yelled out, before bolting down the trapdoor ladder that was the tree house's only way in or out, while Dipper watched her go with flat footed surprise.

"Star, wait up! Stop already! Let, let me talk to you!"

Dipper had been yelling things like that as soon as Star ran off without him, and when she finally came to a stop a short distance from the tree house to turn about and regard the panting and huffing earth boy who had been sprinting to catch up with her, she simply urged him to keep going. "Tell me when we get there Dipper, we don't have much time!" She stated, while getting ready to run again.

"Actually, we have all the time in the world." The boy stated matter of factly despite being out of breath, causing Star's attempt at sprinting off to fall short as she stumbled out of surprise. Pulling herself off the ground, she looked at Dipper with a quizzical expression. "But, what about the dam?"

"Dam's not gonna blow up." Dipper said, his voice and expression now confident. With a borderline smug expression, Dipper produced the detonator that Doctor Goodwell was turning her research lab upside down in search of from inside a vest pocket, holding it up by the antenna while his other hand gestured to it. "The wireless bomb detonator stuck out like a sore thumb scattered among the alchemical tools and Victorian-looking scientific knick knacks when we came into that place, and as soon as Goodwell started to sound like the kind of idiot who thinks ancient aliens built the pyramids, I got the idea to pocket it. In the name of public safety. We have all the time we need."

"But... what if... we should?" Star seemed genuinely lost for the moment, trying to decide what to say. _"This is normally the part where me and Marco would rush headlong into danger, excitement building up towards a race against time finish! But, Dipper just took the wheels off the whole adventure... feels kinda weird. Plus, Marco is the one who gets stuff stolen from him, not him stealing things from people we encounter!"_

_"But you're not on an adventure with Marco right now, are you?"_

The question had come from a second voice in Star's head, a sterner one that seemed to shut down all her internal discussion. Turning her attention back to Dipper, Star opened her mouth and raised an index finger, only to lower it when Dipper remarked "All. The time. We need." in a slow, firm voice. After a moment of silence between the two, the earth boy abruptly pivoted on his heels and began walking towards a pile of stuff Star hadn't noticed until now, which Dipper had dropped mid sprint to be able to catch up with her. "Now that we're all calmed down, we can think about this and actually plan what we're going to do next." He explained confidently while lifting up the pile of dropped goods to reveal their true nature: Monster costumes! "I figure with these, we can get inside the village and snoop around a little, see what Bill is up to."

"OK, yeah, you make a good point." Star replied uncertainly, but the princess put on a smile despite how confused she was feeling. "Good job Dipper, you're really on the ball today."

With a smile of his own, this one radiating fresh confidence, Dipper offered a genuine thanks to Star. "Now, let's get these things on us and get to work."

* * *

Back at the royal castle, Pacifica Northwest was gently stepping through the dusty royal library. By her own estimation, she seemed to be the only person here at the moment, aside from the extremely nearsighted librarian who had admitted her. The old mewman woman behind the desk had clearly mistaken the blond teenage girl from Earth for her own princess, a delusion Pacifica had carefully played along with while deliberately never partaking in it actively. As a result, it seemed like she the run of the place, but still stepped carefully in order to not risk disturbing it.

Through some careful, quiet carrying, the human girl had quickly assembled a reading collection on an out of the way table on the edge of the library. She'd selected the most prestigious looking historical documents she could find, and came equipped with a fresh notebook and several pens to get to work with.

"Let's see, where to start..." Pacifica wondered, having no clear idea how any of the chronicles named by the book covers lined up with each other historically, seeing as this was the history of a completely alien planet she was working with. "Eeny, meeny, miney... You." She decided after a short think, and upon bringing the chosen book closer, cracked an eyebrow in appreciation of the title she'd unwittingly picked.

"Chronicles of Darkness: Mewni's Worst Queen Ever? Well, as good a place to start as any."

* * *

A short while after squeezing into the outfits, the human and the mewman moved through the dirty, sometimes vertical streets of the monster village in their two monster costumes: Star dressed as a round, one eyed creature with a horn while Dipper was in a more stiff costume designed to make him look like an insect, consisting of a large paper-mache ant body with six thin wire legs sprouting off it at weird angles, even though the boy's pants covered legs exited out the abdomen for him to walk along on. "Star. I'll admit, I kinda regret this plan." Dipper admitted. "This costume is really hurting my back."

"Maybe we won't need them any longer if we can make contact with Buff Frog." Star remarked sympathetically, but the fact that she had to turn her whole body to face Dipper resulted in her standing with her back to a dark space between two buildings, shaded by an abundance of purple bush growth. A crook cane emerged from this space and swiftly yanked Star into the darkness. "EEP!" Star squeaked out in surprise, but quickly gained a radiant expression under her costume when she saw who it was. "BUFF FROG!"

"Star!?" The muscular monster said in surprise now that he was close enough to recognize her under the costume, swiftly recognizing the girl and making a point to stow the knife he had in his other hand behind his back. "Is surprising to see you princess! Good, of course! But still surprise."

"I didn't know you were living here until not too long ago, sorry for not giving you a heads up." Star responded apologetically but still happily. "How are the kids doing?"

"Star!? Are you alright!?" Dipper called from the street, finally making his way into the hidden space in his awkward, hard to see in costume. "Is somewhere here with you!?"

"Ah, Karate Boy, is good to see you also." Buff Frog greeted, even as Star got a blushed look on her face and begun to wave her arms back and forth in a negatory fashion, which the monster couldn't see because he was addressing the human teenager. "You sound strange Karate Boy. More nasally and high pitched than normal. Are you feeling well?"

"What!?" Dipper asked in frustration, not quite having heard everything the monster said. With a grunt of frustration, the boy punched his arms through the fragile surface of the costume and ripped the headpiece off. "Alright, I have had about ENOUGH of that..." He muttered to himself while kicking the severed any head away, causing it to roll into the street and send an unfortunate monster civilian running and screaming. Annoyance gradually fading, Dipper finally looked up at the monster and the princess. "Ah, hello there. You're the monster with the tracker stuck behind his ear, right? Would you like me to remove that? Star says you're a friend after all."

Buff Frog blinked a few times as it became instantly clear that this wasn't the human he was familiar with. Turning back to Star, the monster father asked her, with a dry look on his face despite the abundance of mucus on his skin, "Ah, Buff Frog understands. Is new Earth Boy, to fill aching void left by karate fighter, yes?"

"NO!" Star shouted back. "Why does everyone think it be like that!?" After a moment of anguished yelling, the princess abruptly shifted focus. She hadn't become any calmer, but did remember what she was there for. "Buff Frog, you gotta get everyone out of here! Some crazy Mewman lady is gonna blow up the dam!"

"Oh, by Crazy Lady Who Watches From Trees?" Buff Frog replied nonchalantly. "We know of her. She blasts holes in dam frequently. Is no problem, easy fix."

"And, again, it's not actually going to happen guys." Dipper added in, annoyance on both his words and his face, and the feeling got stronger when he tried to show off his day saving, quick fingered workmanship but felt his arms simply collide with his bulky costume when he tried to retrieve the detonator again for a flourish. "We're hear to investigate... you know, the threat." With a scrutinizing look, Dipper regarded Buff Frog while scooting closer to Star. "You sure we can trust this guy?"

"You mention threat. Do you speak of merchant?" Buff Frog asked bluntly, clearly having overheard Dipper's distrust but opting not to address it. When both teenagers looked at each other with a surprised look but nodded yes, the monster continued. "Strange man arrive in village recently. Demon blood, monster but not. Speaks of safety, upheaval, revanchism. He speak of many things, but gives us only one thing solid: Weapons."

Dipper's expression was all business now, steely and unreadable, while Star looked a little more visibly worried. _"Jackpot." _The boy thought to himself. "Can you tell us more about this demon? Who is he dealing with here in the village?"

"He speak mainly with Swaffle, and Swaffle speak to others, but not many. Business is secret." He explained, then with a weary tone, added on "Have seen many demons like him. Very frequently arriving and leaving to Ludo's castle with weapons, armor, general supplies. One time with yogurt machine. In exchange, they take what little natural livelihood we have. Ludo was always eager trader, sure we would capture wand any day now. And they were always eager, appearing the moment we had acquired anything worth trading." With a look at the ground, Buff Frog spat. "Is foolish. Last visit was after Toffee had taken over. That merchant will never walk again."

Dipper, out of raw force of interest, had drawn his arms back into the costume and popped them out with a pen and notepad in hand, so he could desperately scribble down everything the monster had to say. Star was simply looking with concern as she processed everything he had to say, and asked the next question herself. "Who is this Swaffle guy, exactly? Is that the goat guy's real name, maybe?"

"Nyet. Is new monster, never seen by princess or karate boy." Buff Frog explained, before casting his eyes on the still frantically writing Dipper. "Or new earth boy. Is community leader, in a sense. Initially, I was happy to see someone new step up. Had been informal leader of this town, difficult task, appreciated help. But he grow powerful, quickly. Many in town listen to him, and he puts me back to work as spy. He is the one who ordered me to capture the strange mewmans walking around in costumes." With another stern expression, Buff Frog finished with "Is charming, but fool. Walks the path of Ludo. Will only get fellow monsters killed."

Seemingly caught by surprise, Dipper looked up from his note writing to ask "Wait, I wore this costume for nothing?" in a genuinely distressed tone.

"Da, is not very good disguise. Also culturally insensitive."

While Dipper looked downcast at the answer, Star stepped forward a little and continued the conversation. "Buff Frog, I know this isn't an easy thing, but do you think you could show us where the weapons you're getting from this merchant are? We, we'll, we're hunting him because he might be a dangerous interdimensional criminal, and if he does too much business here I'm worried mom might just burn your whole town down."

"One condition, princess." Buff Frog responded, and Star nodded at him to go ahead and state. "I will help you, if you promise to remove his weapons and make so the merchant never returns." The princess seemed surprised by this turn of events, having been getting steadily more worried she might be at cross purposes with her friend on this matter. Evidently, Buff Frog could read her expression. "I know, is odd course for monster leader to try to disarm monsters. But war has lost its taste for me. The babies, my little ones... I must help create world of peace for them. Monsters like Swaffle, and the demon merchant... They are like Toffee, can see it in his one remaining eye. Everything they do plants seeds of war." Then, with a more casual, humorous tone, he added "Besides, in not too long, YOU will be queen, Star? Maybe we all be friends then, da? Prefer to wait it out, give peace a chance. Good odds this time."

Having his suspicions all but confirmed by Buff Frog's mention of 'one remaining eye,' Dipper stepped up with a fresh question, waiting for the monster to finish his speech by using a nearby stick to sketch a drawing in the dirt: A basic triangle with a single open eye. "One last question..." He spoke up, getting the attention of both Star and Buff Frog. "Do you recognize this at all?"

"Da. Is popular new tattoo in town." Buff Frog responded dismissively, causing Dipper's blood to run cold. "Could never see appeal myself."

"Has anyone who has gotten this tattoo done anything... unusual, recently? Does this Swaffle character have one?" Dipper asked, more direct and inquisitive this time. After a moment of thought, he abruptly scratched out the eye of the recreation of Bill he had made in the sand.

"Swaffle... is hard to tell. Am not certain yes or no." Buff Frog responded quickly, but lingered a bit before addressing the second half of the question. After looking sideways at Star, who was giving him wide, curious, and a little worried eyes, he let out a sigh and elaborated. "Sent one with prominent tattoo through portal recently, very on face. Had tattoo around own eye to complete effect. Only scout to not come back."

"And what were you sending scouts into interdimensional portals for?" Dipper asked, outright accusingly now. Memories of himself and his sister being attacked in the woods by an inhuman figure with Bill tattooed onto their hooded face flooded him, but he pushed those memories down and cooled his feelings off by thinking to how he and Ford had dissected the attacker after the struggle in the woods, how they'd meticulously disassembled them in the frigid, temperature controlled chamber deep underground. _"The fruits of that experiment, the large amounts of data we were able to tune the dimensional scanner with, are what brought us to Mewi. Is this guy secretly a servant of Bill?"_

The boy's suspicions were not helped by how hesitant to reply Buff Frog was to answer, but caught between Dipper's fierce glare and Star's big, imploring eyes, he eventually gave in, and explained things with a sigh. "Scouts are to... find new home for monsters." With a sad glance at Star, Buff Frog removed his own pair of dimensional scissors from his pocket and looked at them longingly. "Do not be mistaken Princess. I still have great hopes for your time. But, should things go wrong before then... we must be prepared."

While Star just looked downcast at this announcement, Dipper gazed at the pair of scissors with a look of wonder and dread in his eyes. Focusing his attention on Buff Frog, Dipper looked the monster right in the eyes, and spoke with the most grim tone to his voice. "You cannot allow Bill... the merchant, that is, to get his hands on these. I have a strong feeling he already knows they exist."

Looking down at Dipper, Buff Frog felt like he wanted to shiver when he experienced how deep and powerful the human's tone and expression was when he announced that. Instead of shivering though, the monster simply nodded his head. "Da, is good. They will never leave my person." Then, with a lighter expression, he turned to Star. "So, is princess and her new earth boy ready to investigate?"

A short while later, Buff Frog was leading Star and Dipper (The princess had ditched the monster costume completely, while the apprentice had left the head behind and ripped it in places straightening his posture, but otherwise figured his costume would take too long to climb out of) towards a little, out of the way hut on the lower section of the village. Despite Dipper's reluctance to just walk around like this, several of the monsters waved happily at Star as she walked by. The boy simply kept sweeping his steely gaze around the passing monsters in search of Bill tattoos.

When the circumstantial monster leader threw the door to the building open, it was swiftly revealed to be a poorly maintained tavern. Fortunately for the three, it was sparsely occupied at the moment: Just a few habitual barflies (one of which was an actual humanoid fly) completely blind to the outside world by their drinking problems while a bored looking barkeep endlessly wiped the counter with a dirty rag. Buff Frog gestures towards a corner staircase while he went up to the counter to talk to the barkeep, and persuade him to keep quiet about this visit.

The two teenagers were down the stairs in moments, blocked in place by a locked door. Star's first reaction was to whip out her wand and get ready to blast it down, but after a quick flashback of the day's events, wondered if perhaps Dipper had a more subtle solution? When the princess glanced to the side, the apprentice simply gave her a negative shake of the head, so with a big grin Star blasted the door in. When both stumbled through the now unblocked portal, Dipper let out a low whistle at what they had found.

"Yep, Bill has been doing business with these people." the boy remarked while drawing his hands back into the costume to rummage around for something. Star meanwhile stepped around the cellar, examining everything at length: Rifles were stored up against the walls in racks while the sidearms were laid out on a table in the corner of the room and a single mortar weapon was in the middle of the room. The ammunition and hand grenades were meanwhile stored in green metal boxes scattered around the room. "Look at that, they've even got sniper rifles now." Dipper commented while checking to see if the weapon was loaded. "Well, these guys are officially more responsible gun owners than Bill at least."

Star seemed troubled by the collection of advanced weaponry stored down in the cellar, but her concentration was abruptly shifted when she heard Buff Frog's thickly accented voice yelling something through the floorboards, though it was too muffled to make out the exacts. The princess had been planning to say something to the boy as he was crouched down by the artillery piece, but instead yelped "Oh no, they're onto us!" and grabbed him by the back of the costume before rushing up the stairs back to the bar. When the princess reached the ground floor however, she stopped in her tracks.

A crowd of monsters had filled out the bar, completely blocking the space between the cellar stairs and the doorway. Two particularly strong monsters were holding Buff Frog down against the bar, while at the center of the crowd stood an individual the two could only assume was Swaffle: He carried himself with the air of a commander, a tall avian humanoid whose splendidly colored arm feathers stretched low enough to resemble a cape when his arms were folded. Sitting above his sizable beak mouth and sharp eyes was a shiny red gemstone that seemed to grow from the forehead, almost blending in with the mangy red plumage that covered his head. The feathers of this fierce looking bird-man withered in some spots on his arms, revealing unsightly boils bubbling up from the lower skin.

"Soooo, the traitor has finally revealed himself, and delivered the Princess of Mewni and her magic wand to my clutches!" The monster leader announced confidently. Star got into a defensive position while Dipper eyed the room and felt his blood go cold: A lot of the monsters in the room had Bill tattoos scattered about their bodies, and the ones who didn't flaunt it had clothing over places it could conceivably be hidden. "Once I have seized the Royal Wand in the name of monster-kind, nothing will be able to stop me!"

"So, who are you supposed to be then, Ludo's understudy?" Star asked somewhat warily. She wasn't as gung-ho about beating up monsters these days as she was before, but this whole situation seemed like an increasingly inescapable battle.

"Who are YOU supposed to be!?" The monster leader shouted back, a bit of chirp to his voice. "Well, wouldn't you like to know..."

"Yes, I genuinely would." Star replied with complete sincerity, cutting off the rant the avian was building up to, which was cut off again when Dipper added in "Actually, I'd appreciate being brought up to speed as well." in a significantly more sarcastic tone.

"ENOUGH!" They yelled petulantly, stomping a foot against the floor. "I am Swaffle! The new leader of the monster army, and NOTHING like that stupid runt Ludo!" He explained, practically spitting the name of his predecessor. "He ruined everything!" taking on a ranting tone of voice. "Things were the easiest for monster kind that they had been for generations, falling right into his fat little lap! The Mewmans didn't think we were a threat, and with him charge we weren't! But then, he just had to go and waste everything on a disastrous attack on the capital!"

Both Star and Dipper dropped their guards slightly as they listened to the monster leader, while Buff Frog just rolled his eyes, having clearly heard all of this before. "Now, the attack has failed and we have nothing to gain for it! Nothing but retaliations, purges, massacres! The mewmans will take revenge for the invasion of their royal city, but we're not going to take it lying down, not with the new tools at our disposal! This time, before the Mewmans can invade the realm of monsters, we will exterminate them first, with the power of our new weapons!"

"Look, I can sympathize with what you're doing here, really. For the record I'm not a mewman by the way." Dipper began to explain, his eyes rapidly scanning the entire bar. "But a higher power than this conflict is using you as a pawn. Your weapons dealer is not what he seems and is leading you to disaster. We're willing to help you, but you need to back down." Even as the boy spoke, his town wavered as he realized how weak his own argument sounded.

"New earth boy is right Swaffle." Buff Frog spoke up, even as his head was shoved further into the counter top. "Magic wand will always defeat monsters. We must seek peace."

"Peace will be unnecessary... once I have the royal family's prized possession in MY right hand... and an AK-47 in the other!" Swaffle responded, clearly not buying any of this for a moment. "Monsters... GET THE WAND!"

Everyone in the building seemed to snap into action at the same moment, even the bartender sinking beneath his own counter. Star jumped straight into action, old muscles warming right back up like she'd never stopped running and punching all over the Diaz family backyard. She instantly opened the fight by jumping onto a table, and jumping from there into a flying, screaming jump kick into a monster's face, off which she pivot jumped to land on another grasping enemy. Star Butterfly couldn't help but grin, the rebel princess was back in action!

Dipper, on the other hand, was having significantly less fun. He'd instantly had to duck a punch from a burly beast man twice his size, and when he tried to retaliate by slugging it in the exposed gut, the only thing that ended up in pain was the human's knuckles. "What are you even made off!?" He demanded to know, but further yelling was cut off when the monster grabbed the human by the neck and slammed him onto the bar counter, sending sharp pain shooting through his back. Squirming and panting in place, Dipper blindly reached past his head and earned a narrow escape when his grip clenched on a wooden flagon, then smashed it against the monster's skull over and over again, until the cup splintered into wood fragments and the monster's skull began to leak a thin trail of blood.

As the monster withdrew, Dipper dropped to his feet and reached his left hand down to his left traveling boot, and quickly produced a survival knife out of the footwear. With a violent yell, the teenager rushed towards one of the monsters holding Buff Frog down and sunk the sharp blade into their shoulder. The burly bouncer instantly withdrew in pain, trying to reach his shoulder to withdraw the leaking blade but finding that difficult to do with his strong, swollen, and short arms. His partner took one look at the crazy human who was reaching into his other boot for seemingly another knife, yelled "I'M OUTTA HERE!" and jumped out a nearby window, letting Buff Frog stand up free.

"HE THREATENED MY BABIES!" Buff Frog yelled as soon as he face was pulled away from the counter top, leaving behind a large slime spot as he mucus covered face separated with a pop. In an instant, the thickly accented monster leader charged straight out the door, barreling over anyone who got in his path and leaving Dipper to unfortunately fight alone.

Luckily, Star seemed to have the attention of most of the monsters tied down, easily jumping and cartwheeling around their muscular forms, firing off spells while their boss ineffectually hurled abuse from the sidelines. _"Just like the good ol' days!" _Star thought to herself, taking the brief moment to enjoy the faded but familiar adrenaline rush. Acting on comparatively new instincts, she trapped a monster flying at her with a jumping kick in a levitation spell and hurled him across the room in Dipper's direction, just _knowing _on some choreographed fighting level that he'd jump up and spin kick the monster to send him flying like a pinball, not even skipping a beat before resuming the karate chop he was using to drop monsters in one blow.

Instead, Dipper was desperately trying to beat down a sturdy, bear-like monster with one of the bar's wooden chairs, only keeping the fighter on his knees by repeatedly smashing the furniture against its thick skull, as savagely as possible. He barely saw the thrown monster coming at him at the last second, and barely ducked out of the way in order for the other bar fighter to sail overhead and smash through a nearby window. The monster Dipper had been fighting took the opportunity to tower over the human and roar with blood lust, raising a razor sharp paw for a swipe that could conceivably have taken his head off, had Dipper not risen from the ground while swinging the chair from the floor, into the monster's chin. The hard impact against the bottom of the face sent the creature stumbling onto its back. "WATCH OUT STAR!" He screamed in momentary, white hot frustration, before channeling that anger into several more brutal swings of the chair against the monster's now vulnerable stomach, only stopping when it began to sputter up blood and curled up helplessly.

With a bit of a inner groan, Star couldn't help but think to herself _"Marco would have handled that with a bunch more style" _only to suffer for her momentary distraction when a muscular monster fist socked her in the stomach, briefly knocking the wind of the princess. This in turn allowed the same monster to grab Star by the neck, lift her up and slam her into a bar table, the cheap wood shattering on impact. "Ugh... don't gimme the death burrito." She muttered to herself as her senses rushed back, just in time to let her process a monster with giant spiked spheres for hands was raising one of said spheres as high up as possible to slam down on her, in an impact that would surely reduce her to a bloody smear. "NARWHAL BLAST!"

"Get UP already! We've got them on the ropes!" Swaffle was yelling at the large number of monsters who were still getting up after Buff Frog had bowled them over, most rubbing their aching heads. "Look at you all, you even get off the floor like losers! ...DO YOU GUYS SMELL SMOKE!?" The monster leader had abruptly caught an unexpected smell, and yelled his question loud enough for the whole bar to hear.

"I can... UH, GUUGHHHH!" Dipper tried to speak up, but seeing as a new monster had picked him up by the neck, slammed him into a wall and was currently trying to strangle him, it was rather hard for the boy to get across what he meant. In the end, he resorted to slapping against the wall with his palm, which prompted Swaffle to prompt the monster to stop choking him, but still hold the boy in place. After a couple of deep, gasping breaths, Dipper pointed across the room to the cellar stairway, down which a bright fire was providing distant illumination. "Thermite charge, courtesy of Stanford Pines! Your stockpile is going down in flames!" The apprentice declared in a dashing tone of voice, before uncertainty set over him. "Do you, uh, know who that is, has Bill told you, otherwise that doesn't mean a lot I know..."

With a mortified expression on his face, Swaffle stuttered for a moment before turning tail and running for the exit, a few loose, colorful feathers floating behind him. "FOR THE RECORD I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY, I'M JUST GETTING THE FIREFIGHTERS!" he screamed as he passed. Back at the wall, Dipper and his strangler looked back at each other after the guy they were both following fled the coup, the monster with confusion and Dipper with some degree of sympathy.

"Tough boss, huh?" Dipper remarked with a regretful tone of voice, and when the monster nodded yes, his expression got even more apologetic. "Sorry to hear that." He remarked, before he took advantage of the monster's dropped guard to slide his second boot knife out of his sleeve, raise it up, and jam it straight into his strangler's left eye! Dropped to the floor while his assailant screamed in pain, Dipper crawled away between his legs on all fours.

_"Alright, this is probably the most trouble I've ever had with a crowd of monsters." _Star thought to herself with a mild tone of worry as she narrowly avoided another swing of the fists. With their boss gone the monster crowd seemed to be doing better in their attempts to catch the princess, getting within hairs width of a grab on several occasions, and it was growing on Star that she had absolutely no fight synchronization with her current dance partner. Still though, she'd already knocked a bunch of them down, and the remaining ones hadn't caught her again yet. After drop-kicking one monster into three more to create a sore pile of muscle, Star finished that one off with a shout of "RASPBERRY PANZERFAUST!" and a floor clearing explosion. Glancing to her side, she saw that Dipper had meanwhile managed to use the bar's collection of alcohol to set a different monster on fire, and was currently viciously and literally kicking him while he down and trying to complete the third step of stop, drop, and roll. Even with her love of fighting, Star couldn't help but wince at how much pain that three eyes potato monster seemed to be in.

Seeking to maintain her advantage, Star shifted to a more defensive fighting style, going from jumping and flipping around the room to keeping her back clear of threats and throwing spells towards the crowd of monsters. _"This might be less exciting, but if I can't count on Dipper to watch my back then I shouldn't overextend during this fight." _Star thought to herself with a small chill down her spine. The dizzying storm of rainbows, cupcakes, crystal heart daggers and other colorful magical ordinance slowly whittled down the monsters' numbers while the liberating rush of combat Star had been feeling slowly shifted to a sort of stiff, worried tension. Inside her head, she hurriedly tried to calculate if she was taking them out fast enough.

On the other side of the bar, Dipper was doing similar mental math, watching the crowd of monsters get closer to the princess faster than Star could knock them down. "STAR!" He yelled out, trying to rush across the room to join her with a fresh chair in hand, but lost the improvised weapon and fell on his face when a sharp claw belonging to a downed monster pinched shut across his angle. Dipper let out of scream of pain at the connection, and for a flash of sapient thought was scared the monster was going snap his foot off completely, his last thought before the animals instincts took over. Rolling over despite the sharp pain it caused him, Dipper slammed the metal reinforced hiking boot of his free foot straight into the face of the nephropoidean humanoid with all his might, and continued to jam it over and over even as chitin cracked and eyestalks bent out of shape, not stopping until he was free.

Star, on the other hand, had a confident grin on her face by this point. While her back was approaching a wall, there were only four monsters in front of her at this point, and after letting the lead one get a Narwhal Blast to the face, the remaining three were looking a lost less confident. The newly appointed point man of the group, a giraffe looking humanoid, actually stopped for a moment to look their opponent in the eyes. Star managed to make herself look even more confident then she actually felt, and flashed him a predatory, toothy grin for good measure.

"Oh spack this!" The lead monster groaned before spinning on his heels and fleeing for the door. The two remaining monsters shot each other a swift look before joining their comrade in fleeing the building. That would have been the end of it, had Dipper not suddenly limped into frame and smashed a broken off chair leg into the long, vulnerable neck of the giraffe monster, sending him to the floor clutching the crushed section of windpipe while the other two ran past him and out the door. "WE'LL SEND YOU A GET WELL CARD!" One of them shouted back halfheartedly.

Dipper didn't seem to even notice the two running past him as he lifted his chair leg over his head to take another swing at the monster, prompting Star to rush forward and talk him down. "Dipper, DIPPER! Slow down dude, I think you got him!" She said quickly, and to her credit, her words did reach the earth boy, who first locked his arm up stiff instead of slamming it down, then gradually relaxed and dropped the chair leg after scanning the bar and confirming all the monsters had either fled the fight, limped away after being knocked down, or were limply sprawled on the floor, breathing shallowly and out of commission for the immediate future.

Speaking in-between pants, the apprentice removed his hat to wipe the sweat off his forehead before addressing the princess. "Huh, right, sorry about that. Well, looks like we won, huh? Score 1 for Team Star and Dipper!"

"Yeah, looks like we did. Mission accomplished." The princess responded, giving an uneasy smile with the statement. As much as she was happy that they'd won the fight, something about this aftermath was troubling. _"Not bad, but not what I expected when I jumped into action a minute ago." _Star thought to herself. _"Normally in the aftermath of one of this big, tag team monster brawls I feel pleasantly worked out, good sore, warm inside, eagerly hungry, and closer than ever to... my teammate. This just feels... off. I'm still glad we won, but I don't feel all that warm this time and... I sorta feel bad for some of these guys. That one monster has burns on most of his body! Monster fighting should be for fun..." _Despite these misgivings, Star kept up her pleasant front to Dipper. _"None of this is HIS fault after all..."_

Further words from the Butterfly princess about how they should go get Buff Frog were cut off by sarcastic clapping coming from the entrance to the bar. Swaffle was standing there now, seemingly alone and with an insufferably smug look on his face. "Well, well, well..." he intoned in time with his claps. "Looks like you've managed to best the w, WOAH!"

The avian's villainous monologue had been cut off by his sudden need to duck under a bottle Dipper had hurled straight for his head. "Nice throw." Star complemented without missing a beat.

"Thanks." Dipper replied while carefully stepping backwards, to get him close enough to another bottle to try again.

"You know what? FINE!" Swaffle yelled in a huffy tone of voice. "You know I HAD a whole speech prepared, but fine, we'll jump straight to the part where you two die and I get what I want!" Stepping to the side, Swaffle revealed that a tall, deceptively strong for how lankly built he was, lizard like humanoid, with a long and narrow snout that ended with a bump, sharp teeth glittering all the way down and light tan colored scales, all gleaming in the sunlight behind his back. "Princess, Earth Kid, meet Septarian. Septarian, meet Princess and Earth Kid. Come talk to me when you have the wand bye!"

Dipper watched the monster leader scurry off before the new henchman in front of them leaned his torso forward and crossed his arms over his chest, like he was reeling in stomach pain, before snapping his torso so far back that the upper body was almost parallel to the floor, despite the legs only crunching a little bit. His claws arms had ripped apart the monster's shirt when he snapped backwards, flinging away the material before bending at the elbows to point right to the sky while the monster himself let out a high pitched, ferocious reptilian shriek.

"So, I'm guessing from the look on your face this guy is gonna be a cut above the others?" Dipper asked while his eyes jumped back and forth from the Septarian and the princess.

"Yeah, we might be in trouble. This kind of monster can heal themselves crazy fast, we'll need to..." Star responded, but midway through her second sentence the bar exploded with noise, loud, consecutive blasting noises that left everyone's ears ringing. The Septarian had snapped back to an upright posture just in time for his left eye to explode in a bloody, scale spewing mess. Similar fleshy explosions occurred all over the reptilian's body, a chip blowing off his snout, a ventilating chunk pierced into the throat, four holes blasting through his bare chest, and a kneecap exploding.

The cacophony ended as swiftly as it came, and after shaking her head to try and banish the ringing from it Star looked to the side to see Dipper discarding one of the pistols she'd seen stored downstairs. The princess knew enough about Dipper at this point to just presume he'd pilfered it while they were down there, for all the good it ended up doing: The Septarian had grown his eye back before the human had gotten done shooting. _"Right, didn't want to just shoot carelessly in a crowded environment, but now it's time to throw caution to the wind." _

"Star?" Dipper asked cautiously. The fire was beginning to climb the stairs now, the metallic scent of burning beginning to fill the air as the monster primed itself to strike.

"Yes Dipper?"

"I don't suppose fire and acid can turn this regeneration off?"

"I'm sure it would have come up in my life if that was true."

"Right then." Dipper said with a sigh, bracing himself and hopping in place to stretch out. "Do you have a spell you think could confuse him?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Then now would be a good time to use it!" Dipper yelled out, charging straight forward as the the Septarian took off and charged the two himself. Star was briefly struck by surprise, but felt a surge of excitement rush her body as she saw the earth boy gallivant into action!

_"One thing that bothers me most in life is that I'll never see that awesome moment where Marco punched a hole in Toffee in person, but maybe this can be a good second!" _Star thought to herself, before twirling her wand up, striking a pose with the outstretched arm holding the glowing magical object in the lizard's direction. "JELLYBEAN HALLUCINATION MIST!"

The puff of vapor struck the Septarian moments before Dipper did, and it was obvious the hallucinations he was suddenly suffering had more to do with him almost tumbling onto his back than the snout punch the earth boy delivered. Instead however, the monster bruiser managed to tackle his opponent and the two rolled around on the floor in a scrappy brawl. Dipper was blatantly overpowered here, but kept his throat from being ripped out by wrapping his hand around the Septarian's snout and holding it closed. His other hand was a blur, rapidly batting away the claws of his opponent and ineffectually punching him all over his body. Star was forced to just watch as the two struggled across the floor, too tightly entangled for her to intercede safely.

Finally, Dipper managed to knee the Septarian in the groin and disengage from the melee, rolling across the floor towards the exit and getting back to his feet. _"Thaaaaat... was a lot less awesome than I had hoped..." _The princess privately thought to herself, but perked up when she heard the boy yell "Star! The fire! Over here!" and realized the flames were spreading to the surface floor now and jogged over to the entrance, to stand besides Dipper.

"Clever little bugs, think you can smoke me out then?" The Septarian spoke as the smell of smoke cleared his senses. As the monster stood up to his full height, it was obvious the rolling brawl had done very little damage to him, while Dipper was clawed in a few places, though it was nothing grievous for the moment. "Nothing can kill a warrior of Septaria!"

"Okay, whatever that was supposed to be, it didn't work." Star responded bluntly, raising her wand as it hummed with power. "Time to get blasty."

"On the contrary Star, your spell worked perfectly!" Dipper responded, with a level of confidence that could be described as extreme when coming from someone who just survived an alligator attack. Both other people in the room seemed confused by this sudden change of attitude, and as Dipper raised up a hand dramatically, both realized his pinky finger had a string tied to it. He suddenly wrenched the hand as far back behind him as possible, while then yelling "But I agree about it being blasting time!"

The princess and the monster both suddenly followed the string from Dipper's finger to the Septarian's body, though the monster figured things out first: The string was connected to a grenade pin, while the grenade was attached to the monster's front belt! Dipper had stuck it onto the monster during their jellybean mist colored fight across the floor! Acting fast, the monster snatched the miniature bomb off his waist and chucked it out the nearest window in the blink of an eye! "A proud warrior of Septaria would never be defeated by some insect trick!"

By the time the Septarian had said that however, Dipper had already grabbed Star by the wrist and was running for the door while dragging her behind him. Over his shoulder, the boy yelled "As if I'd try pulling something so paltry! This one comes STRAIGHT FROM NEW JERSEY!"

A sudden gleam in the air caught the monster's attention, and instantly his eyes widened in surprise while darting towards the thrown away explosive, managing to spot that it had several more strings tied to its body. Then, when it had flown far enough away, the monster's eyes widened even farther when he saw the ends of those strings had more grenade pins tied to them! "HOW DID YOU...!?"

Acting from panic, the monster twisted his head far enough back to look straight at his lower back body, an angle that would have broken the neck of a species without Septarian durability and regeneration. His worst fears were swiftly confirmed: More of the earth devices were attached all of his pants, some hung on the back section of his belt and others pinned to his pant legs. The Septarian tried to bend his arms backwards far enough to throw them away as well, but it was too late: They all detonated before he could snap even one off his belt.

Outside the building, the shock-wave knocked Star and Dipper to the ground, a harsh landing salvaged only by the fact that they were already diving for cover. The fire licked at their backs as flaming debris were thrown from the bar in every direction and everything inside was incinerated. After laying on the ground for a few moments, regaining their senses, the two helped each other up before taking a long, mutual stare and the blasted out and still burning down monster bar. Both were quiet for a moment, Dipper because he was breathing heavily and Star because she didn't know what to say.

"What... what did you just DO!?" The princess was finally able to ask, her tone a mix of admiring, confused, and a little freaked out. _"Okay, this fight has officially escalated far past the point of being a fun nostalgic romp."_

"Just a bit of Earth magic." Dipper replied dismissively. "A little sleight of hand plus some high explosives I pilfered from the basement. Now, we should go try and find your friend, he mentioned something about his babies being in danger." Then, with a more serious tone, he added "Plus, I think we need to ask him some questions at length. Something about what he said doesn't match up with what your mom had told us yesterday."

Star seemed surprised by Dipper's conclusion, but upon scanning her memories zeroed in what he meant. "Do you mean... when Buff Frog mentioned Lucitor merchants meeting with Ludo? Mom said that those kinds of renegades were rare, but he described it like it happened all the time!"

"Exactly. Feels like there's a bigger game going on here, and Bill is going to be at the center of it." Dipper concluded, and was about to say more when a pained reptile howl split the air. Both teenagers instantly turned their attention away from each other to the entrance to the bar. A raging fire was in full force inside, but of even greater threat was the Septarian slowly limping his way towards the two.

The grenades had obviously done a fine job on him, even if they hadn't killed: The monster was a stick figure in the shape of a biped at this point, massive chunks of muscular, scale covered flesh blown away by the detonation. Bone was visible in numerous places and it seemed like the creature could barely stand on stickly legs, while its head was a pulsating stump. Despite all that, it was still advancing towards the two, refusing to yet die, and regrowing muscle mass and protective scales at an alarming rate.

Star was instantly on her feet and charging her wand to give it another blasting, but Dipper motioned her to stop by holding up a hand and yelling "Star, wait!" The princess heard his words and froze in position, waiting to hear what he said. Despite the fact that the boy from earth had a sort of forced blank expression that anyone who knew him could tell you indicated he'd been caught flat footed and without a plan, Dipper still managed to speak with some certainty when he said "I don't think more blasting is going to help us. It's already taken a bunch of grenades point blank, and besides: If you set off another bomb in that bar I'm worried it might be obliterated completely, sending the flaming debris all over town and potentially setting more buildings on fire, and I'm sure you don't want that as much as I don't."

The royal wand dimmed as Star took his advice to heart, glancing around to see that the once busy streets had been cleared, and the few monsters she could catch sight of, besides the Septarian, whose hobbling pace gave them plenty of time to talk, looked incredibly frightened by the sudden series of events. "Okay, so, you got a better plan?"

"...Yes." Dipper said with steadily growing confidence after a few moments of nervous silence. _"It's all I can come up with at the moment, but... yes! Yes, this will work!" _

"Okay Star!" The earth boy spoke up, putting on an air of confidence that was barely holding back his panic. "This is gonna get tricky, so before anything happens, you need to promise me you'll follow my moves exactly once I give the signal!"

"Uhhh, okay?" Star asked, increasingly confused and uncertain of this plan's validity. "What do you have in mind Dipper?"

"The perfect move for this situation!" He replied confidently. "I think it's time to use The Pines Family Secret Technique!"

This instantly seemed to pique Star's interest and curiosity. "You guys have a secret family technique?" She asked with genuine wonder in her voice as her eyes widened.

"YES!" Dipper replied all the more confidently, even as the Septarian was lurching closer and closer. "It's a special technique passed down to me by my great uncle, for use in the trickiest situations!" He explained, causing Star to take a passing glance at her wand before looking back at Dipper, an enthusiastic smile on her face now. "Remember, you need to copy my moves exactly! Are you ready Star?"

"Ready Dipper!" The princess responded excitedly, trying to take the same posture the boy was holding as she stood right next to him. "Let it rip!"

The air between them was silent for a moment, and inside Dipper's mind, the boy was prodding at the wall of false confidence he'd built up to keep his fears and panic dammed up. When that shattered and the emotions washed over him, he used the energy of those feelings to spring into action!

"RUN AWAY!"

"WHU!?" Star spat in confusion as Dipper abruptly spun around on his heels and began running full force the opposite direction of the Septarian, his action completely surprising her. None the less, she remembered what he'd instructed her to do, and took off right after him. It took a bit of all fours running to catch up, but soon enough Star was jogging right besides the earth boy, the two communicating inbetween pants. "Wah, okay, warn me if the plan is, huff, run away next time!" Star yelled back before asking "So, how far do we need to run before you can drop whatever super secret family spell you don't want to use inside the village!?"

"There is... huff!... no secret spell!" Dipper yelled back, wind whipping at his face as he was driven by panic, arms pumping up and down besides him as he ran. "Grunkle Stan always taught me, uff, if you're in a fight you can't win, steal everything valuable and run away!"

"WHAT KIND OF SECRET TECHNIQUE IS THAT!?" Star yelled back, frustration boiling over.

"One that keeps, huff, me alive, that's what!" Dipper yelled back at her. "What, you think I'm, huff, stupid enough to fight that thing with my bare hands!"

"I was kinda hoping so, yes!"

"Whatever! Just keep running until we're outside the village, then we'll try your plan of blasting it again!" Dipper said back, frustration clear in his voice. However, as he began to examine his environment, a new plan began to cook in his mind. "Actually..."

Behind the two, the Septarian had regenerated to the point it could pursue them at full pace, even if a few prominent flesh chunks needed regrowing, including a section of his head. There scent was fresh in his nostrils, and the hunter was in full force.

_"I definitely need to demand Swaffle pay me more when this is all over." _The Septarian, whose real name has actually been Henry this entire time, thought to himself as he carried out the pursuit. _"It's been an easy gig so far, hang out looking all... Septarian to give his monster movement a little prestige, works the muscles for the crowds, show off a little regeneration from time to time... sure I'm glorified political eye candy, but it's a steady gig. Lots of worse ways to make less money."_

_"But now... if I can bag these two after they sent Swaffle himself running in fear, maybe I can negotiate enough of a bonus that I can finally add that extra bathroom to my house like I always wanted." _He thought to himself in an extremely casual manner despite now bounding across the open ground outside the village in full pursuit. _"That'd be nice."_

The trail finally came to an end at the base of the dam the monster village was built down river from. _"Looks like the two Mewmans ran themselves into a little corner. Okay Henry, let's make this quick."_

"Well well well little bugs, looks like you're back against a wall." Henry began to speak, deliberately putting on the grandiose airs Swaffle had coached him on. "Surrender the magic wand, and perhaps I'll let you live!"

"You want the wand scalie!?" Star shouted, raising the instrument of magic up to where Henry could see it. _"Something doesn't seem right about it... Did I get something in my eyes when I regenerated them?"_ Any further thoughts were cut off when the princess finished her statement.

"THEN IT'S YOURS!" She shouted, before cocking her right arm back like she was about to hurl the wand to him, causing all previous thoughts to abandon Henry as he primed himself to catch her throw! _"I can't believe it was so easy!"_

However, when Star's arm snapped forward, she didn't release the wand. Instead, the swing of motion finally let Henry get a close look at what was different about the wand: The body of, the round section above the handle, had purple, thorn covered vines growing out if it and scattering to the floor of the dry canyon. When Star whipped the wand about without releasing it, and screamed out "HERMIT VINE DISCONNECT!" the section of vine growing out of the wand snapped loose and hurled towards the Septarian instead, and since he'd braced himself to make the catch, he had no way to dodge the incoming vines!

"GUAAGGHH!" Henry screamed out as the surprisingly sharp magical thorns dug into his scaled flesh, piercing through still tender, newly regrown body parts. _"They've buried into me!" _He screamed in his head while trying to pluck one loose, to no avail. _"My own invincible flesh... it's regenerating over the injuries caused by the thorns, resulting in the thorns being buried under my skin! I CAN'T GET THEM OUT!" _Letting out another wail of pain, the Septarian yelled at the two again "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

This time, the boy stepped up to respond. "We're gonna test the limits of your regeneration, as a matter of fact." He explained borderline smugly at the prospect of having outsmarted such a resilient foe. "You can regrow impressive sections of your biology on the fly, which I assume is accomplished at least partially through innate magic! However, it still seems to be based in the biological process of growth, and growth..." He lectured, while pulling out a small object from inside his vest while Star cut open a dimensional portal. "...Needs oxygen."

With a tap of his thumb, Dipper set off the explosives Doctor Goodwell had rigged the dam with so long ago, subjecting the valley to a flash flood as he and Star jumped through the portal.

Now panicking, Henry instantly tried to jump to the canyon walls, hoping he could climb faster than the water could rise. However, his attempt at movement simply caused deep rooted pain to spike up all over his body as it refused to move. "THE VINES!" he screamed aloud, then let out another wail of despair after visually following each one to where they'd been planted when Star first cast the spell: Anchored into rocks, the canyon floor and its wall. All sufficiently deep enough that they didn't budge no matter how hard Henry pulled.

He was still screaming and panicking when the water hit him shortly after. He continued to scream inside his mind after being fully submerged, in a state of fruitless agony as he felt his lungs and other biological systems give out from lack of oxygen before growing back just to die again due to his Septarian physiology. One of Henry's last conscious thoughts, before even his decentralized nervous system fell into this cycle of living and dying, was a simple rumination of his state, his body no longer functional enough to support something as unhelpful as panic:

_"I'm going to be down here for quite some time."_

* * *

Back in the monster village, the two humans popped back to the village as swiftly as possible, having taken a Quest Buy smash and grab interdimensional shortcut. Between Star's magic, Buff Frog's rallying, Dipper's copious collection of stolen tape and seal products, the strength of the monsters and even a little unexpected help from Jelly Goodwell, a new dam was built just in time at the edge of the canyon, stopping the water flow in its tracks and leaving the canyon flooded.

The happy celebration of this success came to a sudden stop when the old mewman woman abruptly ripped off all her clothes and started rolling around in mud while screaming a number of well-meaning but racially insensitive comments. All the monsters awkwardly shuffled away at that point, mood deflated, allowing Star and Dipper to speak with Buff Frog and his baby stroller full of children. The mood rose again when Star decided to make Buff Frog the new monster expert, a great step forward for Mewni, but deflated again when it was revealed she'd accidentally stabbed Buff Frog, and was ruined completely when Dipper noted they had some unwanted company.

Swaffle and his few remaining henchmen were advancing on the group, looking quite perturbed. "Well, well, well, I hate to be the one to spoil your fun, Princess Butterfly, but this is the end for you, the end for your little earth boy, and the end of your traitor! Prepare to... hey... HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?" The monster leader's suave demeanor broke into petulant yelling and foot stomping as the princess ignored him completely and cut a portal open for everyone else to file through, leaving him behind to rant in the dust. "THS ISN'T OVER YET!"

When she brought her friends back to the palace, things became a bit of a blur for Star Butterfly, and for the moment, she preferred it that way. The first thing she tried to do was reach out to her mother, but apparently the queen was still busy speaking with Ford and the Magical Commission. Then, she tried to distract herself by acting the royal host to Buff Frog, shuffling him past shocked looking Mewmans and into a set of quarters close to the earthlings' but that got done quickly, and Buff Frog soon requested to be left alone with his babies for awhile to explain this changing situation to them in private.

And so, Star was left with nothing else to do but either sit around waiting for her mother to become available, or reunite with her friends. Dipper had gone off to see how Pacifica was doing as soon as it became clear they couldn't speak to Queen Moon right away, and now Star felt like she'd be the weird one if she didn't rejoin them. Every step of hers was heavy however, as the events of the day, and her thoughts on them, could finally process for her.

_"Dipper isn't Marco, Star." _She thought to herself while trudging along the castle hallways, head hung low as the old feelings of longing began to fester in her again. _"You spent the whole day hoping he'd act just like Marco while on this adventure, and he shot you down at every occasion. It's time to accept that. He doesn't sync up to you like Marco did, he doesn't have Marco's fighting skills, he's pretty commanding instead of being a gentle voice of reason, and to be honest he's kind of a destructive jerk." _

"But I don't want to feel like this anymore!" Star groaned to herself in the empty hallway, her next few footsteps stampy with frustration. _"Okay, so maybe he's not 100% exactly like Marco! He does have some similarities! He's an earth boy who plans a lot, is interested in magic and is really awkward socially despite actually being really cool inside. Maybe we could make something work?" _She thought to herself, perking up slightly before becoming overcast again. "No, I've seen how he is around Pacifica..." she muttered to herself.

_"C'mon, that can't stop Star Butterfly! They're not even dating! Sure, it LOOKS like they're two people who are crazy in love with each other, but if they were that deeply perfect for each other, they'd be openly dating, right!?" _She argued with herself, but after a moment, came to a sobering answer. _"I loved Marco that much, but I never was able to date him..."_

"Only one way to solve this..." Star said with a sigh, before pushing open the door to the castle library. A short ways in, at a table covered in off the shelf books and recently made notes, sat Pacifica and Dipper, going over the large body of information the blond human had collected during her absence from today's adventure.

At least, that's what Pacifica was trying to do. Dipper didn't seem to be able to ask about anything except her current medical condition.

"...And you didn't have any dizzy spells during the day?" The was asking with concern.

"No, Dipper, like I said, I've been feeling surprisingly great all day." The girl responded. A glint of annoyance seemed to flicker through her words, but more obvious was how touched she was by Dipper's bottomless concern for her.

"Okay, but, just to be sure, no nose bleeds either? Because those can seem normal but are actually associated with..."

"Hey, Dipper?" Star cut in, to the other girl's private relief. "I hope I'm not interrupting, but I need to talk to Star for a minute."

"Ah, Star! Hello!" Pacifica spoke up suddenly. Focusing on the princess, her expression quickly fell for a moment while she held up a thick tome titled _The Big Book Of Diplomatic No No's: How To Avoid Seeming Like A Stupid Jerk Around Armed People. _"Are you aware that all your ancient historical tomes are written for children?" she asked dryly, before tossing the tome to the top of the giant pile of literature she'd managed to work through in one afternoon. With a more serious tone, she continued with "Of course Star, what's up?"

"Uh? Oh, sure, don't mind me, I'll just look at these notes for a bit until you're done. As long as you don't mind?"

With a cute nod, Pacifica gave Dipper the go ahead to look through her notes, and turned her attention fully to Star. "What's going on Star? Maybe you could tell me what actually happened during your trip out?"

"Uh, sure. Not here though, follow me!" Star replied, before hastily pulling Pacifica out of the library by her wrist, and not stopping until the two were on a secluded balcony. The sky had just started to turn orange in the distance, marking the end of another day on Mewni for the humans.

Pacifica was obviously a little weirded out Star had dragged her all the way here for a conversation, but tried to stay polite, albeit with a little bit of sass. "Wow Star, for a so called rebel princess you sure take the whole 'quiet in the library' thing seriously." She remarked teasingly.

Star however, didn't respond right away. She was looking at her feet and fidgeting with her hair a little, flowing blond locks concealing the faint red blush that had gotten on her face. Pacifica could instantly tell something was up with Star and offered a more compassionate tone. "Star? Are you alright?"

"Do you like Dipper?"

The abrupt question nearly bowled Pacifica off her feet and but a red blush onto her face in turn. "Wha... what!?" She stuttered back, trying to look away from Star over her own shoulder, and with an angry expression forced on her face. "I mean, he's my friend, and all, so of course I like him, but what's..."

"No, I mean do you LIKE him like him, Pacifica!" Star asked more fervently this time, determined to know. "Do you love Dipper Pines!?"

The girl from Earth was on the defensive now, feeling the intensity of the princess and her own buried feelings welling up all over her, lighting her face with a blush and making her tongue catch on her words. Chewing her lip a little, Pacifica felt a few drops of sweat trickle down her brow as she tried to keep it in, but when she finally had to speak again, could no longer contain the words she'd wanted to say for so long. "YES! YES, OKAY! I LOVE DIPPER PINES AND I'VE LOVED HIM FOR AWHILE NOW!" She yelled out, finally letting the truth loose before settling into an angry glare at Star. "What's it matter so much to you anyways? And don't you dare go running off and telling him, I know where you live princess!"

Star kept her head hung low for a silent minute, processing what had just happened. "Pacifica... I'm sorry I put you on the spot like that. I'm just... struggling with some feelings right now." She said, in a genuinely apologetic tone that managed to soften the human's expression. Soon after, Star looked up at her, bringing another question to bare. "If that's the case, why aren't you guys dating?"

"Oh wow, going right for the self-esteem then, are we Star?" Pacifica asked in an exaggeratedly mean voice to cover up how that had genuinely stung, before rubbing one warm and looking at her shoes with a troubled expression of her face. "Look it's... it's because Dipper doesn't deserve to be in love with me."

_"Wow, that's a terrible thing to say." _Is what popped into Star's head first things first, but when she opened her mouth she ended up saying, in an energetic tone of voice "So, can I date Dipper then!?"

"NO!" Pacifica yelled back, managing to sound scared and angry along with romantically distressed. The intensity of the denial actually made Star step back a little, as she tried to puzzle out what that meant. Luckily, the human blond was forthcoming with an explanation, greatly slowing down from her hasty outburst. "No, I mean, Dipper doesn't deserve to be in love with someone because he doesn't deserve to be burdened with that."

"Oooookay, not where I expected to hear. What are you talking about Pacifica, there's nothing in the way for you guys! No uncertain feelings, no third girl ready sweep in on a skateboard and... take... him... oh..." Star's argument died on her lips as it finally dawned on her. _"Oh no, I'M the Jackie in this scenario!"_

However, the Butterfly's stunned silence proved helpful to Pacifica, who was able to compose herself and then begin to explain. "I... I was taught, growing up, by my parents..." she began, little hints of pain getting into her voice. "That love was a weakness, a tool to be used. You dress yourself up so that men fall in love with you, then you use that to your advantage, wring them out for every last cent, then move on when needed. Never genuinely fall in love yourself, just use it to hurt people and get ahead in the world of the wealthy." She explained, then in a cold tone, added. "They were very insistent about making me learn this idea."

Star got a very deep frown on her face as Pacifica told part of the story with her words and most of it with her voice. _"I mean, I'd know that she knew what it was like since I first really talked to her, but Pacifica... her parents sound awful! I thought my mom was demanding and overbearing, this girl sounds like she'd been raised by St. Olga herself! ...Whoever that actually is..."_

"...And I know, now, that isn't right, that isn't what love actually is..." Pacifica admitted, beginning to get tears in her eyes. "...But I don't know anything else. I don't know how to love someone the right way, and if I ever tried to make my feelings known with him... I'd only end up hurting him. Hurting him in a way he's already been hurt before, and doesn't deserve to be hurt again."

With some teary eyes of her own, Star took a few steps forward and offered her human friend a hug, which Pacifica accepted after a moment of thought. It ended quickly enough, but both girls felt it had done its job. "Pacifica... look..." Star began, trying to be encouraging. "Maybe you don't know what real love is, but the fact that you know that what your parents tried to teach you to do isn't it tells me you're already better than the ruthless, rubber stamping, mindless legacy machine they tried to make you into." Then, with a small smile, she added "Besides, I can't think of anyone better for you to try and learn about love from than Dipper. He is really smart after all!"

"He really is." Pacifica said with a sniffle before looking up at her friend. "Thank you Star. But... what about you? I can tell that you, well... you know. And I feel like you'd make a great girlfriend too..."

Star was shocked to the core by this. What was Pacifica doing!? Was she genuinely trying to pass on Dipper, or... _"No." _Star thought to herself. _"That's just the self-loathing talking." _

Then, with a deep breath and a look straight into her recent friend's eye, Star Butterfly came to terms with herself.

"It's... no. My feelings for Dipper, are, they're... misplaced." Star began to explaining, running her hands over a strand of hair nervously. "Back when I was on Earth, I had a friend. A great friend, the perfect friend! But, too late I realized, I wanted to be more than friends with him, but by then... it was too late, for a lot of reasons. He's a lot like Dipper, in the important ways, but they're actually very different from each other ultimately. I was... reckless. And careless. And stupid. As usual." Star said, her tone getting heavier with each sentence as her posture sank. "I just wanted to jam Dipper into the Marco shaped hole in my heart before I'd even gotten to know him, but now I see how much that wouldn't have been right. For anyone." With the fakest smile the princess could push, she added "You two are perfect for each other though!"

Still silent and obviously struggling, Pacifica turned her eyes towards her feet again, prompting Star to speak once again. "Look, even if it doesn't work out, SOMEHOW, you need to come clean to him and give this a try at least! Even if it fails and burns out, the pain from that can't be worse than the pain of seeing your opportunity fly by and vanish forever!" She spoke in an unexpectedly stern tone, every fiber of her being hoping Pacifica would understand her. "Believe me, I know from experience!"

The two were quiet again for a little bit longer, neither really able to look at the other, before the last piece put itself together in Pacifica's head. As her expression became more resolute, she said "Thank you Star." then reached forward and gave the princess a comforting hug. As the two withdrew, their eyes connected and the girl from earth made a very heartfelt vow. "I know this must be painful for you Star, but I really can't thank you enough. I promise that me and Dipper will help you get through your own emotional trouble, okay?"

Star nodded gratefully at this promise, but after a moment gave her friend a forced smile and woodenly sarcastic tone of voice. "Yeah, that sounds great, I appreciate it Paz. But not right now! Right now, you gotta go get your man!"

Laughing a little at Star's tone, Pacifica responded with "I guess I do." before making her way to the door back into the castle. Before opening it and disappearing, she looked back and offered the princess one last, sincere "Thank you."

Star returned with a dismissive wave of the hand and a "Don't mention it!" before the feeling of being alone again really hit her. With a quiet sigh, she turned towards the sunset and set to work putting her feelings in order enough to go face the new couple.

"Hey Dipper."

Startling somewhat, the boy looked up from his scrutinizing review of the mewman tome to look his visitor in the eye. "Oh, hey Pacifica! Sorry, you startled me. Even in the quiet of this library I still have my nose too deep in a book to notice something." He explained jokingly.

"Right." Pacifica responded with a small giggle, grabbing one of the chairs and setting it right next to Dipper's before sitting down, so they were as close as possible. "Dipper... Mason..." She asked, using the boy's real name, which he had shared with her in utmost confidence, only to instantly find it tasting somewhat sour on her tongue and on the boy's own face. "Dipper... I have something I need to ask you..." she said, her hand sliding up to entangle with his.

The Pines boy's mouth was completely dry at this point, he swiftly found himself overwhelmed by whatever Pacifica was up to. _"She... she used my real name for a second. What's happening!? Could it be... NO!"_

"...And, before you answer me, I am perfectly healthy and of sound mind!" The blond girl said a little sharply, and based on the small flinch and guilty look it produced on Dipper's face, it had done its job and made him take this as seriously as possible.

_"Where do I even start!?" _Pacifica raged inside herself. _"We've been friends for a long time... No, that's too sappy. Dipper, do you think I'm pretty? NO! That will just make me sound superficial! Dipper, more than anything, I want you to take me in your big strong arms and un WHERE DID THOSE THOUGHTS COME FROM!?"_

"DIPPER PINES I'VE LOVED YOU FOR AWHILE AND WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

As soon as she said it, Pacifica covered her own mouth while blushing incredibly bright red, a complexion that was mirrored on Dipper's face. The confession echoes through the silent library, and while that would normally be enough to embarrass the girl to death, Pacifica's long day among the tomes let her know that the royal library was completely empty save for the lone librarian and dusted over.

After a long bout of silence between them, Dipper wrapped his other hand around the two that Pacifica had previously connected together. "Paz..." he said, nervous stutter in his voice and a lot of sweat on his face. "I... I can... we can... try that... sure." Looking down at the desk and pulling his hat low, Dipper further explained that "I think... I've had similar feelings... about you."

"What." Pacifica asked bluntly, expression going into disbelief and the blush draining off her face. Her second hand came around and clamped on top of the mess that was now all of their hands together, and she looked straight at Dipper with a stern look of confused disbelief. "You... you've what?"

"I've... had feelings for you, too?" He responded hesitantly.

"For how long?"

"For... for awhile now."

"For. How. Long?"

"Probably since, uh... maybe about one year into my apprenticeship with Grunkle Ford? Maybe... maybe six months in?"

"..."

"Paz..."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER!?" Pacifica suddenly demanded to know. She wasn't angry or violent with Dipper, not in the traditional sense, but her voice had a lot of built up hurt leaking into it. "Do you have any idea how much emotional turmoil we could have avoided!? I... I've looked up to you since the night at the mansion Dipper! If you had asked me out at any point after that night, I would have said yes!"

"Because I thought you deserved better!" Dipper responded back, pressured from being yelled at and a little emotionally hurt himself. "And I don't just mean because you're upper class or anything, I mean you're a great, beautiful person who had the strength of character to change herself for the better, and I'm just... ME!" He said, feeling doubt beset him. "I mean, I'm weak, I'm short, I'm weird, I'm creepy, I smell bad, I live in a basement playing tabletop games, I got this stupid mark on my head, I have a shrill voice, I'm not manly, I sneeze like a kitten, I... I..."

All the anger and frustration drained out of Pacifica's body as she heard Dipper rant about himself, and understood him. Now moving with tender grace, the blond girl untangled her hands from his, then put both of hers on Dipper's shoulders. "Hey... Dipper, it's alright. I'm sorry for blowing up earlier. That was unfair of me, since, well, I thought this whole time you deserved better as well." The boy clearly wanted to respond to this statement, but Pacifica quieted him by speaking again. "Let me show you just how amazing you really are."

And with that, Pacifica leaned across the two chairs put right next to each other, and kissed Dipper on the lips.

Surprise shook through the boy's body, but rather than make him jump away or break the kiss, the jolt of surprise just made him melt, helpless against the soft touch of her lips on his. Both being inexperienced at this though, they needed to separate for air fairly quick, finally giving Dipper a chance to speak. "Okay Paz..." he said in a voice that would sound playful if it wasn't clear that Dipper had been made borderline delirious by his first real romantic encounter. "...We can give this a try. But on one condition."

"What is it?"

"Let me show you how amazing you really are."

The new couple kissed again, this time lead by Dipper, and from her position behind a bookcase, Star Butterfly let out a bittersweet sigh of contentment at the sight. She still stung a little bit inside, but that feeling of pain was dwarfed one thousand fold by the joy she felt at the couple in front of her truly connecting and at her own personal satisfaction at having made the right choice for herself as well. _"I shouldn't be dating now anyways. I just need to give the whole dating game a break for awhile. When the time is right, maybe they'll help me find someone else." _She thought to herself with a distant but satisfied look on her face. However, a sudden sight caused Star to scowl.

The old, decrepit Mewman woman who was the chief and only librarian here had finally made her way over to the source of the noise, and appeared to be building up wind to interrupt the new couple. _"Oh, I'm not having ANY of that!"_

Using her magic to cross the floor without disturbing the still making out new couple, Star got directly in the librarian's face and spoke to her with a harsh whisper. "Hi, Princess Butterfly here. Recognize the wand and the cheekmarks?" When the librarian simply blinked in confusion at her in response, Star kept going. "So, by royal decree, these two can make out in the library as much as they want without being interrupted. So, you can just turn right around and go polish the blank library cards no one ever buys."

Surrounded by paper, the couple broke their kiss again, having held it a little longer this time. Instead of resuming though, they just took a minute to gently touch their foreheads together, Pacifica having first taken off Dipper's hat and run her hand through his hair, exposing his birthmark which she beamed at with pride. For the moment, at least, the mutual doubts and self-loathing that kept this relationship for happening for so long simply faded away, having melted off their bodies into a mixed puddle and then been washed down the drain. At that moment all that existed for Pacifica was Dipper, and all that existed for Dipper was Pacifica.

Both of them thought that was pretty alright.


	7. Silver Bell Ball

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

_Yep, you're getting two of these this chapter, there's a second one at the bottom. So, those of you who have followed this fanfic and aren't picking it up for the first time have probably noticed it is now rated M. For those of you who have discovered this at a later date, welcome! This story was originally published as T rated._

_I decided that the rating on this story needed to be bumped up due to both the violent content that is in this chapter specifically and may be present in later chapters, a fairly dark and heavy theme that will be present further into the chapter, as well as the possibility of depicting intimacy between the story's couples in later chapters. I am, of course, open to feedback on all of these changes and ideas, and hope I am using them well enough to genuinely strengthen the story._

_You have been warned._

* * *

The dark, gothic halls of the Underworld stand brightened this evening, stone walls innervated with gently winding vines of green blooming with purple flowers, patterned in such a way that they almost seemed to be leading one through the labyrinth, the gentle lavender leaves turning themselves towards the burning heart of the Lucitor Kingdom, growing more abundant with proximity to the infernal light. The familiar wiffs of brimstone were joined by the soft sounds of a choir of beings alien to this world and the gentle hum of the flute, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere.

Through these halls stepped the royalty of many worlds, most prominent among them the Family Butterfly. Walking together, guided through the depths by a frenetic demon in a checker board patterned suit who had been juggling several royal families at the gates before being assigned to bring this one in. The three nobles and their two courtiers stepped lightly through the depths, senses alive and wary.

Further away, beyond the heart of the sun that is the Underworld dimension, a small man with a large crown sits among a beautiful garden, abundant green speckled by all traces of the rainbow growing in every direction. There is no gentle music here, no smell of brimstone and the temperature lacks the pervasive mild discomfort of the rest of the dimension. Here, insulated from the rigors of the Underworld and nourished by a small artificial sun fueled by forsaken souls, under the supervision of King Dave of Lucitor, a small patch of the world above flourishes.

The king is here at the moment, watching with a cracked eyebrow and an otherwise blank expression as squirming caterpillars struggle to dig a shallow hole in the ground before him. _"Such a little thing..." _He thought to himself while delicately holding a small, tender sapling in his left hand, patiently waiting for the moment to set it down. _"...But I must keep my abilities practiced somehow." _

He could feel the small creatures below him wiggling across his brain. It was the downside of magically transmitting your thoughts and wishes to other lifeforms, that they could enter your own mind in turn, but such small lifeforms posed little threat to the King of the Underworld. _"At worst, I might find myself unintentionally picking the salad at tonight's ball, and perhaps that is for the best. That invasion proved a lovely diet for the Butterfly family, it would be unfortunate if we were seen as... lacking in temperance, by comparison."_

The insects continued to squirm beneath him, shivering as strange and alien thoughts filled their small brains, ideas they couldn't begin to comprehend dominating their minds, but still, the command to dig overpowered all. The shallow hole was now almost the perfect shape for the growing tree, a perfect work of magical construction. _"Just a few... more... delicate... touches..."_

"Hey dad."

King Dave's reserved expression abruptly broke into a scowl. His son, Tom Lucitor, had appeared behind him without him realizing it. "Tom." He said curtly, making his annoyance clear through tone alone.

"Mom says it's time to come up, the guests will be here soon." Tom conveyed, obvious annoyance in his voice as well.

"Well, since you've just ruined all the effort I put into planning the growth of this new tree, let's make sure your mother's efforts to plan the Ball aren't similarly wasted." Dave said bluntly while bending down, scooping at the incomplete hole in the ground once with his pinky finger before setting the sapling in and covering its roots. Standing back up, he made a little noise of discontent. "Such a shame. Had I gotten that right it would have been a perfect addition to our little slice of Mewni."

Shuffling in place a little uncomfortably, Tom began to speak back to his father with a confrontational tone of voice, though with much less aggression and confidence than the demon prince normally uses when expressing his displeasure. "What's even the point of having the Silver Bell Ball this year? Mewni has just beem invaded! I'd be surprised if they even showed up, and we all know the rest of these kingdoms are all jokes..."

Willing a small flicker of blue flame to consume his pinky for a moment in order to incinerate the dirt stuck to it, Dave turned to address his son, taking a deep breath before putting a hand over his shoulder and giving him a smile, both of which were warm and fatherly. "You betray your own political ignorance again Tom." He stated, sounding for all the world like a relaxed dad trying to teach his son how to fish for the first time. "This is the one Silver Bell Ball they can't afford to miss. They've already lost a sizable amount of prestige simply requesting the change of venue, they must make an appearance to maintain an air of confidence and stability." Then, with a more sly expression, he added "And of course, THAT means they'll be bringing one Butterfly in particular with them, no doubt..."

"Dad, c'mon..." Tom remarked with obvious discomfort while rubbing one arm with the other in an expression of nervousness. "...You heard the Song Day, uh, song just as clearly as I did. Princess Star is in love with Marco. I've got no chance."

"And who is this Marco Díaz anyways? This human that you're always complaining about to your mother and I?" King Dave asked with a contentious tone to his eyes, giving Tom a sarcastically questioning look before removing his hand from the boy's shoulder and turning his back to his son, cape swishing in place as he moved. "Simply a commoner from an obscure, politically insignificant dimension. Surely you've gotten close enough to him at this point that he can be removed from the equation?"

When Tom didn't respond, still looking unsure, Dave turned back to his son, imploring him "Do not let all your previous efforts go to waste! Your mother and I have already provided you a number of resources to pursue Princess Butterfly's hand, including total authority over the Blood Moon event, for all the good you managed to do with that. It would have made for an extremely prestigious royal ball you know." He concluded with a more snide tone.

"...I know dad, but I..." Tom spoke up, muttering with shame, but Dave cut him off, turning about to face his son and using the most effective tactic he knew.

"You are Tom Lucitor, Prince of the Underworld! Mewni, it's princess, its kinghood... they are yours for the taking, yours by right!" The king exclaimed, attempting to stoke the rage inside his his son. "We are the superior people! Their magic wand is but a singular, trifling trinket compared to the great ocean of souls we command! It is your destiny to bring our greatness out of the depths, to share it with the world! Would you have us submit to lesser beings by denying that?"

Tom's third eye was beginning to quiver, and with an internal smirk, Dave doubled down, striking right where he knew his son would feel it. "Princess Star Butterfly, as I have said many times before, belongs to you! She, despite her great beauty, is a lost, feckless, perpetual youth who will bring ruin to the dimension of Mewni if allowed to hold all power over it. She requires a strong hand, forged in fire, to bring about greatness! That hand is yours my son!" Putting his hand back on his son's shoulder, Dave continued. "Are you going to let some peasant filth from a dead end dimension, the worthless words of an idiot bard, or the ineffectual Queen of a sacked castle keep you from what you deserve!? Are going to let them deny you the luscious, soft body of Star Butterfly, her velvet lips and warm arms!?"

The prince of demons was silent again, but this time, it was born of freshly ignited, deep burning anger. Dave smiled as he felt it ripple through his son's body and up his own arm. _"There's that fighting spirit!"_

Turning the gentle touch to the shoulder into an encouraging up and down pat, Dave suddenly stepped away from his son and walked towards the exit of the garden. "Now then, let's get to the party, shall we? I'm sure we've kept your mother waiting long enough." Then, with a look over his shoulder, he added "And remember, your anger is a righteous source of power, but it must serve you instead of you serving it."

The two Lucitor royals soon departed the garden, leaving behind the freshly planted sapling. It had grown almost two feet taller since King Dave had placed it in the ground, the discarded caterpillars lying withered around its base. Their life forces had been drained to give the sapling a boost up on life, ripped out by the king and fed to the tree in the short term, and their bodies would be similarly consumed, via the roots this time, in the long term.

* * *

_Three hours ago_

"Okay Dipper, I'm ready!"

Inside the bedroom of Princess Star Butterfly, an extra sized privacy divider had been conjured by magic to almost cut the room in two. On one side of it, Dipper Pines was carefully examining the contents of portable table assembled there earlier, back dutifully turned to the shadow play that could faintly be divined through the screen. On the other side of it, Star had been showing Pacifica Northwest her formal dress collection, and the two had settled on which one the human blond would be borrowing for the night.

Now, with implicit permission given, Dipper turned around just in time to see his new girlfriend step out from beyond the divider in one of Mewni's finest garments. As they'd only been dating for a few days at this point, the sight of her still took Dipper's breath away each time it fell upon her after even the shortest break.

"So, how do I look?" Pacifica asked coyly, fluffing her hair a little and doing a quick twirl to give Dipper a full look, all while stepping towards him. She was wearing a strapless dress of soft blue color, with a deep blue heart covering the front between six silver buttons tied together with gold. The back and sides of the dress were patterned with intricate flower designs that faded into white sparkles near her legs. In terms of cut, it looked like a mix between a hobble skirt dress from the 1920's and a Victorian gown.

Wrapping his arms around her to meet her approach, Dipper looked into Pacifica's eyes and nervously complemented "You look really great Pacifica... I mean, you always look great, but now... wow..."

Although Pacifica was able to meet Dipper's eyes with a steady gaze and a warm smile, on the inside her heart was pounding just as hard as his. She felt like his warm words could lift her off her own two feet. The two could have kept their eyes locked together for awhile this way, but luckily(?) for them a distraction made itself known shortly.

"Told you he'd love it girl!" Star spoke up, emerging from behind the divider herself. She was wearing a three colored dancing dress, the top section soft blue and round at the shoulders with white trim, while the bottom section of the dress, separated from the top by a white bow, was primarily purple with sections of pink and white lining. Her blond hair was styled up into a pair of buns around her crown, while a trail of gold fell past each eye. "Alright, enough of the mushy stuff, let's get a look at the party favors for tonight's big event!" The princess exclaimed with a playfully mischievous tone as she rushed up to the cluttered portable table.

Looming to her side dryly, Pacifica remarked "You don't look half bad yourself, handsome. Although..." With a flick of her wrist, the blond girl produced a comb and proceeded to give a flustered Dipper one long, slow comb of the hair over his forehead, allowing his birthmark to shine out into the room unobstructed. "There, perfect!" She remarked, before giving the boy a peck on the cheek and trotting over to join Star.

Before joining her friend at the table. Dipper took a few seconds to stand in place blushing, looking at his shoes, and twirling a string of hair coming off his combed hair. He was lacking a hat at the moment, obviously, but was finely dressed to match the girls in the room, wearing a red colored suit (both jacket and slacks matching) with a blue undershirt and a black tie. The tie in question was also patterned with a line of skull and crossbones symbols.

"I still feel like I'm a little tacky looking, especially compared to you guys." He remarked a little awkwardly before joining them on the edge of the table. Star, who was enraptured by what was in front of her, didn't even look behind her when she stated "Don't worry, you'll fit right in at an Underworld party."

"Thanks Star." Dipper replied, and took his own appraisal of the armory spread in front of them. "Grunkle Stan can certainly come through when you need some tools, can't he? And of course, a few home made gadgets as well, courtesy of Grunkle Ford..."

The table in front of the three was covered with enough tools of skulduggery to rob a small bank: Lockpicks, ice picks, miniature hammers, screwdrivers, a few vials of acid, protective charms, brass knuckles, filing equipment, spell detectors, a collapsible crossbow, magic rings, gasoline packs, tweezers, lighters, fake mustaches, a rubber duck, a homemade block of plastic explosive, and a single brightly colored cupcake, glistening with a thick layer or sprinkles.

Reaching out and taking a bite from the cupcake before offering it to the other two, Star asked through chewing teeth "So, you two ready for the most interesting Silver Bell Ball in decades?"

* * *

"Queen Butterfly, it is our honor to host you this evening." King Dave spoke genially with a small bow. As the guests of honor here, he had made sure to greet the Butterfly family in person.

"King Dave. The Kingdom of Mewni and myself both thank you deeply for being willing to shoulder the burden of this grand tradition on such short notice." Queen Moon responded, greeting him with equal decorum. Then, she turned her head to the other Lucitor Royals. "Queen Wrathmelior, Prince Tom, our thanks extend to you as well."

"Yes, it is good to see you again Queen Wrathmelior, Prince Tom!" King River spoke up abruptly, much more jovial and casual than his wife. "Hello Dave."

"River." The King of the Underworld said bluntly before turning his attention to the last Butterfly present. "And of course it is our honor to host Princess Star... and her two, um, who are these two... exactly?" Dave asked, seemingly genuinely surprised by the addition of two more teenagers alongside the princess.

"Ah, yes, don't mind them." Queen Moon spoke up quickly. "Considering the very reasons that the Silver Bell Ball is being hosted in your dominion this year, I believed it to be prudent to invest in some additional security for my daughter and heir. These are her new bodyguards. They may look young but they come very highly recommended, I assure you. They're with her all hours of the day for the duration of the uncertainty in the Kingdom of Mewni, so I hope you don't mind we've brought them along. Not to worry, they blend right into the background."

"I see... yes." King Dave remarked, gently stroking his chin in contemplation. "As always Queen Butterfly, your wisdom is without peer."

"Oh my, I didn't realize things were that bad for Mewni!" Queen Wrathmelior spoke up. One could have interpreted what she said as a slight, but the demon queen in a black dress spoke with too much sincerity for any but the most vulnerable to insults to interpret it that way.

"Mewni has faced worse in the past, and no doubt will endure worse in the future. If it is to ever break forever, perish the thought, it will come from circumstances far worse than this" Moon remarked sagely, and in response Dave muttered a small "Perish the thought." at the idea of Mewni falling. With a more outspoken tone, Moon then stated "Now, River and I would like to sample the refreshment briefly after the trip here. Then, you and Queen Wrathmelior can show us how you've gone about adopting the Silver Bell Ball to your lovely castle."

"It was a rather exciting process, getting ready for all this, I'm sure you're going to love it!" The queen of demons spoke up in response. "When you're ready to start the tour, me and Dave will be over at the blood fountain! Come on dear." With that, the royal couples split apart, leaving the teenagers conversing near the entrance. As the Butterfly family had a moment to themselves on the crowded floor, Queen Moon couldn't help but giggle into her gloved hand after a moment.

"It's been some time since I've had to do something like that." She admitted softly, to which River gave her a warm and proud smile. "That certainly brings back memories."

"You didn't lose any of your touch Moonpie, I can tell you that." The King spoke up. "My clever vixen, always making sure our adventures went so well with her quick words and sharp tongue. I didn't doubt for a moment you could pull it off again."

"Oh stop it, River." Moon said back playfully. "Our last adventure together like that was almost a decade ago, and I'll need to keep this up all night. Don't count the dragons before they hatch." She explained a little more wearily, but then, with a small smile, added "Although, if I might indulge in a few fate invoking words, I hope we don't need any of _your_ old adventuring skills tonight."

"Yes, well... As much as it would be a sign things have gone wrong, I'd be lying if a small part of me isn't hoping I might end up reenacting my first meeting with King Dave sometime tonight. And I could never lie to you."

* * *

_Decades Ago_

"At last, my quest is complete! I've finally discovered the long lost Nussleinan Matrix! Such a wonder that the ancients could compress so much magic into such a small..."

"JOHANSEN HO!"

"RIVER, WAIT, DON'T RUN! THERE COULD BE TRAPS UP AHEAD!"

"NOTHING HERE BUT A FOUL WITCH IN A DRESS MY DARLING, ATTEMPTING TO STEAL THE ARTIFACT!"

"WHAT, WHO!? YOUR MAJES...AUGH!"

* * *

"I've apologized for that Moon, I truly have! Numerous times at that! Yet I can't but feel like he still holds it against me..." River ruminated with a hand on his beard.

"He was trying to acquire a suitable wedding present for his engagement to Wrathmelior." Moon chided back. "He had to limp down the aisle with a black eye because of all that!"

The previously jovial barbarian king's eyes went cold for a moment, as he remembered all that entailed. "Yes, normally he would have had ample time to heal from such a light thrashing, but his wedding to then Princess Wrathmelior ended up... rushed." By now they'd reached the refreshment table and the king had taken a drink of punch.

Instantly catching her husband's drift, Queen Moon took on a cool expression while sampling a drink of her own. "You remember correctly. Depending on if we turn up anything interesting tonight, the great Lucitor tragedy may be due for a fresh investigation."

Back near the entrance, the four youths had been left alone with each other as the two royal couples split up and departed. "So, welcome to the ball Starship, no need for all that formal junk around me." Tom spoke up first, a confident tone to his voice. His third eye swept the Princess' two companions while his main ones upheld eye contact with her. "So, your mom's got you saddled with the old 'ever-present bodyguards' thing now huh? Well, no worries, if you're looking to we can totally ditch these stiffs, I know all the best places to just hang out around here."

Dipper and Pacifica immediately focused their expressions on the demon prince as soon as he started talking with his somewhat oily tones, a pair of hard expressions that did their best to not betray genuine emotion. Star however, just assumed a haughty air, like she would when she would make fun of her mom, and responded by saying "You offer is acknowledged, Prince Thomas, but unwanted. I have no intention of separating from the people who are only here to ensure my safety this evening. Good day to you." in a flat but diplomatic tone, before simply stepping past the demon royal, her two bodyguards shuffling along with her. Dipper and Pacifica both turned their heads over their shoulders though, the human girl giving Tom the classic "point at my eyes, then point at yours" while Dipper did the same but with only one finger, which he pointed at Tom's third eye.

Left standing by himself, Tom simply narrowed all three eyes as he watched the others walk away. Behind his fierce expression, gears were turning in his head, and very quickly at that. _"I hadn't really expected her to take me up on that offer right away, that was more meant to just plant the seeds for later, but she shot the whole thing straight down. Star didn't express the slightest bit of resentment or annoyance at the fact her mother stuck her with a pair of babysitters who barely look older than she is." _He thought to himself, mentally pouring over everything he knew about the Princess of Mewni while offhandedly snapping a finger. _"That isn't like her at all. Something more is going on with these 'bodyguards' of hers."_

Called by magic in response to the prince snapping his fingers, a smaller example of demon-kind scuttled up to Tom's side. "Yes, Master Tom?" he asked in a professional voice.

"Forget about the princess." He stated, while pointing out Dipper and Pacifica. "Keep your eyes on those two."

* * *

Outside the royal palace of the Underworld, ample parking for a large number of lavish carriages had been provided behind the wrought iron gates that separated the domain of the royals from the rest of the capital city. As a result of the stark contrast, the rubbish van parked across the street from the palace, on the wrong side of the gates, drew much more attention than the vehicle normally did when blending into an urban environment.

Inside the spacious back compartment of the vehicle, Stanford Pines was hunched over one of several monitoring devices the vehicle had been equipped with, on top of its secondary role as a backup escape route. After checking on several magic scanners to see all levels were consistent, Ford activated a modified a walkie talkie and began speaking into it. "Pines 1, this is Pines 2, over. Have you gained access to the ballroom?"

Inside the palace, Dipper's carefully concealed earpiece transmitted the message, and he stepped over to a punch bowl in response, pretending to almost drop his tie into the drink so he could lift it closer to speak into the bug concealed in the cloth. "Access confirmed. Pines 1, Pines 3, Polaris, Meghan and Harry have all gained access without suspicion. Contact has been made with Napoleon, Lilith, and Trioculus. Looking for opportunity to infiltrate." Dipper informed back, but with a sideways glance narrowed his eyes. "Be advised Pines 2, Pines 3 is giving me a sarcastic expression that implies she doesn't realize our professional spy terminology is totally cool."

"Acknowledged Pines 1." Ford spoke back. He was prepared to end the transmission there with a soft smile on his face, but suddenly, the back doors of the van were knocked on quite harshly. "Be advised, Pines 1, potential distraction is incoming. Over and out."

Dipper stepped away from the punch bowl with the conversation over as Pacifica made her way closer to him. "It's a shame we can't really have a dance here tonight." She admitted while getting a drink for herself, her teasing expression gone now. "Despite the whole Gothic Horror vibe this place has going on it isn't a bad party." Taking a sip of her cup, Pacifica added with a dry tone "I should have known I'd end up in hell at some point."

"Hey, same here." Dipper replied with an equally dry tone, and both chuckled a little. Both were fully prepared to keep flirting with each other, but both kept the mission in mind and turned their attention to the Princess of Mewni... Who seemed to be coming coming right at them with... someone "Dipper what is that thing?"

"I don't know, it looks like something Mabel would draw while she's blitzed out of her mind on Smile Dip."

"HEY GUYS!" Star greeted cheerfully while gesturing to her side. "Meet my oldest friend, Flying Princess Pony Head!"

The aloft equestrian cranium gave both humans a disbelieving look then snorted, turning to Star to express said disbelief. "B-Fly, have you been running around and picking up extra earth turds for whatever cray-cray reason!? What is going on with you girl!?" Then, with no acknowledgement of personal space, Pony Head ran both her snout and her horn over Dipper's head, chest and arms, snorting a few times in the process and leaving him feeling very uncomfortable. "He's even got Turdina's awkward, sweaty presence to him as well! Though I bet this one would nail the whole 'girl in a dress' look even better than Earth Turd did!" Then, she looked at Pacifica. "And what the hay is this!? Is this some weird magic thing where you cloned yourself, but then you made the clone, like, ugly, so you'd look better by comparison!?" Finally, with a more calm expression, she turned back to Star and stated "Pretty slick move there B-Fly, I approve."

The two humans had expressions on their faces conveying that they'd be insulted if they weren't so surprised. "I've only known you for less than a minute and I already hate you." Dipper responded with a very flat expression on his face and tone to his voice. "You may be the worst thing I've ever met in this already pretty terrible collection of dimensions."

"Ah yeah, Pony Head staying on top!" The newly introduced princess cheered to herself, feeling like she'd accomplished something.

"So are you_ supposed_ to just be a head or are you the result of generations of Habsburg family shrubbery nonsense that whittled you down to just that?" Pacifica asked with a sarcastic tone and cracked eyebrow. The reference was lost on both princesses but Dipper let out a single sharp laugh at it. "Nice one Pacifica." He complemented.

"Thanks, that part of the lecture on productive marriages always stuck with me."

"Look, as a floating head and not much else she's probably got a heart the size of a peppercorn!"

"Her lungs corroded and her intestines gangrenous..."

"Pointy head's probably full of water..."

"A single shriveled ovary, black as coal..."

"...and regularly baffles Mewmandom by continuing to live."

Both princesses were frozen in place as the two humans finished their mutual insult chain. Dipper and Pacifica, coming down from the emotional high of defending each other, exchanged a brief sideways glance and began to wonder if they'd messed things up as Star look mortified, but after a moment of silence in the small circle of the otherwise still busy party, Pony Head lead back midair and let out an appreciative, snorting laugh.

"Dang girl, these two spite FIRE!" She exclaimed, before flying in-between the human couple, insinuating herself on both their shoulders while Dipper and Pacifica glared at her. "I feel like I'd be grievously insulted if I had understood any of that. You two got guts!" Flying back over to Star, she looked down on her old friends and asked in a more demanding tone "Alright, spill it B-Fly, they're way too cool to be bodyguards your mom hired."

All three people with regular humanoid bodies reacted with a sudden strike of nervousness as Pony Head chanced upon their true nature, causing the flying royal to let out a snort of satisfaction that made everyone even more nervous looking. "HA! I wasn't actually sure something was up but that just confirmed it! You guys are actually giant losers!"

"Pony Head, please!" Star begged her in a whispering voice, causing the other princess to get a slightly more serious face and turn to her friend. "I can't really talk about it in the crowd here, but... they're here to help." She explained in the barest way possible. "With Tom." She added, in a more disgruntled voice.

"Speaking of the devil..." Dipper remarked dryly, having looked over his shoulder just in time to spot the topic of conversation making his way towards him. In response, Pony Head narrowed her eyes an got a devious look on her face.

"Say no more B-Fly, Pony Head knows the score!" The flying unicorn explained. "Leave this to me!" She announced before flying away from the group and heading straight for Tom.

"Is this our opportunity?" Pacifica asked, looking back and forth between Star and Pony Head.

The Princess of Mewni stood on her heels and scanned the crowd with a palm over her eyes. "Looks like mom and dad have the Lucitor parents tied up. As good an opportunity as any Dipper!"

"Looks like I'm going in then." The boy replied, leaning over to give Pacifica a peck on the cheek before vanishing into the crowd, the opposite direction as Pony Head. The girl from Earth couldn't help but blush a little at this despite herself while Star couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy from shooting across her heart. Scowling and turning her head a little, Pacifica crossed her arms and muttered "Dummy's gonna blow our cover..." while still smiling a little.

Out in the crowd, Pony Head had successfully intercepted Tom, nearly bowling the demon over as she flew into his personal space. "Hey Tom, long time no see!" She exclaimed, flying around his head enough times to make the prince slightly dizzy despite him actively trying not to follow her with any of his three eyes. "C'mon, let's get these stiffs back to life, let's do some dancing!"

From Tom's expression, it was immediately obvious he had no interest in sharing a dance with the flying unicorn princess, but all his attempts to step past her were foiled by her obnoxiously hovering around in front of him. "Hey, good to see you again." He remarked in the most flat, insincere voice possible. "Actually I was thinking I'd ask Princess Butterfly to the honor of the first dance with me tonight, so please..."

"Aww, what's the matter big boy?" Princess Pony Head cooed, instantly slipping into the most demeaning voice in her arsenal. With a devious whisper that would go unheard by anyone except the prince of demons, she asked "Those skinny arms not up to the task of filling up my neckhole and hitting the back once the after party comes around?" Then, getting even closer to Tom's face, Pony Head added "Or maybe something _else_ isn't up to the task..."

Tom's face blanched with naked, unfiltered disgust at the object of his affection's oldest friend, skin crawling so strongly it seemed like all three of his eyes might pop out because of it. "What the actual fu...AAAAUUGGHHH!" His curse was cut short when Pony Head unexpectedly clamped her cud chewing teeth down on his wrist, then flew towards the dance floor.

"C'WMEN EEMON BOH, RWET'S DOONCE!" She yelled out between clenches, full teeth, dragging and spinning Tom around the dance floor by the arm. The demon prince was dragged and bounced like a rag doll as the Pony Head dragged his arm with her mouth as roughly as seemingly possible. Most of the bystanders assumed this was simply how a species without arms danced and clapped politely, a misconception not helped by King Pony Head yelling encouragingly from the sidelines. "GO MY CHILD, COMPLETE THE DANCE OF OUR PEOPLE!"

On the sidelines, Star watched with a blank and slightly embarrassed face, while Pacifica sipped her drink with a sardonic expression on her face. "So, that's your oldest friend, right?" The blond from earth asked as the cup left her lips.

"...Yes?" Star responded uncertainly. Quietly, and too herself, she added "This is actually unexpectedly helpful of her..."

"Star... even as someone whose comparatively new to the whole... friendship thing, I can confidently say you need better friends."

* * *

_Five Minutes Ago_

Stanford Pines had responded by the rapping on the back of the van he was in by quickly pocketing a few objects from around the interior then stepping back, shouting that he was opening the back doors up, then doing so. When the metal plate on a hinge swung open, he found himself face to face with a pair of scowling, uniformed demons. _"Some manner of law enforcement, based on the uniforms and the weapons." _He conjectured in his head.

"Right then. Step out of the carriage now, chop chop." One demanded, gesturing with his club. Ford complied, raising his hands up with his palms towards the officers in the process.

"What seems to be the problem officers?" The man from earth asked in the most diplomatic tone possible.

"Told ya' he'd be a bloody mewman." The other officer spoke up. "Only a mewman would have the audacity to park a disposable looking rust bucket across the way from this season's biggest meeting of royalty, outside the palace of our King and Savior (flames preserve his soul), and then wonder what the bloody problem is when confronted about it."

"So, what's the occasion, butterfly bait?" The first officer to asked, not directly responding to his partner's successful guess. "Looking to snap some pics for a trashy tabloid? Planning to open that coat of yours in front of some royal majesty or another when they leave later this evening? Or perhaps you've got a load of unregistered fertilizer in the back of your carriage there?" He questioned, looking Ford up and down the whole while. With a tone of sneering annoyance, he added "You know, the lads and I got standing orders to go easy on you sods, cut down on diplomatic incidents coming from beat up tourists. But, given the severity of the possibilities, I don't think the chief would mind a mewman getting booked black and blue, not today of all days. Am I right mate?"

"Right as burning rain corporal. Even if he is just some namby-pamby bug-blood looking to slum it up among the 'civilized monsters' and raises some fuss with Ol' Queen Mooner about getting some sense beat into him, I'm sure it'll slide today of all days." The second law enforcer answered. "We were all told to treat event security with the upmost seriousness after all."

"Now gentleman, there's no need for all that." Ford responded, sounding as diplomatic as possible. "I can assure you I'm not here to cause any trouble, and any problems you have with the Kingdom of Mewni I more than likely share with you. They are hardly my favorite people either."

"Ooooh, you a tributary then?" The lower ranked officer asked, a touch of genuine curiosity to his voice while his partner was as hard faced as ever. "You look too healthy to be one of the spider eaten if I'm being honest. You one of those swamp mongrels then? Out here today to support your little consort-king?"

"Alright, that's enough, not like none of that matters, and even if it did you're actually only making yourself more suspicious." The lead police officer explained. "Turn around, hands against the back of the carriage, you are officially under arrest."

"On what charges?" Ford demanded, sounding indignant but it was really just a stalling tactic as he tried to work out the last step of his escape plan.

"Bloody hell if I know you bleeding todger. The King's Justice will work out what you're guilty of after we bring you in." The lead officer responded, his professional tone slipping with hints of annoyance and aggression now. "Now, turn around, hands on the carriage!"

"Alright, I'll cooperate." Ford stated, turning his back as instructed. However, when the second officer stepped forward, holding his club ready in his hands instead of a pair of handcuffs, the experienced adventurer jumped into action. Moving with speed you wouldn't expect from someone so old, Ford sent the elbow of his raised left arm slamming into the face of the approaching officer, crushing his nose flat into his face. Ford followed it up by spinning around in a half circle, slamming the fist of the exact same arm into the exact same face, a crumpling blow that knocked the demon to the ground.

The lead law officer burst into action, taking his subordinates place before he'd even hit the ground. He also had his club in hand, and had flicked a small switch near the base of the handle that caused the upper section of the stick to erupt with green flames. "STOP RESISTING!" He screamed, taking a swing at Stanford's head, but the old man managed to dodge the blow, resulting in the weapon leaving a smoldering dent on the back of the van instead.

Still ducked under the club swing, Ford delivered a straight armed punch directly to the elbow joint of the officer's swinging arm, causing the limb to snap straight with a painful sounding crack. The more experienced officer let out a small hiss of pain and dropped his club as a result of this, but was still otherwise combat ready, which he proved by throwing a left hook counter punch.

This swing actually managed to catch Ford on the jaw, sending him stumbling back a foot and a half, but then the police officer made a critical mistake: Instead of pressing the attack, he scrambled to recover his club, thinking that would allow him to end the fight as quickly as possible. This, however, gave Ford the opportunity to produce something much more effective from inside his coat: A dart launcher!

The air powered projectile that sprang forth has a sterile needle on the front and a cord connecting to the gun trailing behind. It buried itself into the demon's exposed neck and pumped him full of an alchemical sedative, before the wire conducted a stunning electrical charge into the being's body, resulting in him limply crumpling to the floor.

However, as soon as the senior officer had folded, the secondary officer was back on his feet, charging at Ford with his club held up in the air and ignited. However, the charge was sloppy and angry, allowing Ford to easily slip into a fighting stance while dropping the stun gun, grabbing the demon by the upper arms before he could bring the club down, and using his own energy to hurl the officer over Ford's own shoulders! And of course, since the van was directing behind Ford, the end result was the officer's face smashing into the metal door as strongly as if he'd charged straight into it.

Ford spun around and caught the guard before he fell, slamming his face into the van one more time before letting him collapse into a heap atop his partner. Both were out for the count now, allowing the veteran dimension traveler a moment to relax.

_"Always knew keeping my Plutonian Judo sharp would pay off." _Ford thought to himself, but the thoughts of his past abruptly made him shiver despite how warm the city he was standing in was. _"That was a dark time. To know I was sitting in the exact same solar system as the Earth I needed to return to, but Pluto had no spaceships and the fixed position portals of Mi-Go seemed to lead anywhere but the third planet. I was as far away from home as I'd even been, even as I watched it in the sky."_

Shaking his head to banish those old thoughts, the senior scientist made a quick examination of the two guards to make sure they'd be out for awhile, then made a cursory effort to drag them out of the street and hide them in a back alleyway.

With the two officers incapacitated for the moment, Ford scrambled back into the van, climbing into the driver's seat while activating all frequencies of his radio device and speaking. "This is Pines 2 to all units, minor altercation has occurred outside the gates. Repositioning surveillance vehicle, over."

Inside the halls of the Lucitor Castle, Dipper stepped carefully through the passages of stone as his earpiece came to life. The halls were surprisingly sparse and quiet here, and it seemed like everyone was at the party. "Acknowledged Pines 2. Pines 1 has successfully left the party, moving to stage 2." The human boy continued to lurk through the air of brimstone, eyes alert to every corner. He made a point to try each door he passed by, but found most of them curiously locked. _"Probably best to not take the risk of picking one until I find one that really looks worth it."_

Still, Dipper was getting mildly suspicious that seemingly every door he passed was locked, in what was presumably a normal royal palace full of bustling busy servants, attending courtiers and active nobles. Before he could pursue this line of thought any further though, something caught his eye and the boy tensed up: It was a shadow looming across the wall from around a turn in the corridor up ahead. Someone was coming!

Acting on instinct, Dipper flung himself towards one of the few doors he hadn't tried yet, and miraculously, it opened for him. Ducking inside but taking careful care to not slam the door, the human boy breathed heavily for a moment, making sure to secure the path behind him. When he'd calmed down slightly, he turned around to figure out just where he was, and even by the standards of the Underworld so far, Dipper found the room he was in strange.

It was a fairly small room, and appeared to be used to store an alter of some kind. At the far end of the room the stone floor gave way to a small flower bed, like a section of indoor grass, but stuffed to the brim with blooming flowers, pedals of a wide variety of colors. At the center of the flower bed was a potted tree, not a large one, but sufficiently virile that he could be seen to resemble some manner of evergreen. Both displays of plant life sat beneath a replica of a blood red moon hanging from the ceiling. Dipper sniffed the air after a moment, and the sweet and sour scent that filled his nose confirmed that these were real, living plants. Somehow.

Taking a few steps closer, Dipper was able to observe that the flowers were trampled in regular patterns, like people would tread across the bed before assuming a position of supplication before the tree. _"Kinda reminds me of that creepy tapestry Pacifica said her parents used to have. I never did figure out where that came from or what it even meant..." _The human boy mused to himself in his head.

"Quite beautiful, isn't it?"

Dipper spun around as the gravely voice entered his ears, and saw that a figure in a red hooded robe had been in the room the entire time. The hood was drawn up, and as a result of that and the room's already minimal lighting, a inscrutable black void sat where the being's face should be.

"I know you've probably already been briefed on its nature, but please, indulge me for just a moment." The hooded figure remarked, stepping past Dipper to stand on the edge of the flower bed. His cowled gaze stared at the tree. "This shrine was commissioned by King Dave early into his reign, as a proclamation and foci of his imperial ambitions."

Dipper stepped behind the hooded figure, watching him warily and sliding a hand inside his suit jacket while the (presumably) demonic abbot kept speaking. "It is strong magic at work here, strong but subtle. The wishes and prayers of his loyalist supporters are spoken here, and the words and ideas inherent in them are projected out into the great weave of destiny, so that the strings of fate might gently sway in the breeze of a whispered prayer, eventually building up enough cumulative strength to change the course of the river of fate with a million small coincidences."

Treading softly on the flowers, the keeper of the shrine explained that "The flowers represent the Butterfly Kingdom. A world of beauty and wonder, of splendor, but of no true substance. They are an empty deck of cards upheld by a singular queen, and that will he their downfall." Reaching the center of the flower bed, the demon ran a clawed hand up and down the trunk of the tree. "This represents the new world Prince Tom will create by taking the Butterfly Princess as his own. Their empty splendor will be given purpose by our industry, to create something new and beautiful, yet strong and productive. Where the flowers tread on below are weak, frail things that serve no use beyond aesthetic, this tree will one day be grown to a tower of mighty oak that bears life and gives fruit. The expanding trunk will pierce through the soil of Mewni as it grows out of the Underworld, a world tree that will unify the realms!"

Finally casting his gaze up, the abbot gazed upon the moon replica hanging above, his hood sliding back on his head slightly as he took in the sight. "And that, of course, is the actual magical foci, a figure of fate that will hopefully resonate with our imperial song and tune the cords of fate in favor of our noble cause."

Abruptly, the abbot turned around and walked off the flower bed towards Dipper, speaking with a more informative tone versus his previous solemn reverence. "The history of this magic is quite interesting actually, it was first documented by..." his breath caught in his throat as the demon monk finally got a straight look at Dipper and realized he wasn't a demon. And that he was slipping on a pair of brass knuckles.

Even through the hood darkened cowl that obscured the abbot's face, an expression of surprise managed to register with Dipper.

"Time for a dose of Iconoclasm." The human said in an attempt at being menacing before hurling his brass boosted fist into the hood of the ritual minder and felt a reassuring mix of flesh and bone yield against the impact. The demon collapsed to the floor under the force of the impact, decked straight onto his back. Holding a boxer's stance for a few more moments in case he got back up, Dipper gradually relaxed when he realized the demon was out for the count. After a moment, he grimaced at himself and muttered "That was an incredibly lame line Dipper..."

After shaking that off, the human boy finally got a good look at the mysterious shrine keeper, and found himself both wincing and a little disappointed at the truth: The hood of the robe had been thrown back by the punch Dipper had given the demon, revealing that, instead of a menacing visage, the now dented and leaking face under the cowl was soft and unassuming despite being blue in color and sort of naturally lumpy, and was adorned with a now broken pair of glasses.

Blinking in shock Dipper wondered aloud "Did I just punch out a harmless history nerd? In my quest for knowledge, have I become the very thing I've always hated?" Gently stepping over the shrine keeper, Dipper turned his rumination towards the collection of plants and the magic itself. He found himself scowling slightly at the sight.

"I'd be wary of soul merchants trying to tune the cords of fate under the best of circumstances..." he muttered with the venom only personal experience could synthesize all while reaching around inside his suit. "...and when they're doing it to try and force together a good friend with someone terrible? Well, that just cinches it." With a bottle in hand, Dipper stayed his hand for just a moment of contemplation. "I might need this gasoline for something more relevant to the mission..." he mused, but then tilted his hand the rest of the way and began to drench the flowers and the tree trunk in flammable liquid. "...But I'm willing to take that chance if it helps Star." When the bottle was empty, the Pines Twin paused again for a moment, struck by a memory, but swiftly went back to work by striking a match.

"Should have handled Gideon like this when we first met, all that time ago..."

Back on the dance floor, Princess Pony Head's diversion had finally ran its course, and while the decapitated equestrian was soaking up the attention at the center of the dance floor and bending her neck in her best imitation of a bow, Tom had stumbled away as soon as her teeth had released his wrist, muttering something about needing a bathroom and a tetanus shot.

Having moved away from the refreshment table but still with their back to a wall, Star and Pacifica had watched the entire dizzying drag dressed up as a dance with grins on their faces.

"Okay, you know what? I'll cut her some slack." Pacifica remarked after a moment. "Flying Princess Pony Head might be a vain, insulting jerkass, but..."

"Buuuuuuut?" Star asked in wonderment, eager to hear what Pacifica had to say next.

"...She's a vain, insulting jerkass who knows how to create a hell of a diversion." The blond from earth concluded. This briefly caused Star's face to fall, but she accepted it in short enough order. The two stood next to each other contently for a few moments before Star started a new conversation.

"So, are noble parties like this on Earth?" She asked Pacifica.

"Well, to start with, we don't call ourselves nobles on Earth, the preferred term is socialite." Pacifica responded, before it struck her that she still identified with the upper crust of the human species, even though her family had been ruined since Weirdmaggedon and she basically lived in a run down tourist trap working as a scientific assistant these days. Before she could ponder this further, Star spoke again.

"Is there any noteworthy difference between the two?"

"Not really, no. Although earth parties like this usually have more drugs going around."

"Gotcha." Star stated a little awkwardly, not sure where to take the conversation from there. Luckily, Pacifica picked up the slack in that department.

"So, Star..." The blond human began. "...I understand you had a book of spells at some point, right?" She regretted the question right after asking it due to Star becoming visibly glum at the mention of the old book, but the princess none the less answered the question and didn't project any hostility towards Pacifica for asking.

"Yeah, I did. But I let it get stolen, and because of it getting stolen it got destroyed." She explained, keeping her answer as concise as possible.

Pacifica winced a little, and after a moment of debate decided to press on in an attempt to cheer Star up. "Okay, sensitive subject, I'm sorry for probing. But, I wanted to let you know, if you're, well, interested... we've got a lot of spells documented back on Earth. I could share them with you, if you feel like you need the boost."

Despite still being visibly glum over the memory her friend had called up, Star still smiled at Pacifica. "Thank you, that's great of you to offer, but it wasn't just spells that were lost. Each chapter of the Royal Book of Spells was carefully inscribed by a past queen of mewni, talking about not just all the magic they did, but their thoughts, their feelings, the history they lived in... it was more than just a spell book, it was "a priceless piece of cultural history and royal legacy," as mom never gets tired of reminding me..." Star snorted, before looking down at her own shoes, disappointed in herself. "And I never appreciated it. And then I got it destroyed."

"That sucks." Pacifica responded, bluntly but in a genuine attempt to comfort Star.

"Thanks." The princess responded, obviously downcast at the statement but still not angry at her friend.

"If it's any consolation, there's a collection of books I value a great deal as well." Pacifica explained, causing Star to perk up and pay closer attention. "It's a collection of Journals, documenting the research the Pines family conducts into the supernatural. I've actually done a bit of writing for Journal #4 at this point, which I guess... makes me... part of the... family." The human girl's voice gradually stuttered and slowed down as the realization hit her, all while Star got an increasingly cheesy grin next to her.

"Ooooh, I guess it does, Pines 3~" Star teased, leaning in close to Pacifica's face, which caused the human to take a large gulp of her drink and look away with a briefly cross expression.

"Anyways, what I was trying to say was that if you ever need help restarting your whole royal spellbook thing, I'm sure I could arrange you access to the Journal collection." Pacifica offered wholeheartedly, before joking that "But only if you promise to cite correctly!"

Star grinned a little at the joke, but it was an otherwise very warm, very appreciative smile. "Pacifica... thank you. That actually does mean a lot to me, that you would help me clean up a mess I made like that. I... I think I'll have to take you up on that offer at some point. Is there anything I can give you guys in return for this?"

Pacifica held up a hand while taking another drink, before saying "Don't worry about it Star, no payment is necessary. Scientific information deserves to be free, it's right to share it." After saying this statement, the human teenager sloshed around what was left of her drink and looking at the small amount of liquid in the bottom. All the while smiling to herself about how natural and how right that statement had been for her when she spoke it.

"Well, then I promise I'll do everything in my power to keep them safe and not lose them when they're in my custody!" Star replied, trying to make a joke about the situation to cheer herself up. However, this time Pacifica became slightly morose at the statement.

"That would be for the best, yes. It'd be a terrible thing for the Journals to be lost, and it's already almost happened twice." She explained, and as a result Star winced sharply.

"Ooooooh, sorry, didn't mean to push a button there." She apologized sincerely.

"I mean, the first time they came back through the pure luck of random magic nonsense, but then Mabel says they should just throw them down a bottomless pit? Let all the effort put into making them, all the good they could do just to waste like that? Thank goodness they shot that idiot down." Pacifica was muttering to herself in a grouchy tone now, but snapped out of it when her eyes shifted sideways and saw Star again. At that point, the human became instantly apologetic. "What am I gripping about though!? You actually lost your important book!"

"Geez, thanks for reminding me. At this rate you're gonna sound just like my mom." Star said in a playfully sarcastic and grumpy tone.

Pacifica let the air hang silent for moment, then snatched Star's drink out of her hand and drank it all in, swished it around her mouth, then swallowed it in one big gulp, symbolically trying to wash sounding like Queen Moon out of her mouth. Despite having her drink stolen for the sake of this short gag, Star still laughed at it. This, in turn, caused Pacifica to giggle a little, enjoying a mutual laugh with her friend even if it wasn't as vigorous as Star's.

Across the ballroom, Queen Moon and King River had just stepped off the floor after enjoying a well practiced but still invigorating dance with each other. It had been a swift step, as after the guided tour of the ball by the Lucitor King and Queen had been interrupted by a servant rushing up and whispering something to the King. A quick dance gave the guests of honor the perfect excuse to briefly retire to a corner with a pair of drinks, where they were unlikely to be interrupted.

"Still though, I am sorry." Pacifica still made sure to apologize. "I was trying to talk to you about one of your problems and then just start muttering about something of mine that isn't even an actual problem, just a scenario where a problem could have happened."

"Ah, it's alright! Don't sweat it!" Star replied encouragingly. "And for what it's worth, you've already made this Ball a lot more tolerable than the majority of these stuffy dances have ever been for me."

With a glint of curiosity in her eyes, Pacifica found herself compelled to ask "And what made the, presumably few, balls that were just as if not more tolerable than this one? I've never been to a ball in a different dimension before this, so I'm sure all of those parties were bereft of my stunning charisma and engaging conversational skills." injecting a bit of fake, playful ego into the end of her statement.

"Oh, nothing the hosts had planned, that's for sure." Star replied mischievously, leaning in to talk with Pacifica. "It's always the accidents that make for the most exciting events. Let me tell you about the time my attempt to arrive at an event on the back of a pure white warnicorn went off the rail due to a harmless piece of chewing gum I'd brought with me to stave off some boredom..."

Moon pantomimed laughing at something River had said so as to bring one of her rings close to her mouth, seeming to laugh into the back of her hand from a distance, but in reality she was speaking into the transmitter device hidden into the jewelry. "Pines 2, this is, ugh, Meghan. Napoleon and Lilith have left the dance floor. Possibly investigating your 'minor altercation.' Over." Her earpiece remained silent, causing the monarch to scowl slightly.

"Are you sure we should be doing this dear?" River asked, a tone of genuine uncertainty to his voice. "The Lucitors are some of our strongest allies, and now we're, well, spying on them, all on the word of a monster and this... Pines Family, who I know you have doubts about." With a stronger tone, he added "Of course, I'll follow whatever you think is best dear, but... your choice here has surprised me."

Moon had discreetly been releasing a noise baffling spell from her palm to thwart anyone trying to listen in, and when her husband finished voicing his concerns she responded with an understanding and somewhat worried tone. "I absolutely understand your concern, and to be honest with you I haven't doubted a decision of mine as much as this one for some time." As she continued to speak, the look of concern on her face got more prominent. "And yet... something is going on here. Something HAS been going on for far too long. Toffee knew how to destroy the wand, River! He knew how it could be destroyed, and how to place himself inside it! How could he have known that? How is that even possible?"

With a troubled brow of his own, River responded by saying "Yes, those are... troublesome questions, and outside the Kingdom of Mewni and the Magical High Commission itself, no one possess more magic inside our political sphere than the Lucitors. But why would they be helping Toffee with something so... cataclysmic? Do they truly possess that kind of knowledge in the first place?"

"King Dave is a Mewman himself River." Queen Moon reminded her husband while rubbing her chin. "One whose origin we've never quite managed to pin down with any certainty. He simply... appeared on the political stage one day, comforting the lone survivor of the Lucitor dynasty with an unconditional, passionate romance. It'd be blazingly suspicious if the idea of a lone Mewman exterminating an entire demonic lineage wasn't utterly far fetched. There is much about him we don't know."

"But what would they have stood to gain should Toffee have won?" River asked worriedly, getting less sure of his own skepticism. "After all, the Lucitors aren't monsters and Dave himself is a Mewman!"

"A new market, perhaps. One more favorable to their interests." Queen Moon mused. "Perhaps they had some miracle super weapon they planned to offer to us when we were on the verge of being wiped out, in exchange for a radical change of political dynamics. Or maybe a new monster empire would be better customers for an arms industry."

"All that is assuming the monster was telling the truth." River noted warily.

Moon looked distant for a moment, but eventually stated "I found his story very convincing."

* * *

_Two Days Ago_

Queen Moon leaned back into her chair, letting out a long and weary sigh at the assembled sight in front of her. _"Star just seems to be making a habit of dragging complete strangers into my office as of late."_

In front of the Queen of Mewni, her daughter and heir was standing in front of a complicated crowd of characters, whose outrageous nature even the tradition bucking and sometimes clueless princess seemed to be partially aware of, as her eyes cast back and forth over the group with a nervous smile on her face.

"So, Star..." Moon asked dryly, bringing her head back up to address her private audience. "What is it you need to talk about today?"

To Star's right, Dipper Pines was struggling with the large cork board he'd managed to fit into the room, upon which were numerous pictures and paper scraps pinned to the surface and connected to each other via a dizzying rainbow of colored string. The string connections got thick enough in places to obscure the meaning of the display (_"If there even is one"_) but as far as Moon could discern it proposed the existence of a grand and centuries old conspiracy involving the recently deceased Glossaryck, the Magical High Commission, the Corn Shuckers Guild, Bill Cipher, Queen Moon's own venerated ancestors, Boy Bard Bands, St. Olga's Reform School, and aglets.

To Dipper's side, Pacifica Northwest had hauled in a cart full of books from the royal library, all of them brimming with sticky notes the girl had placed during her investigatory reading of them: Red was for factual inconsistencies, green marked vague and legendaric writing in place of historical accuracy, blue was for uncited claims and yellow was for spelling errors. Each book was crammed with a wide collection of all four colors. Next to her, Stanford Pines was trying to assemble a projector.

To Star's left though, was the most surprising guest of all: Buff Frog, standing before the Queen of Mewni, tall and without fear, a baby carriage besides him as his little ones stretched their still new legs by hopping all about the room. One splashed itself over Queen Moon's desk before hoping along again, at which point the older woman leaned forward with a withering expression.

"So Star, here are the facts as I understand them." Queen Moon began to speak rhetorically in a tone that was both sarcastic and annoyed, but mostly disappointed. "Upon my recommendation, you did, in fact, visit the Kingdom's Monster Expert, but rather than learning anything from her, you proceeded to lose her out in the wilderness. Then you decided the best way to remedy this situation would be to appoint a monster, who does not meet the qualifications of the post, to a position which you as princess do not actually have any sort of legal authority to make appointments to. A new appointment whose first act as Monster Expert is to level accusations against a generations old ally of the Kingdom of Mewni, which is a matter completely unrelated to his sphere, even if his appointment was legitimate." Leaning back in her chair for a moment with a stressed expression, the queen concluded her statement with a simple question. "Does that about sum things up?"

"Well... yes?" Star replied with uncertainty. "Look, I know this all _seems _like a mess at first glance, but when we all sat down and talked about it, we figured out something was going on here!" She tried to explain, before shifting her gaze sideways and loudly whispering "Dipper, work your magic!"

The boy from Earth was, unfortunately, struggling with his poster at the moment and lamenting the fact he didn't have a tripod to mount it on. "Uh... just a sec Star..." Before he could compose a response though, Buff Frog stepped forward, resolve in every step, and began to speak.

"Moon Butterfly, I come before you today hoping you will hear my words, and listen. I speak to you here not as monster to mewman, or proletariat to bourgeoisie, but as parent to parent." At this, Queen Moon straightened up a little and regarded Buff Frog with curiosity. Though her connection to the monster hadn't lasted long, she'd gotten enough sense of him to know he wouldn't pledge by his status as a parent lightly. "And I speak as parent who wishes to leave a time of peace to the children. Just as I know you would not want Star to inherit a world of conflict." With a slight hint of anger to his voice, he added "I have no more love for the likes of Toffee, and Ludo. They would burn down all of monster kind to ensure Butterflies are trapped in the fire."

"But there is more to this game than Toffee and Butterflies and Ludo." Buff Frog explained while beginning to step towards the Queen's desk. She had briefly turned to look at her daughter with a softer expression as the monster explained himself, then turned a careful glare back to him. "I could speak of the weapon merchants, the traders and bargainers that regularly came from the Underworld, in numbers greater than what you know. I conducted hundreds of meetings with them as right hand of Ludo. However, think this will be better example."

Without any flourish, Buff Frog produced his most valuable material possession from his pocket and placed it on Queen Moon's table.

"Dimensional scissors!" She gasped in surprise, before turning narrow eyes against the monster in front of her. "Where did you get these!?"

"Same place as weapons and vending machine. From Lucitors." Buff Frog explained simply. "Was good deal, two for one even. It was these scissors, and the pair Ludo possessed, which let him attack your daughter, Queen Moon. It was these scissors that let _Toffee _attack your daughter."

The monarch seemed to be struck silent for a moment. She still had doubts as to the origin on the object in front of her and the other mentioned pair, but mention of her ancient enemy and the terrifying realization of how easily he could have attacked her daughter at any time gave Moon pause. It was a pause her visitors took advantage of, as Dipper was the next one to speak up.

"Star told us about how Hekapoo wards all her scissors in order to detect if they're being misused. Thing is though, her wards aren't very good." He explained boldly while stepping up to the Queen's desk. He lifted the scissors up by the handle with one of his hands while the other began to point out various small details. "It's a basic rune programming system sketched into the steel of the blades themselves, small enough to not normally be seen unless you're really looking. They draw the energy they need to operate through the microscopic, nanoseconds until collapse portals the scissors open up just when they're being handled, the ones on the end record each portal opening that reaches a predefined size, and when too many happen within a set time period, this rune here sends a message off to Hekapoo." Dipper explained. Moon was squinting at the scissor blades as he talked and could faintly see what he was talking about.

"Pretty common amateur mistake from someone who isn't used to having to think about security due to being individually powerful." Dipper spoke up, actually causing Moon to blink a few times at what he was implying. "See, the way it's set up here is that this rune is deactivated most of the time, and comes to life when a message needs to go out. If she were clever, Hekapoo would set it so that this thing is always on, always transmitting to a second rune system that will alert her if it stops receiving the signal. From there, set the wards on the tips to turn off the signal rune for a second then turn it back on when an overuse is detected." Gesturing for Moon to look closely again, Dipper tapped the signal rune. "This rune has been permanently broken. It will never turn on and signal Hekapoo again due to the damage it has taken. The end result is an untraceable pair of dimensional scissors."

At this point, Moon had taken the scissors out of Dipper's hands with one of her own, and was using her other gloved hand to compare her own pair of scissors to the one owned by the monster. "Of course, it's not an easy task, damaging such a powerful magic item forged by the flames of an expert, and Hekapoo is still an expert, even if she's a bit lacking in her knowledge of programming security." Dipper explained, not even phased by the object being taken from him and pacing back and forth in front of Moon's desk. "It couldn't have been easy to accomplish something like that of course, you'd need something powerful to scuff such a high quality example of runesmithing, not to mention magical. Something like, say, the sort of fires that are used to weld together magical weapons, or alchemical acid potent enough to shape and dissolve souls."

By now, Moon had compared Buff Frog's pair of scissors to her own, and the human seemed to be telling the truth: The specific rune he'd pointed out was noticeably scuffed in comparison to the matching one on her pair of scissors. She set both tools down on her desk and seemed to withdraw for a moment, not really looking at anything in particular as she tried to sort out all the information she'd just been given. The crowd assembled in front of her all looked nervous as they waited for the queen to reach a conclusion, though Ford did offer his apprentice a look of pride.

"Your majesty..." Pacifica spoke up carefully, stepping forward with a book in hand. "...There's more to it. This is a tome about diplomatic conduct between the various kingdoms of your realm." she explained, while setting the book in front of Queen Moon and flipping to a specific page. "In here, a section that explains which stereotypes about kingdoms are acceptable to joke about under what circumstances, it mentions one about the Lucitors, and it says under 'origins' they have a history of accidentally dropping their magic scissors into lava and then needing to awkwardly ask Hekapoo for new ones. Described as 'acceptable for light teasing between nobles of equal posting.' Is that true?"

"Of course!" Moon said abruptly, finally hitting on a question she could answer. "Why, King Dave joked about his family history of butter fingers just recently, when I asked to move the upcoming Ball to his palace. He commented offhandedly that he was the first King of the Underworld the scissors were actually properly sized for." Then, Moon went quiet again as her expression shifted at a rapid pace as she thought long and hard about all the information she'd been given, expression getting more and more perturbed the longer she contemplated everything. It lasted long enough that a nervous Star took a few steps towards her mother's desk, softly asking "Mom? Are you alright?"

That brought Moon back to focus. "Never better Star." she said through gritted teeth, before fixing her gaze on Buff Frog. "You mentioned having conducted hundreds of meetings with Lucitor representatives, correct?" The Queen asked, and before the monster could answer, she followed up with. "Tell me about them. All of them."

* * *

Away from the dance floor, in a private bathroom that was outright hidden from the guests to the Silver Bell Ball, Prince Tom splashed his own face with water and stared at himself in the mirror, trying to psyche himself up after his encounter with Princess Pony Head.

"Come on Thomas, get your head in the game!" He spoke to his own reflection. "Your spies have told you Marco is out of the picture, and you didn't even have to go through with the whole torture thing to make it happen! This is the perfect opportunity to slide right back in and sweep Starship off her feet, show her what she really needs!" Blinking at himself a few times, he added "She's emotionally devastated by loss! Dad always told you that's the best place to pick people up from!"

"Umm, Master Tom...?" A timid voice came from the entrance to the room, the speaker a small demonic servant of some variety.

"WHAT!?" Tom exploded abruptly, inwardly mortified at the idea of someone having caught him struggling with something as simple as this and burning that mortification into raw anger.

The other demon shrank in place, cowering at the steadily rising fire surrounding the prince. The natives of the Underworld had a natural resistance to fire, but in the case of Tom that just meant being burned to death by his anger would be a longer and more painful of a process for a fellow demon then most other forms of death. Mustering all his will to survive, the servant stuttered "T...There has been an, an incident in your father's study! I was told you would want to investigate personally, s...sir!"

Tom's anger only mounted in response. "And why, in the name of the Great Asmodeus, would you not bring this information TO MY FATHER INSTEAD!?"

"His Majesty and the Queen are preoccupied Master Tom, a disturbance in the city!" The domestic servant rushed to explain as the prince stomped towards him. "A...and the one who requested you be told this, we have been told to follow all his instructions!"

Instantly, the fires went out as Tom's burning anger was replaced with a look of annoyance. "Ah, you must mean that one." He muttered nastily. Looking back at the servant, he dismissively ordered him to depart, an order the demon obeyed with record speed. Grimacing to himself and looking in the mirror one more time, Tom snarled "What has that yellow jester decided to annoy me with tonight I wonder?"

After leaving the bathroom, Tom flagged down a passing guard. "Soldier, go to my quarters and retrieve a locked box from the third right drawer of my dresser. Bring it to my father's office." With the command given, the two parted, Prince Tom walking in silence until he reached the sight of the disturbance. When he finally arrived, all three eyes blinked in confusion.

"Why is there a Mewman boy collapsed across the floor of my father's study?" Tom asked. Whatever he'd been expecting for a disturbance, it really wasn't this.

One of the guards minding the scene held up an empty wine glass. He, and the other soldiers minding the office, bore much more formal looking armor, patterned with the royal red of the Lucitor family and bearing ceremonial silver pauldrons across the shoulders. "As far as we can guess my prince, this glass of wine got spilled at some point, he slipped on it, and knocked himself out cold." Then, with sudden awareness, he pointed to a spot on the floor. "Mind the wet patch mi'lord, it's right over there."

Tom let out a weary sigh. "Ugh, probably some drunk who wandered off from the party. Alright, flip him over and get him out of here." He commanded, but as soon as the first part of his command was completed, the prince's whole body stiffened with angry surprise and he gestured for the guards to stop. "That's Star's bodyguard." He said, at a loss for meaning. "What is he doing all the way back here!?"

"That, uh, would explain some of the things we found on him m'lord." One guard spoke up, gesturing to a small number of knick-knacks on King Dave's work desk. "Only a cursory search so far, but he does seems fairly well equipped for..."

"Throw him in the acid bath."

Tom had spoken the command with cold anger in his voice. In truth, he'd stopped listening to the guard as soon as he'd pointed to the collection of equipment and cast his third eye over it, only for the eye to catch at the sight and return to stare at the gear, joined by the other two in the process. Then, all three of them had shrank with rage as gears began to turn in Tom's head again.

Among the small collection of saboteur's tools and a collapsible crossbow, something stood out to Tom. The device itself was a magic detector assembled out of ordinary household objects, a handheld vacuum cleaner with integrated magic detecting circuitry, while a light-bulb and car speedometer attached to the outer casing provided readings to anyone using it. The speedometer component was what stood out to Tom, he recognized it from the earth vehicles he had encountered during a visit to that dimension.

His eyes widened as things came together in the prince's head. _"That thing is made out of objects from the Earth dimension." _He thought to himself, casting his eyes on the boy sprawled over the floor, who visibly at least seemed to be a similar age to Tom. _"He's not a Mewman at all, is he!? What's he doing here? This... Earth Boy."_

At that last thought, Tom gave his order with a shudder of anger, then stormed out of the room. The assembled guards scrambled to attention, working together to haul the captured intruder off the floor and carry him to the most dreaded chamber in the castle, but their prince wasn't evaluating their performance. Instead, he was striding with confidence towards the servant from earlier, who had acquired the box and arrived at the office, just as instructed.

Taking the container without a word, Tom delicately extracted the glass bottle that was inside it, three eyes regarding the bubbling, corrosive looking red liquid inside with an expression of confidence and delight. In the background, his guards shuffled away with their prisoner, but Tom was smiling and ignoring them. _"She'll be mine now." _He thought as satisfaction rippled down his spine before stepping off towards the dance floor. Everyone was in such a shuffle in fact, that they completely missed it when a spindly figure emerged from a filing cabinet in King Dave's office, then stepped into the corridor, looking quite pleased with itself.

"Alright, run along then Horns, Pine Tree!" Bill whispered to himself, his host's only remaining eye bouncing back and forth in its socket so he could watch Tom depart and Dipper be carried away by guards. "No matter if you escape or not, I'm still ahead of the game! Although, is that a nosey mouse I spy?"

Everyone completely missed Bill emerging from his hiding place in the king's office, everyone except for the unfortunate servant, that is. Tom had stormed off without giving him any further instructions, causing him to simply stand around stunned and unsure where he needed to be at the moment, which was unfortunately enough to seal his fate. The castle courtier tried to take a few steps back and whimpered to himself as Bill strode towards him confidently, a hazy figure of gold slowly materializing around his stolen devil body.

"You however, I'm gonna do this to for fun!"

* * *

_Two Months Ago_

"...And a twenty pound bushel of freshly harvested sanicle herb. I trust everything is to your... satisfaction?"

Tom Lucitor was standing in a circular chamber deep in the Underworld Palace, one of the many ritual room employed by the royal family. The room bore all the common marks of a demonic ritual, blood drenching every surface, animals nailed to the walls and such and a cracked brass bell hanging from the ceiling, but the center floor of the room was unusually lacking in sharply curved pentagrams painted in the ash of the innocent. Instead, pink and yellow childrens' chalk had been used to draw a complicated diagram where pink hearts emerged from an interlocking of yellow gender symbols in the vague aesthetic of a bramble. And instead of a great demon or elder being at the heart of the ritual, Tom had apparently summoned a shlubby middle aged man with a mullet and fake looking wings on his back.

"Yep, it all looks pretty good dude." The Summons replied in a laid back voice, taking a sniff of the green herb and sighing with contentment. He placed the plant matter back with the other offerings (a set of tacky gold necklaces, two cartons of the finest quality eggs from the Lucitor family's private collection of geese, an extremely toxic sample of Woolandian mistletoe, several boxes of top shelf alcohol, and a magical belt and crown that bore the same enchantment) and turned back to Tom. "Well, as promised, here it is! A little something to spice up your relationship!"

As the being spoke he slowly lifted up a clear colored beaker of fluid from his rope belt, where several more bottles with various colors of fluid sat precariously attached. Tom eyed the bottle enviously with all three pupils, eager to hold it in his hands. "However!" The spirit of attraction spoke suddenly while raising up a finger, causing Tom to almost flinch from the delay. "Be careful with this, and try to make use of it as quickly as possible!"

"Why, is there a shelf life to this stuff?" Tom asked, suddenly troubled and curious.

"No shelf life man, but this stuff is potent, and can be dangerous in the wrong hands. Believe me, I've seen lesser potions than this cause a lot of trouble." The summoned man explained, causing Tom to visibly relax and even grin a little. "I mean, don't rush your lovely new wife into anything or anything, but the longer you leave this laying around, the bigger the chance you have of misplacing it. And absolutely don't go priming it until you're sure it's go time, otherwise someone else could end up physically obsessed with you."

"Right, of course." Tom remarked, nodding a little. Then, he frowned. "Now, when you say prime it..." The prince asked a little nervously. "...Does that really mean what the book said it means?"

"You better believe it man! Gotta get YOUR essence in there after all!" The summoned creature replied, grinning like a frat boy that had pulled a prank on the demon prince instead of a cosmic being. "By the way dude, a word of advice: Don't miss. If you do, it's gonna be a lot harder on her to actually drink this thing, and moving it into another bottle will probably spill some, and then all the concentration ratios are off."

"Noted." Tom said with a minor gravel of disgust to his voice, but was all and all still visibly pleased with the deal he had conducted. Adopting a more formal stance, he looked straight on at his private little conjuring and thanked him. "I'm sure this is going to be a great help to us. We've talked about this at length, and while we both love each other, the whole, you know, arranged marriage thing can sort of cast a damp blanket on the honeymoon bed, if you know what I'm saying?" He spoke smoothly and slickly, every word managing to sound like the casual truth. "I apologize that the new Mrs. Lucitor couldn't be here as well, I know she'd want to thank you in person."

"Hey man, surprise tax protest blockades sound like a real hassle! Besides, there's no need to thank me, well, outside of these fresh party supplies that is!" The being answered, taking his place at the center of the ritual circle with his tribute and pulling two bottles of liquor out of the top box. "Adding some fire to arranged marriages is a basic level parlor trick for me. I've done it enough times I could do it in my sleep! And sometimes I have!" The ritual abruptly began to reverse, soft pink flames igniting on the edge of the drawing and drawing inwards. "LOVE FOR THE LOVE GOD!"

"Yes." Tom muttered, taking a very appreciate glance down at his latest acquisition, feet splashing through ritually spilled blood as he moved to the exit. "Love for the Love God indeed."

* * *

Back on the dance floor, Star and Pacifica had been doing their best to play the roles of princess and bodyguard, working through the crowd and exchanging the necessary formalities. They had even started to have a degree of fun at the event, laughing at each other's jokes and enjoying the company. The mood abruptly soured however, when they spotted Prince Tom approaching their position, seemingly looking to confront them while their backs were to a refreshment table.

"I don't suppose we can sic Pony Head on him again?" Pacifica asked sideways to the Princess of Mewni. Star, in turn, glanced sideways over her shoulder to observe Flying Princess Pony Head getting cheered on by other young royals as she tilted her head back to drink an entire bowl of fruit punch that was only being held up by her teeth. Looking back to Pacifica, Star simply remarked "Doesn't seem like it."

"Hey Starship." Tom greeted, having finally crossed the distance to the two. "What do you say you and me get our formal dance of the night out of the way? If we wait too long our dads are probably gonna start swinging at each other." He spoke the last sentence like a joke, but there was something of a coldness to Tom's voice, making it a joke that lacked any of the warmth of humor.

"Uh... I think we should wait to do that. You know, make it a sort of grand finale to the evening?" Star replied back uncertainly, while thinking to herself _"Hopefully by then the sort of disaster all my efforts can't go without will have triggered and we'll all be running away from the fires without me having to actually dance with him."_

"Eh, not a bad idea, but I think we should do this... sooner." Tom stated, taking a little step forward towards Star. The princess automatically stepped back in response but bumped against the refreshment table, while Pacifica had begun to glare at the princes with unrestrained disdain. "Is is because you want to look for your bodyguard instead? I noticed the boy in the red suit is missing."

Despite her attempts to control her response, Star felt a bead of sweat form on her head at Tom's statement. "Oh no, I'm not worried. He's around here, uh, somewhere! You know how bodyguards are, fading into the background is a skill after all, not a liability for them!" Star was obviously nervous when she spoke, while Tom kept up a silky smooth, relaxed expression, looking for all the world like he was casually chatting about the weather.

"Well, maybe he's a little less highly recommended than you initially thought." Tom stated, dropping the bomb as casually as possible. "My guards actually stumbled upon him in the back offices. Now, nothing serious is going on, yet, he was probably just sneaking off to do some drinking, but I think it'd be best we get our dance out of the way so you and me and can work out his release. In private." Both blonds were showing signs of nervousness now, and Tom's placid expression took a victorious tone to it, the insinuation in his words clear as day. "I'd hate for our parents to get involved in this, I'm sure your mother wouldn't approve of whatever whacky scheme you came up with here and my dad has quite the temper, you know, and can be sort of paranoid. Had a pizza guy executed last month thinking he was a revolutionary."

Openly nervous now, Star and Pacifica looked right at each other, unsure of what to do, but the princess quickly burst out "Sure, okay then! Let me just... cool down with a drink, to get ready! I'll meet you out on the dance floor!?"

"I await your arrival, Princess Star." Tom responded with a tone of smooth silk, before stepping away from the two. Instantly, Star spun around to the drink she'd poured herself before the demon prince had approached and swallowed it down in one gulp, trying to steady her active nerves. In response, Tom's expression shone with delight despite his best efforts, but fortunately for him, his two targets hadn't noticed his change of expression.

"Pacifica what are we gonna do!?" Star asked with a panicky tone while pouring up another drink to try and calm down. "They've got Dipper!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, freaking out won't get us anywhere." The human girl responded, obviously quite worried herself from her tone of voice, before she activated her communication device, with much less subtlety than it had been used the rest of the evening. "Pines 2, this is Pines 3. Pines 1 has been captured by Trioculus, over." She spoke into the ring on her finger.

On the other side of the line, Stanford could detect the radio crackle to life at the edge of his hearing, but the sound of Pacifica's voice was swiftly drowned out by the police sirens filling the air as he lead the carriages of Underworld Police Department on a looping chase through the city in the surveillance van. "I'll have to pick up later, sorry!" He said to no one in particular, before swerving the wheel hard to try and lose them in the intake system of a magma driven steel mill.

"No response, damn it." Pacifica breathed harshly as she finally gave up trying to reach Ford. "Alright, Dipper's in trouble, we need to do something to get him out of this and put the ditch on Prince Creep over there." She muttered, glancing to the side to see Tom was giving the two a dorky wave from the center of the dance floor. However, Pacifica's eyes widened and her tone got softer (though still filled with concern) when she noticed Star was waving back to him. "Star, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm good." The princess responded, breaking the wave. "I'm thinking... let's play Tom's game, for now. I'll go out, dance with him a little while you look for Dipper, and maybe he'll tell me something useful?" She explained with an increasingly spaced out expression. "That'd hardly be the worst thing in the world, right?" Star's face had gone from spaced out to dreamy admiration by now.

Pacifica, on the other hand, wore an expression of total bafflement, flavored by contempt. "Star, what are you talking about!?" She replied harshly while clasping the Butterfly's shoulder, only to draw back when she felt her fingers sink into the princess' skin, her muscles having relaxed into butter. With a growing look of horror on her face, Pacifica scooped up the cup Star had been drinking from, and whipped out a pair of Groucho Marx glasses, put them on her face, then squeezed the nose to activate the magic detection system built into the lenses. The girl from Earth nearly dropped the cup when a strong magical aura could be seen clinging to the bottom of the container, like leftover liquid. Pacifica quickly removed the device and put both hands on Star's shoulders.

"Star, listen to me." She spoke curtly, as the princess began to get a dopey expression on her face. "I'm not demanding you just get over whatever you're feeling at the moment, but Dipper is in danger! You remember Dipper, right? Your friend! You need to try and focus so we can help him."

Pacifica's words set off a struggle across Star's face, and when the princess looked away from the prince across the room to her friend, she seemed to sober up considerably. "Right, I need to... go somewhere private. I can use my MAGIC to find him!" She detailed, still not all there.

"Yeah, we need to get you somewhere private for a lot of reasons..." Pacifica muttered, angry and frustrated though of course not at Star. _"She's been drugged somehow, or something with magic, and I need to get her out of here..."_

"Hey, don't worry Paz!" Star spoke up, while raising her wand up besides her own increasingly pale and sweaty face, which bore an increasingly loopy expression. "MAAAAAAGIC will get us out of this!"

* * *

Deeper into the castle, a pair of just two guards transported Dipper into one of the kingdom's most feared rooms on a gurney, the wheeled bed proving much more adept at handling the still unconscious human teenager than the six stumbling guards could. Demons, you see, are extremely durable and even mildly regenerative as a species, though not to the extent of Septarians. Combine that with their innate fire immunity, and executing them proves to be something of a challenge. However, the Lucitor establishment had developed a winning formula generations and generations ago.

The room was a simple cube, metal walls in front of a square pool dug into the floor. Most victims where anesthetized and already zipped up in a body bag before the execution was carried out, so security features were minimal. A small table was built onto a wall, in case the person had to be stripped of any protective charms or objects before being tossed in. Along with that, the only other feature of the room was two other gurneys stored in here and some knobs built into the walls, like sink faucets but without a pipe between them, with the actual tubes they opened positioned a distance away to feed the currently empty pool when released.

After wheeling Dipper in and making sure he wasn't waking up, the two guard set to work turning the faucets and then watched the pool fill with the kingdom's finest alchemical acid, the really strong stuff that even the industrial plants didn't utilize for being too dangerous to work with. It was a fairly slow fill, as even with the eye and mouth protection both guards had donned before entering, no one wanted droplets of the stuff splashing all over the place. Besides, it wasn't like their prisoner was going anywhere.

_"Dipper...Dipper!"_

A familiar voice at the edge of reality, obscured by the thick ooze that seemed to coat every pore of... what, exactly? Dipper Pines realized there was nothing at all stopping him as he returned to reality, returning to a swimming head as his consciousness chased the familiar tone whispering to him. Who was it that whispering in his ear, with that pleasant, familiar voice?"

"Star?" He croaked out, with a hoarse whisper. As much as his throat hurt to talk, the pain saved him, as Dipper didn't yet remember he needed to stay quiet and a healthy voice would have been heard by the absent minded guards watching the pool fill and trying not think about what they were about to do. It didn't even occur to Dipper that it was weird for Star to be floating in front of his face, talking to him.

On the other side of her latest use of the All-Seeing Eye spell, Star grimaced at the sight of Dipper but nearly fell off her own feet as a wave of disgust hit her. "Dipper, look, stay quiet!" She told him in a harsh whisper, as the boy got sharper and sharper by the second. "Tom's goons have dragged you off, you need to get out of there!"

"Star, what...?" He breathed out, but quickly sobered up after taking a look down his body and seeing the two minions with their backs turned to him. He whipped his head back to Star, planning on saying something, but couldn't help but wince. "Star, you look terrible!" He spat out bluntly.

He wasn't wrong though, as Star had gotten steadily paler, sweatier and even jittery the longer she stood cramped in the public bathroom stall she'd cast the All-Seeing Eye spell in. The princess could feel a haze building up behind her eyes, clouding her thoughts and numbing her nerves, but as long as she stayed focused on Dipper through the magical viewer, she could beat it back with her concern for her friend. "Don't worry... about me. I can handle this, but you need to get out of here! Tom is trying to blackmail me with your safety, you need to bail!"

That was the final push needed for Dipper to clear the fog from his eyes and burn off the weight placed over his mind, mental cement shoes drying to drag his brain to the deep sleep. _"No one uses me against my friends." _He thought to himself, feeling determination flow over his body, and he looked right back at Star and whispered "Okay, I'll get out of here and make my way back to you, and we can..."

"NO!" Star whispered harshly. "You need to escape with Ford, go to Plan B! Don't... don't worry..." she said, struggling through a dizzy spot that did nothing to discourage Dipper's worries. Star then collapsed for a moment, catching herself on the rim of the toilet with her arms. Dipper tensed up in shock at the sight, but soon enough, Star lifted her face back to the All-Seeing Eye, a confident grin on her even as she was completely pale, flustered, and sweating profusely. "I've got my parents AND Pacifica to help bail me out of this, while you're all on your own! Focusing on saving yourself, I can handle a demon!"

Dipper looked at her with concern for a moment, but ultimately his internal struggle came down on Star's side after little thought. "Alright then. I've got confidence in you two! See you all back at Butterfly Castle!"

With all the necessary information conveyed, Star ended the All-Seeing Eye, removing Dipper from her sight and the drain from her wand. Instantly, the haze in her mind surged forward without a mental focus to drive it back. In a daze, Star responded to the spell disappearing by muttering "It's a date, Tom." With all her strength, the princess lifted herself from the toilet rim and turned around to leave the stall, only to run face first into the still locked door in front of her. Despite this being absurdly minor compared to some scrapes the rebel princess had taken in her life, her weakened state made it so this bowled her over. "Auuuggghhh, Tom, help me!" She cried out from bathroom floor, voice a delirious warble as a small trail of blood began to trickle from her nose.

Groaning and struggling to her knees on sedate, sensitive muscles, Star tried to regain her senses. Everything felt so strong now, the mild chill of the tile below feeling like she'd dunked her leg in an ice chest and the small trickle of blood on her nose feeling like a gushing laceration. The mild lemon scent applied to give the bathroom a pleasing odor felt like a burning chemical weapon invading her blood free nostril. "Carry me away Tom!" Star gushed, swooning around the seat of the toilet like it was the balcony of an imposing castle she was imprisoned in, just waiting for a noble knight to come rescue her! It was all Star wanted at the moment, and the part of her brain screaming this was all wrong was slowly getting caked over by the magical haze.

It was still there though, enough to give Star a moment of doubt as she looked at her sickly reflection in the bowl of water in front of her. "What's happening to me!?" She cried in desperation, even as her lips began to tingle and feel swollen, aching out for the soothing kiss of a demon.

At that exact same moment, Dipper found himself also looking into a body of liquid, with a displeased look on his face, though the Pines Twin wore a more resigned grimace of disgust.

It had begun simply enough. As soon as Star's face blinked out of existence, Dipper sprung to action, mind already racing to plan his escape. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite as returned to reality as he had initially thought, as in that short moment, the human had forgotten about the two guards he had been trying to keep from noticing him by whispering during his talk with Star.

Any lingering fogginess was dispelled for good though as the two guards sprung to attention in response to someone coming to life behind them, Dipper's dress shoes clattering against the polished metal floor. Both spun around as fast as possible, embarrassed and angry at that the fact that their casual chit-chat while waiting for the acid bath to fill had so thoroughly distracted them.

Unfortunately, this proved to be a second mistake. The further back-most guard accidentally slapped his partner across the face with the ornamental pauldron of his armor due to the size difference between the two as both swung around. This small displacement, combined with how surprised both guards were and the precarious placement they both were in, was enough to make the unfortunate guard loose their footing and tumble into the acid bath, which by now was close enough to filled to fully submerge a humanoid.

The guard began screaming as soon as he hit the acid, flesh peeling back faster than it could regrow, and the sustained howl of agony sent adrenaline shots through both other people in the room, and was eventually silenced when the corrosive fluid got into the fallen guard's throat, reducing his insides to bloody paste.

The still standing guard lunged at Dipper, screaming a battle cry of fear and anger. The human thought quickly however, and swiftly grabbed the gurney he'd been laying on a moment ago and slid it between him in the guard, causing his charge to end when his waist hit the gurney and he double over it. Undeterred, the demon soldier attempted to wrest the person mover out of the way, and after a short contest of strength with the human teenager, flung it to the side to clatter against a metal wall. Looking truly furious, the demon soldier drew a sword as Dipper took a cautious step back.

However, before the standing guard could charge away from the edge of the bath, the fallen one made a desperate, and ultimately unfortunate attempt to survive. He had managed to briefly rise above the surface of the acid mixture, completely silent due to his lungs corroding away almost entirely. As small patches of skin tried to regrow themselves while the acid was eating away at exposed muscles and even seeping down to bone at this point, the demonic flame inside gave this guard one more attempt at life. He cast a shriveled hand out of the acid bath, trying to pull himself out by the edge.

Unfortunately, all the demon's eyes had been melted to cataracted piles of goop, slowly seeping out of the eye sockets and stuck around the still relatively solid lenses. As a result, his reach for safety was a blind one, and instead of the edge of the acid bath, his melting fingers grabbed onto the leg of his partner, who recoiled in fear and practically jumped out of his skin at the sensation.

Too many nerves melted away to tell the difference, the soldier in the bath yanked his gripping arm down, trying to leverage himself against the floor to haul his body out. Instead, his fellow guard came tumbling in on top of him.

Dipper stood and watched the bubbling pool of acid calm to placidity for a few moments, both because he was shocked by how fast that had all happened and because the practical side of his brain wanted to make sure they weren't going to climb out after him. While processing the whole thing, Dipper's face ran the gamut of grimaces from disgusted, regretful, dismissive and eventually troubled. Finally coming to terms with it and certain no one was going to climb out after him, Dipper meticulously returned the gurneys to their original positions and turned off the acid faucets, muttering a quick "Forgive me if I don't join you."

He had briefly patted down his suit's pockets as an afterthought to check what gear he still had, but Dipper stopped in his tracks when he felt something he didn't recognize. Looking confused, the boy reached inside his inner suit pocket to find it was stuffed full of letter envelopes! And not just any letters, sealed letters addressed to the King of the Underworld!

_"I don't remember finding these..." _He thought to himself with a concerned look on his face. _"...In fact, I don't really remember much after that weird shrine. I was moving around the hallways again, and then...?" _Shaking his head, Dipper stuffed the letters back into his suit. "Whatever, I can have Great Uncle Ford check my brain later. For now, I gotta get out of here."

* * *

Tom was getting annoyed by how long it was taking Star to yield to his threat and come dancing. He'd already lost sight of her for a bit when he had to get off to the side so someone else could use the main dance floor, but was relieved when she finally entered his field of vision, walking right towards him. Relieved enough that he completely ignored how stiff and unnaturally neutral her posture and expression was.

"Princess Star..." Tom asked graciously, while extending a hand to her. "...May I have this dance?"

Star didn't answer aloud, instead doing so by extending her arm and taking the prince's hand. The whole Ball went silent as the dance floor cleared out. All eyes were on them, and both pairs of parents watched with particularly rapt attention. Tom took the lead in the dance, but instantly, something felt wrong.

The Princess of Mewni was limp and stiff, shuffling with every step as the two began to circle around the floor, trying to build the dance's speed but feeling like he was dragging a weight along him. _"Something's wrong, she should be all over me after the potion I gave her." _Tom thought to himself as the steps continued. Already, murmurs were beginning to move through the crowd. _"If that potion has hurt Star I'll summon that Love God again just so I can skin him alOUCH!"_

As the repetitive, monotonous steps continued, Star had unexpectedly crushed one of Tom's feet during a close section. Temper flared in all three eyes as he involuntarily glared at Star for a moment, and despite how quickly the prince regained control, the crowd had taken notice of both the foot step and the hateful flash of expression it evoked. When his own was back to bearing a controlled expression, Tom examined the face of his dance partner: It was neutral, unnaturally neutral for such an expressive person. Even her cheek marks seemed dull and uncertain, not glowing with life like they usually were.

Tom attempted to dip Star down, but she straight refused to cooperate with that section of dance, forcing him to do all the work to lift her back to a standing position. The two royal families were glaring at each other with increasingly tense expressions now, the two fathers in particular seeming to be one spark away from coming to blows.

_"Okay, something's gone wrong here. Time to bring out the big trebuchets." _Tom thought to himself with an increasingly nervous glance around with his third eye. The assembled royals were already gossiping among themselves, the dance in front of them so stiff and awkward that they couldn't even wait to return to their own castles before indulging in speculation/slander. However, Tom attempted ignore that, briefly turning the dance's awkward nature into an advantage by letting his body go on autopilot while he tried to focus his mental energies into his third eye. _"Now, just a little spot of hypnotism should bring some life to this party."_

Retaking active control of the dance, Tom took an abrupt, sharp step that Star clearly wasn't expecting, as the jolt of surprise she expressed from it was the most emotion she'd registered this whole time. Tom locked eyes with her, his more normal two locking hers down while his third peered straight into her mind, and began to transmit. _"Weird, it's foggy in here. Something, huh, feels wrong about..."_

All Tom's thoughts dissolved into psychic static when Star abruptly rammed her right index finger into his third eye.

"Big mistake! I've blinded bigger, creepier demons in my time than you!" Star yelled at Tom as the two separated, Tom stumbling backwards as he felt his brain go haywire, built up magic fritzing out and causing small fires while Star stepped back with a defensive posture that belayed the put on confidence she had yelled that with. Confused, Tom muttered "Star, what happened to your voice...?" before he was drowned out by his father.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?"

From his place on the sidelines, King Dave had exploded with rage, looking as though the only reason he hadn't vented his wrath upon someone was because he couldn't decide between Moon, River, Star, Tom, Wrathmelior, or the closest servant. However, even his titanic inferno of anger was damped by surprise as the last person anyone in the room expected took to the dance floor.

"OH, YOU WANNA KNOW THE MEANING OF THIS!?"

This time, the speaker was another Star Butterfly, who despite looking much more run down than the one who had danced with Tom, seemed much more recognizable to those that knew her. She had shouted her shout in a dazed, gargling tone of voice, and her long blond hair was wet and clumpy, needing to be pushed out of her eyes several times during her walk across the room. Her heart stamped cheeks were puffed up and huffy, while her dress was ruffled and damp near the neck, and she nearly fell over several times during her exceedingly angry walk across the room.

"Wait, Star, what is...?" Tom began to stutter, face rapidly shifting back and forth between the Star he'd danced with and this new one, and to the prince's misfortune, happened to be looking right at the new Star when she commemorated successfully crossing the floor by spitting the mouthful of water she'd been carrying in her cheeks right into his face. "EEUUEGGHH!"

"There, you can take back whatever you tried to poison me with!" Star screamed accusingly. "I hope the toilet water washed it all out!"

The crowd of royals burst into an uproar at this point, a single step away from exploding into a full on riot as everyone rapidly took a side.

"What does that Butterfly brat think she's doing!?"

"How dare the Lucitors try and poison a royal guest!?"

"This courtship is a scam!"

"Is this how the Butterfly's repay their hosts!?"

"THE AUDACITY!"

"I still don't get why there are two Stars!"

"WOOHOO! CIVIL WAR!"

"HERESY!"

"NO ONES EXPECTS THE MEWMAN INQUISITION!"

"CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN THE TWO STARS!?"

"Yo! King Dave! If you're shopping for new trade partners sometimes soon the Spiderbites are open for business!"

"FRUSTRATION GETTING BIGGER!"

"How long have you guys had toilets!?"

"HOW DARE SHE SPIT AT THE PRINCE'S UNHOLY FACE, UPON UNHOLY GROUND, ON THIS UNHOLY DAY!?"

"Gas the Butterflies, race war now!"

"WE MUST SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION!"

"...fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the queen..."

"It's treason then!"

"SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK!"

"...Did someone spike the punch?"

"PRINCE TOM! PRINCE TOM! I'LL MAKE OUT WITH YOU!"

"THE SHIP WAR STARTS NOOOOOOW!"

"TOFFEE DID NOTHING WRONG!"

"Bloody Mewmans!"

"Hey, don't stop paying attention to me, Princess Pony Head!"

**"ENOUGH!"**

By this point King Dave had exploded into an outright pillar of screaming soul magic in an attempt to control the crowd, a task he was barely succeeding at. The Butterfly parents were trying to work their way through the crowd to get to their daughter, while Wrathmelior was actively on fire at this point, barely restraining herself with the knowledge that acting on her desires would flash incinerate most of the crowd as well as Star.

The Princess of Mewni, for her part, was quick to realize how heated she had made things, as the delirious haze that had blinded her sight seemed to retreat as soon as the water splashed onto Tom's face. Tom, in turn, couldn't even feel angry at this point, as he was still bowled over by the sudden arrival of a second Star, shocked at the fact he'd been spat on, was still loopy from getting his third eye poked mid-magic use, and was steadily growing afraid of the princess in front of him as she looked more and more aware of her surroundings and increasingly angry with him. Essentially, he was too baffled and stunned to be mad right now.

"Star, should we answer at least one of this questions?" The Star who had danced with Tom asked, now speaking in what was clearly the wrong voice. Giving a curt nod of her head, the damp Star gave a brisk wave of her wand, causing the glamours on her doppelganger to fade away in a sparkle of light, revealing Pacifica Northwest underneath the magic. A basic enough charm, aided by the fact the two teenage girls already had a lot of physical similarities. "Is Dipper alright?"

"He's fine." Queen Moon spoke up as her and River burst through the crowd in a rush. "I contacted Stanford while we were moving through the crowd, he's moving to extract Dipper. We need to get out of here before this crowd erupts into violence!" Then, the Queen looked over to her husband. "River?"

"On it." He replied quickly while producing the royal couple's pair of scissors and cutting a way out. "Though I myself would enjoy a spot of crowd violence."

Moon turned to her daughter, then froze for a moment, letting her true concern for the young girl break through. "Star?" She asked gently, stepping closer. "Are you okay?"

The question seemed to strike Star solid, and the weight of the night's events came crashing down on her finally clear head. With an usually quiet, somber response, the princess remarked. "I... think I'm good. I just want to leave now, but... you're sure Dipper is going to be okay, right?"

Moon couldn't help but smile at Star's endless compassion for her allies. "I can tell for a fact Stanford will move soil and sky to get him out of here. We need to do the same." She replies comfortingly, and then, in a moment that surprised the weary queen, Star leaned forward and gave her mom a hug, one that Moon swiftly returned. Soon enough though, the mother ended the hug. "It's time to go Star." She said, as they were the only ones left to take the portal.

"Hey, Starship, wait, I'm sor..." Tom made an effort to address Star before she left, finally out of his daze, but from the moment he started speaking the princess was spinning around while her wand energized with green light, but by the time the instrument was up and aimed, the prince had already been blasted across the room by a blast of energy launched from Queen Moon's still smoking palm, green fire quickly dying out.

"You'll be hearing from us soon enough." Moon pronounces icily to the combined Lucitor family before she and Star shuffled into the portal themselves, which soon sealed itself behind them.

Across the room, at the refreshments table Tom had been blasted into and collapsed under him, the demon prince was swiftly plucked up and put back on his feet by his mother, who had swiftly strode through the much smaller crowd as soon as he'd been hit. "Are you okay Thomas!? Are you bruised anywhere? Don't worry sweetie, your father and I will sort all this out with those nasty Butterflies..."

From a distance, Dave watched his wife attend to his son with a satisfied look. _"Good, a little show of compassion should help keep the crowd sympathetically inclined towards us." _He mused, before turning about to address the other royals. "It is my most sincere regret to announce the remainder of the Silver Bell Ball is cancelled, for reasons I'm sure you all understand. If you would be so kinda as to follow me, we will ensure you are all safely escorted to your transports."

"Thanks mom, but I think I just need some time to be alone. If I might be excused from the Ball?" Tom asked his mother as soon as he was standing steady again, not insincere in his gratitude but with another purpose in mind then what he had said. Queen Wrathmelior was quick to excuse her son, and without any more words, Prince Tom skulked off into the castle depths.

_"That Earth Boy is still around here somewhere."_

True to Tom's guess, Dipper was still making his way through the castle halls, trying to reach the escape position he and Ford had agreed to over the communicators. However, that plan was based on the incomplete maps of the Lucitor castle possessed by the Butterfly Family and only studied by the humans over a few days, meaning Tom was able to catch up with Dipper easily enough.

Watching the human from the shadows, Tom felt the fire building in his arms, aching with anger that was fighting and boiling in an attempt to get out, to explode free and turn his rivals to ash. _"Just a little closer, and I'll burn you to a crisp." _He thought to himself, grinning with anticipation by now. _"It won't be as good as getting to kill Marco would be, but I'll take what stress relief I can get."_

"HEY THERE HORNS!"

Tom nearly jumped out of his skin as he was abruptly made aware someone had followed him from the shadows just as he'd followed Dipper. Surprisingly, the human teenager hadn't heard the loud greeting, but was unwittingly making good use of it by continuing to move forward while Tom came to a stop. Taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully, the prince took a moment to center himself before turning around and addressing his visitor.

"Hey Bill. Can this wait? I was right on the verge of solving a little problem of mine."

"Yep, you had a really good shot at roasting that defenseless teenager! Good show!" Bill complemented gracefully. "But, and I know this is weird coming from someone whose told that guy to make like a Pines Tree and burn to the ground, I gotta stop you here."

Tom was getting upset again, the familiar, infuriating feeling of denial creeping up on him, but was also slightly confused. "Wait, you know this guy?"

"YEP! He foiled a bunch of my plans too!"

"Then why're you interrupting me!?" Tom snarled at the one eyed demon in front of him. "I'm gonna go solve our mutual problem right now!" He announced, but suddenly realized he couldn't move. All three eyes looked downwards when he abruptly realized he was in terrible pain.

"Well because I need him to deliver all the sensitive documents about your father's arms industry that I stuck in his suit after knocking him out to the Queen of Mewni!" Bill explained, saying like it was the most casual thing in the world, and also like he hadn't just conjured Holy Diver and smashed its fist through Tom's stomach.

Garbling from the blood building up in his throat, Tom fell straight to the floor when Bill withdrew the ethereal fist and stared at the double demon in front of him with disbelief. "What... what are you doing!? Why have you done this!?" He demanded.

"Oh, don't be a drama queen Horns. Your dad is gonna be enough of that." Bill replied nonchalantly. "And don't worry about that little flesh wound, you'll heal from it in no time! In fact, since I'm such a good friend, I'll make sure you won't even remember this pain!" By now, Bill was standing over Tom's body and pointing a finger at his face.

"Mind Eraser, Pew Pew!"

By now far ahead of the three demons, Dipper burst through the last set of doors between him and his destination, leaving him on an open air balcony with an admittedly magnificent view of a nearby lava river. Holding his tie to his lips, Dipper stated "I'm at the extraction point."

"Understood Dipper. I'll be with you shortly."

The human teenager was able to hear it before he saw it, a deafening cacophony of wailing sirens and clattering hooves. Over the horizon first came the surveillance van, wheels run so ragged the rubber was peeling off in strips, and second came an enormous number police carriages pulled by skeletal horses, in desperate pursuit of the fugitive who'd been leading them around the city all evening.

However, even the most stalwart and dedicated of the law enforcement officers pulled the reigns on their skeletal steeds as the van showed no signs of slowing down in front of the lava river, and by the time the Earth vehicle plunged into the lake of fire the entire pursuit force, which had built up to enough force to police three counties, had come to a shocked and horrified stop.

Dipper however, looked nonplussed by the turn of events, simply checking his watch until Ford appeared through an interdimensional portal that soon formed next to his apprentice, Buff Frog's pair of scissors in hand. "Are you alright Dipper?" were the first words Ford spoke, all while putting a comforting hand on his great nephew's shoulder.

Smiling gently up at his mentor, Dipper replied "I am. I did learn from the best after all." Then, an idea crossed his mind. "Hold on a second" he remarked, before arming the plastic explosive he'd had on him in the suit's most carefully concealed pocket the whole time and tossing it through Ford's portal, which soon after sealed shut. In the distance, the lava river suddenly erupted for a moment as the bomb went off underneath the molten flow. "You can never dispose of evidence too thoroughly, right?"

With a small chuckle, Ford answered "That sounds like something Stan would say. Not that he'd be wrong of course." while cutting open a fresh portal out for the two of them. Soon enough, both of them were away, leaving behind chaos at Castle Lucitor.

* * *

_Three Hours Later_

"Even though I had my suspicions before hand, I can barely believe it. All these years..."

Queen Moon had uttered those words in despair as the last of the letters Dipper had recovered fell from her hands to her desk, joining the other opened and read correspondences. The Queen's head collapsed towards the desk and needed to be caught by both hands being propped up by her elbows. King River placed a gentle hand on his wife's back, while the rest of the room (everyone involved in the mission plus Buff Frog) looked on in sympathy. "...All these years and the Lucitors have been selling weapons to monsters behind Mewni's back."

Everyone in the room, even those with less than full sympathy for the Kingdom of Mewni, stood quietly, up until Star broke the silence. "Mom..." she asked, voice uncertain. "What's going to happen now?"

After a long moment, Queen Moon simply admitted "I don't know." with a frustrated sigh. "Our alliance with the Underworld goes back generations, but from the look of things they've been violating it from day one! And after that incident on the dance floor I doubt personal negotiation can resolve this..." Instantly, Moon regretted her harsh tone and tried to give her daughter a soothing expression. "Star, I'm sorry. Don't feel like this is your fault. What Tom tried to do to you was monstrous. Are you feeling better?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Star responded. The smile she cracked was obviously nervous, but Moon didn't think she should press the issue at the moment. "I knew I'd get out of that trouble, because I've got my two best friends from Earth watching my back!" Star continued, now moving between Pacifica and Dipper to throw her arms over both their shoulders. Though she was putting on a bright smile on the outside, inside, Star felt chilled to the core. _"Suddenly, I understand why Marco was so against me going to the Blood Moon Ball. I... I really wasn't fair to him about that..."_

Despite still being concerned for her daughter, Moon did find herself smiling warmly as she turned to the two human teenagers. "Yes, I must thank you two with all my heart for what you both did to protect my daughter. I... I must apologize for the suspicion and ill-treatment I have shown you so far. Henceforth, you shall all be welcomed guests of Mewni!"

Dipper just looked a little uncomfortable at this despite smiling a little, and coughed into his fist. "I mean, I didn't do all that much..."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short. Just thinking about keeping you safe helped me fight that crazy brain cloud Tom stuck me with." Star replied, genuinely complementing her friend. Then, she turned to the human girl. "But, Pacifica... I can't thank you enough. You took a massive risk to help me out back there, and I really want you to know how much I appreciate it."

Pacifica in turn smiled warmly back at Star. "I was just trying to do what was right and help my new friend." She replied, looking a little nervous from the attention. "And I know that if our roles were switched back there, you'd do the exact same for me."

"Awww, you guys are the best! Group hug!" Star called out, before pulling the other two teenagers in tight, taking them both by surprise and leaving them briefly out of air. Opening her eyes, the princess looked at her mother and added "And don't worry mom, Doctor Pines tells me everything has come back good!"

"Well, let's not jump to conclusions." Ford spoke up, a little reluctantly. "While I did determine the source of Star's immediate trouble at the Ball, some of the tests need longer to finish, and I must wait for that time to make a definitive statement." He explained before going silent for a moment. Moon looked troubled at this, and reluctantly asked "And what, exactly, did Tom do to my daughter, and are we sure it's gone?" Then, she instantly cast her eyes over to her daughter and hastily added "As long as Star is okay talking about it in front of the group!"

"It's... it's okay mom." Star answered after a quick moment of thought while releasing her two human friends. "Doctor Pines? Go ahead and tell them everything."

"Yes, well, in short, as far as I can determine, Star had been drugged with a love potion." Ford explained bluntly, thought it was obvious he was trying to be delicate. Being direct and clinical simply came naturally to him regarding matters medical and scientific. "As far as I can tell, a very... physical one at that. However, based on my analysis of her cheek swabbing and preliminary blood work, I can safely say it was completely neutralized. The magic of the potion was brewed specifically to, um, boost intimacy between consenting couples. When Star violently rejected the potion by washing her mouth out with toilet water and spitting it back on the person who had... tuned to the serum to themselves, the magic was nullified and the potion rejected." He explained firmly but reassuringly. Then, he quickly added on "At worst, the only lingering effect is that you'll likely need to urinate more frequently for about a week, at most, as your body and natural magic does its best to flush the remaining, but I assure you, powerless, potion out of your system. And that is, of course, presuming nothing else comes up on the tests still in progress."

"That is most reassuring, thank you Doctor Pines." Moon responded. Letting out a sigh, she organized the collection of stolen papers to the side and stated "And... everything I said of your wards earlier is true of you as well, Doctor Pines. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive the harsh suspicion that myself and the Magical High Commission treated you with, and will continue to grant your valuable aid to the Kingdom of Mewni."

"It's no worry Queen Moon. You were simply acting cautiously." Ford replied with a neutral tone, then opted to speak no more. After waiting a bit longer for him to say more than she probably should have, the Queen returned to a formal stance and glanced back down at her paperwork.

"Yes, well, if there's nothing else, I must respectfully ask to be left alone." Queen Moon spoke up, weariness beginning to weigh down her tone. "I have quite a lot of work to do from now on. Star?" She asked, looking straight at her daughter. "From here on out, you have full permission to conduct the pursuit of the criminal Bill Cipher without any oversight from me. While I may need to request assistance from you or your friends in the future, in all matters regarding Bill Cipher you no longer need to ask my permission for anything." With a suddenly more stern look, she added "Use this responsibility wisely Star. I grant it to you largely because I have enough on my plate as it is."

"I will mom, thank you." Star replied, the gravity of the situation weighing down on her. When no one else had anything more to say, the group shuffled out of the room, leaving the Queen and King behind to forge the future.

**_AUTHORS NOTES_**

_So, first of all, right out the gate, apologies to the fans of Tom in the audience, I fully realize I'm doing him dirty here. To explain, I had started formulating the idea for this part of the story during Star Vs. season 3, seeing all the conspiracy stuff emerge and thinking about crossing it over with my existing Gravity Falls story, helped by numerous hints and hypothesis that they're in the same universe. At the time, I sincerely believed from the bottom of my heart, and had believed since season 2, that Tom was faking all his character development, and that the Tomstar revival in Club Snubbed onwards was a massive work by the Lucitor family, and was going to be the actual hidden threat of the season, as Eclipsa seemed more and more innocent the longer we looked at her._

_I was wrong about that. It took me until the season 3 finale, where Tom had an easy opportunity to dispose of Marco and be free of him forever, to realize it, but I acknowledge I am wrong about this, though I will mention my opinion of him, after riding a great deal in light of this revelation, did drop a fair bit after "Curse of the Blood Moon" reveals he full well knew something unnatural was affecting Star and Marco but stayed quiet about it. My depiction of Tom and his family here are based on guesses from earlier in the show that have since been proven wrong. However, I have chosen to still write them this way because I think this is ultimately a more realistic direction than where the show went. The reason it took me so long to come around on my initial guesses is the incredibly strong skeeze factor I had gotten off Tom in his introductory episode, to the point he was actually my favorite villain on the show because I wanted to see him get pummeled so much. Maybe it was me reading too deep into things or maybe the writers went stronger than they had intended, but I was always surprised and impressed by the episode Blood Moon Ball, not for all the shipping stuff, but because of what a crazy unsubtle metaphor for date rape and abusive boyfriends it came across as to me. You know, a sort of "Holy hell, I can't believe they got a character that's so blatantly an attempted rapist on The Disney Channel"__. That's a rough taste to wash out of your mouth. _

_If it's any consolation, I have lightened my depiction of Tom himself here significantly compared to my original outline of this crossover and early drafts of scenes I would write down as they come to me no matter how far away that actual part of the fanfic is. Originally, he was even worse in this section of the story and I've put much more emphasis on him being a political tool of his father. Speaking of which, I must give credit where it is to do blackwolfwrites and their excellent story "The Sign of the Moon," which inspired some of the details of King Dave's portrayal here._

_Again, I apologize to any and all fans of Tom who take issue with this chapter, and hope that you might still be invested enough in the story to continue reading. Either way, I thank you__ for completing this chapter, and I wish you all well._


	8. Strangers and Dangers

"...Okay, next time, we'll try and get her with the ol' rigged 'Do You Like Me?' survey."

"For the last time, we're not doing that. Are there any other deities of love and affection we can try and conjure to get our hands on another love potion? I really feel like we were close with this last one, despite how bad it went."

"Well, there is this literal Goddess of the Blood Moon whose number I have, but she's not taking my calls right now, and after your first stunt I'm certain she's not gonna be taking yours either."

"...That's a real thing?"

"Depending in which reality you're looking at, and from what angle, yes. It's all about whose reading, and whose writing, you see."

"As always Bill, you are a shining, crystal clear geyser of endless knowledge and guidance."

"That sleight of hand trick I taught you worked out pretty well, didn't it?"

"For all the good it ended up doing! What went wrong with the Love God's potion anyways?"

"Damned if I know. We could go ask him, but it doesn't really matter, does it? It's gonna be a lot harder to trick him out of a second one, and it's not like One of Hearts is ever willingly going to drink something while you're in the same building as her ever again."

"If we meet that polyamorous tub of lard again I'm going to be too busy burning him to death to ask him any questions."

"Kid, take it from me: Online dating has made his whole existence an empty torment. Killing him would honestly be doing the guy a favor at this point."

"So what am I supposed to do then? The Silver Bell Ball, our winning move, was a disaster! Dad says wars could potentially break out because of this. Sanctions for certain, at least. We were so close to success, but now things couldn't have gone any worse!"

"Hey, maybe the Underworld needs a good war to shake things up around here, you've been isolationist for too long considering all this evil magic you've got just laying around! Besides, you're looking at it all the wrong ways Horns! A disaster is just an opportunity that most people are too fettered to take advantage of!"

"Even when the disaster befalls me?"

"ESPECIALLY when the disaster befalls you! That means you've got the sympathy vote now!"

"What, from Star? She probably hates me more than ever after the Ball!"

"Oh, calm down Horns. Royal marriages are NEVER about what the couple in question actually feel about each other, it's the peanut gallery that matters. In that regard, you're actually doing better than most."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, absolutely! You've got a real, genuine attraction to One of Hearts, am I right? Most royal suitors aren't even running on that when they go around poisoning and cursing and murdering their way into relationships. It's all driven by boring stuff like reunification campaigns. Or taxes."

"Somehow, I don't really think that's going to help me with this."

"Not in the present, sure, but in the future, your romantic's soul will pay off big time! 4D Chess my friend! Once you've Dyson Sphere'd up the target of your affections, she'll eventually come around and realize what a great guy you are, once the messy stages of the engagement are over and you show her how genuine your feelings are. I mean, she's a princess Horns, what are her options? Her REAL options? A lying, duplicitous scumbag of a prince whose having their strings pulled by their politically influential parents, or you? A lying, duplicitous scumbag of a prince whose having their strings pulled by their politically influential parents who will shower her with genuine love and affection once she's safely in your arms?"

"Gee, thanks, don't flatter me too much old man."

"Do you really think I've still got a chance though? When it comes to actually reaching that point I mean, everything you said about love and the afterwards makes sense. I've still got a rash where Queen Moon blasted me, and if she's not going to grant me her blessing, it seems like it's just not possible."

"Well, I got two bombshells to drop on you in that regard Horns. A: Through the power of The Great Satan, anything is possible, so jot that down. B: In the words of a great matchmaker: If a relationship isn't working, force it!"

"That... that doesn't sound right somehow..."

"That's just Marco and his weak Earthling morality infecting your brain! True morality is relative, and nothing says 'I love you' like going to absolutely any length to make someone yours! Murder, torture, soul magic... the fact that you're willing to undergo those efforts and take those risks in pursuit of someone PROVES you're the better partner! Unless of course, you're scared that some puny Earthling might outdo you if the two of you were to go... sword to sword."

"Ooooooh, did I touch a nerve?"

"...I should have tortured him to death when I had the chance. I took him at his word that he and Star weren't a couple, and figured becoming his friend would get me in good with her."

"But it turns out he lied to you, didn't he Horns!? We all heard the truth on Song Day! Well, life lesson then, playing the nice guy never pays off, and you miss 100% of the people you don't mercilessly torture to death. Hey, that's actually two for one, but no worries. I'll let you keep the extra one, since we're such good friends."

"I hope I'm not interrupting something important, as improbable as that idea may be?"

King Dave had stepped into his son's bedroom, where Prince Tom was having a heart to heart talk with Bill Cipher while the two played a few rounds of_ Inheritance__ Of The __Tomorrow _on Tom's imported from Earth game system. The prince put his controller down in order to stand up slowly and address his father, while Bill abruptly mashed out a combo to crush Tom's now idle character with a bright yellow dump truck and win the match before springing to his feet and saluting the King of Demons.

If Dave was annoyed by this, he was too composed, or simply too used to Bill's antics, to betray it, even as his son looked nervous. "I don't suppose you two have made any progress on providing me with grandchildren?" He asked with a deeply sarcastic tone.

"We're working on it Once and Future Queen, we're working on it! You can't rush genius you know!" Bill answered nonchalantly.

The epitaph of the mind demon did seem to momentarily unnerve King Dave, though it was back under control as quick as a flash. Nevertheless, Tom was able to use the brief distraction to get his words in. "For the moment father, we've decided on a wait and see approach. Wait for the political situation to stabilize and attitudes to solidify before taking action."

King Dave gave a small nod of approval. "Very good. For the time being however, study these." He said, while handing Tom a bundle of papers. "It's the official explanation of what happened at the Silver Bell Ball. Do NOT contradict it." He instructed, and without another word the demon prince stepped away towards a chair he could sit down on and study, leaving Dave and Bill to talk.

"As for you, it's time to escalate our dealings. An invigorated monster threat rallying under the banner of a martyred Toffee should be enough of a fire to keep relations with Mewni from cooling." The King explained. "The shipment is at the usual place, and besides the usual collection of weapons this one has two dissembled trebuchets and six hellfire potions. Make sure they get distributed to the most radical monsters you can find." Then, with a harsh tone, added "And Bill: Indiscretion will not be tolerated."

"Not to worry, I get the feeling those Butterflies have got a lot distracting them at the moment. The stuff will be delivered on the double!" Bill responded with a knowing grin before bending his possessed form into another unnatural looking salute. "You have my promise, the Mewmans will be shocked at how well armed the monsters are!"

* * *

"So, are you ready to, give this a try? If you want to stop, we don't have to do this, I'll understand."

"...Yeah, I think I'm ready to start. We're a couple now. Let's give this couple stuff a try."

Dipper and Pacifica were currently sitting on a bench together in an out of the way section of the royal garden. A degree of neglect had seized this section of the grounds in the aftermath of Toffee's invasion, and the two humans were taking advantage of this fact to try and get to know each other better.

"...Right, okay." Dipper said with a gulp. The only mitigating factor of how nervous and flustered he was feeling was the fact that Pacifica was quite clearly feeling much the same, both of them faintly blushing and having trouble making eye contact with the other. "Dearest Pacifica..." He started, but instantly slapped himself mentally. _"That's going way too hard way too fast, we're not getting married or anything!" _Even more visibly nervous now, he backtrack stuttered to saying "...You uh, want to make out? Just a little?"

Despite how painfully awkward this attempt at flirting was, Pacifica actually had even less contextual knowledge of how normal people expressed casual affection for each other, and as such rolled with it. "Hey there, uh... Dippen-Dots?" Brief panic seized the girl as she wondered _"Oh crap do poor people even still eat those!? Quick, overpower him with blatant physical affection!" _With closed eyes and a lean forward, Pacifica borderline yelled out her next line, needing to get it all out before she lost it. "Yeah, I'd be... down? To make out with you. A lot. P...plant one on me!"

The air was frozen between them for a moment, Pacifica quite clearly being the more flushed and embarrassed of the two now. Dipper, on the other hand, despite feeling guilty about it even before it happened and trying to fight it as much as possible, couldn't help but giggle in response to his girlfriend's own attempt at flirting.

The boy's laughter abruptly died off when the blond girl began shaking him by the top of the vest he was wearing. "DON'T YOU START LAUGHING AT ME PINES!" Pacifica yelled out, clearly more panicked and confused than genuinely angry. "You want a kiss!? You think you deserve it!? I'LL KISS YOU SO HARD THE LIPS OF THE COMMON TRASH WILL FEEL LIKE SANDPAPER!"

"Pacifica! Pacifica! Calm down! Please stop shaking me!" Dipper asked, still smiling a little despite the situation as his girlfriend slowed down. "I'm... I'm really sorry about that Paz, I tried as hard as I could not to laugh, but... I mean. It was pretty funny." Then, after an awkward moment, he added "Plus, uh... Dippen-Dots is something Mabel calls me. So, you know... the mood was kinda dead from the get go."

Now looking mortified, Pacifica turned herself around on the bench the two were sharing so as to not be looking directly at Dipper. Despite a number of thoughts running through her head that summed up her emotions at the moment, the human girl just let out an indistinct groan of frustration and embarrassment that got the general idea across. She did, however, lighten up when a soft hand settled on her shoulder.

"Hey, don't get so upset. I'm not mad at you. This is a learning experience, after all." Dipper said comfortingly. Slowly, Pacifica turned back to him, then abruptly enveloped the boy in a hug, which he quickly returned.

_"I never really thought about how great this feels, but this feels... pretty great." _Dipper mused to himself. _"A lot of hugs are too crushing or awkward, but this feels just right somehow. She just sort of... melts onto me, like a big warm blanket." _On the outside, the boy was smiling contently.

_"I need to have Dipper hug me more often." _Pacifica was thinking to herself in a similar train of thought. _"He's steady to hug without being so strong it feels like you're grabbing a rock. I like how my arms wrap all the way around him and while I still feel stable hugging him, he's soft enough that I can feel all my worries flowing off into him when we touch." _Similar to the boy in her grip, the blond girl had a placid smile on her face.

The two stayed like that for a quiet moment, until Pacifica opted to break the silence. "I'm... I'm sorry for exploding on you back there. That was... the parts of me that I want to be better than, and I can't just scream and shake you whenever I get angry."

"Hey, like I said, no big deal. It was an extreme moment, and I really shouldn't have laughed at you." Dipper replied, suddenly sounding nervous. "It, uh, reminded me of when we first met, sort of."

"Thanks Dipper." The girl answered with a grumpy tone of voice, clearly not seeing that as a compliment. The boy, in turn, realized immediately the impact of what he had said, and let out his next words in a poorly thought out, panicked stutter.

"No, I mean, besides all that, it was sort of hot!"

Both of them fell silent again, both blushing extremely red now, but before either of them could breach the awkward topic of conversation the sound of heavy footfalls pervaded the air. A practical company of Mewman guards were storming through the royal gardens, paying no mind to the blushing teenagers as they moved with steely expressions towards their point of convergence. As a result Dipper and Pacifica looked at each other with fading blushes and puzzled expressions, both inwardly cheering _"Thank goodness, some sort of disaster!" _The two took off towards a different neglected section of garden where the guards were all gathering at. When the two got there, the sight waiting for them took everyone by surprise.

"Star! Are you alright!?" Came the concerned voice of Queen Moon before anyone could say anything else.

"Mom?"

"Star! What's going on!?" Dipper asked, clearly confused.

"Dipper? Pacifica!" Star yelled in response, clearly surprised. "I dunno, I was just talking to this nice lady here and then..." The princess trailed off, before yelling with surprise and anger "OMNITRAXUS! STOP PULVERIZING THE NICE LADY!"

"STAR!" Moon shouted, both concerned and a little frustrated. "That's not a nice lady! That's ECLIPSA!"

"THAT'S Eclipsa!?" Pacifica asked reflexively, eyes widening with surprise. Dipper suddenly looked sideways at her.

"Wait, am I missing something?"

"I did some reading Dipper, I'll explain later."

"Good afternoon. Queen Moon, Hekapoo, Omnitraxus, Rhombulus, Star, Dipper, Pacifica, assorted guards." Stanford greeted casually while entering the scene, wearing his turtleneck sweater and using his hands to disassemble a crossbow without looking at it. "I take it that this is our intruder?"

"Sir, SIR! You need to turn around, this is an active crisis zone and we are authorized to..." The hapless guard who had been disarmed of his crossbow for pointing it at Ford had followed the human scientist with a raised, chastising finger but was knocked out on his back when the human scientist tossed the disassembled weapon over his shoulder and into the guard's face.

"Stanford!" Moon shouted, sounding offended.

"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper said with a reassured tone of voice.

"Doctor Pines!" Star yelled in surprise, before suddenly looking apprehensive. With a stiff wave of her hand, she greeted "Hello assorted guards..."

"Alright, all the humans need to clear the scene right now!" Hekapoo demanded.

"Wow, okay. Racist." Dipper snarked in response while not moving at all.

"Hello everyone. Good to see you Moon, you're looking well." Eclipsa said calmly from her place caught in the grip of an interdimensional deity. "How'd the spell work out for you?"

"YOU ARE A WEAVER OF LIES!" Rhombulus screamed out abruptly, clearly having been made upset by the confusing back and forth yelling.

"WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING!?" Star demanded to know, actually pulling her hair while yelling her question.

"BECAUSE ECLIPSA IS EVIL!" Moon yelled back instinctively, only to catch herself and look mildly embarrassed a moment later.

"Actually I have some questions about that. First one, why are all your important historical tomes pop up books?" Pacifica asked from the side.

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT OUR GREAT INTELLECTUAL HERITAGE!?" A random guard yelled out. "MY GRANDFATHER WAS A POP UP BOOK MAKER! BEFORE THE NIGHT RATS TOOK AWAY HIS BEAUTIFUL FINGERS!"

"NOBODY CARES YOU BLOODY PEASANT!" Moon shouted, clearly frustrated and upset at this point.

Right afterwards, a gentle voice rose out of the crowd, whispering "I care..."

"Okay, hang on, time out, I lost track of things. Why are we all after Eclipsa again?" Star asked.

"BECAUSE SHE EATS BABIES!" Rhombulus yelled out, causing Star to gasp and Hekapoo to roll her eyes.

"No, we've been over this Rhom, several times!" The scissor smith spat. "You're thinking of Bobipsa."

"Wait, is that real?" Dipper asked sideways to Pacifica, who simply nodded.

"As stimulating as this grand debate spanning topics both philosophical and historical has been so far, could someone please give me a concise explanation of who Eclipsa is already?" Ford spoke up wearily. "The intense magical surge you all set off interrupted a delicate experiment of mine you know."

"WAIT, ECLIPSA!" Moon gasped, turning her attention back to the queen of darkness, afraid she'd escaped while everyone was bickering.

Such fears were unfounded however, as Eclipsa was right where they'd left her, and was even waving an arm in greeting. "Not to worry my dear Moon, I'm still here. I just didn't want to be rude by interrupting." Eclipsa answered, still caught in Omnitraxus' grip. "Go ahead and sort out whatever problems you all have, I can wait. I really don't mind this, honestly. It reminds me of the time my monster husband would hold me in his big... strong... _meaty _hands..."

Everyone was quiet for a long, uncomfortable moment as Eclipsa grinned at them. Omnitraxus was the first to speak up.

"Can I... can I let go of her now?"

* * *

A short while later, the Magical High Commission had cleared the gardens and shuffled the women of the royal family to a clinical setting to test Star for the possibility of being evil. At this point in their testing, the princess was sitting in a wheelchair while Hekapoo directed a monkey to pick fleas out of her hair.

"Evil fleas!?" Star asked with disbelief.

"Yes, I concur, quite preposterous."

The four standing figures in the room spun around to see that the three humans had made their way into the clinic despite not being invited. "What are YOU three doing here!?" Hekapoo demanded to know.

"Putting an end to this barbaric mockery of the medical process." Ford replied sternly while tossing a glass of water in Hekapoo's face to douse her flame so he could push her aside and shoo away the monkey. He was wearing his longcoat again, and the not doused members of the MHC noticed the other two humans had some extra objects on their persons as well.

"You guys need to invest in better locks." Dipper added, holding up the picked padlock that had offered them little opposition.

"Hello Princess Star, how are you feeling today?" Ford asked the princess with a polite, clinical tone of voice.

"Annoyed, mildly upset, slightly damp, but otherwise good." Star replied, deliberately putting on a pleasant and cooperative attitude to get back at the MHC for the rigor they'd just put her through.

"Well, that's all we can ask for some days. Please don't blink." Ford spoke while shinning a small light around both of Star's eyes. "Please stick out your tongue and let this dissolve." He then asked while removing a bag of sugar cubes from his pocket.

"Aaaahhhhhh." Star's tongue quivered when one of the cubes made contact with it, but she kept to Ford's request until it had dissolved completely. All the while, the older scientist used a stethascope to listen to Star's heart, lungs and wrist. "Oooh, that tasted nice."

"I'm glad to hear. If you were under the influence of a select series of magic compelling agents it would have triggered erratic heart cycling." Ford replied clinically, while removing a digital camera from a different pocket. "Now please, say fuzzy pickles."

"FUZZY PICKLES!" Responded Star enthusiastically, and after a moment of checking the spirit photograph he had just taken, Ford turned to address the assembled MHC.

"Now, in my expert opinion, I can safely say that Star Butterfly, as of this moment, is not hypnotized, possessed, charmed, overshadowed or dementiated." Ford explained to the Commission members in a prickly but professional tone of voice. "If she is evil or not is a matter of philosophy at this point, and not a matter of science. You can stand up now Star."

"No... no she can't! The tests aren't over!" Rhombulus yelled out, standing over a surgical table with an electrode in the mouth of each of his snake arms. "I didn't get to do my yelling test yet!"

"I suspect you've done enough yelling to last several immortal lifetimes." Ford snakes back at the crystal headed crusader. "I'd prescribe you a vow of silence but that'd be a blatant conflict of interests."

Having finally recovered from the shock of someone casually walking up and splashing water on her, Hekapoo finally got right in Stanford's face and began arguing with him. "Who exactly do you think you are human!? This is an affair of the Magical High Commission, and we will not tolerate interference!"

"You shouldn't be asking who I am, rather the more pertinent question is who Star is." Ford spoke up, causing the MHC members to briefly look at each other in confusion. "...A princess?" Asked Rhombulus.

"My patient." Ford replied with determination, positioning himself between the Magical High Commission and the still seated Star. "Queen Moon has entrusted me with her health in the aftermath of a recent, difficult incident, and I will not allow your barbaric practices to endanger her recovery! Your mindless blundering could trigger extremely negative residual effects!"

The room was growing tense now, with Hekapoo, Rhombulus and Omnitraxus Prime standing together and glaring at Ford, Dipper and Pacifica, who had similar expressions aimed back at the magic councilors, while Queen Moon looked more outwardly concerned and had her eyes darting between the two groups. Before the tension could boil over however, Star stood herself up and positioned herself between the two crowds.

"Alright, alright, let's all take a little breather here. In... and out." The princess spoke, attempting to defuse the tension between the two sides. "Ford, I appreciate the help, but I'm sure the Commission are just doing what they think is necessary. Could you guys maybe try explaining yourselves though instead of just giving out orders? All this running around and shouting isn't helping anyone."

"Very well said Star. I agree with you, I think the Commission has perhaps acted... frantically, and we should all calm down." Moon answered in a diplomatic tone, joining her daughter in standing between the two groups. When the queen spoke though, her back was to the Commission and she was directing her speech at the humans and her daughter. "For the benefit of our visitors from Earth, I shall explain a little: Queen Eclipsa is one of Star and I's ancestors, who once ruled Mewni until she was removed from the throne and put in one of Rhombulus' crystals for her crimes. She was an extremely powerful magic user who invented many dark spells, so we must treat the possibility she could have corrupted Star very seriously."

"Well, okay mom, but we only talked for two second, and she was really nice. No big deal." Star responded dismissively.

"It could have been a very big deal young lady." Moon chided in response.

"How? And more importantly, why?" Star asked, clearly getting more frustrated despite her earlier efforts to make peace.

"She betrayed the kingdom Star! She abandoned the people so she could run off with a monster she'd fallen in love with!" Moon explained, sounding scandalized in the process. Behind Star, the three humans were looking increasingly stern and judgmental. When Star spoke next, it felt like she was speaking for all of them. "Yes, yes, I knew all that, right, we've been over this. Kinda selfish, sure, but not a big crime. What happened next? She blew everyone up?"

"No. She was crystallized before she had the chance."

"Wait wait wait wait... That's it? You crystallized her for being in love!?" Star asked, her indignant tone matching the faces of the humans behind her.

"To a _monster _Star." Moon replied, like the problem here was the most obvious thing in the world. When that clearly wasn't enough to persuade her daughter, Moon hastily added. "That's not all though! She didn't respect the natural order!" At this statement, Dipper could be heard to audibly scoff. "She experimented with the dark arts, and created her own chapter of dangerous evil magic!" That one got a scoff out of Ford.

"Did you ever even read that chapter?" Star asked accusingly.

"Of course not." Moon responded, offended at the very idea.

"Well I have." Star answered, drawing a small gasp from Rhombulus as he held his snake arms up to his crystal of a head. "It really wasn't a big deal."

"A regular _The Catcher In The Rye_?" Dipper commented from the side.

Letting out an annoyed groan, Queen Moon turned to the other Commission members for backup. "Chime in any time guys." She said with annoyance. "You knew her too."

Pointing a finger at Dipper, Hekapoo said accusingly, and through narrowed eyes "I can tell you just made some kind of reference _knowing _we wouldn't get it!"

"Hekapoo, focus!" Snapped Queen Moon. "Anyone have anything more incriminating about Eclipsa? Anyone?"

"Well... I heard her call Rhombulus annoying once." Omnitraxus spoke up, drawing withering glares from half the room and disbelief from one person in particular.

"Wait... she said WHAT!?" The crystal paladin screamed in shock. "Can you guys believe that!?"

**"YES!"**

"Huh, for once we all agree on something." Pacifica remarked dryly. "I actually have some questions, pertinent ones even. A few days ago I had a bunch of time on my hands and did a bunch of reading in the royal library."

"You broke into the royal library!?" Moon asked, clearly shocked.

"Oh, she did more than just break into and read inside the royal library!"

Pacifica looked at the floor for a moment with a faint blush while Dipper pulled down the front of his hat. "...Shut up Star." She said, trying to sound angry but unable to muster real hostility for the grinning princess. "ANYWAYS! I read an interesting book about Eclipsa. It was a pop up book for starters, and I was really struck by what garbage it was. Pop up book technology back on Earth is leaps and bounds ahead of Mewni's. Anyways, _Chronicles of Darkness: Mewni's Worst Queen Ever _has some interesting inconsistencies in it, besides having the semantics of a small child. It claims Queen Eclipsa exterminated the Hospice Lodge, an order of fearless warriors devoted to protecting the people of Mewni at the cost of their own lives."

"That she did! I definitely remember her doing that!" Rhombulus yelled out.

"Three other history books mention them perishing in a suicidal last stand, one hundred years after the end of Eclipsa's reign. I suppose you let her out so she could carry out that massacre, then froze her again?" Pacifica replied dryly. "Mention is made of her inventing a spell called Health For One, which crawls into open wounds and rips out the lifeforce of several beings to heal a single one. A despicable, agonizing spell... that is well documented as being used by Queen Eclipsa's mother, Queen Solaria, well before her own birth, to drain the life out of prisoners of war to restore her own wounded. Unless she invented it in the womb? She's charged with the destruction of the city of Smorgasbord, but on the way here I stumbled across a brochure advertising the city of Smorgasbord as a bustling tourist destination." To cap off her explanation, Pacifica held up the brochure in question, the front page of which had the words A LONG HISTORY OF NOT BEING DESTROYED emblazoned on it in giant letters. "If this is the source material you want to build your case against Eclipsa on, your methodology is flawed and your research is contradictory. Even the obvious propaganda is poorly worded and unconvincing! In short... it all doesn't add up."

The room was quiet for a solid moment, and while the blond human had managed to capture the attention of everyone in the room, nobody was looking at her more intensely that Dipper Pines. "That was crazy hot..." he muttered to himself, which was audible to literally everyone in the room due to the room itself being rather small. When he realized he'd said that aloud instead of thinking it, Dipper abruptly clammed up and looked embarrassed while Pacifica's air of serious rebuking became much the same. Luckily, everyone in the room was much more interested in continuing the political argument than making fun of the teenage couple.

"So..." Star spoke up, trying to put that out of her mind as quickly as possible. "...Sounds like you're all full of crap."

"Star, please!" Moon spoke. The Queen was clearly frustrated, but more than that her voice cracked with concern for her daughter. "Do not underestimate Eclipsa! She's... she's very convincing! She will get inside your head and make you do things you don't want to!"

At this point, Star's diplomatic attitude was beginning to crack and flake away, as she responded to her mother's desperate plea with dripping, venomous sarcasm. "Wow mom, you're so right! She must have _made _you go to her for help, and it was all her idea to give you a spell to destroy Toffee with!"

Abruptly, the Queen's eyes narrowed and her expression got very cold. "Star. Not in front of the humans." She demanded in a harsh tone of voice.

"No, I think they have just as much a right to hear this as anyone else!" Star replied, stepping closer to her mother and sounding outright angry at this point. "It was entirely up to you to make a deal with Eclipsa for the means to destroy Toffee: A killer spell for her freedom! And now, hey, Toffee's dead as dirt! It almost sounds like you want to dishonor your deal and stab Eclipsa in the back!"

As the conversation continued, Dipper and Ford both got concerned looks on their faces and shivers down their spines, while Pacifica looked to Dipper with an expression of concern. "She never mentioned anything about a deal..." Dipper breathed with concern. This time, the rest of the room didn't hear him.

Moon was looking back and forth between her own angry daughter and the humans behind her, a tense expression on her face. After taking a gulp and swallowing her pride, she abruptly ripped off her gloves, revealing the blackened purple rot that covered them. "Star, look at what her magic did to me! When I performed that spell, I could feel the darkness! Eclipsa is evil Star, I know it. I know you don't believe that now, but if you wait to find out the truth for yourself, it'll be far too late."

The entire room was quiet for almost a minute, as the shock of the queen's withered limbs seemed to take everyone by surprise. The MHC members watched with guarded impatience, Star was looking her mother's arms up and down over and over again. Further back, Dipper had seemingly retreated into a bad memory while Pacifica touched his shoulder. Ford's expression was the most inscrutable though. He simply stared at the dark rot on Moon's arms without emotion, calculations running behind his eyes.

"You know what..." Star began, speaking carefully after awhile to think about it. "...If you're so convinced Eclipsa is evil, give her a fair trial."

"That's ridiculous, her evil is beyond doubt." Hekapoo chimed in from behind the queen, clearly sounding annoyed by the whole thing.

"Well, if you're so confident, what do you have to lose? If she's SO guilty, surely proving it before a court will be trivial." Star challenged back.

In response, Moon put her gloves back on her hands and put her hands on Star's shoulders, looking her daughter in the eyes with an imploring gaze. "Star, we don't have time for this! Relations with the Lucitors could turn hostile at any moment, we can't afford to split our attention between them and some ridiculous trial for Eclipsa."

"If we don't put Eclipsa on trial, then we might as well just surrender to the Lucitors because we'd clearly be no better than them." Star shot back, meeting her mother's imploring gaze with one of firm resolve. "You'd be just like them: A liar who approached someone under false circumstances, took what you wanted from them to protect your own throne, and treated them like an object that exists solely for your own benefit, who you can throw away when you don't need them anymore." Star's voice was bitter and cutting, and Moon actively recoiled from her own daughter upon hearing it. For once in her life, Moon actually felt small under her daughter's cold gaze as Star held her ground on this issue.

Finally, she let out a sigh. "Very well. We shall have a trial for Eclipsa."

Instantly, Star's cold expression broken into unrivaled joy as whooped out a chant of "DUE PROCESS! DUE PROCESS!"

"But I'm only allowing this because I want there to be no doubt among anyone in Mewni, I'm looking at ALL of you, Star and Earth gang, that Eclipsa is evil and deserves her fate." Moon explained, as she and the Commission began to take their leave. "Now, if you'll excuse us, I have a fresh burden to attend to."

"For what it's worth..." Dipper called out behind them. "...You're going to need more than just race mixing to sell us on that. We come from somewhere a little more civilized."

The door slammed shut without another word from the queen or the Commission.

As soon as they were gone, Star visibly deflated like a weight had come down on her and took a seat in the exact same wheelchair she'd been eager to escape earlier today. "I sure hope I'm making the right choice here..." she asked herself wearily, only to look upwards with a curious glance when she felt a six fingered hand on her shoulder.

"I think you are, Princess Butterfly." Spoke Ford in a warm, proud manner. "That was a very brave thing you did back there. Very brave, and very noble."

"The nerve of those people, acting like they're the ones being threatened even though they hold all the cards..." Pacifica muttered derogatorily, before addressing Star was a warm tone. "You absolutely did the right thing."

"I believe in your decision as well Star." Dipper chipped in, giving her a friendly smile as he spoke. "Truth is the most important thing in the world, it's the base on which everything good is built. Committing to truth instead of just doing what's easy... that's the sign of a great princess."

Star felt overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support she was receiving from her friends, and with wide, watery eyes jumped to her feet while yelling out "GROUP HUG!" and making good on her announcement by managing to wrap the whole group of humans into her grip, despite there being three of them, one of them being a much taller adult. The three were initially surprised by the sudden hug but soon enough all three reciprocated, feeling like Star Butterfly really, really needed this. It was an action the princess greatly appreciated.

* * *

It was later now. Dusk was settling over the land of Mewni and Eclipsa had been relocated to the old Rose Tower, the sight of her house arrest until the trial could be conducted. The disgraced queen had just settled in when she had her first visitor of the evening.

"Ah, Star, good to see you again!" Eclipsa greeted gracefully, taking a casual seat on her dusty new bed, letting the princess choose to sit besides her or take one the room's chairs. "Your mother explained that I have you to thank for this second chance. She was quite worked up about it you know." The deposed queen explained with a giggle. "I can't express how grateful to you I am."

"Alright, listen." Star answered firmly, not taking a seat at all. "Just because I didn't want you to be crystallized doesn't mean I trust you. I just want you to be treated fairly. Whatever that entails."

"That's very wise of you Star, and who knows, perhaps I can't be trusted. This was my old room as a matter of fact, did you know that?" Eclipsa replied, standing back up and nostalgically surveying the place. "So much has changed over the years, but luckily, the important things never do." She remarked, while walking to the window to gaze down at the garden. Star joined her there, giving an appreciative smile for a brief moment, before Eclipsa offhandedly added "Like the magic tunes built into the walls here that are slowly draining your strength into mine."

Star actually jumped back in surprise at this, bringing her wand out and instinctively trying to kick up a variant on the magic cancelling complementary wavelength spell she and Dipper had worked on awhile ago, but was made to pause by a disarming giggle coming from the queen of darkness. "Oh, I'm sorry dearie, I couldn't resist! The look on your face was priceless!"

Star kept her wand raised for a few long seconds after this, but gradually found Eclipsa's laughter good natured and infectious, resulting in her stowing the magic implement and chuckling a little. "Yeah, okay, you got me." Then, with a more serious tone of voice, she asked "Eclipsa, did you really meddle with dark magic?"

Biting her lip and wondering a little before speaking, the former queen answered "Meddle is such a... loaded term. I prefer to think of what I did as experiment." sounding slightly defensive and a little evasive but still understanding of Star's hesitation. "I did invent a number of new spells, and many of them were dangerous yes, and most of them were made to advance my personal interests, but to this day I fail to see the difference between my 'dark' magic and the numerous dangerous spells created by other queens. Have you happened upon an entry in the spellbook called Monster Arm by chance?"

"Ooooh yeah..." Star exhaled, obviously feeling a little down all of a sudden. "I know that one all too well." In response, Eclipsa tensed up a little, clearly apologetic at having touched on a sore subject.

"If you don't want to talk about this, just say so, but if you're okay thinking about it... think back to that. What, in your opinion, is really the difference between the Monster Arm spell and my All-Seeing Eye?" Eclipsa asked gently. "What makes one a completely moral use of magic and the other an unforgivable crime? Did they feel different to you when you cast them?"

Despite the serious philosophical questions being posed to her, which she was taking seriously, Star was briefly stumbled by Eclipsa's implication of her using the Eye. An expression, like that of a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar, bloomed on her face as she hastily denied it. "Wha... what? No no no, I never used the All-Seeing Eye spell!" She said guiltily, due to remembering all the times she'd used to spy on Marco and Jackie.

"Now now Star, I'm not judging you, but here are the facts, as I understand them." Eclipsa responded, sounding very coy now. "You mother let slip during her explanation to me that you'd seen my chapter of the spellbook. And, despite your best efforts, our conversation in the rose garden earlier quite clearly gave away the fact that you were there to watch that... how did Moon pronounce it, hugh-mahn?, couple, that ended up coming running to the disturbance hand in hand, who you are personally familiar with." Then, with a small giggle while she covered her mouth with her palm, Eclipsa stated "I can do the math. A peeper with access to the All-Seeing Eye spell having casted it at least twice is a sure bet in my book."

Blushing brightly and feeling so mortified she had to sit down on a chair, Star held her head in her hands and realized what a wreck she was. _"It's true though. I'd followed Pacifica and Dipper to the garden without them knowing because I wanted to see it first hand... I wanted to try and feel what having a best friend who will hug and kiss you would feel like, even if it was from a distance. And this isn't even the first time I've done this..."_

However, while following the two from a distance, Star had stumbled across Eclipsa, and to not look like a weird creeper engaged the woman in conversation, which proved to be genuinely interesting enough to hold Star's attention until her mom and the Commission had shown up with the guards. _"We talked about... looking at something so beautiful that it hurts because you can't have it for yourself, but you can't look away because you don't want to live your life without it. I mean, she was polite enough to use the metaphor of a beautiful wild flower that you couldn't bring to a garden or reproduce without killing it, but it was really obvious I was talking about a romantic relationship."_ Star realized soberingly that her secret was out._ "Oh corn, how did I not realize now obvious that all sounds!?" _Letting out a moan, she continued to think to herself _"Love is pain. Love is pain and so is life."_

The princess was roused from her descent into despair by a withered but warm hand settling on her shoulder. When Star looked up, Eclipsa was giving her a wide, warm but mildly nervous smile, the look of someone about to explain that they'd done something mildly bad that they didn't actually regret. "Like I said Star, I'm not judging you. I may have used the All-Seeing Eye spell... less than responsibility one or two times. Or a dozen."

Just like that, Star felt her mood and even her body to some degree get lighter. Mortification turned to relief as she felt this state of secrets settle between her and her... friend? _"Do I want to call Eclipsa a friend yet?" _Star thought to herself, before an idle thought crossed her mind. _"Sharing secrets is actually really relieving when you're not getting judged for them."_

Feeling a small smile get back on her down face, Star stood herself up. "That's... reassuring, I think."

"Well, I don't know if I'd call myself reassuring, but I want you to know Star, I can relate to your situation." Eclipsa explained. "Once upon a time I also wanted something that seemed to be completely beyond me, I wanted it so bad that it hurt. I did what I had to do, for me, to get to it, even if I had to bend a few rules in the process, because I knew if I let the opportunity pass I'd never get the chance again." Star seemed briefly off put by this explanation, but when Eclipsa's face shifted to one of pure, joyous content instead of becoming smug or villainous, the young princess felt a genuine connection to the older woman. "And even if the end result was me being where I am now, I don't regret any of it. Better to have reached and missed than to have stayed one's hand forever."

The words resonated deep inside Star, and though she felt a connection between her and Eclipsa solidifying, the pit in her stomach suddenly made her want to be alone. "Eclipsa... that was a beautiful thing you just said. I really wish I'd heard it a long time ago though." Stat lamented, causing the queen of darkness to give her a pitying look. "Look, I... it's getting late, I need to go. Thank you for being so open with me."

"Of course Star, I was happy to." Eclipsa answered in a sympathetic tone. "It was wonderful speaking to you, and please, I must beg you to come back at some point. It may be a selfish demand of mine but I'm worried I might go stir crazy without someone to talk to, and I have some lingering doubts that your mother is ever going to visit me."

"Oh, no worries, I'll come back at some point." Star reassured while opening the door out of the bedroom. "Just.. tired right now, and need to think. Goodnight, Eclipsa."

"Goodnight Star." The freed prisoner answered back, before laying down on her bed once the door had closed and Star had walked away, at which point she mused to herself. "Now, I wonder who my next visitor is going to be?"

The answer came a short while later when Eclipsa could hear a small, short conversation muffling through the walls. As soon as the words ended, Dipper and Pacifica entered the bedchamber together, having gotten past the guards with a letter of authorization signed by the princess herself. The boy carefully closed the door behind him while the girl kept her eyes on the dark queen all the while. Eclipsa, for her part, greeted them warmly.

"Children, welcome, welcome!" She spoke warmly, offering up chairs for them to sit in before seating herself on the bed. "I feel like a popular young maiden again, just the center of everyone's attention at all hours of the day!"

"We'll keep this on a professional basis then. I'm Pacifica Northwest." The blond human introduced herself as her boyfriend stepped over to stand beside her. "And I'm Dipper Pines." He greeted, before explaining "We're magic researchers from a dimension commonly known as Earth. We'd like to ask you some questions to expand our knowledge basis, and in exchange we can offer a degree of legal assistance with your upcoming trial."

"Oh, what inquisitive minds you little ones have!" Eclipsa remarked with the tone of a small child looking at an adorable puppy. "No need for the legal advice you two. It's been some time since I've talked to anyone remotely knowledgeable about magic, and simply having some discussion about one of my interests is reward enough." Then, with a more joking tone, she added "Just be careful how long you spend around me, or the Commission will have you running around their ridiculous tests."

"I appreciate your concern, but we already figured out how to cheat all of those." Dipper responded with a sincere tone to his voice.

"Oooh, devious. I approve."

"So, Eclipsa." Pacifica spoke up, starting the interview. "I'm sorry to say that history has not painted you favorably since your imprisonment. You are frequently decried and accused of various crimes in numerous history texts, but the details of them don't always add up. We're more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt, but we do need to ask you some questions before we can really go through with that."

"Oh, I always figured I'd go down in history like that, no need to apologize." Queen Eclipsa remarked, laying flat on her back, head on pillow on her bed while speaking. "As long as I can progress towards my goals and dreams, I don't mind how history paints me." At this point, she sat up and turned to face the two. "Go ahead, I'll answer some questions."

"Alright, so, to begin with..." Pacifica began the conversation as Dipper readied a pencil and notepad to jot down all the queen's responses. "...Despite information on your reign being inconsistent across documented Mewman history, all sources agree you were a powerful magic user who experimented with something called Dark Magic. Can you first confirm or deny working with Dark Magic, and then explain to us what makes it different from regular magic?"

Eclipsa seemed pleased by the question offered up to her, and began her explanation with a closed eyes smile. "Well, I always did love to experiment with magic and cook up new spells, so your first one shall be a solid confirm, but as for the second..." She trailed off briefly, indicating a more complicated answer. "...If you want more information on Dark Magic, you should probably talk to the Magical High Commission, they seem to make up the rules about what is or isn't dark." She answered with a somewhat sarcastic tone, before getting more serious. "When I was still the princess, which was when I had the most time to study and invent magic, there were forbidden spells that were deemed too dangerous, but they came from a multitude of sources, there was no universal 'Dark' behind them. Some were banned for being too dangerous, or too powerful, while others were simply politically inconvenient. Then, after my imprisonment, my whole line of work was declared 'Dark' and locked up in the spellbook, as far as it's been explained to me. Even a harmless little spell I made to determine how much life a living body has in it."

"What about the fact that your most prominent spell inflicts a physical toll on the caster?" Dipper asked next, referencing the rotted arms of both monarchs of mewni. "What is the root of that aspect of the spell?"

"Great acts require great power." Eclipsa said dismissively. "I wasn't in a position to make all my spells perfect, I frequently had to settle for good enough given how fraught with enemies my reign was. In a way through, it sort of makes it a heroic power, don't you think?" Eclipsa posited, causing the two humans to look sideways at each other in curiosity. "The spell demands sacrifice in exchange for its great power. This makes it unlikely that someone would end up abusing it, as to take up the burden of the Darkest Spell is to sacrifice one's own health and lifespan to defeat a powerful enemy. You would have to truly believe you and the ones you care about are under threat to use it." Then, a little more teasingly, she added "Moon seemed eager to trade when I first met her, but she seems to have gotten cautious and deflecting with adulthood. How unfortunate. Perhaps she's simply less comfortable with the idea of sacrificing for her people than she wants to believe about herself, and that's the real feeling of evil she felt welling up as she cast my magic."

Dipper had scrawled down every word, following intensely on the trail of Eclipsa's explanation. Then she casually added something that made the boy drop his pencil. In a teasing tone of voice, she remarked "Of course, to foil the body rot, I could just steal one of your bodies and just fly away after REALLY ruining this one."

Her tone was playful and she'd meant the statement as one of her usual dark jokes, but based on how the two humans reacted Eclipsa instantly and visibly regretted what she had said. Pacifica and Dipper both tensed up immediately, but the moment was somewhat ruined when both of them took a step forward and to the side to try and put themselves between Eclipsa and their partner, resulting in both of them bashing their shoulders into the other and both of them letting out a small yelp of pain as a result.

Both looked at each other, arguing entirely through facial expression over who should step back and be shielded by the other, but before they could reach a conclusion Eclipsa spoke up again, her tone a mix of apologetic and completely taken by what was in front of her. "I'm sorry you two. That was just a joke, but I take it there are some bad memories in that area?"

Both were guarded for a moment, Pacifica looking to Dipper to see how much he wanted to reveal about his experiences, and after a moment, he simply nodded his head. "Yes, some... bad memories. Look, you couldn't have know though, let's just move on."

"Of course dearies, but I must say if either of you are haunted by bad memories, the way you both stood together there tells me they don't stand a chance again you." Eclipsa complimented, causing both humans to blush. "Ah, young love!" She teased playfully. "My monster lover and I were much the same, we'd just lock up in situations like that because neither of us could stand for the other taking the arrow instead."

"Yes, of course." Dipper muttered, as he and Pacifica remembered the towering monster and his mouth of razor sharp teeth that Star had shown them as part of the whirlwind refresher on the queen of darkness she'd offered the humans as soon as their earlier group hug had ended. "What happened to him anyway?" The boy asked, then regretted it as soon as the question made the former queen quite downcast looking, which also earned him a mild glare for his girlfriend.

"...I don't really know." Eclipsa admitted, looking down at the palms of her hands as she sat on the bed. "He was still alive and kicking when I was frozen in crystal, so I'm not really sure. Perhaps the MHC froze him in crystal as well, or maybe... well, it's been a long couple of hundred years after all..."

Both humans looked profoundly uncomfortable now, Dipper in particular scratching the back of his neck out of guilt for bringing this subject up. "If it's alright you two, do you think you could let me rest at this point?" Eclipsa asked as gently as possible. "It's, well, it's been a very long day you understand..."

"Oh, of course!" Dipper responded quickly. "If you're not feeling up to this anymore we can leave, no problem! What do you think Pacifica?"

"Completely agree. If she'd like to rest we should let her rest."

"Well, until next time. Good luck with all this trial business!" Dipper said in parting as the two hastily shuffled out of the room, leaving behind a rather solemn looking queen of darkness. As soon as the door was closed and locked behind them though, Eclipsa let out a sigh and got a mildly mischievous smile on her face. _"Well, you didn't lie to them Eclipsa, that mention of Globby did make me a little sad... but you never could resist getting dramatic, could you?" _She thought to herself, giggling a little before laying down on her bed in a relaxed state again. _"They're good kids though, and you didn't trick them that badly. Just taking the steps I need to in order to put some extra hounds on the trail. They seem every bit as exceptional as Star made them sound in our garden talk." _After that, Eclipsa closed her eyes and settled in. "Now, we wait for the night's final visitor..."

She didn't have to wait long. The sound of vertical footsteps gently reverberated into the room early enough for Eclipsa to be stand up, open the window and compose herself before Stanford Pines climbed through the rose tower window, gently closing the shutter behind him before removing the goggles he'd worn for the climb. "You know you could have just gotten a security pass from Princess Star." Eclipsa said teasingly, not showing the slightest bit of surprise or discomfort at Ford's arrival.

"I don't want the queen to know I visited you." Ford said bluntly. His tone was all business and interrogative, but his actual stance was more distant and cautious. He stayed by the window instead of getting closer to Eclipsa while he asked his questions. "I'd like you to tell me more about this deal you made with her."

"Oh my, all these theatrics for that old piece of ancient history? You flatter me." Eclipsa responded disarmingly, then with a quite free tone of voice went into an explanation. "Well, Moon had just been made Queen, and was at war with the monster who had assassinated her mother. He was a tough specimen though, extremely difficult to kill even with the most powerful magics. So she had me briefly unfrozen so I could teach her some that could. Those were the terms: Upon the monster's death, I'd be free."

Ford had listened to the whole explanation without a single change of expression. "An interesting set of terms, Eclipsa. On one hand, most would demand their freedom be provided up front, and would not be content waiting to be paid back on a matter like this."

"Well, however long it took didn't really matter to me." Eclipsa said dismissively. "After all, five seconds versus five centuries in crystal hardly makes a difference to me! Besides, what if the spell didn't work?" That last statement actually seemed to catch the stoic Ford by surprise, causing Eclipsa to follow up on it. "I'd hardly be upholding the spirit of the agreement if I got out in exchange for a spell that didn't work, and my magical creations have always been a bit... temperamental..."

"An interesting stance. There are many people out there who are perfectly happy to sell something that doesn't work." Ford commented, before resuming his more inquiring tone of voice. "But... on the other hand, still a very cleverly worded contract. The conditions of 'the monster's death' are suitably vague, ensuring the fact that you'd still be set free even if Moon found some other way to defeat him, or if someone else managed the feat."

"Well, you've got me on that one." Eclipsa admitted, shrugging her shoulders in a playful fashion. "What can I say? I really wanted to be free of that crystal."

"Understandable." Ford remarked, switching back to his inscrutable demeanor. The queen of darkness was actually matching him in this regard, meeting his face, unreadable by flat control and steely, with her own coy and mysterious expression that offered a similar level of unreadable mystery. The two were evenly matched.

"What I'm more interested in is the actual mechanisms of your deal." He asked her. "How did you enforce it?"

"Well, if that's your question, you'll have to ask Moon, because as unbelievable as this sounds, my freedom is entirely due to her." Eclipsa explained, and while Ford's expression didn't change, a small brightness to his eyes indicated she'd gotten his mind racing, considering all possibilities. "You see, I never quite got the hang of casting wandless magic..." she admitted without missing a beat "...So when young Moon came before me, she held all the true power in that situation. I told her that a deal between queens is unbreakable, but that may have been, well, just the littlest fib." This time, the confession came with a slight twang of guilt as Eclipsa made a gesture with her index finger and thumb indicating how little the fib is supposed to be. "I had to put the idea in her head, you see. Magic isn't the most reliable thing, after all, sometimes users of the royal wand can end up doing things they never actively meant to, but deep down secretly want to or think they need to."

"Subconscious mana articulation." Ford replied, speaking as an expert on the subject. "When in proximity with an abundant supply of arcane radiation, even the smaller, weaker electrical impulses of subconscious thought can trigger a reaction in the energy. Pertinent to hidden wishes, sleep spelling and some instances of poltergeist activity."

Clapping her hands together excitedly, Eclipsa remarked "Oh my! Someone is certainly up to date on the theories! That's lovely you know, it's been so long since I've been able to speak on these matters with an intellectual equivalent. But please, forgive me, I've gotten sidetracked." she admitted before returning to the nitty gritty of magic. "So, what I was trying to say is that Moon always had the ability to keep me frozen in that crystal. I didn't have the wand at the time we made our deal, so there was no magic backing it, I couldn't bind her into a contract. It wasn't worth anything more than a friendly handshake."

"But Moon believed there was more going on, didn't she?" Ford conjectured. "When her enemy finally died recently, as much as she wanted to keep you in crystal, she knew she was obligated to let you go deep inside. She felt like you were going to be freed no matter what, because of the deal, and knew it should be her letting you out. So her magic subconsciously flowed to you, gradually wearing down the crystal until it set you free."

"Possibly." Eclipsa answered, before doing a little conjecturing of her own. "There were more factors than that, most likely. I suspect Star had a great deal to do with this as well, since Moon clearly told her the story of how she and I met, and young Star is both the current holder of the wand and much more upstanding when it comes to upholding bargains than her mother. There was also some kind of magic catastrophe going on recently that may have been weakening the crystal itself, maybe? I'm not clear on all the details of that." With a shrug, she simply concluded "Regardless, I am firmly of the opinion I am free at this moment because, despite what she may say, Moon thinks I should be free."

"Very interesting, thank you for answering my question Eclipsa." Ford said politely. He'd gotten far more information on this visit than he'd initially expected, though of course he'd be taking it with a grain of salt until he could independently confirm these ideas. It was time for him to go, but he hesitated. "Would it be alright if I examine your arms?" He finally asked after wrestling with the idea for a few moments.

"I don't see why not." Eclipsa answered rather quickly, taking Ford by surprise as she casually removed her gloves and held an arm up for the scientist to take a close look. He finally stepped across the room, getting closer to the queen of darkness as he carefully examined the dark rot traveling through her arms. His expression finally shifted, but instead of disgust or condemnation, he simply regarded the phenomenon in front of him with curiosity.

"It's such a dreadful thing..." Eclipsa mused aloud, before seeming to catch herself mid-sentence. "...For Moon, I mean. She was so young when she came to me for help. To think that she was never able to hold Star with her own two hands. That as soon as her little ball of sunshine was born, she'd have to cradle her with this rot. Every second of contact with your new baby reminding her of how her own mother was taken from her." Eclipsa rubbed her right arm with the other while wiggling her right fingers, as if to get across the full nature of her affliction. "Of course, that's simply the price one has to pay for knowledge. I was ready to do so, I don't regret any of my discoveries to this day, but it's a shame such a thing was thrust onto Moon before she was ready for it."

"You don't regret it then?" Ford asked. The barriers of inscrutability where beginning to come down around both of them, each managing to read more and more off the other's face.

"Never." Eclipsa said firmly. "I've experienced many hardships as a result of the choices I've made, but they're all part of the road I've chosen. It isn't always easy to bear, but all knowledge is good knowledge, as so I will carry the burden, knowing it makes me a more complete person." At this point, Ford was looking very distant, causing Eclipsa to gaze at him with genuine, peeked curiosity. "Do you have regrets, Stanford Pines of Earth? I can see from your stance and walk alone that you have endured a great deal, but do you regret any of it? Would you take those painful incidents out of your past, knowing that would make you someone different, someone with less knowledge, less complete than what you are now?"

His face was close to her's at this point but Ford wasn't looking at Eclipsa anymore, his eyes saw right through her as his mind was a million miles and thirty years away. Memories were flashing across his eyes while his face betrayed his emotions, the painful home of New Jersey and the cramped but warm college, slow madness amid the winter snow, that terrible fight, the infinite horror of a multiverse gone mad, not gone mad, born mad, mad from the moment it began spinning.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Eclipsa. I should go."

Ford had clamped down on his runaway thoughts and emotions, and was stepping back towards the window as he said that. Eclipsa began to put her gloves back on as she watched him go, a look of genuine concern on her face now. "Stanford?" She said, just before he began his climb down. "I do think I'd like to speak to you again. As I said before, it has been some time since I've been able to discuss the magical theories with someone who can appreciate them."

"I... I will make an effort to meet you again." Ford responded with an uncertain tone. "I would appreciate that opportunity as well." Then he was gone, scaling down the side of the tower under the cover of the newly arrived night, mulling over his new understanding of the queen of darkness, just as she was mulling over her newfound understanding of him.

Rewinding now to earlier in the evening, just after the first meeting with the released queen of darkness, Star was sort of aimlessly wandering the halls of the castle, musing over the recent conversation and trying to put her thoughts in order. She was steadily getting closer to her room, just taking a very wide path to get there. _"I just want to be free of this doubt and this hurt. I had hoped my talk with Pacifica would make things easier but seeing her and Dipper together just makes me long even more. It's... it's a different feeling than the hurt that would come from watching Marco and Jackie together, more of a dull ache where I can still feel happy for them, but it still hurts."_

As she was walking down the hallways, she could faintly hear a voice carrying down the way. It was harsh and aggressive, and under normal circumstances Star would be the first person to bound down the hallways and see what a disturbance was all about, but after everything that had happened today she was exhausted and more than content to just walk past. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she could faintly hear someone different respond to the first voice.

"Look, go talk to Queen Moon or King River, they'll tell you who I am! I'm allowed to be here!"

_"No." _Star thought to herself, an enormous well of emotions bubbling up inside her. She couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling right now because there was so much raw emotion it was crushing her flat. _"It... it can't be."_

"A likely story, scum!" The harsh voice of a castle guard echoing off the walls, but Star didn't even hear the older sounding man as she began to walk, as if in a daze, towards the disturbance. "You picked the wrong day to try and break into the princess' bedroom creep, you're getting brought down by the full force of the royal guard today!"

The words kept getting louder as Star steadily worked her way towards the heated conversation. She could feel the blood beating in her ears, straining desperately in hopes another statement would confirm her initial thought, confirm it was more than an idle, idealistic imagining. _"I don't know if I can do this again..."_

"I keep telling you, it's not what it looks like! I need to see Star right away! Doesn't anyone in this castle recognize me!?"

The disturbance had finally come into view for Star, and it was exactly what she had feared. Two guards, dragging an intruder between them. When the princess stepped into their path, the intruder froze up right away, causing the guards to angrily drag him for a few seconds until they spotted the princess and stopped to salute. "Good evening your majesty, just caught a little intruder. Nothing to wor..."

"Guards, out. Leave the prisoner with me, you are dismissed." Star spoke, abruptly and coldly. She was doing her best, serious approximation of the commanding tone of the queen, not a sliver of mockery to her use of the voice this time.

"Wha... but, your majesty, he's..."

"OUT!" Star demanded in response to the guard's confused stuttering, abruptly losing her cool and screaming harshly enough to make the prisoner flinch before both guards simply dropped him to the ground and ran off, leaving the two of them all alone together in an obscure castle hallway.

_"I didn't think it was possible... I didn't WANT to think it was possible because I didn't want to open myself up to being hurt again." _Star thought to herself as she stepped forward at a slow, dreamlike pace. _"I hadn't been able to figure out why exactly I hurt so much until I talked to Eclipsa today, and she explained the pain of having never reached for what you want in the first place. But was I wrong? Do I have another chance?"_

Standing in front of Star Butterfly, wearing his familiar red hoodie and uneasy expression, was Marco Diaz, trembling in place and unsure of what to say, just like she could remember him. Either forgetting or simply not caring about how the gesture could be taken, Star stepped very close to the boy so she could rub her hand against his face, wanting to confirm he was real. If this bothered Marco, he didn't express it.

"H...hey Star." Marco spoke, limply waving an arm in greeting. "How ya been?"

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

_So, a bit shorter chapter than the last two, mostly dialogue, sorry about that. Queen Eclipsa finally enters the story, I have been waiting some time to write her and I hope you enjoy as well. I know that's a bit of a cliffhanger to leave you on, but I believe this reunion deserves its own chapter, and I plan to type it up as quickly as I can while still making this reunion as emotionally powerful as it deserves to be. Stay strong out there everyone._

_In response to the anonymous review of chapter 7: No, Dipper has not officially disowned Mabel and has no intentions to. He is, however, sort of enjoying the opportunity to work out how he feels about her with the benefit of some distance after the fairly major revelations that went down soon after she returned to town. _


	9. Resolution

_"He's back he's back HE'S BACK! MARCO DIAZ CAME BACK TO ME!"_

_"What is he doing here, he can't be here!? There's so much danger here!"_

_"How dare he come back here. Haven't you hurt me enough Marco? Did you come here just to make my own castle an agonizing house of longing as well?"_

_"My dreams are complete!"_

_"Where's Jackie!?"_

_"What if he hates me because of my confession?"_

_"I can't handle this, not so soon..."_

_"What does he truly think of me?"_

The two had been standing in silence after Marco's nervous question, the boy finding this more difficult than he'd imagined while Star was so completely overwhelmed by conflicting thoughts that she couldn't even know which emotion was hurting her at the moment. After a long, uncomfortable minute of this, Marco tried to break the ice again. "Star...? Are you alright?"

The familiar note of concern in Marco's voice was like the gunshot signaling the start of a race for Star. Without even thinking, she grabbed the boy by the arm and rushed off into the castle, unknowingly following the exact same trail the guards had just dragged Marco down. The boy let out a token yell of resistance to this but his body was cooperating with Star in full. The princess, meanwhile, was faintly aware of the fact she could have used magic to pull him along but chose to grab him by the arm anyways.

The end of the journey was Star's bedroom, and after shuffling Marco inside it with her, the princess pulled up a pair of chairs while waving her wand around and put them right in front of each other, then commanded the boy to sit without saying a word before joining him. As a result, the two were looking right at each other, seated so close together they could almost touch. Marco's face was now the one expressing an unstable torrent of emotions while Star looked blatantly and unnaturally blank. Behind her placid mask though, just as many emotions were swirling. She thought back to everyone she'd talked to during the last week: Dipper, Buff Frog, her mother, Stanford, Pacifica, Eclipsa. All of it seemed to be pulling her in so many directions, she felt thoughts and emotions she'd buried so far down in her stuffing beginning to burst out through her broken seams like she was a mauled teddy bear.

Marco opened his mouth to say something, but Star cut him off. "We need to talk." She said, as deathly serious as she'd ever been in her life. "We need to talk, and I don't care what you say. Say whatever you want, just say something to me when we talk now! I can handle anything you can say Marco, but I can't live with this horrible uncertainty anymore!"

"Sure... sure thing Star." Marco responded, obviously unnerved but trying to play it cool. "Has there been something happening here on Mewni? The guards seemed really worked up..."

"Marco I'm sorry." Star burst out, unable to keep her watering eyes trained on the boy and choosing to look at her own shows instead. "When I confessed to you back on Earth before I fled from Toffee, that wasn't fair! I just dropped it on you out of nowhere, and in front of your girlfriend and then just left without giving you a chance to even answer it."

Marco was very quiet now, as even though he'd done everything in his power to not think about the event Star was recounting since it had happened he'd subconsciously settled into the plan of simply never discussing it for as long as he lived, a plan that had been instantly shot to pieces by the opening bout. When he couldn't muster any words, Star kept going, her words getting faster as more and more just came tumbling out. "It wasn't something I should have done to you Marco, and if you and Jackie hate me for that I'll understand, but I just can't... I can't..."

Star was abruptly silenced as Marco leaned forward and hugged her, having put every one of his doubts and reservations to bed in the face of Star's increasingly desperate and miserable sounding words. "Star, wherever this goes, I want you to know I don't hate you and I NEVER could, and if that's what you've been thinking for, well, awhile... then I'm sorry."

The two broke the hug at that point, both having calmed down significantly. Star was taking a few deep breaths to get back in gear, and when she was ready to speak again she dove straight to the problem before she could lose her nerve again. "Not even if I'm between you and Jackie now?" she asked, needing an answer more than anything.

In response, Marco took his turn looking down at the floor, a guilty and regretful expression on his face as he struggled with his own emotions. "Star... me and Jackie broke up. Like, half an hour ago. It's... it's sort of why I'm here."

Star was quiet in response. Her eyes had widened as far as they could go, damp patches still doting her the blue expanses. On the inside, her heart had reflexively exploded upon hearing Marco's words, an overwhelming flood of happiness rampaging through her body on instinct that was just as instantly crushed flat by the reciprocal feelings of guilt, disgust and self-loathing that Star felt about herself for taking joy in her bestie's heartbreak.

_"HE DID IT, HE LEFT JACKIE FOR ME! I WIN!"_

_"WHAT HAVE I BECOME!? I RUINED A RELATIONSHIP MARCO ASPIRED TO FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE!"_

_"He's come back to me... at least I can't lose him again."_

_"No one can steal him from me now."_

_"All I can do is hurt people."_

_"Am I just second best for him?"_

_"Star you selfish animal, romance is probably the LAST thing Marco wants to talk about right now!"_

All of these thoughts struggled with each other in Star's head, all of them being a real segment of emotion she felt, but also none of them being the complete picture. As was becoming a frequent occurrence for the princess, she didn't know how to feel. Finally, she managed to squeak out "...I'm sorry."

"Star, don't be. Me and Jackie didn't work out because I'm an idiot." Marco responded, selflessly willing to heap blame upon himself for the sake of everyone around him, as usual. This time though, Star felt something boil up in response. Almost angrily, she reached out and lifted Marco by the chin so they could look each other in the eyes.

"Marco, no! You are not the idiot here! The idiot is me, Star! I don't want to hear anyone badmouthing you like that, not even yourself!" She spoke, doing her best to try to strengthen the boy's confidence. However, Marco wasn't having it.

"No Star! Don't say that about yourself! You were under a lot of stress at the time and you made a mistake! I am the idiot here! I hurt Jackie and I hurt you over and over again because I was too stupid to see what was directly in front of me!" He responded, as tension slowly began to build between the two of them and a shouting match developed.

"Marco, I'm telling you, you're the smartest, most clever guy I know! I messed everything up!"

"Star, you are brave, confident, in touch with your feelings, and not an idiot! If I had been more aware of how you felt things would be better now!"

"I shouldn't have even felt what I felt!"

"I played it too safe!"

"I AM THE IDIOT HERE MARCO!"

"NO STAR, I AM!"

As soon as the two realized they'd devolved into shouting at each other, both fell silent in an instant. Star actually covered her mouth as she leaned back and looked at Marco with wide eyes, feeling actively horrified she'd broken down into yelling at him, while Marco's neck bent down as he looked at the floor and was overwhelmed with guilt for screaming at Star. Things were quiet between them for a few minutes as both tried to sort out their feelings.

"Marco?" Star asked, once she was feeling strong enough to speak again. "What did you mean earlier? When you said that you and Jackie breaking up is why you're here?"

Marco didn't answer right away, needing a moment to put his thoughts together, and even when it did speak it was only after taking several deep breaths. "Well, to be honest, there was a whole conversation we had before we decided it wasn't working, but now I'm thinking I was an idiot and didn't even get the point of that conversation either." He explained in a slow, melancholy fashion, before more energetically adding "And before you tell me not to call myself an idiot, wait! I need... I need to get something off my chest before we continue!"

Taking several more deep breaths, Marco muttered a little to psyche himself up before going into an explanation. "Okay, right. Well, let's get this one out right away: Star, I've always thought, always know that you are... well, a-attractive..." He said, minuscule confidence dying and causing him to stutter off at the end. However, a brave look at the effect this statement had on Star, who was wide eyed and fascinated by this, with a hint of joy creeping onto her face, gave Marco the strength to carry on. "I mean, that's not even, you know, an opinion! Even for that half a day when we first met where I sort of hated you for falling into my life out of nowhere and ruining everything, I was always able to acknowledge that you're, you know, very, uh, physically attractive and, well, p...pretty. And going forward from there, I never stopped thinking that was true."

"Reaaaaally?" Star asked, borderline intoxicated by the idea that Marco thought she was attractive. It was the smallest possible drop of emotional satisfaction, and Star knew it, but after their separation and the intense longing she'd experienced, she hungered voraciously for even that minuscule drop. When Marco nodded to confirm it, she felt herself melt inside, an outright joyful expression finally crossing onto her face. "Oooooh Marco!" She couldn't help but exclaim, finally feeling her aching heart being validated.

"Star, wait, let me finish." Marco responded, a little more sternly than he'd meant to, but he knew he had to get everything out in the open right now or the moment might be lost. "But, that realization sparked, well, a second realization I guess. Back on Earth Star, I was your host, remember? Your family had placed an enormous amount of trust in both my parents and myself that you would be safe and cared for during a stay in a strange and potentially frightening new world. I knew, as soon as it was clear to me you were both very attractive and going to stay, I knew that I could not, under and circumstances, violate that sacred trust, particularly when, you know, you and me started getting along. So, I did my best to never think about the fact that I liked the way you look and to treat you purely as a friend." Looking a little guilty, he added "I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I, well, took advantage of you, even if it was by accident."

Despite the heavy weight to all of Marco's words, his next speech was surprisingly uplifting by comparison. "But you know, that might have actually been for the best. Because that made me look at you deeper Star. You became a best friend who I trusted completely, and who always had my back. A warm, beautiful soul that helped me to live for the first time, who would never stop trying to do what was right or what would make her friends happy no matter how dangerous or difficult it looked to be. I'd spent my life living so far down in the dumps that when you picked me up for the first time and showed me how high life can climb I was scared by it, until you helped me realize there was nothing to be frightened by."

"Marco I know you're trying to get your feelings all out at once for me and I appreciate that but please I need to stop that was beautiful!" Star interrupted, her misted over eyes beginning to match Marco's the deeper the two got into this conversation. "Whatever you feel about me in this sense Marco, I feel the exact same way! You changed my life just as much as I changed yours! Before I met you I felt like, I felt like a warnicorn that had lived in a cage its whole life! Nobody ever wanted me for me, you know what I'm saying!? Mom, dad, the country, the other kingdoms, everyone had a specific Star that THEY wanted me to be, who would suit THEIR needs the best! I tried to vent and be myself by beating up monsters, but you showed me so much more! You appreciated me for who I was, who I REALLY was, and I could be myself with you, in all kinds of ways that didn't just involve random fights! It... it felt like sometimes you even loved me for who I am Marco, and I guess that's why I couldn't help but fall in love with you."

With that, a heavy weight settled onto the room. The awkwardness of Star's mentioned confession paled compared to what had finally been said out loud. Star had admitted to Marco that she had fallen in love with him.

"I never realized that I, well, that I meant so much to you Star." Marco responded, struggling to put his new, painful feelings into words. "It always seemed to me that you were what made us special, you know? You're the magic princess, you take me to all these crazy dimensions and show me all these adventures, you make me laugh with your bubbly, infectious enthusiasm... I always thought I was just along for the ride, to some degree. Like you could have ended up roommates with anyone and they'd go through the changes I did." By now, both of them had brought their hands together in the gap between the chairs they were both seated on.

"Well you're wrong Marco Diaz." Star answered, looking straight at him even if Marco couldn't meet her eyes at the moment. "No one else, in your world or mine, could have done for me what you did. No one else in the multiverse is the exact combination of strong, smart, caring and encouraging that you are and that I needed. You're... you're perfect for me Marco!" Star tumbled out, feeling every word hurt like a ripped off bandage as it left her mouth. Her heart was being barred to the boy in front of her, and every inch of it stung with dreadful anticipation of a crushing break Star feared was still to come. But at the same time, she knew, with more certainty the longer they talked, that this had to happen. _"Even if he stomps my heart to bits here, I can live with that." _Star thought to herself. _"At least it will all be over then."_

Marco, in contrast to Star wrestling with old, achy emotions, was wrestling with an ongoing parade of fresh, red hot revelations that burned at him every time they came to life. _"I've been oblivious." _He thought to himself. _"Blind, deaf and stupid to what was going on with everyone, even myself. But whatever my heart decides to throw at me, I'll figure it out and stop it, right here and right now! Star's been hurt so badly by all of this, and I... I... I WON'T LET THAT KEEP HAPPENING! IF MY FEELINGS THINK THEY CAN KEEP HURTING STAR I'LL PUNCH THEM ALL INTO NEXT MONTH!"_

"Star, I've cared about you, I always have and I always will! I care about you more than anything in the world!" Marco yelled, the tears flowing out of his eyes freely now as his pride was torn to shreds by the ruthless sandstorm of emotion he was exposing it to, but he didn't care. He wasn't thinking his words through at all anymore, just reaching inside past all his self-deceptions and blind moments, ripping his real feelings free and throwing them out of his own mouth. _"I don't care if I end up hurt or humiliated for any of this, Star needs the truth and she's going to get it!"_

"We were closer than I'd ever been with anyone in my life, but because I'd made that vow so early that I'd never betray your trust, I didn't let myself see, see anything really!" The boy continued to spill, a mess of emotions coloring his tone as he got it all out. "I was so blinded by tunnel vision on us just being friends that I ignored how I felt, I ignored how you felt, I ignored reality and in the end, I ignored the girl that you yourself had swallowed your feelings and helped me pursue!" Bewildered by his own revelation, Marco leaned back in his chair and gestured wildly with his hands, rapidly losing touch with his own control of the situation. "Oh my god, Star! Did you have a crush on me WHILE you were being my wingman for Jackie!? That's... that's... I can't believe you could do that!"

Star, meanwhile, had been drinking in every word Marco had said, her eyes wide and just as full of tears as his were as she took in everything he said. _"I've been struggling with these feelings for months, no, I've HAD months to sort all these feelings out and do something with them, and now, what, do I expect Marco to solve all this!? He's getting punched in the face by MONTHS of emotional struggle all at once, and all because of me! HOW DARE MY MONTHS OLD FEELINGS OF HURT BEAT UP THIS BEAUTIFUL BOY IN FRONT OF ME!? THAT'S IT, THEY'RE GETTING THE BOOT!"_

"MARCO, STOP, I'M SORRY!" Star shouted out, causing the boy to silence the stream of babbling he'd gone on as revelation after revelation struck him. "I shouldn't have kept my feelings locked up and let things get this bad! I should have told you! I shouldn't have helped you date Jackie and I should have just been honest with you! I should have awoken you from your sleep one Saturday morning by playing an enormous horn on the front lawn of your house from the back of a white warnicorn steed with piles of roses everywhere and a full barbecue grill and an enormous sign that says 'I love you Marco Diaz!" because I LOVE YOU MARCO DIAZ!" After having let it all out, Star breathed heavily for a moment before hanging her head low. "But I didn't. And now everyone is hurt. And I'm sorry for being such a big idiot."

Another uncomfortable silence had descended over the two, and minutes later, this one was also broken by Marco Diaz. Instead of another outpouring of feeling or more warm words however, this time he broke it... by laughing. It started off as just a mild under the breath chuckle, but steadily got louder and louder. Once she could hear the laughter for herself, Star looked up at him. _"Oh no, I finally drove Marco insane!" _she screamed in her head, but that doubt was soon enough put to rest.

"You uh... you had that specific scenario in mind for awhile?" Marco asked teasingly, unable to help himself but giggle at this. Star, rather than being upset, recognized this instantly as one of the boy's good natured laughs, and didn't at all feel like she was being mocked. Instead, she wanted in on the joke, and even chuckled a few times on reflex. "I mean... for a bit, yes. What's so funny?"

"I was just, you know, thinking about all the ways it would probably go wrong. Which it would have, since it's us we're talking about." Marco answered, and in response, Star's laughter actually got stronger as well.

"Oh my goodness you're totally right." She said with an air of self-depreciation. "I'd probably have been in such a rush to make everything perfect that I'd pick the rowdy warnicorn that bucks me off at some point and poops everywhere, huh?"

"I mean, only if we weren't already at the hospital because I, seized by a fit of romantic passion, tried to jump down to you out of my bedroom window and both shattered my legs on impact and landed in the thorniest pile of roses on the front lawn." Marco shot back, getting an unexpected belly laugh out of Star.

"No, no, there wouldn't be any roses left because I'd probably blow up the grill trying to make you the traditional Johansen Courting Steak and then you'd come out with a fire extinguisher and douse everything off, including me. Then I'd probably throw foam at you, because I love doing that..." Star mused idly in response, a far away look on her face as she considered the idea.

"Right, right, I remember. I was wondering for awhile, actually, if you weren't starting fires on purpose just so I'd have to come out and spray the fire extinguisher so you could roll around in all the foam, you really enjoyed doing that the two or three times it happened." Marco said back, then raise his eyebrow to consider another possibility. "There'd probably be some weird magic element to the whole thing that I'd ignore or disrespect and then that would have us running for our lives. As usual." His last words, instead of being bitter, were more nostalgic and wanting.

"You'd get stuck in the giant horn somehow." Star said back, playfully.

"You'd try and strike a dashing stance by lifting me onto the warnicorn with a rose between your teeth, but you'd forget to take the thorns off first and I'd have to bandage your lips." Marco retorted, equally playful.

"That doesn't sound too bad!" Star said which a giggle. "I'd much rather have to go through all that than fall off the warnicorn a bunch of times like you would, dork."

"Well, I wouldn't be the one with all the traffic tickets you'd inevitably rack up when you take that thing stampeding through downtown then, would I?" Marco answered back, causing both to collapse into giggles. When both of them calmed down at roughly the same time, the silence that descended was much more comfortable than the previous two had been. They took a long moment to look in each other's eyes, a tinge of the old nervousness returning. Both took a gulp to try and gather courage, with Star being the first to speak.

"So, just to be clear, you're single now, right?"

"Yes Star. Yes I am."

"And... you don't hate me for causing you and Jackie to break up?"

Marco let out a long sigh before slumping back at that question. "Star... if I'm being honest, I wish you'd gotten in-between and broken me and Jackie up sooner. I wasn't treating her right."

"I don't believe that for a second." Star said accusingly. "Based on the mountains of first hand evidence I have collected about you over all the time we've spent together, you, Marco Diaz, are the best boyfriend any girl could ask for. You're caring, you're considerate, you do everything in your power to make others happy and you're cute as a button. There is no way anything that went wrong in that relationship was your fault."

"It was though Star! Things are different between you and me, and that's what the problem was!" Marco tried desperately to explain. "I'd admired her for so long, and from such a distance, that by the time I finally got close to her and won her over in a whirlwind romance I didn't even know who I was dating. Then I promised to get to know her better and I completely failed to do that." He leaned closer now, putting a hand on Star's cheek, the heart now beneath the hand glowing in response. "You're different Star. I know we really haven't known each other very long, all things considered, but we've been through so much together, I feel like we know each other inside and out. And... and, well..."

_"This is it Diaz." _The boy thought to himself, feeling like a volcano was going to erupt in his gut. _"I need to make this work, however this ends, I need to make Star happy! I can't hurt her again! I just need to dig up these feelings, get them in order..."_

"Marco, wait."

His thoughts abruptly went blank as Star's voice cut through Marco's haze. Despite the uncertain look the girl had on her face, she soon put both comforting arms on Marco's shoulders. "I know that look on your face." She explained, tilting her own head sideways a little as she looked into his eyes. "It's that look you get when you're about to dive headfirst into something stupid for my sake, and come out on the other side victorious despite how impossible that seems, because you're amazing. But..." With a regretful sigh, Star looked to the side and took a deep breath before looking back.

"Marco, don't do this just because you want me to be happy." She said, letting the brick in her stomach finally drop, crushing down on her sensitive insides. Still, she kept talking despite how much it hurt to. "Not too long ago I'd have just jumped into your arms as soon as you came back, but I've had some time and some experiences since then. If... if we're actually going to, to date..." Star explained, the word tasting forbidden on her tongue, but unable to help but sound briefly excited at the mention of the possibility. "...then I want it to be because you want me, just as much as I've wanted you. If you don't... if you don't I can learn to live with it."

The room was silent again, for the longest time yet as Star sat with silent anticipation, fearful and hopeful all at once. Marco was much more inscrutable, head hanging low to guard his expression, thoughts running through his head. This time though, the silence was broken not by one of them speaking, but by the much softer sound of Marco bringing his lips into contact with Star's.

_"Finally." _Was the last conscious thought Star had for a good while before the raw, unearthly joy of his touch wiped away her senses with the soft touch of Marco's dry lips. Objectively, it wasn't even a very good kiss, as Marco simply pressed his puckered up lips onto Star's unprepared ones, and the only flair to it was him grabbing her upper arms and leaning forward when Star's neck bent back listlessly in response, but for both of them it was the most important kiss of their lives. Finally, after a period time that was in that perfect awkward position between quick pecks and long make outs, Marco withdrew, sitting back down in his own chair and unconsciously licking his own lips while Star melted into her chair.

_"Wow." _Was the first thing Marco thought as his senses returned to him. The next thing to surprise him was his own reaction to this. Marco knew himself well enough to guess that he should be responding to having reached out and kissed Star by freaking out, panicking, and apologizing, in various orders and amounts, but instead... he felt calm. Placid, almost. Content. _"I just kissed Star Butterfly on the lips and it felt like the most natural thing in the world." _He thought to himself, almost disappointed at his own lack of a reaction. _"It felt good, inviting even. Like those lips had been waiting for me. I could have stayed like that forever. Well, until I needed oxygen at least."_

_"It's all worth it." _Were the equivalent thoughts going on in Star's head. _"Going to earth, blowing up the wand, all the weeks of heartbreak and fighting Toffee and sort of dying once... IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! Strike me down now, I don't care! I kissed Marco Diaz and it felt_ _amazing!" _It was everything Star had hoped for, everything she had dreamed of. In contrast to Marco's surprisingly straitlaced and normal aftertaste, Star was giggling and grinning in her chair, overwhelmed with happiness. However, what Marco said next easily cut through the haze and brought her back to reality.

"Star... let's make it happen."

_"No, he can't mean... does he really..."_

"Let's, well, you know, give this a try. Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend."

Marco tried to play it so smooth, deliver it in such a calm voice, but even his kiss induced placidity had shown some cracks in that delivery. It very much didn't matter to Star though. She briefly felt like her heart had stopped, and instantly responded by using magic to kick it back online, because she'd be damned to hell before she let a little cardiovascular failure hold her back at a time like this.

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"Star are you alright?"

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"Star do I need to take you to a hospital!?"

"eeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The princess' inarticulate squeal of delight reached maximum volume at this point as her arms and legs flopped around like improbably happy little noodles as she basically lost all control of herself, smiling so wide it looked like it hurt and grinning like an idiot. She actively started to drool from the mouth after flopping out of her chair and onto the floor while her neck swung back and forth with happiness. All the while her eyes had almost rolled into the back of her head.

"STAR!" Marco yelled in concern, but when he stood up and attempted to pull her off the floor she simply dragged him down with her, before enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. _"Star always gives the best hugs." _He couldn't help but think to himself at the sudden change of position, but then, he noticed this one had something new to it. Something none of Star's previous hugs had had before, and that was the feeling of her hands running up and down his back, seemingly directed by some sort of primordial hunger or a curiosity to explore that specific region of his body. _"Okay, new, but I'm kinda liking it."_

This act of hugging soon turned into an act of kissing, as Star bent her neck forward in order to capture Marco's lips with her own, which he gracefully accepted. What took the young man by surprise however, was when Star's tongue eagerly emerged from her mouth and burst its way into his, instantly going to town rolling and wrapping around his own. A conflicting haze of surprise and amazement coursed over Marco's brain, leaving him only able to think _"Wow. I guess we are smooch buddies now."_

The two soon separated, both in need of fresh air, but while Star looked ready to go back to kissing her new boyfriend, her glazed over eyes having gained a hungry new glint, Marco stood himself on his feet instead. "Star, c'mon. If we're gonna make out, let's not make out on the floor, okay?" He said, while offering her a hand up.

"O~kay!" Star giggled as she accepted the hand and stood up, planting a quick kiss on Marco's cheek before giggling. "I guess I did take things a little fast there, didn't I?"

"Maybe a little." Marco remarked dryly, as the reality of the situation settled in on him, the second dose of that placid feeling wearing off. "Oh my god, Star, we kissed! Star, we're dating now!" He said, starting to get frantic as her gripped both of Star's resting at her side arms with his hands while looking into her eyes. "What are we going to tell my parents!? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL YOUR PARENTS!?" He abruptly let go of Star and paced in a little circle. "I'm too young to get executed Star!"

"Marco, relax." She spoke with a chill, controlled tone. "If mom and dad want to execute you, they'll have to go through me. Besides, I've been thinking about this, and I know exactly how we'll break the news to them, no worries." That did seem to calm Marco down, as he stopped walking in a circle, but still looked a little troubled. This, in turn, made Star frown a little. "Hey, Marco, what's wrong? I told you, if you're still uncertain about things, don't do this just to make me happy."

"It's not that Star, you, uh, really managed to change my mind back there." Marco explained, scratching the back of his head while inwardly, Star swooned at the indirect compliment to her kissing. "It's just... well... I'm worried I might not be a good boyfriend to you Star."

"Oh Marco. Marco Marco Marco Marco Marcomarcomarcomarcomarco." Star chided while she stepped closer and closer and eventually gave her boyfriend a hug. "Just be the incredible friend you were to me back on Earth, and you can't fail. After all, that's what made me fall in love with you."

Smiling a little now, the human boy wrapped his arms around the princess of mewni and looked into her eyes. "That's all I've got to do huh?" He spoke playfully. "I think I can manage that..."

"With just one exception!" Star added in, removing one hand from her hug so she could gesture with a raised index finger. "You also need to give your girlfriend lots and lots of kisses!"

Laughing a little, Marco retorted with "I dunno Star, sounds like a lot more work. Hang on a sec." before leaning down and giving her a surprise kiss on the mouth. This time, he had his tongue ask permission to enter, which was instantly granted. This kiss was shorter, and Marco mostly used his tongue to gently rub Star's a little, but when he withdrew both were clearly satisfied by it. "All right." The boy spoke with mock weariness. "I suppose I can take on this extra duty."

"Good!" Star said authoritatively, as if to playfully chide him for thinking there was any other answer. "But, your new royal boyfriend duties will have to wait for another time! We need to get you settled in, find you a room, and OH!" Star suddenly burst with excitement midway through her stride to the door. "I have new friends you need to meet!"

"Oh wow, look at the forward planning on Star!" Marco teased playfully as he followed her. "I would have figured I'd need to bring up concerns about a room and a meal for me, and that you'd be the one suggesting we just make out for a few hours. Someone's been learning!"

"Hey, count yourself lucky you're so cute mister, or I could have had those guards throw you out for daring to come in and confess your love to me at this hour at night!" Star teased back, but then briefly bit her lip and changed tones to something more expository. "But it's been a long day for me, I'm actually exhausted. I'm still happier than anything that we had this talk and decided to do, well, all this, but I really do need to get some sleep soon."

Marco gave her a sympathetic smile and an apologetic, sober voice. "Hey, Star, it's alright, I'm sorry to have just dropped in like this. Look, we'll sort out where I'm staying, and then you can go to bed. We can meet your new friends and stuff tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I can wait any amount of time for you Star."

"Awww. That's sweet of you to say Marco." Star answered, one hand on the doorknob. Then however, with an almost sultry tone, she added "But don't go around waiting for me all the time _wild man._ That's how we got in all this trouble to begin with."

* * *

The next morning came early enough, and everything began normally enough, though the royal dinning table was a little sparse at the moment: It seems that just the humans were taking breakfast today, and Stanford ate his food quietly and left fairly quickly, leaving just the human teenagers.

"Are you sure your great uncle is okay Dipper? He seemed sort of troubled." Pacifica was asking.

"I wouldn't worry about it, I can recognize that expression on him. He gets that way when he doesn't have a project in motion or is feeling lost in terms of research." Dipper explained, making sure to talk in-between his bites. Due to their respective seating positions, the boy was able to notice a top hat wearing spider climbing onto the head of the table while carrying a trumpet before Pacifica did, but he kept talking like this wasn't unusual in the slightest. "He's probably just in a bit of a funk because we've got no way to go after Bill right now, which is troubling, I won't lie, but I'm sure intelligence reports will come in eventually."

Pacifica opened her mouth to respond, but it was at that moment that the magic spider opted to play its trumpet at maximum volume, causing the blond girl to jolt in her seat out of surprise while Dipper just chuckled at little. Before anyone could ask what the deal with this was, the answer presented itself.

"GOOD MORNING MEWNI!"

The enthusiastic voice of the land's princess could have woke the dead, but in the cavernous, nearly empty dinning hall it only turned the heads of the human couple. This gave them the perfect view of Star confidently striding into the dinning hall, carrying Marco in both arms as the two of them laughed. The air at first glance seemed to be full of flower petals as well, but those faded away as soon as you stopped looking at them.

"IS EVERYBODY READY TO GET THEIR FIRST HELPING OF MARCO DIAZ, ALL AROUND COOL GUY AND YOUR NEWEST BEST FRIEND!?" Star announced, setting the boy on his feat and gesturing up and down his body while he began to look embarrassed. "Look, but don't touch."

Both humans already at the table reacted with looks of surprise, though Dipper's was more one of dry amusement while Pacifica outright dropped her fork in shock. _"Oh, poor Paz." _Dipper thought to himself, looking at his girlfriend with sympathy _"But when you've lived with Mabel for as long as I did, you gain a resistance to strange shenanigans like this." _Clearing his throat, the boy made himself the first to speak. "Huh. He's kind of normal looking to be honest. Based on what I'd heard of him I imagined Marco being more... seven feet tall and able to shoot blue fire out of his hands."

Clearly a little amused by this, Marco responded with "Likewise, when Star told me she had made new friends recently, I was expecting a lot... weirder." He commented, as Star led him by the arm to the table, then pulled up her own chair so she could sit directly besides him and continually rub her head into his neck.

_"Wow." _Pacifica thought in her head, a little shocked and now consciously aware of the fact that she and Dipper had opted to sit across from each other instead of... that. _"She is REALLY into this guy. This suddenly explains a LOT about some of her behavior so far." _Clearing her throat, Pacifica added her part to the conversation. "Oh don't be fooled, the normalcy is only skin deep for Dipper over there." she teased.

"Hey, hold on a second." The boy responded, getting into the tone of voice for the kind of playful bickering the two had gotten used to with each other even before they started dating. "You had your own limo, yacht and pony before your age hit double digits, you're the strange one out of the two of us!"

The familiar references caught Marco off guard, to the point that he didn't notice when Star discreetly began putting small pieces of fruit into his mouth for him, and just chewed them on reflex inbetween sentences. "Wait, are you two from Earth?" He asked, suddenly taking a closer look at their clothing and finding it to be very earthlike. "How did you even get here?"

"Built an interdimensional portal. Once you apply a little elbow grease and follow the instructions they're not that hard to assemble." Dipper answered jokingly, and in a way that made Pacifica look at him with pleasant surprise. She'd expected him to be more guarded about the portal but was pleased to see her boyfriend opening up, and Dipper understood this right away. _"If Star trusts this guy, I'll trust this guy. Besides, I can tell this secret wouldn't have held even if I'd tried."_

"Wait, what? When!?"

"Thirty some years ago if you want to get technical, but the working model we used to actually get here was brought on line, oh, seven months ago?" Dipper explained while pointing a fork at the two and almost chiding Marco. "You and your magic princess aren't the only weird things to ever happen to Earth you know. There's all kinds of magic and anomalies hidden just under the surface, and we investigate them!"

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Marco asked shakily as it settled in these people were about the same age as him and Star.

"Shouldn't you?" Responded Dipper with a raised eyebrow, while Pacifica just answered "I'm rich."

"Well, you got me on that one." Marco admitted, before his eyebrows scrunched a little. "Hey, I don't think I caught your names?"

"Oh oh OH! No worries Marco, I'll introduce you!" Star spoke up while raising a hand above her head before the two could volunteer the information themselves. "That's Dipper Pines..." she said, while pointing to the boy in question. "He's awkward, but nice, so don't hold that against him! He helped me out with some magic trouble a few days ago and is quite the fighter!" Then, she pointed at the other girl seated at the table. "That's Pacifica Northwest! She's basically a princess from Earth, and she's really understanding and knowledgeable about how being royalty comes with a bunch of whack ins and outs. We haven't been friends very long but they helped me figure out a lot of stuff about myself, aaaaaaaaand..." Star drew out her last word while swishing a pointed finger through the air before tapping it against Marco's nose. "...just like you and me are now, they're daaaaaaaaating!"

"Are they? Well, good for you two." Marco responded pleasantly, before Star added in that "And there's an old guy as well named Ford whose their teacher and Dipper's uncle, I'm sure you'll see him at some point."

"Oh, OK." The boy answered again before turning to address the two in question. "So, you guys are paranormal investigators, or something like that? You must have hit the jackpot coming to Mewni."

"HE'S a paranormal investigator." Pacifica spoke up sassily, pointing towards Dipper. "I'm just the hapless assistant who gets dragged along for the ride."

"Now Pacifica, that isn't true." Dipper responded, taking a firm and professional tone of voice. "You are an equal and valued member of the research group, able to engage with me and Great Uncle Ford on an equal footing, and you should never feel otherwise." Then, his steady tone cracked a little as he sprung some sass of his own on her. "That of course means you are just as strange as him and I are."

Though he was smiling to himself at the sight of Dipper and Pacifica continuing to argue/flirt with each other, Marco quickly turned his attention to his girlfriend. _"Huh, that's... an interesting sensation." _He thought, mulling over the taste of the word now that it was associated with his bestie. Who was, at the moment, still practically glued to him at the hip, leaning against him over their chairs and trying to offer him more small fruit pieces, even after he deflected the last one. "Hey Star..." the boy spoke up, instantly catching the girl's attention. "...You don't need to go so over the top, okay? I mean, I'm not saying I don't appreciate all the attention, but, well, grand romantic gestures that sort of miss the point of human relationships were always more of a... me thing, you know? If we're gonna try this out, we should take things as naturally as possible, right?"

Star's expression had shifted for the nervous as Marco explained things, but she was looking more relaxed by the time he was done. "I mean, I get what you're saying Marco, but I promise, what you see is what you get, and what you're getting is aaaaaaaaaaall me!" She explained, getting a wide smile and running her hands along Marco's chest in the process, trying to get a feel for him through two layers of material. "I'm not putting on a big, affectionate love bag show in an attempt to win you over right out the gate, I've just wanted to hold you close for a long time!"

"Oh." Marco muttered quietly, winded from that remark like he'd just run a marathon. "I, uh... I didn't know. I was thinking I'd have to work my way up to that." Then, realizing what he'd just said, hastily added "I mean, not that that's the only reason I said yes! I mean, I came back to Mewni because I just missed us hanging out, talking about our problems, stuff like that. For me, all that's, well..."

"It's okay Marco." Star purred at this point, rubbing her head against his chest. "I may have been too dumb to realize it, but we've been doing the whole 'boyfriend-girlfriend' thing for awhile, when you really think about it. So, I'm more than ready to give you a little sugar."

"Wow." Breathed the Earth boy as he felt these new sensations settle into him, and found they were pretty alright. This feeling of warm contentment was abruptly replaced by warm embarrassment when a loud, fake cough echoed across the table, causing Marco and Star to realize that Dipper and Pacifica were looking straight at them, both with teasing expressions on their face. Marco was of course made immediately flustered by this and even Star blushed and opened her eyes wide in reaction, though she didn't take her head off Marco's chest.

"As I had asked you two several times already..." Pacifica spoke clearly, obviously amused by the couple in front of her. "...Dipper is absolutely the weird one between him and I, right?"

The boy in question, also amused by Star and Marco's interactions, just rolled his eyes in response and looked to the two while saying "Hey, back me up on this guys!"

"Dipper, we tried to go get friendly hamburgers once, before we were even dating, and that whole afternoon got derailed because you become convinced a newspaper dispenser was the drop off point for a cult of some kind!" Pacifica argued back.

"That newspaper dispenser was very suspicious!"

"You set the thing on fire and then ran away from the cops on what was supposed to be a friendly hamburger lunch!"

"Guys, hold on!" Star cut in abruptly. "That's not just a date thing! On the recent secret mission me and Dipper went on, he burned the building we were investigating down as well!"

"Oh wow, maybe Dipper does have a problem." Marco wondered aloud before looking at Pacifica with a comforting tone. "I do have some tips for controlling public fires I picked up over my friendship with Star. We can talk sometimes, I'll share them with you."

"I would greatly appreciate that, Marco." Answered the blond human, while the blond mewman looked at the boy in the hoodie a little perturbed, with her face only getting more cross as he spoke again.

"Although, they might not be as relevant to your case. Star tends to start fires by accident, usually as a result of trying to fill the area with rainbows, to liven things up. Rainbows that explode if gently nudged or worse."

"Hey, I have been getting better at those, particularly while you were gone!" Star said defensively, before using her wand to generate a small example of this phenomenon over the soup bowl. "See!" She said proudly, crossing her arms and closing her eyes right before the colored arch caught fire. Without missing a beat, Marco emptied his glass of water to put it out.

"So, no advice for a boyfriend that refuses to carry individual dollars?" Pacifica asked playfully.

"He can see you through every one!" Dipper shot back.

Putting a hand on his chin and making a show of being in deep thought, Marco responded with "No, but if general paranoia is your problem there was this one time, with this other foreign exchange student..."

"THAT PERSON WAS SUSPICIOUS!" Star yelled, slamming a fist on the table. "I never figured out why he was measuring you and your parents in their sleep!"

Dipper, who up until now had simply pulled his hat low to try and conceal his blushing, abruptly perked up at Star's exclamation. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, there was this weird fake foreign exchange student who came back once, he was a cannibal but he was actually a cook, he had a fake language so I blackmailed him, but he wasn't able to explain why he was measuring the Diaz family while they slept!" Star explained in a ramble, causing Marco to look at her with a shocked expression.

"Wait, wait, slow down, what!?" The boy asked, as Star's eyes widened and she abruptly realized what she'd said in front of him. "THAT'S what happened to Gustav!?" After another moment of wondering, he yelled in confusion "What do you mean you blackmailed him!?"

"That sounds worrisome Star, good handling on that guy." Dipper abruptly cut in, taking this matter completely seriously and ignoring the perplexed looks both Marco and Pacifica were sporting. "If you know where this guy lives and are up to take the scissors for a spin, we can swing by the Mystery Shack to get my listening equipment, and I'll help you bug this guy's house."

"Wait, did you say The Mystery Shack?" Marco asked, his previous frustration with Star completely dosed by bewilderment. "Little tourist trap gift shop, up in Oregon?" When Dipper and Pacifica nodded in response, equally bewildered, Marco explained that "Me and my parents stopped there once on a vacation we went on when I was... ten, eleven maybe? I remember it really well because it smelled terrible and even as a child I thought the whole thing was a bunch of garbage and was disappointed in my parents for how seriously they took the whole thing."

Dipper just slumped in his chair at this revelation, taken by severe surprise. "I can't believe you've met Grunkle Stan." He muttered in shock.

"Well, I can't believe Dipper Pines is such a good friend." Star spoke up to reenter the conversation. "I'd be happy to have you show me the ropes for properly bugging someone's house. I'd see people do it in the movies me and Marco would watch every week back on Earth, but I've never actually done it first hand!"

"Well, bugging is only half of it." Dipper responded offhand, talking about this subject like it's the most casual in the world. "The key to a good bugging is a good breaking. Specifically, you really need to not leave any evidence of you breaking and entering when you bug the place, because otherwise people will get suspicious and then they'll be looking for something to be out of place."

Marco's deadpan expression traveled between Star and Dipper a few times before her finally looked at Pacifica. "Okay, I agree with you. He's the weird one out of you two."

It wasn't even a particularly funny line, but something about how utterly dry Marco had said those words made the rest of the table, Dipper included, break out into a chuckle. Breakfast continued on from there at a light and enjoyable pace, the four finding that they all easily shared shared laughs and stories between them. Out of an entire table of good cheer however, Star Butterly was easily the happiest person among the bunch. She felt light in a way she hadn't felt in weeks, just able to quell her anxieties and relax with the boy she'd always wanted and the good friends who helped her get to him.

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

_And so it has happened! I fully realize I'll probably be overshadowed in matters of Starco by posting this chapter on this day of all days, but I've been feeling very strongly inspired for this story recently, so here you all go, a second chapter so soon after the last. I hope you all enjoyed it, and not just for the Starco really. I think all four of these characters will make for a great circle of friends. _


	10. Building Bonds

Having left his breakfast behind, Stanford Pines strode through the halls of the Mewni Royal Castle with reserved purpose to his steps. He had an appointment after all, a vaguely timed "after-breakfast" summons with the Queen of Mewni. What they'd discuss would no doubt depend on if the other members of the Magical High Commission were present or not, so Stanford elected to not spend his focus planning for the talk on the way there, knowing it's good odds he'd just end up surprised. Instead, his thoughts turned to his great nephew.

_"He's become very close to Pacifica as of recently, though they always seemed like good friends." _The old man thought to himself, pondering back to his own youth for similar examples he could relate to Dipper's, and finding none. _"I'll need to talk to him at some point about this, try to put him on the right path when it comes to matters of attraction." _Ford was musing over a few indistinct tangents of this topic when he finally arrived outside Queen Moon's office, and he swiftly stowed them away for later. A short knock was followed by a curt admittance, and the man from Earth entered the domain of the queen.

The office was much like the other times Ford had visited it, as was the monarch seated behind her fine oaken desk, though this was certainly the most papers he'd ever seen piled onto it. Moon was making some final inscriptions on one particular piece, the air filled with just the sound of a scratching quill pen for a short period after the noise of a door creaking shut faded, but eventually this fell silent. Letting out a sigh of relief, the queen pushed the paper aside and finally made eye contact with the scientist.

"Stanford." She greeted in a neutral tone, her eyes simultaneously guarded and inquisitive. Moon seemed notably more relaxed around the human scientist than she had been in all their previous encounters, but that wasn't saying much. The air was silent between for another uncertain moment, before she took the initiative of the conversation. "I would like to begin by saying thank you. I may have suspected your motives at first, but it is clear to me that the support and protection that you and your wards have extended to my daughter is very genuine. This is a trying time for her, and I appreciate that."

"It's no difficulty." Stanford responds. Like Moon, his tone is lighter in comparison to their previous conversations, but was still fairly guarded and tense sounding. "Star is a very exceptional young woman after all. She is..." He hesitated for a moment, but then decided the information he was debating giving away couldn't do any harm. It's not as if this was a potential unknown that could work its way to Bill. "...Very reminiscent of Dipper's sister. I believe that has contributed to them bonding so well."

"Oh. I see." Moon responded with a note of genuine interest. _"That explains quite a lot actually." _She then thought to herself. _"I feel a smidge bad for what I insinuated about Dipper to Star now. He's probably more threatened by her than the other way around now that I think about it..." _Clearing her head, Moon focused on the conversation in front of her by stating clearly "But, while you have earned my respect as a mother, I still have my responsibilities as a ruler. And on that front, I must know your intentions, Stanford Pines." She leveled the question while sitting straight up in her chair, hands folded together on the table in front of her. "The situation has changed significantly since your arrival: You suspect Bill Cipher is among the Lucitors, and now a diplomatic crisis between my kingdom and theirs looms. In addition, Queen Eclipsa has become free at the worst possible time in the midst of all this. So I must ask, archmage of Earth: What do you intend to do while you are here?"

Ford was quite in response, taking his time to put together a full response. When he finally did speak, it was with a measured, deliberate tone. "The primary mission of myself and my wards remains the elimination of Bill Cipher and the elimination of the weapons he brought with him to Mewni. To that end, we are willing to conduct operations against the Lucitor Kingdom in exchange for access to the intelligence and resources needed to pursue him."

"I see." Moon answered with a cautious tone of voice. She was approaching a dangerous ground in the conversation and new it, trying to speak as carefully as possible as she asked "Would it be possible to convince you to deliver the weapons that Bill is in possession of to the crown, instead of simply destroying them?"

"No, you cannot convince me to do that." Ford replied bluntly, his face slipping into the unreadable grimace that was his father's default expression, as he felt the conversation enter a dangerous direction. "I am here to prevent Bill from escalating the conflict that already exists on Mewni by introducing a smattering of weapons you are all unprepared for."

"Then help us prepare for them! Show us how these weapons work!" Moon argued, her voice rising and becoming more firm, but not yet escalating to yelling. Her net speech, however, was suddenly more subdued and expository. "You and your wards, you are much like Star in that you do not understand the threat the monsters pose. Now, not all monsters are bad, in fact some of them can be outright upstanding, but the community in general cannot be trusted." The queen explained, before stepping out of her chair and looking out the window, onto a city still showing scars of battle. "This invasion you have arrived in the aftermath of... it was not the first time Toffee has attempted to conquer Mewni. Before, decades ago, he made his first attempt. It was a much more blunt force affair, and he had an army."

Turning back to her visitor, Moon spoke with a lower, forceful tone of voice in an attempt to impress upon Stanford the gravity of what she was saying. Despite her royal facade, emotion was clearly cracking through with every word. "That army was never conclusively defeated, simply bloodlessly routed after Toffee was... disgraced. They fled to the far corners of Mewni and melted into the existing monster settlements. Patrols and hunts were organized but the results were minimal. The authority of the Monster King, once a prominent restraining influence upon their population, was revoked due to the fact that his court was no doubt infested with survivors." Now, Moon looked back at the window, furtive eyes glaring past her castle, into the horizon. "They are out there, Stanford. Experienced veterans of the Monster War, weapons buried in backyards or hidden in the wood panels of barns. If the monster community as a whole is given an inch, they will rise up once again to devour the Kingdom of Mewni, seeking to sate their instinctual battle lust. And I will never allow Mewni to be unprepared for their predation!"

Ford kept his expression steady in the face of this speech, feeling grateful for the light reflecting off his glasses that obscured the details of his eyes. While outwardly the man was as calm as ever, on the inside old memories were bringing up fresh turmoil. _"Is that why those children had to die, Queen of Mewni?" _Ford thought to himself. _"Were those farmers the remains of the monster army as well, waiting to rise up?" _However, he did an expert job concealing his emotions, and began to draw on the social lessons he'd learned from his brother. "Unfortunately, it simply isn't my choice. I am subject to rules, just as you are Queen Moon."

"I beg your pardon?" Moon asked, seeming genuinely surprised by this. As she fell for it, Ford remembered back to this specific lesson. _"Rule sticklers always buy other rule sticklers!" _Is what Stanley had said in the relevant lesson.

"Do you believe I invented the means to travel between dimensions purely by myself? From _scraps?_" Ford asked, ignoring the fact that this is exactly what he did. "I am part of a scientific institution Queen Moon. No scientific project can get very far without funding and networking, and in exchange for providing that the institute has very strict rules about our experiments. The number one rule of the dimensional science initiative, our, uh, Prime Directive you might say..." Ford explained fraudulently, unable to resist slipping in a small reference. "...Is to not permanently compromise other dimensions with objects from Earth, including everything from electronics to weapons. We are trying to study the natural state of the multiverse, after all. Now, allowances can be made in the interest of defeating Bill and other threats to earth, but what you are asking of me would be an unambiguous violation of all my codes and traditions."

"I see." Moon answered, her tone indicating that she would accept these reasons even if she wasn't happy about them. Ford gave his brother a silent thanks as the queen then changed the subject. "So what does all that mean for your interactions with Eclipsa? I trust I do not have to be concerned with the possibility you may... meddle, in her trial?"

"Eclipsa... intrigues me, I will admit, though purely in an intellectual sense. She's a mysterious subject about which seemingly little accurate historical data exists." Ford explained, stepping carefully and this time, sticking mainly to the truth. "However, provided she remains as she is currently, ie unconnected to Bill Cipher, then she is not a primary concern of mine. Should the efforts of the Magical High Commission turn up valid evidence that she is legitimately guilty of being, as you say, evil..." He continued, casting a bit of disdain upon the simplistic terminology. "...Then I will accept the ruling of the court, whatever it may be. I am a scientist after all, Queen Moon. And the most important thing a scientist must understand is that their opinions must change to meet the facts, and to not change the facts to meet their own opinions."

Moon seem satisfied by this answer, though not necessarily happy with it. "Then, I believe the working relationship between your group and the Kingdom of Mewni will continues harmoniously. As a matter of fact, I can actually provide you with something of use right now." She explained, while passing a small pile of papers over the desk to Ford. "Those are summary files on previous demon smugglers who were caught providing weapons to monsters. Obviously all this information was gathered before we knew the truth, but for the moment it is all we have on the activities of these smugglers. Perhaps it can be of some use."

"Thank you Queen Moon, I'll examine this right away." He thanked while folding the paper into a coat pocket.

"Then, if there is nothing else?" Moon asked, attempting to bring the conversation to an end.

"Actually, there is one more matter I wish to discuss." Ford spoke up abruptly, managing to trigger a look of slight surprise on Moon's face. "If you would indulge me, your majesty, I'd like to collect skin samples from your arms."

"I beg your pardon!?" Moon responded in a scandalized tone, taken aback by this request.

Ignoring this reaction entirely, Ford pressed straight into an explanation. "I believe I can perform a test on those samples that could possibly reveal the source of Eclipsa's signature dark magic, divine some of its nature. I would, of course, be willing to submit the test results to the Magical High Commission for use as potential evidence in her trial." After a moment of quiet, Ford then admitted "I know I said she's not my concern, but call it a hunch. Thee test I'm considering is fairly simple and, well, it would help me pass the time until more information on Bill emerges."

Moon considered this in silence for almost a minute, a conflicting combination of thoughts bouncing around in her head, competing with each other to guide her actions. _"Giving anyone a chance to learn more about dark magic is a risk, but if the right results come back this could let us easily convict Eclipsa!" _On the outside, the Queen's brow furrowed. _"Remember the incantation Moon. This power... it flows from somewhere dark, somewhere evil. If a definitive source could be found and identified..."_

"Very well." The Queen stated simply, removing one of her gloves in a dignified fashion and clearing out a section of desk to lay it down upon. "But you will deliver the results to me as soon as they are available."

"Of course, your majesty." Ford responded while removing his sampling kit from inside his coat. His first action was to swab down a section of skin with a disinfectant before he set to work. "You may experience some momentary discomfort."

* * *

Earlier and elsewhere, the four teenagers who stayed to enjoy their breakfast eventually finished the food and split their separate ways. Star and Marco were currently heading towards the old rose garden. "You know Star, I've got a really good feeling about your new friends. I mean, Dipper freaks me out a little bit but he's still nowhere near as bad as Janna and Pacifica seems pretty nice." The boy said in an attempt to make small talk. Star had said there was something she wanted to show him in this old section of garden, and for the moment he was content to follow where she led.

"You should be grateful to them Marco, they really helped me sort out my feelings." Star replied, both her arms wrapped around the boy's left as she finally brought him an ordinary looking bench in a shaded, isolated section of the garden. "Now, have a seat Diaz."

"Okay, okay." Marco responded in good spirits, recognizing Star's tone of voice as the one she used when she was determined to make him have fun, one way or the other. After being seated, he shifted uncomfortably a little on the old stone. "So, is this some sort of... magic bench? Is it gonna take us on a crazy trip to some world of war where we become magical mercenaries?"

"Nope! It's just an ordinary, uncomfortable stone bench!" Star exclaimed with the enthusiasm of someone delivering life changing good news. Then, she fluttered to a seat besides Marco. "Until now! Now it's magic!" She said, the last word delivered with a fluttering whisper then asked playfully "Can you guess why it's magic now, Marco Diaz?"

"I don't know Star, it still feels pretty uncomfortable and made out of stone to me." Replied the boy from Earth, deliberately playing along with a coy tone. "I give up, tell me why it's magic?"

"Because now there's a magic GIRL sitting on it!" Star exclaimed, while throwing her arms up in the air in celebration. "And not just any girl, oh no, it's your magical girlfriend from another dimension!" The princess continued to use the tone of an eager game show host from Earth, causing Marco to giggle, but for her next line the girl opted to use a much more husky tone that made Marco suddenly stop and swallow. "And this magical girlfriend wants to make. out. wiiiiiiiiith... you!" Star explained, punctuating her last word by poking her boyfriend's nose.

Suddenly, the jokey, easygoing atmosphere that was highly reminiscent of his strong friendship with Star evaporated to be replaced by the strange and frightening but exciting world of romantic tension for Marco. Despite the fact that they made him nervous enough to bring out a stutter and dampen his palms with sweat, Marco had no desire to turn away Star's advances, he simply was uncertain about how to properly receive them.

"Alright, okay then. We're not, uh, going too fast are we?" He asked with a little confusion, but none the less reached forward and connected his lips to Star's, the two quickly closing their eyes and leaning into the kiss before they separated. The mewman girl was openly grinning at the kiss they had shared, and while the human boy was a little more bewildered looking, his face had a warm glow to it and the corners of his mouth were turned upwards.

However, his hesitation did seem to give Star pause, as she held herself back from kissing him again. "I mean, I'm not, I've been ready to go for at least a month, but, if you're not, we can stop."

"No, no, it's not like that! If you're comfortable, I'm comfortable, I just didn't want to, you know, be pushy." Marco explained, doing his best to look Star in the eyes with a warm expression to set her at ease. "I mean, my dating experience is hardly, you know, expansive or anything, but, well, before, things didn't advance this fast, and I don't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable."

Star knew it was petty, but she couldn't help but feel her heart spike as Marco inadvertently compared her to Jackie in a matter where, from Star's perspective, she had come out on top. With a surge of confidence glowing through her body and a fluttering heart at Marco's kind concern for her, the blond princess leaned in close and put her mouth right next to Marco's ear, so she could whisper her next line to him with inviting confidence. "Well, that's good to her, but don't worry Marco. All I want to do right now is show you a good time."

Marco's face got even redder now, and he was suddenly aware of the fact that Star was close enough to him that she could easily shift forward and be sitting on his lap with a very small movement of her body. However, the hypersensitivity this situation brought to both their sets of senses resulted in both of them seizing up when the sound of a twig snapping hit both their ears.

"Star dearie, is that you lurking in the rose bushes? Have you come by to visit me again?" Called out the posh voice of Queen Eclipsa, having an idle wander through the gardens as a way to pass the time. When she eventually rounded the corner to see the bench the two were seated in, Star and Marco were on opposite sides of the bench, as far away from each other as possible, both blushing brightly and not looking at each other.

"Oh thank corn Eclipsa it's just you." Star said with a sigh of relief as soon as they saw who their visitor actually was. "I was scared you were my mom for a second."

"Uh, Star? Who is this?" Marco asked, getting the impression right away that this was someone important based on her confident stance and distinctive cheek marks.

"Oh dear, did I interrupt something? My sincerest apologies." Eclipsa said with a genuine sounding tone to her voice. After running her eyes over Marco a few times and analyzing the situation in full, she got a playful little grin on her face and asked "So Star, is this the wild flower you and I talked about last time we met?"

While Marco looked confused at this comment, Star was rapidly climbing off the bench and pulling him with her. "Well, yes, but we'll have to do the formal introductions later, me and Marco need to be somewhere else right now!"

"No we don't..."

"Marco then! That's a very pleasant name, it's good to meet you." Eclipsa responded. "Please, don't let me delay you then. I was just out for a little stroll."

Abruptly, Star froze in place and turned an inquisitive eye towards the prisoner queen. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be under house arrest?"

"House arrest!?"

"Well, yes, but I really needed another good stroll through the rose garden. It's quite nice here you know, good for enjoying yourself far away from judgmental eyes." Eclipsa admitted honestly, then added with a bit of cheek, added "I won't tell if you won't tell."

Blushing slightly brighter now, Star quickly responded "Deal." before grabbing Marco again and pulling him towards an exit to the garden. "C'mon Marco! I've got something else to show you!"

"But, wait, Star!" The boy implored, to no avail. "Is this some kind of dangerous criminal or something that we should be dealing with right now?" He asked, trying to gesture towards Eclipsa, who was simply waving goodbye to the two of them.

"Nah, just a bunch of political junk, I'm sure we can leave her here." Star explained dismissively, and the two shortly after left the old section of garden behind completely.

* * *

Elsewhere in the castle, Dipper and Pacifica were traveling back to their room, each carrying an armful of books. After breakfast the two had gone right to the royal library, intending to learn more about the newest set of players in the hunt for Bill Cipher: The Kingdom of Lucitor.

"From my previous readings, I know that the Lucitors and the Ponyheads became military and economic allies of Mewni through the work of Jushtin during his post-rulership diplomatic service, but aside from that the books I'd read before didn't offer much insight into what they're, you know, really like." Pacifica explained as she and Dipper walked side by side. "Hopefully this new bunch of books has some more specific information that might help us hunt down Bill."

"I was surprised to learn they call themselves demons." Dipper admitted. Pacifica looked a little quizzical, so he explained further that "Well, it had sort of been Grunkle Ford's hypothesis that a lot of earth's superstition developed out of supernatural encounters, either from this world or others, that people didn't understand fully. So, under that idea, the word 'demon' would have been used to describe dangerous supernatural creatures that could have had dozens of sources, but all get described with the same word, but nope, they call themselves that." Then, with a distant look to his eyes, Dipper's thoughts began to run wild as he muttered in wonder. "Maybe earth got the word demon from them, but then went around and misapplied it to other supernatural encounters they had later..."

Pacifica let her boyfriend work through his thoughts for a minute with a smile on her face, as they were now standing outside the door to their quarters, but eventually her arms began to hurt from holding up the books and she had to break his train of thought. "Hey, Dipper." She spoke up, instantly causing his focus to snap to her. "Be a gentleman and open the door up for your lady?" The blond asked in a playful tone.

Blushing slightly, Dipper answered with a nervous but sincere "Oh, uh, sure thing!" before thoughtlessly placing his pile of books on top of Pacifica's, almost causing her to drop the whole collection as the sudden, surprising weight made her knees buckle for a moment while Dipper dutifully opened the door. "Please, after you!" He said with a cheesy but nervous grin while holding the door opened, and ended up looking mildly confused when Pacifica shuffled past him with a mild scowl on her face.

Soon enough, the books had been set down and the two humans had settled in to do their reading. They moved between books quickly, seeking out relevant sections and passages instead of reading cover to cover. As time passed, piles of paper built up around the room as the two humans gradually painted themselves a portrait of the realm of demons, out of the disparate literature at their disposal.

"So, they're definitely not demons the way Bill is a demon, right?" Pacifica spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between her and Dipper as the two settled in to do their work. As he looked up at her from the other end of the couch the two were sharing, the blond elaborated. "I mean, they are physical enough that they've got anatomical illustrations in some of these books and dead demons are mentioned from time to time without it sounding like it was something unusual."

"Well, the common people of the Underworld, no, based on stuff like that I think they're just a sort of high magic species, but their royal family I'm not sure." Dipper responded, then quickly added "The old royal family that is, not sure if you came across any mention of them with what you were reading..."

"Oh no worries, I know exactly what you mean." Pacifica affirmed quickly enough, before taking a sort of dramatic air. "The sires and patrons of the Underworld, the great family of demon emperors who created the kingdom as the pure, perfect spawn of Asmodeus himself, and ruled in perpetuity, forever be their infernal glory." Then, the Northwest snorted derisively, before remarking sarcastically "Shame they're all dead now."

"Not all of them." Dipper corrected gently, while pulling up a genuine historical artifact off the cart, a preserved public flier preserved in wrap deeper within the library. The parchment was thick and sturdy, but had still been frayed around the edges by the passage of time. Filling in the space was a large amount of demonic script, framed by stylized bordering and reverently placed below an artistic rendering of a large demon woman. "Queen Wrathmelior, the smallest and youngest child of the last pure blooded King of the Underworld. The only survivor of the royal family descending into a paranoid personal conflict that wiped out the entire lineage over the course of one month." For the last sentence, Dipper's cynical tone of voice conveyed that he didn't quite believe that official story.

Pacifica, for her part, shared her boyfriend's suspicion, and was quite quick to vocalize it as well. "Yeah, I got to that, recognized her from the party even. A real photogenic lady, provided she's posing for _Weekly World News. _Anyways, less than a month after the entire lineage is wiped out in an unexpected struggle for power and she's the only survivor, Wrathmelior marries a Mewman out of nowhere. Not even a rich one! They apparently just met in a library or something..." Now looking right at Dipper, she added in a more serious tone that "I'm shocked his regime managed to survive that kind of cover story."

"It makes more sense than you might think, to someone whose been conditioned by life in a totalitarian theocracy, at least. Wrathmelior is part of that perfect lineage of Asmodeus, so if she says that's how it happened, that's how it happened. Plus, it makes a sort of sense that the only thing that could kill perfect demons is other perfect demons." The boy explained, putting his book down to meet Pacifica's gaze as they slid a little closer to each other. "Of course, I'm more skeptical and think these great demons probably weren't as great as they were made out to be. Maybe they have some weakness King Dave managed to figure out... Did you find out anything about that guy? I've got nothing."

"No, it seems like he just walked into the pages of history when he met Wrathmelior." Pacifica responded with a hint of disappointment to her voice. "I don't think he's a Mewman stooge though." She added offhandedly, and when Dipper looked a little surprised at this, she elaborated, knowing the boy well enough to be able to tell when he wanted more. "As much sense as it makes to figure that the magic wand was what made his coup possible, Dave came to the throne early into Moon's reign, meaning she would have been the one who backed him and planned things, but she didn't react like she had this sort of intimate knowledge of his dirty secrets when she found out he is arming monsters. Plus, I got the impression that these deals go way back to the early days of his reign, and it seems improbable that the Mewmans would lose control of their asset THAT quickly."

Dipper beamed at his girlfriend with pride in response to her political deduction, and Pacifica felt uplifted by his obvious confidence in her. They scooted a little closer together. "Still, it seems unlikely he could have done all that by himself... If Mewni wasn't backing him, maybe he bargained with Bill for power? Traded over something for knowledge of a dark spell that instantly kills this super resilient life form? Would explain how he got his foot in the door for the arms industry..." Dipper mused aloud.

"Potentially. What if it's the other way around though?" Pacifica wondered back before digging for a specific book she had marked with a particular color of sticky note. "What if the pure demon royal family were Bill's pawns somehow, and Dave destroyed them, so now Bill has infiltrated the Underworld's arms industry to set Dave up for destruction?" By then, she'd found the book she was looking for and began opening towards the right pages. "These portraits look a lot like some of those goons Bill had with them, don't they? Maybe the Underworld is where he got them." Holding the book up so Dipper could see it, Pacifica first gestured to a portrait of a demon diplomat reproduced in between the pages who had a strong, though not identical, resemblance to the Henchmaniac 8-Ball, though in possession of normal eyeballs and wearing a dapper Victorian suit and top hat. Then, Pacifica flipped a couple of pages to show what was presumably a female demon, who like Pyronica had horns and a singular eye, though in this instance she was wearing a fairly normal looking Edwardian era style dress, that happened to be burning with blue flames while smiling at her painter.

"Also a very real possibility, good thinking Pacifica." Dipper responded while furiously writing away on a fresh sheet of paper, having realized midway through Pacifica's hypothesizing that all their ideas would need to be written down, and so was now struggling to fill in the last few minutes of conversation before it was lost to fickle memory. The blond at first smiled at being complemented, but after a moment of watching his boyfriend scribe at a furious pace, she got a small frown on her face.

"Dipper, take your hat off. You don't need it in here and it's just going to make sweat build up on your forehead." She told the boy, speaking softly but easily conveying through tone that this wasn't a request.

Dipper seemed to deliberately ignore his new girlfriend for a second, but Pacifica knew him well enough by now to simply wait patiently for a few moments, and just before enough time had passed to make her feel actually uncomfortable, Dipper dutifully set his paper and pencil aside, having reached a point in his note taking where it would be easy to resume his work. Looking firmly at his new girlfriend, the boy from Earth asked "Hey, what brought this on? You concerned about my scalp all of a sudden?"

He had said that with a cracked eyebrow and a jokey tone of voice, trying to play things off with humor, but Pacifica stayed insistent. "We're inside Dipper. You should have taken that off at the door. A hour ago." She explained in a critical voice, but then added, in a softer tone "And, uh, if your head is all sweaty I'm not going to run my hand through your hair likeivebeenthinkingaboutdoing." Midway through that sentence, Pacifica seemed to get embarrassed and looked away as her words turned to muttering.

Blushing now, Dipper felt motivated enough to reach up and take the hat off, even though he felt an almost gravitational pull trying to put it back on his head. The pine tree decorated cap did come off before the boy held it close to his chest. _"I got this hat at the same time as I first felt my true destiny in Gravity Falls, and I've kept it with me through thick and thin. It's sort of a comforting symbol of the strange world I live in." _He thought to himself, looking down at the piece of headgear he was holding close.

After a moment though, he abruptly scrunched his eyebrows up and wondered what the heck he was talking about. _"It's a HAT Dipper" _He could hear his brain talking to him. _"You take it off all the time. Now hurry up and get us that physical contact!" _

With a dismissive posture, Dipper swiftly removed the hat from his chest and tossed it onto the nearest chair, where it landed on some books. He went from wondering what that was all about to feeling the aching need to push the hat over his head again as soon as he looked back at Pacifica though, abruptly feeling uncomfortable and a little unkempt in her presence.

For her part, Pacifica was looking at Dipper with a very guarded, neutral expression, which while it didn't make the boy feel any better, it also didn't make him feel any worse. After a second of observation though, Pacifica leaned forward and said "You shouldn't feel bad about your birthmark Dipper." While doing so, she combed back some of his hair with her hand to make the constellation visible.

The flush of heat and discomfort Dipper felt as a result of this instantly confirmed the source of his previously vague and uncertain feelings of shyness and discomfort. A dozen excuses jumped into his mind for use in this situation, but the strange feeling of forcing his insecurities came over the boy as he took a gulp. Feeling like this was something he could say to his new girlfriend, Dipper quietly spoke that "I know I shouldn't, but it's hard Pacifica. Just knowing people can see it makes me feel bad inside in a way I can't control."

Pacifica's gaze lowered, locking eyes with Dipper and giving him a soft, compassionate expression that he wouldn't have believed could possibly live on her face back when they had first met. _"It still is sort of a rare expression from her, I must admit." _He thought candidly to himself. _"But I guess that just makes it sort of special. I'm one of the only people who gets to experience it."_

"I know it isn't easy to just... get over something like that, but try to remember you never need to feel bad around me and Ford." Pacifica replied comfortingly, while wrapping her arms around his body in a sort and warm embrace. Closing his eyes and feeling at peace, Dipper returned the hug while smiling softly. After a long moment wherein the two slowly cuddled even closer together, Pacifica added that "...And for your information, I think it's cute."

Dipper's eyes opened in surprise in response to that, but seeing as the girl he loved was still curled up against his body, hugging him with her eyes closed, the boy decided to not make a fuss in response to this and closed his eyes in turn to focus on the feeling. Neither were sure how much time had passed as both faded into the sensation of their body heats becoming one and each person's heartbeat becoming a comfortable rhythm traveling into the other's body, but they were both enjoying it a great deal.

All good things have their ends however, and in this case the two from Earth had their hugging session ended when the door to the room abruptly slammed shut, causing them both to snap out of the mutual haze they were in and look towards the doorway, while clinging each other tighter.

Standing by the entrance and having slammed the door shut out of surprise was Stanford, returning from his meeting with the queen and looking uncharacteristically flustered and uncertain. Both teens did momentarily relax as they realized it wasn't any sort of danger, but quickly felt embarrassment in the place of concern and began to untangle themselves from each other. Without saying a word, Ford turned around to leave the room but abruptly caught himself, muttering "What am I doing, I've been meaning to talk to them about this!" before turning around again, walking up to the couch they were on, and sitting on a nearby chair (after removing the books from it) so he could look at the two, who were now seated side by side. Putting his fingers together and thinking it over for a moment, Ford asked his question in the most direct way possible. "Are you two dating?"

Dipper almost never felt any sort of overtly negative emotion about his mentor, but thirty seconds into this conversation and a stab of awkwardness was traveling up his body as the teenager wished his great uncle would just leave him and Pacifica alone. Despite that, when he spoke up, it was in the same respectful but casually comfortable tone Dipper normally used with his great uncle. "Yes. Yes we are dating." He said, causing both teenagers to heat up slightly.

"It's really recent though. Like, we started dating here on Mewni recent!" Pacifica added with a flustered tone of voice.

In response, Ford pursed his lips and considered the two of them, a troubled and indecisive look on his face. Finally, he tersely asked the two "Have you considered doing otherwise?"

"What... what do you mean great uncle Ford?"

"What I mean is, well, romantic relationships are very time consuming, mentally taxing, and can a severe effect on both parties when they go wrong." Ford explained. Instead of the usual highly composed and strongly certain attitude the old man normally carried when explaining a topic, now he was slightly nervous and clearly at something of a loss. "I think it would be better, for both of you, if you put these feelings aside and focused on science at your ages."

Both teenagers were looking off put and nervous at this point, exchanging a reassuring glance before Pacifica asked "Doctor Pines, have you ever been in love before?" Dipper turned his head around again to look at Pacifica with a look of surprise for just diving into Grunkle Ford's painful past like that, but when the senior scientist spoke up, his voice was remarkably unbothered and expository.

"No, not really." He explained simply. "Stanley got me involved in girl hunting schemes a few times back in high school, but he was the driving force behind those and I was mostly hoping it would make me more popular. When I was in college I was too busy for any kind of romance, and once I was living by myself in Gravity Falls, well... the idea had occurred to me a few times that I could go out and try to find a girl, but it was just never interesting enough to motivate me to leave my work. I'd mull it over while eating a meal or something like that, but by the time I was done I'd decide I wanted to go back to whatever experiment I was working on more." Then, Ford's tone darkened over a little, though he kept talking in a detached tone of voice. "Then, while I was in the portal, there were... a few encounters, but they never lasted very long and I always had some kind of ulterior motive."

It of course went without saying that his love life after returning from the multiverse was similarly non-existent, which Dipper knew due to having been at Ford's side since the moment he came out of the portal. Everyone was quiet for an awkward minute, thoughts mulling through all their minds, before the younger man was the first to speak up. "Great Uncle Ford, I want you to know that while I still respect your considerable personal knowledge, I think you're wrong about this." His voice was nervous, but completely lacking in uncertainty. "I feel very strongly about Pacifica and I don't think I can simply will those feelings away. When I'm with her I feel calm inside and happy with myself, and I think we'll only be getting stronger from being together, and that trying to shut these feelings down would be the course of action that would be distracting." After saying this, Dipper looked over his shoulder again, hoping for confirmation or approval from Pacifica, wondering if she felt the same way.

He got it right away. "Dipper is one of the few things that makes me feel stable in life Doctor Pines. When I'm... just, with him, everything seems clear and I know what I need to do, most of the time." The girl explained, while wrapping her arms around the boy's chest from behind. "I don't want to ruin his intellect or anything by distracting him, it's one of the things I find most attractive about him, but I don't really think us dating would do that, because yeah, I think we make each other stronger like this."

Dipper bent his neck back to look at his girlfriend with a soft, content smile on his face. "You're right Paz, you know that, right? You're an inspiration to me, in a lot of ways."

Looking a little flustered now, Pacifica quickly turned her head to the side before looking far to closely at her nails. "Hey, don't be talking like that, I'm the one whose supposed to be inspired by you, remember?" She said while trying to sound dismissive, but soon enough had met Dipper's gaze with a soft look of her own. "...You're the one who helped me to be a better person, after all..."

Ford had simply been sitting there and observing this process, and only spoke up again after the two spent several long moments of just looking at each other instead of talking. "So, I presume you two want to keep dating each other then?" He asked, in a very neutral tone of voice. The teenagers shared an anxious look, but soon turned back to Ford and nodded their heads in the affirmative, worried but resolute. After taking in this answer for a few moments and waiting to make sure they weren't going to say anything else, Ford simply stood up from his chair in a casual sort of manner. "Well, I guess that's that then. If you'll excuse me, I have a small test to run."

Dipper and Pacifica looked at each other in surprise, having expected something angrier to have come out of all this, but now they were left just sitting together on the couch. "So, wait, Doctor Pines..." the blond human asked of their older mentor, who was scattering scientific equipment across the room's table. "...Are you saying you, well, approve?"

"No, but I don't disapprove either. It's quite clear to me all this is beyond my field of expertise." Ford explained while turning around to face the couple again, a small smile on his face. "But... more than anything else, I trust Dipper's judgement, and now yours by extension Pacifica, and the two of you are clearly more knowledgeable on the relevant facts than I am. After all, I have very little practical experiences with the finer aspects of romance, but you two are clearly off to an advanced start. If Dipper tells me you two being together will make you both stronger, than I am inclined to believe him."

The two teenagers got very bright faces at Stanford's high praise and the fact they were going to continue dating. "However!" He spoke up after moment, teasingly wagging a finger at the two. "I may re-evaluate my position if it seems this is all too distracting for you two. You are conducting very important work after all, and speaking of which, I need you to deliver something to the princess for me while I conduct an experiment here." He explained, while scrawling a note and handing it off to his apprentice. As they turned to leave, his face got a little more serious, almost parental in expression. "And, children... Be safe with each other."

"Of course Great Uncle Ford, we'll get it to her right away!" Dipper spoke up in an eager to please and enthusiastic tone of voice, though he quickly became flush at Stanford's second statement. He was quick to take the other human teenager by the hand and head for the door. "C'mon Pacifica!"

Ford watched the two leave with an inscrutable expression of his face, but once the room to the door slammed shut his expression cracked a little into a smile. "Well, if it makes you happy Dipper..." he said quietly and wistfully, before setting back into grim determination over the course of setting up the experiment. First came the gloves and safety goggles, then he set out making a place to work.

When the work table was ready, the notes the two teenagers had filled it with had been cleared off, courteously kept together and organized just the way Ford had found them but on the other side of the room. A glass beaker sat on a metal wire mesh spread across a ring stand, the water inside the glass bubbling up, heated by the Bunsen burner running beneath it, which in turn was fed by a rubber hose connected to a portable gas container. As the water reached a steady boil, Stanford opened a small container of ash from an evergreen tree and used it to draw a circle around the base of the burner on the desk, then added a straight line to the top and bottom of the circle, completing the stabilizing sigil.

"A little bit of urea 40%, some demecolcine, and a touch of silver powder..." Muttered Ford to himself as he added the ingredients in question to the boiling beaker from a trunk of alchemical ingredients he'd briefly gone back to Earth for shortly after Star's testing by the MHC, before reaching into his coat and preparing the key ingredient. The blackened flakes of skin collected from Queen Moon's arm were gently sprinkled into the bubbling concoction, and soon enough the heat and chemicals were doing their work while the old scientist paid close attention, note pad and pencil in hand.

On the molecular level, the membranes and cytoskeletons of the skin cells were being broken down, causing the dark essence to be released from inside them. Inside the clear, boiling liquid solution, a thicker, more sludge like material was precipitating behind the glass, the volume of it seemingly exceeding the volume of the skin cells it was flowing out of, though not enough to overrun the container. "Deep arcane residue, just like I thought." Ford mused to himself, jotting this down. "If it was a simple case of arcane radiation burns inflicting biological decay, Moon would have lost the use of those arms a long time ago."

Turning off the heat source once the dark magic mass stopped expanding, Ford took several pictures of his experiment before moving to the next step. Reaching deep into his alchemy trunk, the six fingered scientist cleared a small clump of rainbow colored hair from a well sealed container and laid it on the desk, then set up a small, right triangle wooden block next to the clump. Working gingerly and with the protection of both gloves and a long pair of tweezers, Ford removed some of the long dormant dark magic ooze, and placed it on top of the wooden block. Gravity took over, and soon the black viscous was steadily rolling down the object, right towards the hair clump.

Ford sat poised with his notepad, analyzing the setup with all possible focus. He had checked it a dozen times in less than a minute, the rolling ooze he'd collected from Queen Moon's skin was on a slow but certain collision course with the sample of unicorn hair he'd placed in its path. The viscosity of the sample made for slow going, but there was no way around it. Any second now, it would flow directly onto the brightly colored mane trimmings...

At the moment of truth, it jumped. Against all laws of physics, specifically the ones pertaining to momentum and gravity, the rolling black liquid seemed to avert course and flow around the clump of unicorn hair, despite there being nothing in its way, be it physical or kinetic. It was almost as if there was a physical stopbank redirecting the flow to leave the hair spotless, but of course, no such thing physically exist. As the liquid dark magic leveled out on the flat surface it gradually stopped moving and settled in, but still would not come close to the little mound of mane, forming a perfect circle around it instead.

Ford was scribbling notes rapidly at this point, having already filmed the entire process as it happened. When he felt he had no more left to write down, the elder Pines returned to his trunk, went through the process of opening the secret compartment, and removed a glass bottle from inside. Despite the glass being completely wrapped over with sturdy black tape, a faint yellow light seemed to shine from inside.

_"Months of work..." _Ford thought to himself, taking half a second to consider the possibilities. _"It took us months to collect this small amount. Tapping ley lines, diffusion collection experiments, soil sampling, water purifying, all timed around the exacting calculations derived from the scanner's rough estimations of the Arcane Dynamo's strange fluctuations." _He recollected, but his decision was already made.

Donning an old style gas mask, Ford popped the bottle open, and gently dripped some of the brilliant yellow liquid kept inside it onto an sturdy rag, his eyes briefly dazzling at the sight from behind the circular glass before his gloved hands went to work. The dampened cloth was rubbed against the dark magic spilled against the table, the two creating an eerie hiss on contact, but as the rag moved along it left nothing behind it but clear, unvarnished table.

Once the dark magic scattered on the table was cleared up, Ford took the remainder of bottle and poured it directly into his glass beaker, which had by now cooled off completely. The two reacted strongly to each other at first, gold and black swirling around and seeming ready to boil over, but at a the critical moment to burst both just seemed to fizzle out and fade away, leaving behind a container with nothing but slightly viscous water inside.

After giving the desk a twice over to make sure the experiment was completely neutralized, Ford left some sage to burn before collapsing into the nearest chair, gradually discarding all his safety equipment while completing his notes for the experiment. When it was all finally done, he leaned back in his chair and pinched the space between his eyes, feeling overwhelmed. "Eclipsa..." He wondered aloud. "Just what is she, and what is she up to?"

Ford felt trapped, surrounded on all sides by people he couldn't trust, Dipper and Pacifica being the only ones he could rely on, and to make things worse, he had no leads and no clues on how to begin escaping this situation at the moment. "Our best chance is Star, provided the kids can get her looking at this the right way." Ford thought aloud, his mind working a mile a minute for an alternative way forward, but nothing came. _"I'm simply going to have to wait to hear from Princess Butterfly, and who knows how long that could take."_

Dismayed at the process of having nothing to do while being weighed down by these thoughts and worries, Ford scanned the room for anything to distract himself with, and found his eyes settling on the magic containing bottle, which was now just empty glass wrapped in tape. _"Unless..." _The man thought to himself, before getting up to retrieve the bottle and then sitting back down again. Holding one eye up to the opening, Ford's expression changed to pleasant surprise.

There, sitting along the grooved bottom of the bottle, were a few small droplets of magic, still shinning with a golden light.

Checking one last time that his notes were complete before he set them aside somewhere safe, Ford set himself into the chair and made himself comfortable. Then, he tipped the bottle bottom's up and let the sweet sensation of magic rush over his senses. Behind his glasses, Ford's eyes began to shine and glimmer with a sort of youthful exuberance that had left his eyes long before he'd stopped being a youth.

* * *

Elsewhere in the castle, an ornate table for two had been set up in an out of the way little window room, draped with the finest table cloth and covered with fine ceramic plates and cups. After seeing Marco off to a guest room last night, Star had spent a few hours refreshing herself on the various Mewman courting practices she'd slept through her mother's lectures about.

_"It all needs to be PERFECT!" _Star thought to herself as she gently pushed a teacup a few inches over the table, giving it a long, troubled look to try and figure out if she liked it there. _"If I'm really going to make him my boyfriend, for good, I near more than just crazy wahoo friendship thursday antics. I need to engage Marco on HIS level!" _She thought to herself, feeling like her logic was perfect while neurotically moving the tea cup right back where it had been. _"And that means a perfectly planned, orderly tea date!"_

The door to the room opened, causing Star to whirl around in eager surprise, but it was only the servant who had set all this up, bearing the freshly made pot of tea needed to complete the table. Marco himself wasn't here at the moment, breakfast had caught up with him and he needed to use the restroom before sitting down to drink something else. "Thank you for setting this up, you're dismissed." Star said to them in a polite but rushed tone of voice.

"Of course princess. Cleaners will be here in three hours to stow all of this. I trust you'll be done by then?" The maid asked, and got a dismissive wave from Star in response. "Enjoy your Song Day sweetheart, your majesty." the domestic servant added cheekily before shutting the door behind her and leaving Star alone.

"Okay, alright!" Star breathed in and out, clearly stressed, while taking her place at the table to wait. "My boyfriend is going to come through that door any minute now, and we're going to have a nice orderly date. It is NOT going to get a little weird, it is NOT going to get a little wild, we're just going to have a nice, safe time, just like Marco Diaz likes to enjoy!"

Just as soon as this proclamation had been made, the pot of tea began to quiver in place, instantly catching Star's eye. Knocking off the top lid and jumping free was a small, horned imp with green hair and a blue cap uniform on. Star seemed genuinely stunned with surprise, while the little imp brushed themselves off like nothing about this was weird. "Hello and congratulations!" She greeted enthusiastically. "Today is the day you have delivered a very special message!"

Out in the hallways, Marco was walking back to the room with his head lowered, lost in thought and walking a little slower than he could have been to give himself more time to think. _"Man, how did I even get here?" _He asked himself in confusion the apex of his recent thoughts. _"I came here broken up, wanting to go on adventures and see the multiverse again, but within a day me and Star are dating!" _He stopped for a second, and tried to spot his own reflection in one of the windows. _"I didn't plan for any of this, didn't hope for something like this to happen, but somehow it feels so right, despite everything that's messed up about it."_

He spent a long moment looking at his own reflection in that glass, paying no attention to the Mewman vista beyond it. When he was done thinking his situation through, Marco saw a determined look flash over his own face and gave himself a nod of the head. "Right, listening to my brain hasn't helped me so far. It led me in circles, and caused me to hurt people. I'm gonna let my heart guide me and my feelings show me the way from here!" He announced, then in a reserved tone, added "Just handle things like Star does Diaz."

"I've arrived to deliver an Apologram to one Star Butterfly and a Threatnagram for one Marco Diaz!" It explained. Star continued to sit stone still from shock. Reaching under her heat to pull out a pair of sealed envelopes, the imp continued with "They both arrive today courtesy of a Tom Lucitor, who sends these with his warmes-ACK!"

Mention of the prince's name had finally got Star to react, as she picked up the delivery imp in one hand by squishing their whole body in her palm, walking over to the nearest window, opening it up and throwing the courier out. "Nope. Nope nope nope nooooooooope nope nope, NO!" Star muttered the whole walk over. "I am not dealing with this today."

"Hey Star, I'm back!" Came Marco's cheery voice from a different doorway than the one the servant left out of. Star instantly spun around, surprised and a little panicked, and slammed the windows shut so that the fact that the imp was still screaming on the way down couldn't be heard.

"MARCO!" The princess exclaimed, while stepping back to the table and gesturing for him to sit down. "I had, uh, thought about opening the window to get some air in here, but I forgot the, uh... BIRDS!" With an unnaturally wide grin, Star rushed forward and took her own seat across from Marco, gradually calming down as the two settle in.

"So, what have you got me for me now Star?" Marco asked, genuinely curious but making an effort to add a playful tone to his voice, laying an arm on the table and leaning forward a little with a raised eyebrow. "I never really had you figured for the tea and cakes sort of princess."

"Well Marco, since you've asked, I might as well tell you that this is a sort of traditional Mewman courting spread." Star explained, trying to speak in a measured tone and sound as responsible as possible. "As we work our way through the dishes in the arranged order while enjoying our steadily cooling tea, we'll achieve a closer level of connection with each other."

Marco's raised eyebrow shifted slightly to go from slightly coy to slightly confused, feeling offput by Star's unusual attitude. Casting his eyes downwards, he was able to instantly see the symmetrical trail of finger food and light snacks arranged in front of each of them and while he admired the pattern they'd been placed into things still felt a little wrong. It was all perfectly nice, but it didn't feel like _STAR._

"Now, as the woman sitting at the table, I'll pour us our tea." Star said, a little posh, before making a show of extending her pinkie before reaching for the tea pot at the center of the table. Marco, however, beat her to the punch.

"That all sounds great Star, but I prefer to drink from the bottle." He said with an affected slyness to his voice before swiping the tea pot and true to his words, drinking straight from it, which did require holding the object at an odd sideways angle, since it wasn't built with the intention of serving someone directly. However, his expression quickly broke as his eyes began to water, and within seconds Marco had dropped the tea pot back to the table, scattering small dishes while he gasped and rolled his tongue out. "AH, AH! HOT! WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THAT WAS GOING TO BE HOT!?"

Despite being genuinely concerned by Marco's distress, Star had been laughing since he drank straight from the pot with that weird expression of his and wasn't able to stop herself from laughing over just a scalded tongue. "MAAAARCO! WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?" She wanted to know in-between her laughs, sounding more confused than upset and a little bit genuinely amused when adding "Are you making fun of me or something?"

"Ack! It came off that strong huh?" Marco asked, his voice a little hoarse as he recovered from his attempted escapade, giggling a little about it himself. In a little more steady voice, he added "I just thought I'd try and do things your way this time, let my heart tell me what to do and junk."

"And your heart told you to chug hot tea straight from the pot?" Star asked, now quite clearly amused by the whole event.

"Well, I guess it told me to make you laugh, you seemed way wound up all of a sudden." Marco replied, a little unsure of himself, a little concerned for Star, and a little amused at how all this had turned out. Then, with a more sly voice, he added "And hey, it worked, didn't it princess?"

Star held her hands in her lap for a moment, smiling with a flush inside and smiling at how touched that explanation made her feel. "Yeah, yeah it did. Thank you Marco, but don't worry! I'm not feeling down at all, I just thought you might appreciate something with some organization put into it. Sooooo, I tried to do things your way this time."

Wearing the same warm smile himself now, Marco extended his hands over the tea table, prompting Star to put hers into his, at which point the boy from earth closed his palms around those of the Mewman princess, letting them feel each other's warmth. "Well, I appreciate the thought, it really means a lot to me that you'd be willing to go out of your comfort zone like that..." Marco explained, while giving the hands in his an affectionate squeeze. "...But I'm ready to step out of my comfort zone and start living in the moment. It's, well, sort of why I left earth."

After a moment of quiet hand holding however, Marco's brow abruptly became heavy as a troubling thought transparently crossed his face. "Hey Star? What's going to happen now? You know, to me? I mean, you're the princess and one day you'll be queen, but I guess I didn't really think about the specifics of how I fit into things..."

_"I've already got some ideas Díaz, but it's too early to start talking about your permanent position as my prince." _Star thought to herself, momentarily surprising herself with how quickly she had added the epitaph to her mental image of Marco, and found it equally surprising how natural it sounded. In the real world, the girl leaned in and pulled the tan right hand up her heart stamped cheeks, gently nuzzling it while closing her eyes and making a soft, adorable noise. "You'll do what you've always done: Be my brave, sweet and understanding best friend who is always there for me, and helps me make sense of the crazy stuff that goes on in my life. After all, that's how you made me fall in love you to start with."

Marco felt his heart melt at Star's reassurances, but they couldn't completely banish his lingering insecurities, though the wonderful feelings traveling down his right arm were certainly making a valiant effort in that field as well. "Star, I mean more of an official position. I want to be with you Star, I understand that now, but I don't want to just bum around the castle doing nothing when you're busy. River talked about making me a knight, but I still wonder..."

"Ah, there you are! Me and Paz have been looking for you two, and all the servants have been really unhelpful this afternoon, wonder what's bothering all of them..."

Both Star and Marco looked towards the now open door with flatly dismayed expressions as Dipper and Pacifica stepped into the room, the brown haired boy continuing to explain his reasons for being here while pulling an extra two chairs off the wall and helping himself to a pastry. Pacifica, on the other hand, had stopped shortly after the door and shot the other couple an apologetic expression as soon as she realized what they'd interrupted. With a look of resignation, both gave the blond human a forgiving look and then finally payed attention to what Dipper was saying.

"...so Grunkle Ford wanted me to give you this." He had finished saying, while passing a folded up piece of paper to the princess. With her weary look turning into a smile, Star accepted and began to read it aloud.

"Princess Butterfly (well that is refreshingly to the point) I unfortunately have no further leads regarding Bill Cipher. I believe the best course of action to acquire new leads is to investigate his connections to the monster community, preferably diplomatically. I think it would be best if you handle this personally, rather than passing this tasks to the knights who would probably escalate the situation and cause a massacre. Dipper and Pacifica will assist you however they can." After checking the back to make sure she didn't miss anything, Star set the note down with a worried look on her face.

"Okay, whose Bill Cipher and whose Grunkle Ford?" Marco asked, breaking the silence. "Is he the old guy you mentioned Star?"

The princess of mewni simply nodded in response while Dipper answered the first question by grabbing the used note and scribbling on the back of it while speaking in a dead serious tone. "Bill Cipher is a mind demon from the Nightmare Realm who can spy on dreams and possess bodies. He attacked earth, OUR earth, a few years ago but me and my family defeated him, but now he's here on Mewni, wearing the skin of a regular demon and selling AK-47s to monsters. He is, more than likely, the most dangerous being you will ever face." After finishing that statement, Dipper held up his drawing.

"That looks like a nacho wearing a top hat."

"THE NACHOS WILL BETRAY YOU!"

"Dipper, please, calm down." Pacífica said soothingly while placing an arm on his shoulder, causing the boy to instantly relax a little. Turning to Marco, she explained further. "We only recently followed Bill to this dimension, but it's very likely he's been to Mewni before and laid down plans or resources here. Now that Mewni is vulnerable after Toffee's invasion, he is absolutely up to something big."

"Okay, I think I get the point, new bad guy to take down. After what Toffee threw at us, me and Star can conquer anything!" Marco stated confidently, which only made Dipper and Pacifica look nervous. Focusing on Star, he added "And if you want to talk to monsters, Star's your girl. She once babysat a whole clutch of them. So, what's our game plan Star?"

The normally energetic princess just looked nervous however, twiddling a bit of blond hair while reservedly explaining "Well, to be honest, I don't know. I mean, I do want to make things better for monsters, and sometimes it seems like I'm the only person in the Kingdom who does, but aside from Buff Frog I don't actually know too many of them personally, and I think I might have gotten him banished. Maybe. I'm definitely not sure if he's actually the monster expert or not right now." Then, she let out a frustrated groan. "The problem is that nobody can just talk to each other about anything! Mom and Buff Frog actually got along great once they actually sat down and spoke to each other like normal people! If we could just get some dialogue going between these groups the monsters might just hand Bill over!"

"So what if we GET everyone talking together! Put together something BIG that will capture the interests of mewmans and monsters alike, and have them bond over mutual interest!" Dipper declared, slamming his right fist into his left palm in realization. "What about... some kind of live, dramatic broadcast! A breaking news story about the cutest, most sympathy inducing baby we can find being kidnapped! We can have a desperate search, sad interviews with the parents, a couple of dramatic twists and turns with a few red herrings, get people out and volunteering to search the wilds and stuff, it'll be great! People will bond over the collective drama!"

Everyone else at the table was quiet for a long moment, wearing looks of confusion while Dipper had an expectant expression on his face. Finally, Pacifica broke the silence by slapping him on the back of the head. "OW! What the heck Paz?" he whined, before verbally elaborating. "The baby wouldn't be in any danger, we'd be the ones who kidnapped it! It'd be perfectly safe, and then to wrap everything up, we'd frame... eh... we'd frame that Higgs girl you told me about."

"Dipper." Pacifica said, using a very serious, very stern tone of voice with him. "You know that I love you, and one of the reasons I love you is that you're brilliant, but that is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard in my life. That sounds like a plan MABEL would come up, only with your inclination for large numbers of interconnected steps and rigged, multilayer organization added in."

Rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish look on his face, Dipper seemed to be reconsidering his idea in earnest, muttering "I was trying to reach the lowest common denominator you know..." when Marco spoke up and said "You know, he might be on to something." quickly earning him confused looks from everyone else, including Dipper. "I mean, I mean the base idea, of bringing everyone together over some common interest. The stuff about the kidnapping is absolutely insane, I agree." The newest arrival from Earth then backpedaled. "But if we had some kind of common interest that could bring mewmans and monsters together on friendly terms, maybe we could make some progress."

The whole table sat in silent thought for a minute, until Star spoke up. "What about... a party?" She asked, getting blinks from the rest of the table before continuing with "You know, little get together, dancing, music, free food. If we could get some famous people from both sides to show up, they'd draw in others, and then everyone would be under one roof having a good time."

Appreciative nods emerged from the other three sitting at the table, with Marco in particular beaming with pride at Star, which made her blush a little. However, when her boyfriend starting speaking, she frowned a little, just enough to not be noticeable. "We'll have to get started right away on this, we need to find a venue, get people invited, get food ready, the lists alone will probably take me a whole afternoon to plan out..."

"Uh, Marco?" Star asked sheepishly, a blush spreading out from her hearts. "I really appreciate the enthusiasm, but I think it'd be for the best if we wait a little, maybe a day or two until I can talk this over with mom. At least let me get this all clear with her before we set any details in stone. You know, don't want the knights or whoever ruining things with a surprise raid or whatever. Ask her to focus her attention away from the monsters, give us time to build a little good will."

Marco's expression fell at these words from Star, but he quickly nodded in agreement, finding her idea logical. "Yeah, that makes sense." He said, before lifting his tea cup to his mouth only to realize he'd never actually filled it with tea. Setting it down with a disappointed look, Marco then looked at the other two humans at the table. "Dipper, Pacifica, do you think you could explain to me, well, what's the deal with you two? I mean, what's going on with you two, how are you even here, exactly? Do more people on earth know about... all this?"

Dipper opened his mouth up, planning to take the questions as they came, but Pacifica cut him off first. "Let me answer your second question first, since that answer is actually very simple: No, as far as we know, the Pines family and myself are the only people researching the supernatural on our scale. We do it mostly in secret, but I know Doctor Pines does dream of going public." She explained succinctly, before her boyfriend answered the first question. "As for how it all started, well, it began when our parents decided me and my sister Mabel, she's actually back on earth right now... guarding the portal. Anyways, our parents thought we needed more fresh air, so they sent us north to spend the summer with our great uncle Stan, but things didn't really start to get weird until I found this old book in the woods..."

From there, Dipper and Pacifica spent awhile describing that fateful summer to the princess and her boyfriend, Star listening with wide eyed, rapt attention while Marco was more prone to looks of concern and fright. It was a skimming over of the whole story, but included all the critical points such as the twins' battles against Bill Cipher, their early meetings and eventual friendships with Pacifica, and Ford returning from the portal, which Marco became quiet and focused on. When the subject of Weirdmaggedon came up, however... both Dipper and Pacifica became abruptly sullen, keeping the retelling of things down to "Eventually, Bill Cipher found a way into our dimension. He did a lot of terrible things to the people of the town, but eventually the Grunkles worked out a way to trick and destroy him, or at least, we thought they had. Well they did, but he had a way to come back, as it turns out. So now we're hunting him down before he musters the strength to attack again." Letting out a sigh and starting to smile again, the boy finished with "And from there, I decided to take up my great uncle Ford's offer and study with him. We've been working to learn more about the supernatural, and fix everything Bill broke, ever since."

Pacifica did her best to not show her tell as Dipper was talking, taking a sip from an actually full cup of tea and looking downwards when Dipper talked about Ford first making him the offer than changed his life, and doing so again when he talked about the start of Weirdmaggedon. _"If he doesn't want to explain Mabel's part in that, then that's his decision." _she thought to herself.

Star had gotten a little bored midway through, not finding the other boy's adventures all that extraordinary compared to her own life but continued to pay attention out of politeness. Marco on the other hand, just looked amazed. "And all of that was just, what a couple hours drive up from California? I mean I was surprised to find out I'd visited there on vacation once, but to know all that sort of stuff was going down while I was wishing for a little more danger in my life back in Echo Creek..."

The name actually made Dipper perk up in surprise. "Do you go to a school called Echo Creek Academy?" He asked curiously, causing an equally surprised Marco to nod his head vigorously while both blonds leaned in to pay attention, curious at the implications of this. "Well, like I said, Mabel and I were going to be starting high school when that summer ended, and Echo Creek was always "the other school" that our parents didn't want to send us to. It's been so long since I've thought about that but you just sparked my memory."

"That's crazy." Marco exhaled, clearly boggled by how close their lives and the supernatural all came to crossing over. "That's, I mean, I don't mean this as an insult man, but your whole life is crazy!" The latino boy exclaimed, getting louder and more excited the more he talked, though the warmth in his voice actually kept Dipper from feeling disheartened by this words. "You were like, destined for adventure dude! You've got a mysterious, secret family history with fake relatives and deep rooted conspiracies, a family home hiding great magical power... you've even got cool magical markings, hey, sort of like Star!" Marco spoke the last bit with a tone of realization to his voice, having just made the comparison between Dipper's forehead mark and Star's cheeks as he said that. Then, slumping into his chair, Marco finished with "And I could have met you at a football game, had things been a little different."

Dipper's eyebrows scrunched up at Marco's mention of his birthmark, but taking into account the earlier words of his girlfriend and the friendliness with which Marco had spoke, Dipper quickly shoved this feeling off, feeling remarkably light inside after he did. "Well, it's not magic Marco. Even after I came to Gravity Falls and started studying the supernatural it's never done anything cool in my life. Not like Star's, which, uh..." he played off jokingly, prompting the blond mewman to chime up with "They're a mark of the royal family! Yup! Every queen of mewni has her own unique ones!" In a slightly nervous tone the others didn't catch. This made Dipper chuckle a little before responding "See? Nothing like my mark. This is a just a bit of weird flavor to my body that anyone could pick up."

Dipper then relaxed his posture himself, finding Marco friendly and easy to talk to. "So, what about you? How'd you end up on this side of the veil?" He inquired, with a friendly tone rather than his usual suspicion, Pacifica was happy to note.

"Well, nothing quite as dramatic as your story Dipper." Marco explained. "I was just a normal kid whose parents loved to host foreign exchange students and had a reputation for being a safe kid, and as much as I used to dislike that label it'd never want it to be anything different, because as a result they asked me to show Star around when she enrolled in our school midway through the year."

With questioning expressions, Dipper and Pacifica looked at Star, obviously wondering why a magic princess from another dimension had dropped into an American high school. With a shrug, the princess responded "My parents wanted me to train with my wand in a dimension without magic."

"So, yeah, from there, me and Star lived under the same roof and became the best of friends. We fought monsters, traveled to other dimensions, helped each other learn about ourselves, and I think brought out the best in each other." Marco reminisced fondly, getting a smile from Star as well. "We were besties within the first month, and, well, she changed my life. Star brought me out of a rut and helped me live the best life I could." Star's now twinkling eyes waited expectantly for Marco's dark ones to meet them, but he was looking down with a troubled expression, staring at the cup of tea he was gripping with both hands. Regret poured from his posture.

"I... I think I'd developed my own feelings for Star since the beginning, but I didn't actually realize them until yesterday if you can believe it. I had a bunch of different, well, excuses I guess, that I kept throwing up to block them out or rationalize them, right? She was my family's guest, we were just friends, Jackie was my crush, I wasn't royalty, she'd move away eventually, Star didn't need a hero... and I ended up hurting good people because of them." He admitted with a deep sigh, but then looked up and cracked a weak grin. "But hey, no way I can deny it now, huh? After all, what else but love could make me abandon everyone else I've ever known to travel to an alien world and fight in a war that doesn't involve me?" Then, he looked back down at his cup and sighed again. "I was a real jerk though. I went on and on about all the adventures I had gone on and the amazing things the multiverse had to offer like it made me better than everyone, basically telling my girlfriend to her face that I enjoyed the company of this other girl way more than her, and I rationalized to myself that I was just going back for adventures, but I think I just didn't want to admit to myself that, well, I was trying to dump my girlfriend and take off." As if this was a new revelation to Marco, the boy sunk into his chair and looked ashamed. "Aww crap, I'm scum aren't I?"

The princess of mewni had a sort of worried, imminent tears expression on her face, but Dipper ended up being the next person to speak. "Well, maybe maybe not Marco. All those reasons you call excuses could be just as valid." He commented, causing Pacifica to scrunch her eyebrows as she prepared to chastise her boyfriend for saying something emotionally clumsy to the clearly troubled Marco, but then he continued in a sort of serious, emotionally touching tone of voice, indicating he was saying something personal, and she waited, interested. "You see, I think I was much the same as you Marco. I felt a couple of years ago what you felt a day ago when you decided to return to Mewni."

Reaching out to his girlfriend, Dipper almost seemed to comfort her initial angry response to his words by gently cupping her hand in his. "You see, I sort of skimmed over the details of taking up Grunkle Ford's apprenticeship. There was... a lot of troubled feelings involved, because Mabel was going back to California to start high school at the end of the summer, and taking this offer would split us apart. I was friends with Pacifica at this time, but I wasn't in love with her yet. The decision was purely between my sister and my dream." He explained, before removing his hands from his girlfriend's, having done that to impress upon her that he did love her now. He turned his focus from the blond human and onto Marco, giving him a very firm but very empathetic look right into his eyes, offering understanding while trying to analyze everything about his response.

"But, it was more than just following a dream or taking up an opportunity, it was more like the choice had already been made for me. I had already come to live in a whole different world than the mundane one I'd come from, and turning great uncle Ford down would just be ineffectually running from it. I think we're kinda the same in that way." Dipper continued, feeling himself connect to the boy in the red hoodie, who had an appreciating glimmer to his eyes as the apprentice spoke. "You and I Marco, we've had our horizons expanded, our experiences made us realize the universe is bigger and stranger than most people know, and after an experience like that couldn't just go back to living dull, regular lives. You said something before about having wanted danger in your life before you met Star, right?" He suddenly asked, seeming to change topics.

"Yeah, I did." Marco answered, nodding his head. "I've always wanted some action, some excitement in my life, that's why I dedicated myself to learning karate, but just because I wanted that didn't mean I was going to take stupid risks!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms out in a frustrated gesture as a rant he'd clearly put prior thought into emerged. "I mean, crossing the street without looking both ways isn't an adventure, it's just a way to get killed!" Then, he let out a frustrated sigh. "But of course, since there were a lot more crosswalks than ninja cults in Echo Creek before Star arrived, I got labeled the safe kid."

"Exactly! I felt something similar before I came to Gravity Falls. I was always wondering if there was more out there then just normal life, and in Gravity Falls, there is. It's why I knew I had to stay there, it felt right like nowhere else ever did." Dipper explained, putting to words long felt sensations. "Marco, I can't comment on if you handled your girlfriend badly or not, maybe you did, maybe you didn't, I wasn't there so I don't really have a right to provide commentary. But, no matter how it ended, maybe it was just important that it did. I still have some regrets about the exact ways me and my sister separated, but if I had to choose again..." He continued, but abruptly his sentence caught, delayed for just a moment, before he continued almost seamlessly "...I'd do it again. That stage of my life had come to an end, and I think yours did as well Marco. It's like growing up, the world changes around you and you have to embrace it in order to be true to yourself."

Looking back to his girlfriend, Dipper's words got even more of a reassuring tone. "Before, back during the first summer, I had a different crush, on someone older than me. If I wanted to, I could simply wait until we're both at ages where the gap between those two numbers doesn't mean anything, but as I grew towards that age and my world changed, so did my heart. No one gets to decide who they or anyone else loves, after all. One of the many reasons I came to love Pacifica was because she was a part of that new world I was maturing into, where I could reach and achieve the things I only dreamed about as a child."

Despite his intentions, Dipper was starting to lose track of his attempt to reassure Marco, as he and Pacifica gradually got lost in each other's eyes. When Dipper spoke again, his voice was a little more dazed. "You are a part of all that Pacifica, a part of my dream, the world in which I finally find fulfillment. You accept and understand and _embrace _this new world that I'm eager to explore, and I want to explore it with you. What we have wouldn't have worked between me and someone who is disconnected from the wonder of the world, we'd just have... so little... in common..."

The two had gradually leaned closer and closer to each other as Dipper's words, which were now loosely running from his lips, seemingly beyond his control, seemed to entrance Pacifica, causing the blond human to hang off every one. The run on dialogue was eventually stopped when the two surged forward at the exact same time, locking lips together over the tea table, both reaching to hold the other's face and neither caring as they clattered the plates and cups below them. Star and Marco scooted back in their chairs with surprise, but after a moment, Star's eyes got lidded and her face a little red while she silently cheered Pacifica on with an encouraging expression, while Marco just continued to look shocked. Both couldn't help but watch the other two teenagers eat the other's face, but after the expected amount of time had passed and the two were still kissing, both looked up with bewildered expressions.

Star looked at Marco with a raised eyebrow and a bewildered expression that seemed to ask _"When are they going to stop?" _to which Marco in response silently threw up his hands and shoulders as if to say back _"I don't know, they're your friends!" _The tan skinned boy did his best to look away while Star gave the steadily more intertwined mass a curious, hand on the chin look of pondering as they both climbed further up the table, then pointed to the door with a sideways bounce of her head, which Marco hastily shook his own in agreement to. By all indications, Dipper and Pacifica hadn't heard them leave.

* * *

As all of the above was happening in the sunlit world of Mewni, Prince Tom brooded within the infernal Castle Lucitor, seated at his desk and doing the young royal equivalent to homework. His father had given him a mailing list of relevant nobles who needed to be given an update following the disastrous Silver Bell Ball, as well as a short summary of how the letter should be intoned: Some should be formal, some should be flirty, some casual and others apologetic, and a select few condemning. Whatever King Dave thought the noble in question would respond to best is what that noble heard and of course, none of them truly took responsibility for the events of that night.

The work was slow going however, even with consideration given this being the sort of project that takes a few days to complete. The only letters he'd written so far that Tom felt any passion about writing were the first two he had made, that were directed to two unlisted recipients and were slipped inside the first batch of completed dispatches that the steward had come to collect. From there on out, the prince was simply producing letters to people he didn't know or care about which said things he didn't truly think or feel.

And of course, his mood wasn't helped by his damn mirror going off every couple of seconds.

_Bing_

Despite the chime itself being a perfectly soft, melodious tone, the event it signified as having occurred was enough to cause the formal quill Tom was holding in his hand to crack where his fingers pinched it and the feathers to burst into flames. After quickly blowing the embers away from his parchment, Tom discarded the writing implement with a sigh, tossing it into a wastebasket overflowing with similar quilld and pulling a fresh one from a nearby crate of them.

When Prince Tom's magical mirror phone of communication and wonder made that noise it meant one of the several curses he'd discreetly planted on Marco Diaz was being triggered, and this one in particular was the curse that alerted Tom whenever the boy from earth said Star's name. _"Maybe Brian is right and this whole thing is an unnecessary stress source. Maybe I should turn the alert off and just review the day's events while in a calm, stabilized..."_

_Bing_

This time, Tom's head turned rapidly to look over his shoulder as the alarm went off again. "That's the shortest time between hits I've heard in months." He said aloud to himself, in surprise. The air in the prince's chambers was dead still for a long moment, and then...

_Bing_

Third eye twitching, Tom took a deep breath and turned back to the project assigned to him by his father. "He's... probably just talking about Star with his parents or something." Becoming more calm, he continued talking to himself, hypothesizing that "Yeah, they probably just found like a sock or something that she lost and thus didn't take with her when she left earth forever and that turns into talking about memories and good times and..."

_Bing_

Confident in his newly developed explanation, Tom gave himself a small smile as he completely ignored the newest alert...

_Bing_

...only to freeze up completely and gain a flat facial expression when a new one went off just seconds afterwards in a way that defied the patterns of normal conversation.

_Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing_

Tom's whole body was on fire before he'd even completely jumped out of his chair, kicking it into the wall as he spun around the face the magic communicator with his three, now burning and soulless looking, eyes which were coursing with rage at the conclusion he'd jumped to, only for the burning rage to instantly be snuffed out and be replaced with a more grumpy discontent when he saw his mirror phone was active and just who it was on the line.

"Hello, Bill. I suppose a good reason for you having not just called me like a normal person is too much to expect?" Tom asked, making his annoyance undoubtedly clear as the curse alert noise stopped completely, and the triangular true form of Bill Cipher was being displayed on the reflective surface.

"ON ONE TENTACLE, I'M TRANSMITTING MY MENTAL PROJECTION TO YOUR MIRROR PHONE INSTEAD OF CALLING YOU NORMALLY BECAUSE MY HOST BODY IS IN A COMATOSE HEAP ALONGSIDE ALL THESE MONSTERS AFTER THEY DECIDED WE SHOULD CELEBRATE THE WEAPONS DELIVERY WITH SOME TRADITIONAL PSYCHOACTIVE HERBS AND FUNGUS. ON THE OTHER GRASPING INHUMAN LIMB OF THE ABYSS, THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY!"

Tom looked the mirror surface up and down, annoyed but not particularly surprised by the dapperly dressed yellow triangle floating in a purple void and brightening when he spoke. "How are you able to do this again?" He asked while rubbing his temples.

"WELL LIKE I SAID, I'M INSIDE A BRAIN COOKED OUT ON PSYCHEDELICS AND THAT HELPS BOOST THE SIGNAL TRANSMISSION, BUT THE MAIN REASON I CAN DO THIS WAS THE LAST SYSTEMS UPDATE THIS THING HAD. IT WAS ALL IN THE TERMS OF AGREEMENT THAT CAME WITH THE UPDATE, AND I KNOW YOU ALWAYS READ THAT, RIGHT HORNS?" Bill explained, a faint tone of mockery entering his voice.

The prince of the underworld let out a frustrated sigh. "What are you doing here Bill? This better be important because I'm in the middle of a lot of boring prince work right now."

"JUST FULFILLING MY DUTY AS YOUR SOCIETY'S TRADITIONAL DEITY OF MESSAGES AND HOPE HORNS! I'VE JUST RECENTLY HEARD SOMETHING I THINK YOU'D BE VERY INTERESTED IN!" Bill explained, but then went silent and didn't say anything as Tom just stood there, slowly looking more confused and uncomfortable.

"Well?" Tom asked abruptly after enough time had passed. "What's the news?"

"I MEAN I WASN'T GOING TO TELL YOU, BUT WHAT THE HECK, YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY, I'LL FILL YOU IN!" Bill explained, causing Tom to slap his face in realization he'd walked into one of the demon's jokes. Onscreen, Bill's yellow brick body shifted through images as he spoke again, first showing a Bigfoot hiding behind a tree, the pyramids of Egypt, an ace of spades playing card, a flying saucer, crop circles, a pie cooling in a window, and a dark city alley where every surface on the buildings and the power lines above head were covered in pigeons.

"THE WHOLE BUTTERFLY WEB OF ALLIES, COLLABORATORS, RACE TRAITORS AND ECONOMIC PARTNERS IS ABOUT TO HAVE A VERY BAD DAY. THE UNDERWORLD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THIS PARTNERSHIP, AND AFTER THE BALL A LOT OF THE OTHER TRIBUTARY KINGDOMS ARE WONDERING IF THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO PICK BETWEEN YOU TWO, AND A LOT OF THE BETTER OFF MONSTER POPULATIONS ARE WONDERING IF THEY'LL BE ABLE TO GET IN ON THIS! POP QUIZ HORNS, WHOSE THE NEWEST ADDITION TO MEWNI AND COMPANY?"

"Uh..." Tom wondered as it felt like Bill's single eye was drilling a hole in him and he tried to recollect the princely lessons he'd always been disinterested in. Though there was no more noise in the room and the shifting images on Bill's body stayed on the city alley, giving the impression of a computer that had frozen up in the face of missing information. Unfortunately though, the only vassal kingdom of Mewni whose name could even come to mind for Tom was the one whose crown princess had bitten him about a day or so ago. "...The Ponyheads?"

The air between them was silent again for almost a minute, Bill's single eye and pyramid shaped body proving completely unreadable as Tom prepared for the dream demon to turn red and explode with anger at him for failing such a basic question.

"IT'S FUNNY HOW STUPID YOU ARE." Bill stated in his normal tone of voice after letting Tom sweat a little. The prince let out a sigh of relief and the images on Bill's body continued to cycle as he resumed talking, showing a skull with a pentagram painted onto the cranium, a ripped spiderweb, a giant screen of repeating words and a giant bald face on it overlooking a plaza, a two headed cow, discarded socks sitting in a rain gutter, a monarch butterfly fluttering through a horrific forest fire, a pizza truck, and a radio telescope. "THE PIGEONS HORNS. THE PIGEONS ARE THE WEAK LINK!"

"Oh, right, the Pigeon Kingdom! Yeah, now that you've said that they are the newest addition to the tributaries, right?" Tom responded with realization, then his face crunched up in uncertainty. "But, they're just birds. Birds that walk around on power legs... and have money, somehow? Ugh, now I wish I paid more attention to my royal tutors... what am I saying, this is pointless! How are they the weak link to me getting Star!?"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO GET THE HANDPUPPETS OR CAN I JUST WALK YOU THROUGH THIS?" Bill asked, but after a moment of silence simply launched into his explanation. "THE DECAPITATED UNICORNS ARE USELESS AND YOU CAN'T MAKE TOOLS FROM USELESS JUNK. THE WILDLANDERS WILL NEVER BREAK FROM QUEEN WANE, THE FISHWALKERS ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR TRADE CONTRACTS AND THE ARACHNOPHOBES ARE CONFLICT AVERSE BY NATURE. BUT THE BIRDS HORNS..."

A new image flashed on Bill's body, showing a pile of skulls with an innocuous looking bird sitting on top of it. "THEY ARE RUTHLESS, DETERMINED TO GET AHEAD AT ANY COST, AND HAD TO BUY A CONTENTIOUS SEAT AT THE CORN TABLE. A LOT FOLK AREN'T HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND THE RIGHT TOUCH IN THE RIGHT PLACE COULD TIP THINGS IN ANY WHICH WAY!"

"You know what I'm not hearing in this conversation is how this puts me any closer to Star." Tom asked, clearly annoyed.

"WELL THE PROBLEM IS ONE OF HEARTS HATES YOU HORNS, SO YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO HIT IT OFF WITH HER AGAIN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING HER TO THE NEGOTIATING TABLE, AND TO DO THAT..." Bill explained, his body finally shifting back to normal.

Tom was quiet for a moment, a hesitant look on his face. "Bill, are you sure this is the best way to go about this?" He asked, then quickly added "I mean, if we try and meddle and things don't work, that's just going to turn more kingdoms against us. Maybe we could just let this divide happen naturally, it's not like Mewmans actually respect us in any way. We could turn the other kingdoms against them without all this weapons smuggling which carries some very heavy risks if we get found out."

"KID, WHERE'D THIS ALL COME FROM? WHERE'S THE TOM I KNOW AND LOVE, THE SNEAKY, MANIPULATIVE CHARMER WITH AN ANGER MANAGEMENT BUNNY AND THE BEST POKER FACE IN THE UNDERWORLD!?" Bill asked, leaning back on nothing in the void he was floating in. "LOOK, YOU CAN TRUST ME ON THIS HORNS, I WAS AT YOUR BAPTISM! I SUGGEST THESE SCHEMES TO YOU AND YOUR FATHER BECAUSE YOU NEED THEM! THE QUEENS OF MEWNI HAVEN'T USED THE MAGIC WAND TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL FOR GENERATIONS..." Bill explained, as one more image flashed across his body extremely quickly, the guarded, mysterious face of the dark queen as depicted on her tapestry. "...BUT BEING BACKED INTO A CORNER MIGHT BE JUST THE MOTIVATION THEY NEED! IF YOU TRY AND BEAT THEM FAIR AND SQUARE, THEY'LL JUST FLIP THE TABLE AND MAKE UP NEW RULES. THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS TO BEAT THEM THEIR WAY, FIRST!"

The prince of demons held his chin in his hand, taking Bill's words into consideration and finding that they made sense, remembering an old conversation with Marco. The passing thought of the earth boy threatened to make his blood boil, but Tom quickly suppressed it. "THAT BLOOD MOON BALL IS A PERFECT METAPHOR FOR THE SITUATION BETWEEN YOUR KINGDOMS, YOU KNOW." Bill spoke up, causing Tom to glance at him with a frown. "AS SOON AS ONE OF HEARTS GOT TIRED OF INTERACTING WITH YOU, SHE PUT YOU ON ICE AND WALKED AWAY. ALL YOUR POWER, ALL YOUR INDUSTRY, IS USELESS BEFORE THE TRUE POTENTIAL OF THE WAND. THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE HER STAY IS TO CLAIM THE WAND FOR DEMON KIND!"

Finally, Tom nodded in agreement. "Alright, all that makes sense. So, what's the full plan you have in mind Bill?"

"CAN'T EXPLAIN AT THE MOMENT, BODY IS WAKING UP SOON. DON'T WORRY, MY NEW HENCHMANIACS WILL BE ARRIVING AT YOUR CASTLE SOON AND WILL FILL YOU IN ON ALL THE DETAILS." Bill answered. "IN THE MEANTIME, I'VE GOT A MAGIC LESSON FOR YOU."

On cue, the door to the prince's room was thrown open and in strode a large but vacant eyed demon, a hulking purple figure with flat features crammed into a tuxedo. Moving with none of the tact or respect you'd expect from someone in the quarters of royalty, the demon gingerly carried a glass, corked bottle with a red ribbon wrapped around the neck gingerly, in-between two large, meaty hands. Delicately, they set the bottle down on Tom's desk, then turned around and left just as silently.

"THANKS GRIMSLY!" Bill called out, prompting the demon to raise their right hand up to make the "OK" symbol with his thumb and fingers, resulting in the raised limb knocking off some of the door frame as it ran into the upper part of the portal. "ANYWAYS, CONNECTIONS BREAKING UP, JUST DRINK THE BOTTLE AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THE NEXT PART OF THEPLANTHEMULTIVERSEISDYINGROYALITYISANILLUSIONBUYPUDDING!"

The mirror phone suddenly fizzled out as if it were out of power, causing Tom to blink all three eyes in confusion before opting to let it sit deactivated for awhile. He then turned them over to the bottle. Turning it over in his hands and finding no markings of any kind on it, he popped the cork and was instantly entranced by the strange, shimmering light of gold coming from inside.

_"Something about this feels familiar."_ His distorting mind thought to itself as the fumes rose from the bottle and enveloped his face, before his bent his head back and began chugging the bottle. _"Tastes like... tastes like what I always imagined Star would taste like..."_

* * *

"Okay, so, picking up from where we were before things got freaking weird..."

It was starting to get dark by now, the many moons of Mewni beginning to shine bright in the sky as Star and Marco sat down on a blanket, the royal castle visible from atop their hill as it broke the distant skyline. This was to be the last place the princess took her new boyfriend today, a sterling hike through the cooling auburn evening followed by some romantic time under the night sky, after which they could return by scissor portal. The two had chatted casually while hiking the blanket through the hills, but now that they were settled in, Marco wanted to pick up their serious conversation from the tea table.

"...what's going to happen to me, now that I'm here Star?" He asked, a conversational and contently worn out tone to Marco's voice after the trip, but an undercurrent of worry present nonetheless. "How do I fit into this situation you've got going on right now?"

"Maaaarcoooo, let's not worry about that right now!" Star responded, putting on a playfully whiny voice as she buried her face into Marco's neck, freely nuzzling against him. The boy was still surprised by these sudden shows of affection, but had gotten much more used to them over the day. "You'll be what you've always been, what you were meant to be: My awesome bestie, except, well, now you're my boy bestie... bestie... boy?" She tried to reassure, only sound a little unsure at the end. "Gotta workshop that out..."

The boy from earth couldn't help but chuckle at this, the familiar humor of the princess shining through. After a moment though, his own expression became more somber. "Sorry Star, it's just... I'm a little lost right now. I mean, this, all this, with you, it all feels good, getting in touch with my feelings and admitting that I love you, but, well, I had a plan before coming here and now it's completely in shreds."

Looking up at him in curiosity, Star found herself asking "That's right, you said something about becoming a knight, right?"

"Right." Marco answered with a tone of uncertainty, discreetly scratching the back of his neck. "I, ugh, I really don't know what I was thinking when I told everyone on earth I was going to be a knight, to be honest. Well, no, I know exactly what I was thinking, I was trying to not admit to myself that I wanted to come back to you and that we'd just be platonic adventure buddies. The only time we'd really talked about knights or anything before was during that whole Mewnipendence Day thing, and that, well, that was one of the few times I was seriously questioning my feelings for you."

Realizing this conversation couldn't be avoided, Star withdrew from Marco's chest to sit across from him and look him right in the eyes. "What do you mean Marco?" She asked, a little nervous but determined to confront this.

"Well, back then Star, your attitude towards monsters, well, made me a little uncomfortable." He admitted, before explaining that "We've had situations like this on earth you know, and it wasn't pleasant there either. If you'd kept up like that, I don't know if my feelings for you could have survived, but my gut was steering me the right when it told me there was still a good, beautiful soul that had the potential to treat everyone equally inside you, ready to shine through."

Star smiled back appreciatively at this, a deep, genuine warm feeling evident on her face as she responded "I mean, it never would have shined through without you. You tried to change my perspective for the first time with Lobster Claws, and like with everything you just banged your head against the problem until you knocked it down." She said with a giggle, but then, more nervously, added that "And now, here I am! Gonna try and mend a divide older than anyone even knows with a party. How things change, huh Marco?"

The boy could tell the girl in front of him was still nervous, and despite her eager attitude when they'd talked about it earlier, Star clearly knew what kind of challenge she was undertaking and the pressures associate with it. In an attempt to reassure her, Marco spoke again, sounding firm and resolute. "Star, I know earlier I said I wanted to be a knight, but... that's changed. I know Dipper explained that my other reasons probably aren't totally fake, but that, well, that was an excuse. I only thought I wanted to be a knight because I wanted to come back and impress you." Reaching out and taking one of Star's hands in both of his, Marco continued, saying "I don't know how this is going to affect things, what with you being a princess and all, but... I can't swear any kind of allegiance to Mewni, as a kingdom, there's a lot wrong with it you know, and if I were to become and act as a knight I might be complicit in a lot of it." Then however, he pulled her hand to his face and gently nuzzled it. "But, there's a lot of good to this world Star, and you embody all of it, and that I can swear my loyalty to in good conscience. I'm gonna stick by you Star, and do whatever I can to help you do all the wonderful things you set out to do."

Star brought the physical affection one step closer by throwing her arms around Marco's neck in response and nuzzling her own face into his cheek instead of her hand. "Mmmm, Marco." She sighed contently. "Mom probably won't like that but it's more than enough for me." Then, shimming up to his ear, Star whispered her next line to her boyfriend in a much softer, more mischievous tone. "So, your feelings wouldn't have 'survived' if my stance on monsters hadn't changed? That's what you said, yeah? So, how long have you felt this way about me?"

Now looking a little uncomfortable, Marco couldn't help but squirm a bit, but took a deep breath and did his best to give her a straight answer. "Well, it wasn't... you know, love at first sight, I don't think that's real or anything, but I felt a connection to you, from the beginning, when we fought Ludo together for the first time." Both of them smiled at the memory of that first fight, causing Marco to continue with more confidence. "It wasn't love to begin with, it took its sweet time growing into that, and I couldn't really tell you exactly when in time it finally did grow into love, because I'm dense as a brick, but, looking back, it's just so obvious that it did." Looking at her with curiosity, Marco asked "When did you realize you were in love with me?"

"When Toffee kidnapped you." Star answered without hesitation, causing Marco to blush a little at her straightforward response. "I mean, it took me a bit to figure everything out after that, and by then, you were, you know, but as soon as Toffee demanded I destroy the wand or you'd die... I knew things had changed. It... it kind of scared me Marco."

"I mean, that's natural Star. That was a hard choice." Marco did his best to comfort her, but the princess just shook her head in response.

"No Marco, I mean it scared me how easy the choice was."

The two were quiet for a long moment together, both taking a moment to look up at the skies to somewhat awkwardly avoid the others face, but simultaneously looked back at each other as they realized that sort of stuff is what had blocked them from dating up until now. Feeling a burst of confidence, Star braced herself and got a burning question off her chest. "Marco, do you regret breaking up with Jackie?"

As expected, this caused a wince to grow on the boy's face, but he didn't respond by becoming hostile or defensive. _"Star deserves the truth, and we can work through it together." _He thought to himself before answering "Well... I regret dating her in the first place now, because I can see that I was leading her on with a bunch of promises I didn't keep while my heart belonged to someone else. I still think we had a bunch of good times together, but it hurts to look back at them knowing they were causing you to hurt Star. I still think she's a really cool girl and I hope she finds someone who treats her correctly."

The flash of discomfort that went across Star's face when Marco complimented Jackie was surpressed in a moment, but Marco knew the princess well enough to catch it, and his eyes widened in response. "Star, is that what today has been all about?" He asked, a very balanced tone to his question. "The tea set, feeding me fruit, all the touching and hugging and kissing..." the boy ran through, looking at his girlfriend with an air of concern and worry. "...Do you feel like you need to compete with Jackie?"

"...I can't lose you again Marco." Star answered, a desperate tone breaking through as her eyes grew wide and quivered with potential tears, causing Marco's vision to cloud up in response. "It was so hard at first, when it was just me and I hadn't made my new friends yet. I'd just lay around in bed all day doing nothing but smelling your hoodie. Then you just pop back into my life, both of us single... it's felt like a dream so far Marco, and I don't want the dream to end."

At this point, Marco surged forward and wrapped his arms around Star, drawing her into a hug she returned right away. "I hate seeing you cry Star. It's the saddest thing in the world." He said softly, but with a sincere intensity. Then, as they drew back a little to look each other in the eyes, he added "And you don't need to worry about that. We were inseparable even before we realized we were in love, and nothing is going to change that. You're more than just my girlfriend now Star, you're my best friend, and you always will be."

The two kissed again, both of them feeling the intense heat lock between them as their mouths touched. They both ran their arms over the backs of their partner, both wanting to feel the other as close as possible, but eventually the need for air separated them, and both smiled shyly at the other.

Star chuckled a little bit. "I guess I did go a little overboard today, didn't I?" She asked with a nervous, apologetic but somewhat playful tone.

"Hey, I never said I didn't like all that stuff, just that you were laying it on a little thick." Marco replied in a sly tone of voice, getting another giggle out of his girlfriend. "I just don't want you to stress yourself out feeling like you need to win me, or like, bribe me with physical affection or something. I'm here for you Star, through the good and the bad. We can get through so much more together than we could alone."

The princess of mewni beamed back at her boyfriend, a confident smile energizing her face enough to make Marco smile along with her. "Yeah, yeah we can. Man, I don't know what I was worrying about earlier, all these crises?" She asked rhetorically before making a raspberry sound. "We'll conquer them together, right Marco!?"

"Right Star." Marco answered, before his voice turned inquisitive. "Now, first step in all that would be knowing about these crises of course. You've been dodging the issue all day."

Star couldn't help but get a playfully nervous expression that confirmed this idea, folding some of her blond hair over her shoulder and rubbing it while speaking evasively. "I mean, it's like you said, I was just trying to lay it on really thick to convince you to stay my boyfriend. I didn't want all that political junk to sour the mood." She explained, before taking a more regretful and genuinely pleading tone. "But, really Marco, is it okay if I fill you in tomorrow? Most of the day has already gone by and I'd hate to let our little date here be wasted, and when I talk to you about what's been happening, it's going to bring the mood down."

Smiling gently, Marco responded with an accepting "Aright then, one more carefree evening under the night sky." Then, he said in a more playful tone "Though you know, we didn't have to go hiking all this way if you wanted to do some stargazing. After all, I'm looking the most beautiful star of all right now."

Marco instantly wanted to slap himself for how cheesy that sounded as soon as he finished the sentence, but Star's reaction belayed that instinct: She was hopping up and down in her sitting position with excitement, clapping her hands together with her eyes closed and her cheek hearts aglow. The boy just smiled a little instead. "You brought me out here just so I'd use that line on you, huh Star?"

"Maaaaaybe!" Star replied while giggling. "I've been trying to impress you all day you know, maybe I wanted you here, under all these other stars, so I'd look better by comparison." This made Marco laugh in return, and soon enough the two closer than friends were happily passing the time together under the sprawling night sky, enjoying casual banter with each other both had once feared was gone for ever.

* * *

Back at the castle, the door to the magic boosted living chambers of the trio of humans burst open, followed by Pacifica and Dipper sauntering into the room, still kissing each other. Dipper kicked the door shut behind him, staying focused on the lip lock, but realization suddenly burst across his features and motivated him to release and shout out "Grunkle Ford!" in preemptively apologetic shock. Pacifica, previously looking annoyed, got a similar look of shocked, surprised revelation as she was being cradled, dipped somewhat low, in the arms of the apprentice.

However, the room offered no response to this yell, and indeed sat very quiet. Both teenagers scanned the room thoroughly, but there was no sign of the six fingered scientist. "Great uncle Ford? Are you around here?" The boy called out with some trepidation at the seemingly empty room.

"Dipper, over here!" Called out Pacifica. The blond had opted to check the work desk where Ford had most likely conducted the experiment he'd mentioned last time the two had seen him, and while she didn't find any evidence such an experiment had happened, there was a note waiting on the desk.

_Gone out for a bit. Following a lead. Probably won't be back until morning._

_-Stanford_

The two teens held the quickly scribbled note between them for a long moment, trying to make sense of the thing. It would explain where Stanford had gone, but it was unusually sparse and crude in comparison to his usual writings. After sharing a look with his girlfriend, Dipper walked over to his bag of supplies and removed a small black light flashlight from it. A quick scan of the paper revealed more writing on the back of the note.

_Glad you remember our security measures. No need to worry about me. Sleep tight._

"Well, that's a little more reassuring. No one else knows about this second layer of messaging we use with each other, though I'm surprised he didn't explain his lead more in the invisible ink..." Dipper mused, looking hard at the paper with a hand on his chin before casting a quick look in Pacifica's direction. "Well, no one else but you now." He stated casually, causing the blond girl to blush a little at how casually Dipper accepted her into one of his secrets.

"Maybe that experiment he mentioned have him the lead he mentioned?" Pacifica posited, causing Dipper to warily nod his head. "That makes sense." He said, finding it logical but unable to shake some emotional uncertainty about the situation. "I mean, it makes sense he wouldn't want to let the trail go cold, and great uncle Ford's always been a night owl, so this all makes sense. I'm sure he's fine." The apprentice stated, before adding "I'm sorry for ruining the mood Paz."

"What!? Oh, no, Dipper, no need to apologize for that, it's perfectly natural to feel worried now, I feel worried too." The human girl answered quickly, though she did blush a little as their previous activities came back to her mind after the sudden loss of Ford had pushed them away entirely. Across from her, Dipper was blushing two for the same reasons.

"Oh, OK, good to know. Guess we just need to pass the night then, wait for him to come back tomorrow." Dipper stated awkwardly, getting a curt nod from Pacifica. The two were silent again for a long moment, before in a tone of admittance, Dipper burst out "Pacifica I'm sorry, things got way out of control back there, I shouldn't have..."

"Dipper I will not have you putting yourself down over this." The blond human cut him off with a suddenly strict tone of voice that was enough to make the human boy's mouth snap shut mid sentence. "I was enjoying myself just as much as you were back there, you didn't do anything wrong. You're both a perfect gentleman and an excellent kisser." Pacifica deliberately put on a tone of authority to say this, despite not having much other kissing experience to compare this to. However, her efforts worked despite this.

Dipper scratched the back of his head as his face lit up, feeling like the compliments were coming up and battering him with their positive reinforcement. "Wow, thanks Paz. You know, you were pretty good too."

This caused Pacifica's expression, which had shifted to arms crossed, eyes closed and haughty despite her significant blush to get noticeably flustered as her eyes opened and she got even redder. "Well, I mean, I don't actually have any experience with that activity, so like most things it must simply come naturally.' She spoke, getting a laugh out of Dipper with her playful arrogance.

"Hey, well, same here." He admitted, chuckling nervously now. Looking at the floor for a moment, he added that "I mean, I think that's why things went as crazy as they did back there. I mean, yes we've kissed already, back in the library, but this was really my first time like, really making out, you know? It just sort of hit me all at once that this was happening and I wanted more, I guess."

"Well, once again we're in the same boat, because that's really close to how I felt." Pacifica responded, getting a surprised look from Dipper before she harshly admitted that "Look, I didn't get a lot of physical affection growing up and you're my first boyfriend, so just the feeling of having you so close, sharing your... warmth, with me, it made me feel good. Like, really, REALLY good." As she said this, the human girl stepped closer to his boyfriend, who was now looking towards the floor with a blush and a soft smile on his face, feeling proud about making Pacifica feel that way despite himself.

"I, uh, had never really thought about that. Glad to have helped out." Dipper replied, a little nervously but still fairly composed even as Pacifica got closer to him. "You did a really good job making me feel good as well, P...Paz. I liked you knew when to take the lead, how could could kiss me hard sometimes and soft others, and, well... you're really beautiful, so of course that helps."

Her sultry steps towards Dipper stopped in place as now Pacifica was staring at her feet as well, floored and touched by the compliment. "...Thank you Dipper." She said after a moment. "I... you know I haven't felt very beautiful for awhile now." This statement seemed to stun the boy but she continued explaining before he could comment. "I know, I know, I remember you and Mabel showed me to value more than just my physical beauty, but... it's a lot like your birthmark. I spent my whole life with the best clothes, the best cosmetics and the best beauty treatment and as much as there was a hollow aspect to it... it did feel good, you know? I mean I can tell from how hard you were kissing me back there that you think I'm beautiful, and I shouldn't but so much value on that anyways... but it still feels weird." She admitted with a sigh. "I'm sorry, this all must sound really shallow and..."

Pacifica was abruptly silenced by Dipper closing the gap between them and giving her a hug, a long and warm one at that, trying to gently reassure her. "It's okay Pacifica. I understand." He spoke softly, causing her to closer her eyes and wrap her arms around him in return. "Like you said, it's like my birth mark. When something like that is a part of your identity for so long, you feel a certain emotional weight about it, even when it doesn't make sense or you know you should ignore those negative feelings. And, for what it's worth, I still think you're beautiful even without all that stuff."

"Thank you Dipper. That does make me feel a lot better." Pacifica admitted, before getting a bit of a sly expression and shooting back. "You know, you're pretty handsome yourself."

"Alright, now you're just trying to flatter me." Dipper answered in a playfully dismissive tone and a roll of his eyes. Pacifica however, seemed to take the whole statement extremely seriously.

"I'm serious Dipper." She said, putting her hands on her boyfriend's shoulders. "Growing up has been good for you. Your just strong and solid enough to be comforting without being overbearing, your face makes the best expressions, I like your messy hair, I think your birth mark is cute like I said earlier, and your eyes..." she admitted, looking deep into the orbs in question. "They show off your whole personality. Bright, intelligent and curious, fierce but compassionate." She explained in a voice that took Dipper's breath away.

"Wow... t...thanks Pacifica, I've never really had anyone complement me like that." Dipper admitted nervously, then ran his hand through his girlfriend's long blond hair. "I love how soft and luscious your hair is, I think you've got an awesome body, and well, I appreciate how sharp you are, you know? Sharp mind, sharp wits, sharp sense of humor... it makes you a blast to hang out with, I'm happy to be able to talk to someone who keeps up with everything I'm saying, and it makes it easier to bear when we're both feeling the same frustrations at the world." The boy explained, gradually getting more lost in Pacifica's eyes until he leaned in to kiss her, but was abruptly stopped by her palm on his lips.

"Not here." She said, grabbing Dipper by the collar and dragging him towards the couch. "My feet are getting tired."

"Oh, yeah, sure thing!" He answered, and soon the two were willingly sitting side by side on the couch, a sudden awkwardness between them as they realized how far they were going. Scratching the back of his head again, Dipper soon suggested with a nervous laugh "Look, maybe we should just watch a movie or something. I can boot up my laptop, and I'm pretty sure Star left us a magic bell to summon room service somewhere around here..."

"I'd like that Dipper." Pacifica responded with a sincere smile. "I'd like that a lot."

* * *

Ford was lost.

Well, not lost exactly, he'd gone exactly to where he meant to go, he just didn't know where that was. Magic was tricky like that.

As he met the enticing call of the golden light by passing the energy liquid past his lips Ford had at first simply sank into his chair, feeling the heavy parts of his mind, the pain and regret that had been caked in as permanent structural features of his personality, temporarily cease to exist. He could of stayed like that all night, but the unicorns came to him instead.

They pranced past the windows first, their rainbow golden hair trailing behind them like shooting stars. Ford had opened the window to let them in, but they simply taunted him, trotting across thin air and demanding he chase them, chase them into the sunset like he'd been chasing all his life. Despite the magical haze that was covering his brain, Ford still managed to remember something before he left. "Need to let those two know I'm gone, or they might think I'm just hiding in here." He muttered while scrawling down the first note, then picked it up to read this handiwork. _"This looks like an incredibly clumsy serial killer trying to divert suspicion. I've seen suicide notes that sounded more sincere than this." _He admitted to himself, prompting the use of the invisible ink on the back. With everything taken care of, Ford soon set off.

Now, the experienced scientist knew full well the world he was walking through wasn't real, he had enough experience with psychedelics to understand that right away, but he still probed the strange environments for symbolism of the hidden dream or signs of psychic attack. _"Lots of bright lights and flashing colors, possible connection to Mabel, cold ice despite the warm air, and of course I'm following unicorns, whose manes are key weapons against Bill."_

The world shifted and got brighter the longer the journey continued, and there times Ford didn't know who he was, at one point feeling like a mind without a body and at one point feeling like a body without a mind. Whenever his identity would slip away, his body would simply keep following the unicorns, until a projection of his inner conscious onto the riotous rainbow of colors environment could remind him who he was.

The journey, both the physical walking and the process of losing and regaining his mind several times, was well worth it however, at least in Ford's opinion. _"After all, I'm among the circle of unicorns now."_

Indeed, Ford now pictured himself as sitting cross legged amid a circling back of the strange, supernatural creatures, their flowing manes seeming to transition seamlessly between each other, creating a seamlessly impenetrable anti-Bill rainbow force-field. They were muttering something however, and Stanford had to strain to hear what it was.

_"Come to us Stanford." _The voice spoke, a harmonious choir pleading for help. _"Come to where you belong, where you've always searched to be. The magnet is a shadow, a dripping reflection of the true glory of understanding you've always longed for." _Then, the choir began to sound pained. _"It is not this one's place to die. Save us Stanford, save us from the rot and the severing. Save us from the queens."_

His sharp mind locking onto that relevant keyword, Stanford strained himself further, eyes closing shut even tighter for fear the world wouldn't be there when they opened, even as he felt the comforting light draining out the back of his eyeballs, leaving a burning sensation in his sinuses before being lost to the cold night air. "What about the queens? What are they planning? What is Bill up to!?"

_"Save us Stanford. Save HIM Stanford!" _Even though his eyes were tightly shut, the six fingered scientist could feel exactly who the herd was talking about.

"Mason..." he whispered with concern, feeling himself stricken enough to use the boy's real name.

_"A severing would bring his nightmares to life, living on all worlds, so they may devour his flesh and leave his shriveled mind naked before the lidless eye of providence."_

"MASON, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Ford shouted in concern. His head felt like it had a terrible pressure in it, and when he finally forced his eyes open the circling unicorns had somehow merged into a rainbow pinwheel reality that was slowly draining out of the stars, flowing down the drain at the beginning of the universe. He was falling but couldn't tell where, his vision seemed like it was fading but it was actually reality being drained of existence.

_"Plug the drain with mane Stanford Pines, find your way between the walls and cleave the world of nightmares!"_

"Mason! Mason! Can you hear me?"

"..."

"Mason... I will protect you, my son."

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

_Well, this fanfics unexpected, unplanned hiatus has finally come to an end! In a way I suppose I'm just being true to the source material, but dang did this take longer to write than I expected. I hope it was all worth it everyone!_

_So, here we are, first chapter in a post series finale world. It was a long road that was both weird and wild, beautiful and painful. I was certainly taken by surprise by some of the final directions the show took, and while I don't think this story will ultimately hem too close to that, there are a few ideas I'll probably end up using. Gosh, the beginning of this show just feels like it's so far away, so long ago. Things really ended up changing for the Star Vs cast over time in a way that I didn't get from Gravity Falls, or even Steven Universe. Adventure Time sort of captures this feeling of wistful time passing the best by comparison. I'm actually really happy this is the chapter I had to work on in the aftermath. A nice, emotional decompression chapter to work some of these feelings out with. I'll admit, I had this chapter ready to work on for awhile but it just came to a stop as I waited for the end to strike. Anyways, I hope all of you, my readers, are doing well in this time period, with a special well wishing going out to all my regular reviewers: Ronald reagan, OMAC001, and a very angry ravage, I appreciate the support you guys and all the other reviewers provide. Stay strong everyone._

_Also need to give shout outs to SavemefromBordom whose excellent abridged series style rewrite of the show fic was the source of the line "your magical girlfriend from another dimension." _


	11. Plans In Motion

**Author's Notes: At last, I have come back. I would first like to sincerely apologize for the intense delay anyone following my stories has experienced, I do not wish to go into detail but it has been a troubled time for me recently, as I have experienced a personal loss recently. The more time passes however, the more writing these stories goes from being difficult to being an act of relief, so hopefully things will improve from here on out. Now, on a brighter note, this chapter is actually a part of a hiatus ending double feature special return on my part, as my other active fanfiction, whose story runs concurrently with this one, is also updated today! Whether you follow just this one or both my works, I hope this return is worth the wait and that you enjoy what you read. I'd like to thank everyone who has and continues to support me on these stories and shares their thoughts on them. **

* * *

In a far off, isolated corner of the multiverse, where the song of the spheres sits silent and muted and dark cave walls block out the dancing lights of eternity, the only sound is the almost inaudible rippling of a wooden spoon stirring a pot of soup. Sitting by himself, alone in the dark and still dead somewhere in the multiverse, is Sir Glossaryck of Terms, trying to get the thick broth just right.

As he sank the spoon beneath the liquid surface again in an effort to fish out a prime piece of vegetable, the magistrate of the Magical High Commission quietly commented to himself "You sure are Star. You and him both." with a satisfied tone of voice. However, after the spoon emerged from the soup with its catch, something unexpected rolled to the surface behind it, something that would cause most soup drinkers to recoil in horror: A naked, unblinking eye.

Glossaryck, on the other hand, simply tasted his spoonful before going back for more, even as the broth flowed in waves to simulate blinking over the eye and the whole surface began to glimmer and flatten out, becoming still and turning into a reflective surface that the meat and vegetable chunks still floated through. A cacophony of TV static briefly flashed across the now mirror like surface, before revealing the true image beneath, the continence of Bill Cipher. The floating eyeball, now at the center of the yellow pyramid reflecting in the soup, rolled to gaze upon the still unperturbed Glossaryck. "Hmm, needs more salt." He remarked while smacking his lips. "Bill, what do you think?"

"WELL IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SALT OL' PAL GLOSSARYCK I CAN HELP YOU OUT THERE BY BURNING MEWNI TO THE GROUND AND SALTING THE EARTH SO NOTHING CAN LIVE THERE AGAIN." Bill spoke in response, his true voice ringing out across the barren space as his reflection flashed in time to his words. "BUT ENOUGH ABOUT PLEASURE, LET'S TALK BUSINESS! HOW IS YOUR VACATION GOING GLOSSARYCK, HAVING FUN BEING DEAD!?"

"Well, if you don't mind me saying so I'm having a lot more fun with it then you apparently did." Glossaryck responded, getting a small smile of satisfaction at Bill giving one angry blink in response. "Invoking the deep lattices of time magic to avoid a little trip to the other side, Bill? I'm finding the whole thing quite therapeutic, the quiet does wonders for the mind. Perhaps you should try it sometime." Despite the sage's deadpan taunts, when the dream demon spoke again however, he was right back to his signature voice of free wheeling charm.

"YEAH, INTERESTING EXPERIENCE, 1 OUTTA 5 STARS GET THEIR WINGS PULLED OFF, DON'T RECOMMEND." Bill babbled with a dismissive tone of voice before adding "ANYWAYS, JUST THOUGHT I'D CHECK IN ON YOU AND HEY! YOU'RE STILL DEAD! AS SOON AS THE PSYCHODELICS PASS OUT OF THIS DEMON'S SYSTEM I'LL BE ABLE TO PLAY THE WINNING MOVE IN OUR EONS LONG GAME!"

"So, come to gloat then? Really Bill, I thought an all powerful mind demon of the Nightmare Realm would be above such petty taunting." Glossaryck responded with a disappointed tone of voice. Then, with a smug smile, he asked "Are you sure you're not... worried? Come to make sure I'm still dead?"

"WORRIED!? EVEN IF I AM THE EXCEPTION TO YOUR NON-LINEAR OMNISCIENCE YOU SHOULD STILL KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW I'M NEVER WORRIED!" Bill responded confidently. "EVEN IF IT TAKES ME BILLIONS OF YEARS, WHEN I VOW TO DESTROY A DIMENSION IT MAKES LIKE A PINE TREE AND BURNS TO THE GROUND!"

"Yes, of course. Old never worried Bill. Maybe you should use some of your mind reading powers on me to see if I believe that?" Glossaryck asked with smug, taunting tone to his voice despite the delicacy of everything he said, revealing in the dance he was performing around their delicate mutual weaknesses to each other. The soup displaying Bill's image bubbled with some ferocity at this comment.

"YOU KNOW GLOSSARYCK, I THINK I MIGHT HATE YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU HATE YOUR CHILDREN." The dream demon responded venomously, but this got no reaction from the sage of the spellbook. "I ALMOST HATE YOU AS MUCH AS I HATE THE TIME BABY."

Now that managed to offend Glossaryck. "Oh Bill, I'm hurt. I'm three times, minimum, the annoyance that non-euclidean toddler could ever hope to be. I have far more experience being vexing, after all." He said, a seemingly genuinely hurt tone to his voice. "I've certainly assembled a more impressive resistance to your influences than the Time Baby and his ridiculous agents ever posed after all."

At this point, Bill's nasally but sinister laugh began to fill the cavern, resonating off the black, empty walls of the place. "YOU MAY HAVE CREATED THE QUEENS OF MEWNI AS YOUR PAWNS, BUT JUST LIKE THE MAGICAL HIGH COMMISSION THEY'VE TURNED THEIR BACKS ON YOU! PINE TREE, ALWAYS TOO CLEVER FOR HIS OWN GOOD, TRICKED ONE OF HEARTS INTO LEAVING YOU DEAD, AND I'VE LAID MY INFLUENCE INTO THE OTHER ONES LONG AGO! MY PIECES ARE PUTTING YOU INTO CHECKMATE GLOSSARYCK!"

With a chiding sound of _tut-tut _Glossaryck again spoke to Bill with that unreadable expression of confidence. "Well, things haven't exactly been going swimmingly for your pieces either, have they Bill? The lineage of queens I created to oppose you still stands and rules the dimension of Mewni, after all, where as the legion of demons you spawned from across the multiverse to be your own pieces live under the queen's yoke and had their royal family slaughtered by dark magic comparatively recently after a long period of time wasting away as two dimensional isolationists steadily decaying under a lineage of random goofy idiots too proud to breed with anything but themselves." The air hung silently between the two for a moment, before the blue humanoid added, with a small smile, that "They'll probably transition to parliamentary democracy within four generations."

The air was silent for a moment, Bill clearly stewing in anger at this last comment. Inside his strange, triangular mind the dream demon was having memories of home, something that never failed to upset him.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF EACH TIMELINE HAVING ITS OWN VERSION OF YOU IS?"

"That every timeline will be guided to its needed outcome by an all seeing, emotionless meddler?"

"IT MEANS THAT WHEN I UNLEASH THE POWER OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM TO CLEAVE APART THE FABRIC OF ALL DIMENSIONS AND DEVOUR THE WEB OF TIME, I'M GOING TO GET TO KILL YOU OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, EACH DEATH INFINITELY MORE PAINFUL THAN THE LAST!" Suddenly, static began to flicker across the surface of the soup again, prompting Bill to quickly mutter one last parting phrase as he vanished. "WELL IT'S BEEN A HOOT BUT MY HOST IS SHORTING OUT AGAIN! HAVE FUN BEING DEAD, I KNOW I DIDN'T!"

Alone again, floating in the void, Glossaryck let out a sigh of contentment. Dipping his spoon back down into the now normal pot of soup, he chuckled to himself.

"Ah, cleaved. Now that's a funny word..."

* * *

The office of the Queen of Mewni hummed with a familiar business, the gentle scratching of a feathered pen against a scroll filling the air. For this round of paperwork. Moon was joined by King River, who was standing nearby with a long scroll recounting Mewman military statistics, which he would provide on request.

Almost inperceptively, a small and far off noise joined the cacophony of quill writings. Despite being overpowered for the moment by the sound of writing, Queen Moon managed to perceive the familiar sound through her own work and abruptly stilled her hand in response, while letting out a sigh and removing her reading glasses. His curiosity peaked, the king asked "What's troubling you Moonpie?"

In response, the new sound gradually grew into a loud stomp and reached its climax when Princess Star kicked the door to her mother's office open. In something of an unusual sight her door kicking actually seemed to be justified by necessity in this incident, as both of her hands were occupied gripping a large object slung over her shoulder.

"Good afternoon Star, what vital matter has brought... you..." Moon had begun her greeting in the tired, somewhat sarcastic but straining to sound nurturing tone she usually used when confronted with her daughter's oddities, but this time her voice trailed off into genuine gobsmacked befuddlement.

"Star." The Queen said, in a tone that was not yet angry but was firmly demanding an explanation for this nonsense. "Why have you brought a young man trapped in a net into my office?"

On the other side of the desk, the fair haired princess of Mewni was panting slightly from exertion while also having a nervous, uncertain look on her face that she tried to plaster a smile over. The source of her exertion was traveling up the stairs with a game net slung over her shoulders, and trapped inside the closed net was Marco Diaz. "Umm... hey mom! Hey dad!" Star began a little awkwardly while Marco shifted around in the net a little but otherwise stayed quiet.

On the other side of the desk, Moon was leaning on her elbow in support and had the other hand up with index finger raised to pontificate a question that never came as her mouth hung open in silent, confused shock. River kept more professional, standing upright and remaining quiet for the moment, though he did narrow his eyes at the two teenagers and was examining them intently.

Setting down the full net with an unusual amount of care for the rebel princess, Star did her best to keep her eyes meeting her mother's even as they wanted to look somewhere else and explained. "So... this is my new boyfriend!"

Both the older royals were quiet for a very long moment, looking straight at the two teenagers, who were beginning to break out into sweat. The silence was finally broken when King River threw his hands into the air and exclaimed "Congratulations Star! You even got the right kind of netting, let me see if you did the courting knot correctly..." As the blond monarch walked towards the net and examined the neck of it with an approving tone, Star kept her eyes on the parent she was most concerned about, her mother.

Queen Moon, for her part, was simply holding the side of her head with one hand while the other tapped against the desk, her whole posture expressing annoyance. "Star, why is Marco inside a net inside my office?"

"Oh Moonpie, don't be silly! Marco is gone forever, remember?" King River spoke up with a bluntly cheery voice as he carefully examined a red sleeved hand he'd pulled through the net mesh. Remaining oblivious to the weary noise and expression Marco was making in the bag, he _hmmed_ and then stated "Very good bone structure on this one though, if worst comes to worst he'll make a most impressive edifice!" Chuckling slightly to himself, the king elbowed the boy in the net in a ribbing manner, jokingly asking "But I'm sure it won't come to that! I am very confident that this young man knows very well he will die if he betrays my princess." After an uncomfortable silence, he cheerfully added "Screaming!"

Inside the net Marco was had just gotten his arm back and was trying to crane his neck to look up at Star inquisitively, but was having a bit of trouble on that front. "Star, is there a part of this that you didn't explain to me?"

Shaking both her hands at him in a quietly dismissive gesture, Star tried to whisper "It's fine, I'll explain later, we don't actually have to do anything, uh..." Breaking contact with Marco to look back at her mother, the princess hurriedly made up an explanation that she thought would keep her father content, having lost track of the priorities they'd discussed earlier. "No, mom, you see, this is, uh, this is... Barco... Barkerson."

"Wait, wait, time out, Star why are we lying about my identity? That wasn't part of the plan. Alright, I'm coming out of the net..." the boy spoke, now actively struggling with the net in an attempt to get out and stand up straight, only to become still after realizing he wasn't making any progress against his girlfriend's excellently tied knots. "Star, could you let me out of the net?"

"But you haven't even hung him up from the engagement pole yet!"

"RIVER!" Moon yelled, more firm in voice than loud in volume but clearly expressing annoyance. Letting out a sigh, she recited that "We have been over this! Star is not going to practice the barbaric mating rituals of your Clan, she is going to be courted and wed as a Butterfly! Honestly, it is the least I ask of you two..." before abruptly stopping, having her pupils shrink in realization, then abruptly straighten her posture out and look straight at Star, speaking in a comforting but demanding to know tone of voice. "Star... how long have you been... _courting _Marco for?"

"Moon, dearest, I know you had high hopes for the human boy, and of course so did I, but we need to keep and open mind about Star's new choice of boyfriend. She got him inside the net after all!" River replied in a soothing, completely sincere tone of voice before turning back to the teen couple, right as Star was helping her boyfriend to his feet after slicing open the net with a magic beam. Marco stood up to full height with a small frown and waited for River to respond, but the flaxen haired king simply kept up his supportive smile, until the boy unzipped his hoodie to let River's parting gift to him be seen underneath. "I say Star, your new boyfriend has impeccable tastes! That's a meat blanket befitting a king, haha!"

Another uncomfortable silence passed the room for a few seconds until River abruptly sniffed the air and his expression fell as a familiar blend of meat and sauce residue hit his nostrils. "Oh dear."

"Alright, Star, I'm going to officially mark this plan down as having not worked."

"Really, Mister Diaz? Because I think it has conveyed all the necessary information." Moon spoke up, now leaning back into her chair, giving the boy a piercing expression and making a pyramid of thought with her hands. "How long, exactly, have you and my daughter been... courting each other in the Johansen manner?" she asked accusingly.

Marco gulped nervously at the cold tone the queen had taken but Star was quick to take a step forward and defend him with passion in her voice. "Relax mom, it isn't like that! Marco just got back to Mewni a little over a day ago and we worked everything out and decided to date each other in like, the last eight hours or something. I just figured we'd do the traditional thing because, I don't know, I thought it would make thing easier!"

"That's quite a short amount of time to think this over young lady!" Moon said with a new, highly haughty tone of voice. "And in such a troubled time? Star are you sure you want to bother yourself with this... rabble?"

"More sure then I've ever been of anything else." Star said back firmly, drilling a stare into the now flat, neutral eyes of her mother. "And this isn't just some sudden spark flash fire of love. I've... WE'VE had feelings about each other for awhile, big, you know... DEEP feelings that grow their way into you heart and hurt so much when they're rejected but feel SOOOOOO good when he loves you back!" The princess explained, her voice impassioned and soaring every couple of words as she tried to express months of emotion. "We just... both did stupid things that kept us apart, but now I'm sure more than ever that I want Marco Diaz to be my boyfriend!"

As soon as her daughter had stopped speaking, though she was still huffing in place with built up energy, Moon Butterfly cracked a small but deeply warm smile at the two of them. "Well then, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't be."

Both teen seemed to be stunned and deflated by this easy acceptance, leaving both at a loss for words that gave both parents a slight chuckle at how cute the children were being. "I'm sorry, both of you, I simply had to make sure the feelings here are, well, genuine." Moon explained, before shifting her focus to Marco specifically. "Mister Diaz, I think you are a fine young man who has proven himself a determined ally of the Kingdom of Mewni with your actions during Toffee's invasion and a trustworthy friend of the royal family for you excellent service to and protection of Star during your time as her guide to Earth, wand incident excluded of course..." She explained, before turning her attention to Star. "Your father and I would have been fine with you dating him Star, we just thought, well... we thought you weren't interested in him."

Upon seeing how strange Star considered that line of thought based on her facial expression, River opted to elaborate. "You see Star, we, and perhaps your mother and I simply hadn't paid close enough attention to understand correctly, it has been a chaotic time you know, we were, well, under the impression you two were simply, well, very close friends, with you in particular not having that sort of interest in him." River explained in a casual tone of voice. "You are the princess of Mewni and the Butterfly heir Star, if you truly want someone there is nothing stopping you from having them you know."

"Although, that would explain why you started using a portrait of that human girl as an archery target as soon as Marco went home." River mused with a bit of beard stroking, completely oblivious to the mortified look on Star's face and the increasingly disturbed and sardonic look Marco was shooting her. "Was there some other kind of problem on Earth sweetie? After all, if the ONLY thing that was stopping you two from getting together was some contesting harlot, well, a little Tournament of Love would have taken quick care of that, not to mention all the other options available to a woman of your station and natural bloodthirst..."

"OKAY DAD! WE GET IT! I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GUYS THOUGHT WHAT YOU DID, NO NEED TO GO INTO ALLLLLL THE WEIRD DETAILS!" Star burst out, steadily feeling more frustrated and humiliated until she could only hang her head low and let her long blond hair cover her face. Marco's expression, in turn, swiftly shifted from being put off and annoyed by all this to concerned and caring, instinctively putting a reassuring hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. Feeling warmed by this gesture, Star was able to lift her head up and speak with a more serious, though mildly apprehensive tone. "So... is that it? Are you guys okay with this?"

Moon let out a sort of a happy sigh at this and looked at her daughter with both the pride and the sadness a parent feels as their child grows into an adult. Getting up from behind her desk, the queen of Mewni put a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder and looked down at her with a warm expression. "Oh, my little Starlight... of course I am. I had decided long ago that, while I would endeavor to instruct you to be the most responsible princess possible, I would always allow your love life to be your own. Besides..." she added, a rarely heard playful, satirical tone coming on the heels of Moon's impassioned response. "...putting you in an arranged marriage would end in a disaster. Whatever gains the Kingdom of Mewni might reap from forcing you into a marriage you'd just rebel against would inevitably end up cancelled out by the outrage you generate by blowing up the castle. Or the dimension. Or the husband."

"And Marco my boy, I must apologize to you personally." King River spoke up, placing a warm but heavy hand on the earth boy's shoulder. "I... well, I really did think you were gone forever, you must understand! After our adventure in the dungeons together I was growing quite fond of you, but with Star seemingly not interested enough in you to break out the old courting net and her time on Earth at an end, well..." His explanation sort of sputtering out near the end. "I wanted to give you a goodbye present, but, well, if nothing was going to become of you I couldn't really give you anything valuable, you understand. Marriages are for consolidating power and artifacts after all."

"It's alright your majesty, that all makes sense I guess." Marco answered, still finding this a little strange and annoying but fully ready to accept and move past all this withe Butterfly parents' blessing. "But, hey, based on the fact you could recognize it by smell, this meat cape must have been valuable to you, right? And in the end, that's all the matters, isn't it?"

Letting out a chuckle and leaning his head back, River offered the boy a strong but friendly slap on the back and responded "Well said my boy! Well said." Then, still in his happy tone of voice, the king swiftly added "Now, make my daughter happy or I'll disembowel you!"

"Thank you mom, and thank you dad! I'm sure me and Marco will be happy together, happy and safe." Star spoke up, quickly adding the safe bit as it occurred to her that her parents would probably enjoy hearing that, and that it was true. "I love him, and I know he loves me."

The three members of the royal family spontaneously closed together into a hug, each feeling the impulse coming from the other two to draw the mass together. As the two parents hugged their daughter with closed eyes and happy expressions, Marco felt his heart melting and expression lifting at the sight. Throwing open his arms, he took a step forward to join them but found himself pushed back, albeit gently, by Moon's wandless magic. The three separated when they were ready, and the queen swiftly addressed the boy with a cheerful "It's still early. Do not give us cause to be upset with you." before turning her attention back to Star. "I'm so glad you decided to bring this to us. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Star's genuinely happy expression was suddenly twinged by a small amount of uncertainty. "Weeeeeeell..." she said with a bit of wince, wary of ruining the mood, bending to one side out of nerves but knowing she had to go through and mention it while everyone was in a good mood. "There is this one thing..."

Moon could tell her daughter was planning to drop something she knew her mother wouldn't approve of while the older woman was in a good mood, but consciously blinked back the annoyance this usually caused. The queen didn't want to ruin this touching moment the sometimes strained Butterfly family had shared with each other, and she had been trying to be more open minded about Star since Toffee's invasion. With a nod, Moon indicated she was listening.

"Well, I've been thinking, and I've talked it over with the Pines Family and they'd be willing to help me, what if the best way to... investigate those weapons the monsters have is a with big par- I mean, diplomatic ball." Star explained, thinking back to the flashcards she and Marco had practiced with to phrase the request in more formal language, and being reminded by a small elbow poke from the boy when she was about to misspeak. "With Buff Frog help we can make some friends, get people talking, calm things down on that front and let you deal with the Underworld while we search out Bill!"

Star was obviously nervous about how her mother would respond to this, but rather than be dismissive or even angry like the princess had worried she might, Moon instead became wary and concerned. "Star, dearest... think about what you are proposing here. You want to go out and hold diplomatic meetings with _monsters. _That is an endeavor that is doomed conceptually."

Star frowned at this response but didn't respond as fiercely to it as she normally would, as rather than sounding scolding or hateful, Moon's voice was entirely filled with genuine concern for her daughter. She wasn't sure how to respond at first, but fortunately King River was the next to speak up. "But my dear, the fact of the matter is that the Lucitor's have been having such meetings. It's difficult to say how much influence they have over the tribes and villages." He presented in a hesitant, apologetic tone, steadily getting more certain as he talked about their child. "Even if Star fails to sway any of them we'll at least have a chance to learn where they stand instead. I have confidence she will get her answers however." Then, with a slightly darker tone, he added "It would improve our situation significantly if we had more troops available to act against the Underworld."

_"Star would be going into the monster's den if she goes off to negotiate with those savages. It would be the same mistake that mother had made." _Moon thought to herself, keeping a well practiced steady expression even as the memory stung at her. _"But Star isn't exactly like mother, is she?" _A newer, more recent voice argued instead. _"Baby said it herself, she has the most magic potential of any Queen since Eclipsa, and Star has always been a warrior and fighter, she'll have Marco and the other Earth humans watching her back, and whatever else I think of them they're all clearly capable, so she won't be going in alone..."_

As Moon remained quiet for longer then expected, everyone in the room gained an expression of somewhat nervous anticipation. They all realized the queen was making her decision. _"Most importantly, Toffee is dead. He is dead! The monsters have no leadership left to guide them in an assassination plot. And she somehow seems to have personal contacts among the monsters..." _As Moon's immediate emotional response to Star's idea was countered by a logical counterargument, the real gears of her brain began to truly turn, considering the full range of possibilities.

"Very well Star." Queen Moon spoke suddenly and curtly.

The princess had been primed to begin arguing her case further as soon as her mother responded without really listening to her. Luckily, Marco had figured something like that might happen and when Moon replied affirmatively, he cut his girlfriend off with a polite "Thank you for hearing Star out."

This delayed the younger royal long enough for her to actually process what her mother had said and respond more appropriately. "Well... thanks! I guess!? Wow, today turned out a lot easier than I had expected!" Star exclaimed cheerfully before throwing the net back over an equally grinning Marco and turning towards the door with him over her shoulder again. "Thanks again for everything mom and dad!"

"Star, is there anything you need as part of this endeavor of yours? Supplies, assistance?" Moon asked her departing daughter, who relied "No worries mom, I mean I'll keep you updated but we got this!" and soon after slammed the door behind her. Now alone again with her husband and king, Queen Moon had a slightly annoyed expression of her face as she straightened some files and went back to work with a muttered "Well then..."

At her side, King River could feel the smile on his own face and privately appreciated that this was probably the least upset he had ever seen his wife in the aftermath of a discussion with their daughter. And yet, he still had a few small, nagging doubts. "I must admit, I share some of Star's surprise Moonpie. I wouldn't have expected you to agree to something like this so quickly."

"Well, if it goes badly we can always betray them later. The monsters, I mean." Moon replied casually as she wrote a fresh signature onto the top paper of her work pile. A small jolt of surprise went through River's body and after a moment, Moon put the paper down and with a worried sigh began an explanation, clearly trying to calm herself in the process. "I understand the danger involved, but Star is capable, has a sizable collection of allies backing her, and Toffee is dead. Sending her out to do this is an opportunity we can't pass by."

"An... opportunity?" River asked, his tone making it clear he hadn't even considered whatever possibility his wife had in mind.

"Mewni has a lot of problems going on at the moment River, and I am not going to take for granted that Star is genuinely interested in solving one of them for once." Moon replied, her previous worry gone and her voice becoming didactic. "With Star going after Bill Cipher and sowing chaos into the Lucitor's diplomatic network among the monsters, I can focus on the Underworld itself."

"But, Moonpie... what if she actually succeeds, and signs some kind of accord? Are you making her a diplomatic representative for this?"

Moon just seemed to hmm a little at this, her focus back on the papers she was writing onto. "Everything Star does will have to be approved by me River, don't worry." She replied dismissively, but with a little more of a serious tone of voice added "And hopefully all this running around will keep her away from Eclipsa."

* * *

The two teens walked briskly from the office of the Queen, having broken into a mutual laughing burst that the whole ridiculous thing had worked, and halfway down the hallway Star had finally realized she needed to let Marco out of the net. After he stood up with a small amount of content blushing the boy quickly kept pace with Star, the two walking side by side as easily as ever.

"Alright, what's going on with Mewni?" Marco finally asked as their journey continued. "You wanted to keep the mood fun yesterday and that was fine, but I want to know what's going on." Then, his tone abruptly turned more worried. "Is it Toffee? Is he alive somehow?"

Biting her lower lip, Star felt a wave of guilt wash over her for allowing her boyfriend to be burdened by thoughts of such worst case scenarios. "Oh, no, no no no no no no no no, no Marco. Toffee is dead. Gone forever." The fair haired princess explained, sharply exhaling as she spoke, as if the words were directed at herself as well. "We checked under the pillar and made sure to destroy the rest of him. What's going on now... well, it's just political stuff. Strained relationships with the Underworld in the aftermath of the invasion."

Though Marco's face did visibly lighten upon being reassured Toffee was dead, he was still expressing concern. "Well, if you'd like I can try and talk to Tom, if that would help, maybe we could..."

"REALLY, Marco, that's not necessary!" Star burst out, sounding more concerned now as the connecting spark in her brain finally gave clarity to the surge of anxiety and hesitation she had felt when this question had been asked yesterday. _"Tom and Marco cannot come face to face. If either of them find out what the other did they'll try and kill each other, and that will end in Marco being dead." _she realized, an abrupt expression of worry crawling onto her face. Looking back at her boyfriend, Star concluded that "Mom and Dad will clear things up with the Underworld but I need to take this opportunity to reach out to the monsters, you know, throw them a party instead of a counterattack, build good will?"

Her tone had become one of desperation and Marco was now looking at his girlfriend with obvious concern and skepticism, still seemingly determined to get to the bottom of things. Internally sighing, Star thought to herself _"I'm sorry Marco, I do this to keep you safe." _then took a step forward and wrapped an arm around Marco's torso, letting her right hand rest softly on his back. The boy instantly stiffened up at this and his quizzical expression became very bright and flustered instead. "Please Marco, this party means a lot to me. I know Dipper and Pacifica will help me out with it..."

Then her right hand moved a little lower.

"...but I'd really appreciate having you on hand for this." Star said, inching closer and giving him her widest, cutest looking eyes on top of everything else.

"...OK, yeah, sure thing Star. I'll help you out with the monster hullabaloo, sure thing." Marco responded after a few seconds of blank thought, his previous concerns completely evaporated. _"You know what? Whatever's going on with the Underworld is not my problem. I'm going to help my girlfriend and see where that takes me!"_

"Great!" Star exclaimed happily, jumping back from him with a string to her step, though a second later she leaned back in to deliver a quick smooch, in response to which Marco developed a very sedate but very deep grin as blush spread over his cheeks. "Well, no time to waste then, we have plans to make and nachos to bake!" The princess explained before turning around and setting a swift pace towards their mutual destination.

Once she was looking away from her boyfriend however, a short lived steely gaze did settle over Star's normally soft features. _"Don't you worry that pretty head about a thing Marco. I'll take care of Tom myself." _she thought to herself, before being roused from her self-reflection by Marco speaking up from beside her. After a moment of determined heroic thought however, Star abruptly realized her boyfriend was trying to talk to her, and quickly sputtered "I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

Marco, now with a playful look on his face, seemed downright eager to repeat that "I was saying, you're at least going to have to show me what courting _in the Johansen manner _is."

"Marco! Don't be gross!" Star exclaimed with giggles to her voice, giving her boyfriend a playful punch on the arm in response as the two walked and laughed together.

"What!? I'm not being gross, I just wanted to know what the net was all about!" Marco said back, equally giggly now and enjoying life to the fullest. "You never explained that, you just said it would help me make a better impression on your parents."

"Ok, well, so when two people are in love in dad's tribe, they take turns trying to kidnap each other, dragging the other person back to their home village in a net! How often either person succeeds has something to do with whose family everyone becomes a part of, I don't know." Star explained hurriedly.

"Really?" Marco responded, clearly finding the whole idea absurd but still sounding amused by the whole conversation. _"Objectively that's pretty creepy, but Star can make anything sound endearing." _He thought to himself, before deciding to press his luck and continue exploring this topic. With a over-dramatic crossing of his arm over his forehead, he sarcastically exclaimed "Well, this castle already treats me so horribly as a guest, I can't imagine being a prisoner here."

"Keep talking like that Earth boy and I might just have a private cell arranged for you where I can keep you forever." Star shot back, giving him a wink as the two smoothly and easily transitioned into flirting with each other as if they'd been dating for years. "Oh, and the pole thing they mentioned in the second phase: Whoever got captured the most goes back in the net and then has to spend a day hung up from a pole, the winner and their friends has to guard them, and any romantic rivals have one last occasion to try and win them back by fighting everyone and lowering the net down."

"Wow, sounds intense." Marco answered, finding the whole thing genuinely interesting.

"Yeah, so I'd stay on the queen's good side Diaz, or else she might decide to let me court you my way!" Star responded, saying all this in a playful tone that never the less still carried a tone of viciousness to it. Marco couldn't help but shake the impression that Star might genuinely enjoy hunting him down to trap in a net, and to make things worse he felt confused about the idea instead of just feeling upset like a normal person would be. Before the sweat could really start flowing down his palms, the boy opted to play it off with a joke.

"Hey, don't get ahead of yourself Butterfly, casa de Diaz may not have a dungeon, but it does have an endless supply of authentic Super Awesome Nachos. If I got you back there it's be harder to make you leave!"

The two shared another round of laughter together, which gradually trailed off naturally a few seconds after Star had come to a stop in the middle of a four sided hallway intersection. "Oh, oh, Marco, you're as right as you are cute!" The princess said cheerfully. "Could you head off the other way and get Dipper and Pacifica for me? I need to make a few calls and will meet you in the planning room we decided to use earlier."

"It would be my most sincere pleasure." Marco responded in a faux-knightly voice while making an exaggerated, dance like bow that got a small giggle from Star. "See you in a bit." He said while popping to his full height, smooching his girlfriend on the lips, then heading off down the appropriate hallway.

"Bye Marco! Buh-bye!" Star waved goodbye excitedly, though as soon as the boy was out of sight she became more serious of expression. Her eyes shifted towards the hallway that would lead back to her room, where her full sized mirror phone awaited... then took off down the fourth possibly hallway while readying her pocket phone to make her calls on the fly. She'd have to make her calls for help on her way to the rose garden.

* * *

Back in the room given to the first three from Earth, Dipper and Pacifica were waking up, having nodded off and slumped over onto each other's shoulders while watching a movie the boy had saved to his laptop for the frequent occasions on which the internet vanished back at home. Well, Pacifica had landed on Dipper's shoulder at least, the boy was a little further up the couch and thus had his face closer to his girlfriend's hair; still as blond and voluminous as when they'd met, but now bereft of top dollar shine and styling.

Pacifica was the first of the two to open her eyes, casting her eyes up at her boyfriend and giving him a small smile. "Hey."

Dipper, for his part, had been half-awake up until she said that, generally aware of where he was but only experiencing it really passively. While getting his head together, the boy first realized that he was leaning up against Pacifica's hair, he took an impulsive, subdued but still audible sniff second, and only realized how weird that would be third. Now fully awake and feeling awkwardly over-aware of his posture, Dipper offered a quick and obviously flustered "Hi." in response, squeaking the word out while sliding to the edge of the couch.

Looking a little flustered herself, the blond sat up straighter while unconsciously running a hand over her hair. "Well, good morning to you too." She said with a bit of a huff, but when it when Dipper's expression was displaying clear mortification at his action, Pacifica's tone lightened. "Hey, if you liked that you should try again after I've actually showered." She had said that with a chuckle, but her expression fell a little bit afterwards.

Across the couch, Dipper had wrapped his arms around his folded up legs and pulled his knees close enough to cover the lower part of his blushing face. After a few moments of silence, he found his creaky voice asking "...Really?"

"I...you...no! I was being sarcastic!" Pacifica responded, clearly surprised by his response and feeling a little embarrassed by her own words in hindsight. She had chucked a pillow at his face on reflex but regretted that as soon as it left her hand. "Look, what just happened was fine, that was just... not intentional, but I do not want you just randomly smelling my hair Dipper!" Then, crossing her arms over her chest and literally sticking her nose up, the earth girl added "Besides, between my trips to the wilds and the city outside the castle I think the smell from this dimension has already settled in, and I don't even think the people who live here enjoy that."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short. Even years and adventures later you still kind of have that faint champagne smell about you, up really close at least. Besides, I've been living in a cheap tourist trap stuffed with crappy taxidermy for a few years now. Mewni doesn't bother me that much so far." Dipper responded, and while he used a jokey tone of voice at first, he was looking nervous after a few more quiet seconds between the two. "I'm sorry, I won't do that again."

Letting out a sigh, Pacifica began to get off the couch. "It's fine, we're both still learning the ins and outs of relationships after all. Don't beat yourself up over it, and if I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me."

"Right, of course. Still, I'm sorry for ruining the morning." Dipper said nervously while getting up himself and starting to check around for any indication that Grunkle Ford had either returned or tried to contact the two.

"Ruining is an exaggeration Dipper, it was just a little strange is all. Far from the strangest thing I've seen you do even." Pacifica spoke back, wanting to but the boy at a little more ease. "Besides, I AM still glad to hear I don't smell like trash, haven't quite hit rock bottom yet. It's a slippery slope once you're reduced to buying store brand beauty products..." Though she said her last line with an air of self-depreciating snark, Dipper's response was unexpectedly sincere.

"Well, for what it's worth, I never saw the appeal of that kind of stuff anyways." He commented while shifting through the bag of books Ford had brought to Mewni at some point on a supply trip back to earth. "I mean, think about if... ah, I probably shouldn't say it."

"No, please, continue Pines, I'm curious as to what you were about to say." Pacifica asked, tone of voice a little demanding now. _"What, does he think I can get even worse somehow?"_

Now prompted to continue, Dipper shrugged and began to speak his mind. "Well, what if we were, you know, doing some kissing, but you had a bunch of makeup on. I mean, would it get all over my face? I have allergies you know Pacifica. There's a reason that 100% of all the makeup to ever be stored in the Mystery Shack has belonged to Mabel." He said, tone getting a little sarcastic at the end but earlier sounding like he was genuinely wondering. His girlfriend felt surprised by this explanation, and needed a few moments to compose a response.

"Well, play your cards right and maybe I'll demonstrate the appeal." Pacifica said, in the most overly teasing tone of voice she'd used so far today.

Suddenly feeling very put on the spot and desperate for a response as his brain came up with several interpretations of what that would entail then battled itself over which one Pacifica had meant, Dipper, in response, blurted out "Uh, no worries Paz, your personality is appeal enough."

Before this conversation could continue, knocking came from the door. Soon after, it was joined by the voice of Marco Diaz. "Yo, Earth bros! Are you guys awake yet? Star is getting the planning meeting for the diplomatic visit set up, you're both still coming, right?" After a moment's pause, he added "Can I come in?"

Visibly becoming more confident and serious looking as soon as the mission was mentioned, Dipper looked over at Pacifica, who nodded at him. Neither of them were dressed for the day, still in the now wrinkled clothes they'd worn yesterday, but they didn't really mind the other human seeing them in those. "Sure, come on in."

The door opened with reasonable force, and the boy in the red hoodie let out an appreciative whistle as he surveyed the room. "Niiiiice. Star set you guys up with the luxury suite, didn't she? Did, uh, any rooms get sucked into a black hole before she got it right?" He asked casually, before his eyes widened as a result of passing over the equipment spilling out of an open, wood carved chest. When he spoke again it was also in an appreciative tone, but with much more genuine wonder and less irreverence. "Woah, you guys came packing..." He breathed while looking at but not touching the collection of scientific instruments and weaponry, not able to tell the two categories apart with total certainty.

"All of that is hand built by Stanford Pines, the most amazing scientist of the modern age!" Dipper spoke with no small amount of pride in his voice, while stepping into place at Marco's right side. Ford would typically get embarrassed when his apprentice introduced him with such grandiose terms, but since he wasn't here at the moment Dipper had decided to indulge himself. "We can show you how they work sometime."

"Sounds cool, could even come in handy during the mission. Oh, speaking of which..." Marco replied while digging for a cleanly folded piece of paper in his hoodie pocket and then handing it over to Dipper. "Here's directions to the meeting room, be down as soon as you can okay?"

"We'll be there." Pacifica spoke, and soon enough Marco left the two to themselves, off to make preparations.

* * *

By the time all the relevant humans were inside the minor but still elegant conference room Star had requisitioned for this meeting the princess herself had returned and she had conjured a garishly colored, hand cranked old timey projector which showed a repetitive loop of castle images, being operated by a spider wearing a top hat. Marco entered the room shortly after with a green haired, glasses wearing girl in tow. As advertised, an array of snacks was also present.

"Star, good morning, it's good to see you again." Pacifica greeted while Dipper got seats for both him and his girlfriend. The two couples in the room were making a point to not mention how their last meeting had ended. "Whose the green girl?"

"Name's Kelly." Said the Woolandian, spitting on her palm before extending a handshake and grinning a little when Pacifica flatly refused the offer. "I'll be the muscle for this adventure you guys are putting together, along with Marco of course."

"We're not using regular Mewman soldiers then?" Dipper asked, but in a tone of voice indicating he'd already assumed as much and wasn't going to argue against the decision.

"Wait, why do we need muscle, isn't this a diplomatic trip?" Marco spoke up, clearly a little confused. "Is this some kind of Mewni thing, where things don't mean what they mean on Earth? Despite the things in question being highly specific pieces of naming terminology? Like Psychology?"

Dipper was about to ask Marco what psychology meant here on Mewni, but the boy's sudden rant had distracted everyone from a different portal opening up, and so the one who had arrived through it took everyone by surprise when they spoke up first. "Geez B-Fly, new nerd flavor not working out for you so you went back to the original?"

"FLYING PRINCESS PONY HEAD!" Star greeted jubilantly, while everyone else suppressed groans, except for Dipper, who expressed his openly and without reservation. Marco instinctively placed a comforting hand on the other boy's shoulder, quietly asking "I see you two have meet already." before Star picked her boyfriend up, carried him over to her oldest friend and set him back on the floor as if to show him off.

"Me and Marco are dating now!" The Mewman princess exclaimed, and despite intentionally putting on a disgusted expression as he was put face to face with Ponyhead, Marco couldn't resist growing a small smile and looking sideways at Star in response to the warm feeling that statement being a fact generated inside him.

Ponyhead, as a response, simply snorted. "It's about time gurl, I knew as far back as the Bounce Lounge that eventually you were either gonna tell me that, or you were gonna tell me he got you pregnant."

Everyone in the room blanched immediately at this, with even Star getting flustered a letting out a rare, annoyed yell of "PONYHEAD!" at the antics of a friend she was normally quite tolerant of. Completely unbothered by this, the aerial princess simply sashayed to the center of the room on her sparkling trail of flight. "So, what's this big party you're setting up all about anyway?"

"For your information, it's really more of a diplomatic summit than a party." Dipper spoke up, taking an argumentative tone right out of the gate. While Star and Marco looked at the boy from earth with apprehensive terror, Pacifica looked ready to cheer him on while Ponyhead looked like she was anticipating his venom with an evil smirk. "The goal is to help bridge the gap between Mewmans and Monsters, and since, to my eternal horror, it turns out you are actually a member of the aristocracy and not some obnoxious performer the Lucitors had hired for their grand ball, we were hoping you'd be willing to sign a proclamation of friendship, help get the ball rolling."

"Oh, is that what's going on Turd-Light? Of course I've got B-Fly's back on this, so what do you bring to the table? Gonna sign the paper as prince of the dorks? Duke of the people who wear ugly red suits?" Ponyhead said back venomously with a slight chuckle to her voice, only to turn to Star and adopt a much more serious, slightly worried tone. "Star you know I want to help you out but my dad still thinks I'm in princess jail, remember? I don't think me signing papers or going on diplomatic parties means anything at the moment."

"Wait, princesses can go to jail in this dimension?" Pacifica asked the room, with genuine curiosity. Then, she muttered to herself that "Dad was always very insistent that we were above the law..."

Marco took the initiative next, answering in a rushed tone to try and keep the conversation on topic and helping Star out. "It's actually a reform school, but it's pretty much a jail. Star and I blew it up but nobody noticed, so a bunch of delinquent princesses are living and partying in the wreckage now."

"Are they all as bad as Ponyhead or is she the exception?" Dipper snarked, but then stood up from the chair he'd sat in and began to pace while he explained an idea that was forming in his head. "Alright, this... this is actually an opportunity. You're saying there's a whole school out there of well connected... teenage...?" He stopped, both speaking and walking, and turned to Marco, who Dipper already had come to consider the most reliable source of information about Mewni. "They are all teenagers, right? Star's age?" With a look of horror on his face, he wondered aloud "Is... is Ponyhead here actually a teenager? How do decapitated unicorn heads age..."

"Yes, there is, they are, she is, and you don't want to know." Marco answered the other human boy's array of questions flatly.

"Then we have an opportunity!" Pacifica cut in, having put together what her boyfriend was thinking right away. "Star, what if we invite all the reform school princesses to the party? If they all don't care about social customs and can do whatever they want, we could massively boost the visibility, prestige and connectivity of the Monster Bash!"

Star's eyes had widened and lit up as she followed this train of thought to its conclusion, then held up her official declaration of friendship and practically bounced on her heels as she showed it to the group, inviting them to fill in the signature space with their minds. "Think of all the names we'll get for this!" She exclaimed. Then, she accidentally ripped the document in half as a result of her exuberance.

Without missing a beat, Marco produced an identical copy, slid it into his girlfriend's grip, and began talking. "I don't know how much that will help us though. The people who actually run all those countries think their daughters are all locked up in reform school, so I don't know how legit their signatures would be."

With a dismissive wave, Dipper responded with "Relax Marco, politics is all about image anyways. Like Pacifica said, even if we don't have the permanent support of their countries, a bunch of royalty showing up will greatly increase the visibility and impact of the party itself." Then, to himself, the boy thought _"Plus, we might be able to put Bill and the Lucitors on the back step, at least for a little bit."_

Marco had wanted to argue with that, but couldn't find a way around Dipper's initial statement. As a result, Star was the next one to speak. "This is a great idea, but it's kindaaaa not what we're here to talk about today. I like it though Dipper, even if it might make the party a little crazier to plan." She said, and her last statement about the planning abruptly caused the earth boy to enter deep, silent thought. "Ponyhead, could you run this past the others at St. Olga's when you head back?"

"Yeah, sure thing B-Fly, as long as Earth Turd is booking all the entertainment I'm sure they'd love to come by, have somewhere new to trash." Ponyhead answered dismissively. "What kind of trouble are we cooking up today though?"

"Yeah, I'll admit, I'm kind lost at this point and not sure who I'm supposed to beat up now." Kelly added, actually causing Pacifica to look over in surprise, as the blond from earth had briefly forgotten about the scrappy fighter's presence. "Are we beating up the Lucitors, the monsters, the, the princesses... the queen of racism?"

"No no no, hopefully we're beating up nobody, this is a diplomatic mission to..."

Star had begun to respond, but found herself coming to a stop as the door to the room opened, catching everyone's attention. The last person to the meeting had finally arrived: Buff Frog, in handcuffs and escorted in by a pair of Mewman soldiers.

"We have the house arrested monster you requested, your majesty." The lead trooper greeted pleasantly, seemingly ignorant of the glare everyone in the room was shooting him, fully expecting to be rewarded. "Would you like me to handle the execution or would you prefer to?"

A few seconds later, a giant pink broom was sweeping the two soldiers out of the room while Star blasted apart the metal handcuffs. The princess had an apologetic look on her face and was clearly preparing some kind of statement, but Buff Frog took the initiative. "Princess, is not your fault. Is just the status quo your have put yourself up against. For that, I am grateful, and remain determined to help you in your fight. However..."

He trailed off for a moment, clearly torn and distressed, before continuing. "Must request the permission to remain behind on this mission. I do not think the babies are safe here in this castle, despite promises. Have had them pretend to be tennis balls each time knight passes by to inspect our quarters. Am worried it might not work at some point." Everyone looked uncomfortable at this information, but were also feeling more determined then ever to go on the mission. "There is other, smaller village where I can hide them. Will do digging into Lucitor diplomacy while there, make trip worthwhile."

"It's alright, you do whatever you need to keep your kids safe. That's your priority and I'm sure we all understand that." Star answered, clearly sounding a little ashamed at this. Out of sight of the princess and the monster Ponyhead was winding up to say something but Pacifica quickly clocked her in the side to keep her from saying anything. "Do you need any of us to help you make the trip safely?"

"Is no problem. Babies and I will leave under cover of darkness. Would not want to take more away from mission." Buff Frog answered, then continued with "Had I not the little ones to care for I would gladly remain here alongside you Star Butterfly, but this castle does not seem to be a safe place for them. I promise however, will continue to support you in this however possible."

"Then that's how it is then." Star said with a tone of finality. The princess finally turned back to address the larger group, a new look of determination on her face. She still didn't remember most of her mother's lessons regarding planning and leadership, but she was now more determined than ever to power through without them. "Alright, let's start putting together some talking points for the trip to Castle Pigeon..." Star had trailed off, until something had caught her attention. "Yes Pacifica?"

The blond from Earth had raised her hand while her facial expression expressed a lack of understanding. Somewhat incredulously, she asked "So, is that just the name, or are we going to an actual castle of pigeons?"

"An actual castle of pigeons."

"I hate this dimension."

* * *

The meeting continued for hours, with everyone involved finding the rest of the present company fairly easy to get along and work with. Several trips to and from the library had allowed the group to learn everything they could about the newcomers to Mewni's table, even if there wasn't much solid info available. The Pigeons had seemingly just appeared one day, occupying a castle that had been abandoned in the conflict with Toffee and communicating entirely through written correspondence. They seemed entirely reluctant to host visitors but otherwise seemed to be reliable allies of Queen Moon's regime.

"I know you were feeling unsure when we found out all previous diplomatic expeditions to the castle were given the complete cold shoulder, but I think you've got what it takes to make this one the first success!"

Marco had said that while he and Star were cleaning up the meeting room. Ponyhead and Kelly had gone back to their homes, Buff Frog had left early to prepare his children for their departure, and the human couple had gone off to see if Stanford had turned back up. When the princess and her boyfriend finally left as well, those words of encouragement gave Star a soft, warm glowing feeling in her stomach, but it was tempered by her knowledge that she had one more thing to do this evening.

"...and heeeeeere we are! Surprise!" Star said happily while taking her hands off of Marco's eyes after kicking open the door in front of them. She had unexpectedly informed him that a surprise had been prepared for him this evening, and Marco had no problem letting Star lead him blind through the whole castle until they got to it: An exact replica of his room back on Earth, conjured into the castle walls through the power of magic.

"Wooooow, it looks great Star!" Was Marco's first reaction as he looked through the open doorway before turning to his girlfriend, only for his eyes to widen as he saw what was behind her. "And it's, uh, right across the hallway from your room." He said, voice a little squeaky now. "That's good."

"Yep, and I even got it right on the first try!" Star answered happily, pushing Marco into his new quarters by the shoulders and then popping back to the other side of the portal. "Well, make yourself at home away from home! If anything weird happens just come get me, my door is always open for you Marco!" Then, she slammed the door shut, letting out a sigh of relief once the barrier was between them. Putting on a more determined expression, Star crossed the hall to her own room, opened the door with unusual care, and found her expectations met.

"Good evening dearie, I hope you didn't cut anything short with that poor boy to come see me. One can never spend enough time in love in my opinion."

Having made a comfortable little pillow formation to sit on, and waiting for Star in her own bedroom, was the Queen of Darkness, Eclipsa. She seemed unassuming enough, dressed in her humble pajamas and sipping on a cup of tea, but her expression remained as inscrutably pleasant as always. Despite her sympathy for the imprisoned woman, Star would still have found her sudden appearance here alarming, had it not actually been the young princess herself who had arranged this meeting.

Instead, she was simply slightly unnerved that Eclipsa had managed to reach here, just as the older woman said she could.

"Tell me about the Darkest Spell." Star said curtly, while taking a seat on the fluffy pink pillows and accepting a tea cup of her own. Rather than put her at ease, Eclipsa's remarks about her love life only seemed to have put the princess further on edge, and to her credit the former queen picked up on this right away, and spoke next with a more serious, instructive tone of voice.

"Well my dear, it's a spell designed to kill anything and everything." Eclipsa stated without hesitation. "It will shatter every barrier, sunder any shield, tear through any enchantment and of course, cut short any form of immortality, but of course I'm sure you already understand that part. It's creation was something of a... collaborative effort. My mother had conducted numerous experiments to devise spells that could penetrate the defensive biology of specific monster species, and I took bits and pieces from, and I also used a bit of Skywynne's work on localized time locks to make the damage done by the spell frozen in time to make it harder to heal. Then I added a bit of my own handy work of course and glued it all together."

"Did you invent this spell so you could kill the Magical High Commission with it?" Star asked, staying on guard and to the point with her dealings. _"Eclipsa seems nice enough, but now we're entering dangerous territory. I don't think she's evil for loving a monster, but this dark magic stuff... could go either way. It doesn't sound any worse than any other kind of magic so far though."_

If Eclipsa was bothered by this borderline accusation, she didn't show it. Keeping her steady, alluring and mysterious expression, the deposed queen answered quite readily. "I'll admit, the possibility of doing that occurred to me while I was developing it. I always knew they wouldn't approve of Globby but I had hoped it wouldn't come to violence."

"Globby?" Star asked, a brief moment of confusion breaking her own attempt at an inscrutable expression.

"Oh, just something I called my husband. His name was Globgor you know." Eclipsa stated casually, then asked somewhat hopefully if "I don't suppose they left any record of him?"

"Just a big scary painting."

"Of course." Eclipsa said, a tone of slightly bitter dissatisfaction slipping through her guard before she took a sip of her tea. "Sometimes it seems like we're such easily frightened creatures. Mewmans are quite vulnerable you know, behind all our magic. You could consider the Darkest Spell an equalizer in that sense. Morally, I don't really see how it's all that different from a spell that launches a fireball, or, say, that one you mentioned to me a few days ago, the one with the giant hammer?"

"What about the, you know, the arms thing?" Star asked, attempting to get the conversation back on track. When she spoke this time however, the princess' firm, guarded attitude seemed to have faltered a small amount as open curiosity shown through, though Star didn't seem to have noticed this happening to her.

"Simply a side effect. The Darkest Spell is a volatile channeling of several... not always compatible power sources that allow it to inflict maximum possible damage in all situations. It's simply too much for a mortal Mewman to handle, inducing bodily decay." Eclipsa explained, somewhat dismissively. "Power, at a price, as they say."

"I've never heard anyone say that, let alone they." Star admitted, suddenly a little off guard.

"I wouldn't have thought so. It's not an idea the Mewman aristocracy would be familiar with. Look at your wand, would you?" Eclipsa said, prompting Star to quickly bring the artifact into sight, a fearful flash of thought telling her the older woman might have stolen it. However, the colorful instrument of ultimate power was still in Star's possession, and while Eclipsa picked up on this, she simply giggled at it. "Now, think about this: What does the wand demand from you in order to do its wonderful work?"

"Uh... magic words, the right emotional mindset, I like to wave it around for extra emphasis but I don't know if that helps..."

Eclipsa waited patiently for Star to finish instead of interrupting, and once the younger princess fell into an uncertain silence as she felt the point was missed, Eclipsa began to speak comfortingly. "The magic wand is not the only source of power in the multiverse Star, but it is one of the most generous. There are other worlds out there Star, where living beings not so different from you and I must scrape and bleed and even kill to acquire the power of magic, and they often get much less for their efforts than even the most minuscule of the wand's ejections. The Darkest Spell, which draws upon several of these sources in order to utilize their unique properties, can be... temperamental as a result." Then, after taking another sip of tea, Eclipsa added "Almost makes it sort of noble, in a way."

Star didn't respond verbally to this, but when she gain a questioning expression after Eclipsa's last statement, the dark queen smiled slightly and began to explain. "Well, it makes you serious about using it, doesn't it? The rot I mean. It encourages you not to just go around blasting everything that annoys you with the Darkest Spell. You must be willing to sacrifice a part of yourself to use its power, making it the ideal weapon for protecting the things you love from an overwhelming threat." Then, in a moment of quiet introspection that she was sure Star could hear, Eclipsa muttered "I thought Moon would be the perfect user for it, but from the sound of things she regrets her sacrifices..."

After sitting quietly for a few moments, obviously deeply in thought and taking frequent sips from her four sugarcube cup of tea, Star eventually asked "How do you know so much about other sources of magic?"

"I was interested in them." Eclipsa answered with a shrug. Then, with a smirk, she explained further that "I was young once too Star, and I had my own pair of dimensional scissors as well. My husband and I used to adventure all over the multiverse in order to get some privacy, not all that different from you and Marco. Oh, I saw so many wonderful things Star."

"Uh huh." The princess said simply, nodding a little bit stiffly as Eclipsa seemed to gush with genuine emotion at the memory of her lover.

"Of course, not everything I discovered could be incorporated directly into traditional wand casting, but even a purely philosophical understanding of other magic systems can boost creativity when it comes to spell weaving." Eclipsa explained, her own guarded expression fading slightly as it was obvious she enjoyed talking about this. "I had met a wise man during one of Globby and I's holidays, for example, whose only magical ability was to create fire, but he went out of his way to study the magic of moving earth, wind and water, even if he would never be able to command them himself. As a result he was an incredibly powerful magic user, a most erudite gentleman and made an excellent pot of tea. Terrible taste in plays unfortunately..." Now trailing off slightly, Eclipsa seemed genuinely annoyed for a moment at the memory but clearly wouldn't change a thing about the event she was thinking of. "Globby just couldn't stop heckling the actors, I mean yes they were terrible but by the end of it all three of us had to flee the theater entirely. What a time that was to have accidentally dropped my scissors into the popcorn maker trying to get an extra serving..."

Star was very quiet for a while, clearly thinking long and hard about something and letting the former queen reminisce, though Star couldn't help but smile a little at Eclipsa's obvious fond memory of a misadventure not too different from her own experiences alongside Marco. She looked down at the wand in her hands, minding her reflection in the star mounted in it, and then casting a glance towards her bedroom doors, thoughts obviously resting with the boy beyond it. Eclipsa gave her all the time she needed, but had a knowing look in her eyes the entire time, which grew into a full, satisfied smile when Star finally asked the question that had been fighting to emerge from her head.

"Do you know anything that will work on demons?"

* * *

A short while later, Eclipsa emerged from the secret passages of the castle back into her secure little room, where Queen Moon believed she was safely contained. She had agreed to help Star about, but the two agreed to end the meeting after that was established. It was getting late, Star had a mission in the morning and preparations would need to be made before any instructing could actually happen, outside of some general tips to use against the natives of the Underworld the dark queen could recall off the top of her head. They also didn't want to risk waking up the entire castle with an errant magic lesson.

"Ah, young love." Eclipsa said aloud wistfully, but after a moment her appreciative expression morphed into an outright frown. An annoyance had been building ever since she finished talking to Star, a smoldering steadily flaring to life on the skin of her back, like a dying, errant coal irritating the skin. _"Hopefully I've simply sprained something." _She thought to herself despite not believing it to be that easy.

Taking up a position with her back pointing towards her cracked, grimy dressing mirror, Eclipsa undid the wrapping from around her hair, and after a deep breath, pulled her pink pajama shirt up and off. When she looked over her shoulder after a moment of hesitation, Eclipsa's annoyed frown deepened to an outright scowl as she saw exactly what she'd expected.

A faint yellow light was emerging from the tattoo imprinted on the former queen's upper back. Its three sides were blurred by the cracking, darkening and rot that seemed to have set into the surrounding skin, but the brick body structure and single, all seeing eye still stood out, as bright and as unfaded by time as it was on the day the image had been inked into her skin, a vile concoction of ink, ichor and blood delivered at needlepoint. It was a small sigil, but an unmistakable one: the countenance of Bill Cipher.

Having confirmed her suspicions, Eclipsa put her shirt back on, wrapped her hair, and fished out the bottle of wine she'd hidden at the bottom of her dresser. She drank from the bottle until the ache dulled, then climbed into bed and fell asleep.


	12. The Mystery of Castle Pigeon Part 1

The assembled diplomatic team from the Kingdom of Mewni stood in the shadow of Pigeon Castle, collectively taking a silent moment to marvel at/analyze the great work of arcane architecture in front of them. Though of course it was not nearly as grand as the castle of the royal family it still remained an impressive piece of fortification, particularly to the natives of Earth. Despite being dimmed by an atmosphere of desolation and signs of unattended wear beginning to mark the stonework, it still had a certain radiance and whimsy to it that even the most impressive of human built castles lacked. If the castles of earth's obsolete monarchs inspired tales of magic and fantasy, than the castles of Mewni quite clearly were actively living them.

"And something like this only takes three months to construct?" Dipper Pines asked, breaking the silence first. During the historical research he had spearheaded to support this mission, he had come across incredulous sounding claims that such a structure had been assembled in an incredibly short period of time, and while his knee-jerk reaction was to flatly disbelieve such a thing, he'd experienced far too much strangeness in his life to actively toss such a possibility away, having it instead filed the alleged fact away as a curiosity before keeping his research on a more practical path.

Star Butterfly, Princess of Mewni, clad in one of her more presentable but still mobility affording dresses, standing at the head of her assembled friends and allies, responded to this by snorting dismissively. "Yeah, if you were building one a century ago or something!" She explained, tone of voice simultaneously dismissive, proud and amused but decidedly non-malicious. "These days it only takes about four weeks to do so, give or take a few extra features. It's one of the queen's duties you know, to use her magic to reward loyal subjects with big fancy castles." Then, with a pursed lips frown and a quieter tone of voice, she added "Mom didn't appreciate the ice cream fountains I kept adding to my practice castles, something about them being _defensively unfeasible _or something."

"Alongside the requisite land and title that comes with being made an aristocrat, I presume? The phrase _noblesse oblige _seems a lot more literal here on Mewni." Pacifica Northwest commented, before turning her head to address the other human boy that was part of the group. "Did they get our announcement?" The blond from Earth asked. As part of her role in planning this trip, Pacifica had invested her time investigating the diplomatic and social protocols that existed between Mewni and its allied kingdoms, advising Star on how to conduct the visit in the most effective way that still demonstrated she was less formal and more even minded that previous visitors from Mewni, an approach that the group agreed would properly represent and legitimize their proposal.

"I think so. The front gate is open at least." Marco Diaz answered, holding his flat right hand over his eyes to get a clearer look ahead from atop a rock, and sure enough, the front entrance to the castle was wide open. The desolate air of the place made it seem more like a waiting mouth than an open door however. Dropping down from the rock, carefully so as to not jostle the contents the red backpack he was wearing, Marco told the group "I don't like this though. If they did get the message we sent, shouldn't there be... anything, here, to greet the most important princess in the universe? Maybe a red carpet or something?"

"I agree, something feels off." Kelly remarked, keeping guard of the group from the back, diligently checking above and behind them for signs of trouble.

"Ahhh, don't worry about it, Pigeons just be like this a bunch." Flying Princess Pony Head spoke up dismissively as she began to float towards the open gates. "Their whole thing is that money talks so they don't have to. I'm sure they're all waiting for us inside."

Dipper's eyebrows scrunched in a mix of uncertainty and disdain, and he spent a few moments pondering a phrase about horses and water but ultimately couldn't settle on anything that worked. "Well, nowhere to go but forward then!" Star cut in, breaking the silence and following after her oldest friend, causing the rest of the group to set pace behind her.

A reception was awaiting the group inside the main hall of the castle, but it consisted of direct stimulus rather than the structure's inhabitants. The whole building seemed to have a distant but still pungent odor about it, which initially had quite a strong effect on the whole party but to which they would become desensitizes to over the course of their stay. In sharp contrast to the smell however, was the song: A faint, high pitched melody echoed through the halls and caught everyone's attention, silencing further complaints about the smell as everyone present scanned the area for both awaiting pigeons and the source of the music, being more invested in the latter than any of them would care to admit. It was a strange, rattling tweedling melody that never seemed to pause or draw breath, and none of them could quite place the song or instrument.

The group broke apart to search around the ornate but dusty reception hall they'd found themselves in, the mysterious music continuing to play without a source. Nobody wanted to wander out of sight but more ground needed to be covered the ornate chamber was to checked from top to bottom. "Now, I don't pretend to be some sort of royal castle expert or anything, usually I'm setting them on fire vs interior decorating them, but I didn't think they were usually so... dusty." Kelly remarked, while running a finger over a dust and cobweb covered, historical, mighty looking long sword mounted on the wall. When said dust burst off the weapon as a result of the woolander suddenly sneezing, it was revealed to actually be a much less impressive looking dagger.

"And these drapes! This rug! This... cheesy looking statue urn thing! It's not even modern art bad, just crumbly and so last season!" Pony Head commented from the section of wall she was examining. After a moment though, she narrowed her eyes at the small statute and realized "Wait, no, this would have been out of style last season, this is... this is old. Old and uncool."

Holding up her wand as she willed it to glow and illuminate the area, Star looked around the area with a concerned look on her face. "I know they don't receive visitors very often, but this place looks like it's been abandoned for years! Rich Pigeon was JUST at the Silver Bell Ball!"

Marco, who was scouring every nook and cranny of the reception hall with the most determination out of everyone present. In the midst of flipping over a different but equally antiquated vase and coughing slightly at the small cloud of dust that fell out of it as part of his energetic scrounging, he remarked that "Whatever is going on here Star, we'll figure it out and get you that signature." Then, after having valiantly ignored his irritated throat and watering eyes, Marco finally broke down into a brief but full fit of coughing after he lifted an old, fraying rug off the floor to check beneath it. Star quickly walked over to her boyfriend, the gentle glow provided by her wand expanding into a faintly glowing sphere surrounding her, which seemed to repel the dust away. She stood close enough to Marco that the irritants were quickly expelled, and when he stopped coughing the two shared a quick but warm smile.

"Maybe they've all flown the coop?" Pacifica remarked dryly while trying to pluck a cobweb out of her hair with a frustrated expression on her face. The girl from Earth had gone straight for a portrait on the wall when looking for something to examine, but the thick layer of dust covering the painting proved too thick for her to knock away.

"No... there's still activity going through here. Recently, at that." Spoke up Dipper, who had split the furthest off from the group to examine a patch of ground they hadn't yet stepped on, a small few steps closer to the haunting music's source. The young scientist was down on one knee and holding a magnifying glass in one hand to examine the floor. As the rest of the team gathered around him, he stood up and concluded "There are footprints here, in the dust, though whoever made them was either trying not to, or has something of a light step. And is also probably not a human, er, mewman. Definitely not pigeon feet though."

"Light steps huh? Well, can't be these guys then." Marco commented, while walking over to a dusty and rusting suit of metal armor. "Why do pigeons even have full suits of human shaped armor though?" He asked, then his eyes narrowed as he noticed the gauntlet of the suit was curled into a clenched fist. A quick look around revealed the other suits of armor in the room had either open hands or were holding an equally rusty and large weapon. "You holding out on us buddy?" Marco asked under his breath, before reaching for the closed fist, needing to jump for it since the armor was a good deal taller than him.

"I still can't believe this place is supposed to be owned by pigeons... although that might explain the interior decorating." Pacifica muttered in a slightly grumpy tone while standing next to her kneeling boyfriend, taking pictures of the dusty footprints. Her expression, as well as everyone else's, widened with shock and swung towards where Marco was standing when they suddenly heard him scream in surprise. Star reacted the fastest, able to see he'd fallen down into a trap door built into the floor after his attempt to open the armor's hand simply pulled down its arm, causing the lever system to open up the panel of floor he was standing on. Star was quick enough to see the panel slam shut, but not fast enough to catch her boyfriend.

"Hang on Marco, I'm coming for ya!" She yelled out passionately and furiously as similar cries of concern came from the rest of the team. The princess lepta upon the now seamless panel of flooring and began to recklessly bite and claw at it, seemingly determined to rip through the floor by herself.

Coming to a stop once he'd ran over while thinking about the situation, Dipper reached into one of his vest's many pockets and withdrew a blocky green walkie-talkie from it, using his left hand to extend the small wire antenna to maximum and his right thumb to press the button. "Marco, can you hear me? Are you alright?"

The feed was choked in static for a few moments, but gradually cleared until the other teenage boy hit the button on the specific unit he'd been issued and answered. "Ugh, yeah, I'm alright. Bit of a rough fall but I didn't land on a bunch of spikes or a pool of acid or anything. Is everything okay up there?"

Dipper opened his mouth to answer but had the small green box swiped from his grip by a frantic Star before he could do so. "Hang on down there Marco, I'm coming to save you!" She had grabbed the device with both hands and had been yelling straight into the speaker before replacing the object with her wand, charging up a powerful burst of magic to blast away a large chunk of the floor and dive down to her boyfriend, having not seen the exact spot the trapdoor had opened. Before the princess could blast away however, Dipper, Pacifica and Kelly ran up behind her, cautioning her to stop and lowering her wand arm by themselves to get her to snap out of it.

"Star, wait, slow down! This meeting will be off to a really bad start if you start blasting holes in the place!" She cautioned, urgency breaking through her voice. Dipper instantly followed this up by adding "Plus if you blast the floor apart here you might just drop all of it right on Marco's head!"

The cautioning of her friends proved sufficient, and the building light steadily died out from Star's wand. She was still obviously distressed however, and swiftly picked the walkie-talkie back up, and with a more gentle but still concerned voice asked "Marco, are you okay down there? How urgently do you need to be rescued?"

"I'm okay Star, just a little sore after the landing. Could one of you guys maybe lower a rope down the trap door I fell in?" Came the boy's reassuring voice through the radio, allowing the blond mewman to relax a small amount. Kelly and Pacifica answered his request by getting out the fifty feet of rope that the team had coiled up in their supply bag while Dipper got the floor panel open using a screwdriver and a crowbar. As the dark drop stood open in front of him, the young scientist removed a spherical object from his pocket and dropped it into the depths, before kneeling down to listen to it travel down the shaft.

"Is that some kind of earth magic thingy that will let Marco walk up the walls and come back up here?" Star asked after a quiet period with a hopeful expression and tone, that unfortunately faded when Dipper shook his head.

"No, it's just a piece of candy. Great Uncle Ford taught me you can get a good feel for trap doors by dropping some circular down them and listening to see if they roll around." He explained with a grim tone that worried everyone. "This one isn't just a straight drop, which is probably why Marco isn't seriously hurt, but from the sound of it there are several twists to this one that prevent the rope from reaching the bottom."

Star pressed the button on the walkie-talkie again, just in time to hear Marco utter a private "Oooh, butterscotch!" to himself along with the faint sound of a wrapper unwinding. "Marco, are you trapped in like a dungeon cell now, or do you see a way out?" Star asked, her initially soothed nerves beginning to fray from impatience as the strange music continued to play in the distance.

"I'm not trapped, and while the trap door chute did weave and wind a bunch it didn't put me that far underground. I could probably make my way back up to you guys."

Star bit her lower lip instead of responding right away as the rest of the group, even Pony Head, exchanged concerned looks. Marco was capable, of course, but he'd be wandering around alone in the unknown depths of a castle that seemed specifically designed to dispose of intruders. "Can you get out of there with your dimensional scissors?" His girlfriend asked, voice fresh with great concern.

"I passed them off to Pacifica, remember? Along with the paper mache replica of your wand I made and the fireworks Dipper popped back to his basement to retrieve. Everything she'd need to be your double if the situation demanded it." Marco answered, and with a guilty look on her face the human blond produced the scissors in question from her pocket. "Should I toss them down to him?" She asked the group.

"Wait, don't do that!" Marco spoke quickly, Star having relayed the human girl's question to him. "The chute down flattens at a few points, as a non-spherical object the scissors might get stuck on the way down, and that would just make things even more complicated."

Dipper had been quiet for a while, hand on his chin in contemplation. Once the scissors had been fully discussed, he finally raised his head and addressed the group. "We can't let this take up much more of our time. I'm going down to help Marco out in case he runs into trouble looking for a way out of the basement." He spoke up, handing off a few tools to Pacifica in preparation for his slide down.

"If one us is going down there to rescue Marco, it's going to be me." Star said firmly, taking a step forward to stand between Dipper and the trap door, but Pacifica was quick to walk over and put a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Star, wait, we need you up here. I know you want to save Marco but the diplomatic meeting literally can't happen without you." She implored, causing Star to stop and contemplate her argument. "You're the only princess here... who isn't technically supposed to be at a boarding school..." Pacifica explained, adding to her statement after a snort came from over her shoulder, the first noise Princess Pony Head had made in awhile. While the equine royalty would normally be quick to mock the boy from earth for this unfortunate incident, even she could tell that doing so right now would seriously upset Star. "...and that means you're the only one who can make the Pigeons legitimate offers and promises to secure their support for monster rights."

Stuck in place, still chewing her lower lip and looking indecisive, Star turned the walkie-talkie on again. "Marco? If Dipper comes down to help you out, will you be all right?"

The answer came after a quick moment of silence. "Do you trust Dipper, Star?" He asked. After an equally quick moment of consideration, she answered "Yes."

"Then he's OK in my book. I'll see you soon Star." Marco replied, and then with unpracticed enthusiasm signed off by saying "I love you."

"I love you too Marco." Star said softly, passing the walkie-talkie off so she could clutch her wand close as she hoped for his safety. A short distance away, the team's other couple was preparing for a temporary parting.

"I should go with you Dipper." Pacifica said, her voice a little hushed but also conveying that she really knew she shouldn't, due to the heiress' business savvy and people skills making her the second most important part of the team for the actual negotiation. Dipper, in turn, recognized this about her and didn't bother to explained what they both already know. Instead, he produced a small disk shaped device from a vest pocket.

"Don't worry Paz, if worst comes to worst we'll use the fast return switch to escape back to Earth and rejoin you guys after I line up the coordinates on the portal." He assured her. They both knew that precise landings could be tricky to coax out of the portal machine without a beacon on the other side and even then it took time preparing it for activation. More than likely Marco would be retrieved faster by simply finding a way out from the basement system. "Plus, I want to look around the castle a little. Something isn't right here, and, well, you know..." Dipper added, a little more quietly.

Pacifica nodded, and after stemming her worried expression into a slightly aggressive one, she told him in a mildly harsh tone "Just don't make me come down there to save your sorry carcass after all. This castle is already gross and I can't imagine that the trap door basement is somehow the shinning beacon of cleanliness and tasteful decoration in this place."

Chuckling slightly at this, Dipper leaned forward and giver her a kiss on the cheek, saying "I'll come back Paz. I love you." before he stepped away to walk over to the trap door. Turning her head and sticking up her nose, she grumbled "That's why I don't want you to do anything stupid." with a deep undertone of concern to her voice.

At the chute opening, Kelly was sharing some words with both princesses, ending with a wide grinning salute before turning to Dipper. "I'm coming with you. Marco's my friend and as long as Star's got her wand, I figure you'll need my muscle more than her diplomatic meeting will."

Nodding in confirmation, Dipper asked her a cursory question. "You know how to slide down one of these safely?"

Enthusiastically, Kelly answered "Sure do! This isn't my first haunted castle after all. This is all probably the work of a bunch of ghosts or skeletons or mummies or something from the war lurking around, causing problems. We'll uncover them, bust them to dust, and then the Pigeon people will be so happy with us they'll agree to Star's requests." She explained with a mild hint of tongue in cheek to her tone.

"Funny, on earth it's usually mansions or amusement parks being haunted by real estate agents, but you definitely get the gist of it." Dipper responded, right before Kelly plunged into the chute. Briefly looking over his shoulder, Dipper doffed his pine tree emblazoned hat to the remainder of the party before joining her and Marco in the depths.

The remainder of the party stared for a moment at the floor panel, silence reigning between them. After taking a deep breath and banishing her concerned expression, a resolute Star Butterfly turned to face her two remaining companions. It was an expression Pony Head had been familiar with for most of her life, while Pacifica had only recently come to understand. However, it got a small, cocky smile out of both of them, because it meant that the princess of Mewni was about it get going, and they both knew nothing stopped her once she set her mind to something.

"Alright, let's find out where the creepy music is coming from."

* * *

At the bottom of the chute, Marco had begun double checking his supplies as soon as he signed off from talking to Star, having evaluated his physical safety right after landing. "...extra copies of the document, back up pens, recording equipment, trail mix, tranquilizer pistol..." He listed off with a mutter, having slung the backpack off his shoulder and taken a knee to go through its contents. After reaching the bottom of the main pocket however, he frowned a little in confusion. "...Why did Pacifica insist we take this pie with us, anyway?" He wondered aloud. The airtight, plastic case the dessert was stored in at the bottom of the bag (an obvious piece of Earth technology) meant it suffered relatively little jostling in the fall, but its presence still confused Marco.

Before he could think any further on this however, the sound of an approaching scream reminded Marco that he was standing at the bottom of the trap door. Diving out of the way, the boy saved himself and the supplies from being crushed between the landing Dipper and Kelly, the former having clearly been spooked by the drop and sudden stop while the latter just seemed exhilarated by it. "Marco, good to see you again! How long has it been?" The furry haired fighter asked with a jokey tone while Dipper was breathing heavily to catch his breath.

"Pretty good, pretty good. You didn't think a little slide was gonna slow me down, did you?" Marco answered, also confident and easygoing sounding.

"That drop was much crazier than I had been expecting!" Dipper burst out while composing himself, before looking over the other boy with bewilderment. "How are you still standing? Falling through that unprepared should have broken your legs!"

Expression turning more serious, Marco commented that "Guess I just landed lucky. You guys aren't seriously hurt, are you?"

"My ankles are a little hurt by that, and my hands are a little raw from bracing on the way down, but I'm still good to go!" Kelly replied enthusiastically, but also sounding more focused on the mission. "We should be good so long as there isn't a massive fight waiting for us on the other side of that door." While saying this, the girl pointed over Marco's shoulder, causing him to turn around and seriously take stock of his surroundings.

The three of them were in a large, cubical room underground with only one door out, that was equipped with a lock but fortunately for the team, they were on the right side of it. "I'm the same, injury wise I mean. Just wasn't prepared for that many turns and bumps." Dipper explained, igniting a flashlight in his left hand, the usual right sore and throbbing at the moment. Casting the beam directly overhead, the apprentice scientist got the small, quizzical frown on his face that developed in response to perplexing details not fitting together. At the end of the chute was a metal railing track that wasn't at the top of the drop, and which Dipper was certain he'd chaffed his hand on. "I think there's more to this than just one trap door..." He remarked, before leveling the light beam out and scanning the walls.

Marco and Kelly, who had been disengaging the lock and making sure the door had no further defenses built into or around it, had their attention caught by the passing light and joined Dipper in evaluating the room they were in. The floor had a slight incline to it, gently slopping a few inches from the walls to a small drain built into the room's exact center. Picture frame style hooks were connected to the walls in a few places, and from a small number of them hung bent, rusted bird cages. "...Alright, that's sort of creepy..."

Dipper took a knee to examine a gash in the floor, overhand holding his flashlight on it for a better look before sweeping the beam across the rest of the floor. "There might have been more in here at some point, but if so they moved it out quite a long time ago." He evaluated, before standing up and stepping towards the door. "So, into the depths then?"

Dipper had asked his question with a twinge of uncertainty, but Marco and Kelly met it with a look of confidence. The boy in the red hoodie put his hand on the doorknob leading out of this room, and the three cast themselves into the unknown depths.

* * *

Up above, the reduced diplomatic party had been following the steadily strengthening music through the dusty halls. The interior decorating did not improve the further they went, rotted remains of Mewman splendor waiting around every corner. Stepping carefully and staying alert, the three had worked their way down hallways and up stairwells, all similarly deserted, as the music got stronger until they were assembled together outside a sturdy double door, the haunting melody undoubtedly being generated behind it. Star looked over both her shoulders, got a confirming nod from both her friends, and pushed the doorway wide open.

The room they spilled into was the largest they had seen so far, a round dome in similar style to the towers of the Butterfly castle but smaller and directly connected to the castle's main structure, instead of rising above the stone walls on a neck. The circular floor of this room was flat and clear, with an equidistant series of stairs and ladders along the curving walls allowing one access to a series of platforms forming rising rings up the inside of the dome. Windows abundantly dot the rings of walkways stacked on top of each other, tinted to keep the outside from looking in and built with hinges, but a majority of them were broken, jammed, or otherwise now exposed to the elements.

As the doors swung open the music stopped and an eerie silence filled the room. The upper scaffolding was covered with a seemingly endless flock of pigeons, resting on the safety rails and the mounted floors, an endless wall of gray feathers and blank, black eyes. In contrast, the center of the room's floor was occupied by one figure, a horned humanoid in a white suit with his back to the entrance. A chill traveled down Star's spine when he spoke to the crowd, erasing any faint traces of doubt regarding their identity and purpose here.

"That concludes the performance of the traditional Lucitor historical ballad." Prince Tom announced, eliciting a gentle collection of cooing from the still roosting pigeons. As the three new arrivals looked closer, they realized a collection of six animate bird skeletons were perched on his shoulders and outstretched arms. Without turning to face the representatives of Mewni, Tom opened a suit pocket and the dead birds shuffled themselves in, the sound of bones chattering together and air passing between the ribs produced a similar sound to the earlier music, but random and discordant. The prince of the underworld seemed to hesitate for a moment before finally turning around. If the deep breath he took was a sign of nervousness, none of it was present on Tom's face: Reserved and measured, but with a hint of sly emanating from his three slightly lidded eyes. "Greetings Princess Butterfly. We've been expecting you."

As thousands of blank eyes stared down at the center stage of the auditorium, a cold silence now ruling the air, both of her friends noticed right away as Star began to tremble. Pacifica, who had noticed it first out of the corner of her eye, was initially of the mind to step between her new friend and the Prince of the Underworld, but two quick observations changed her mind: The first was the expression Princess Pony Head had gained upon seeing Star's attitude change, and the second was the quick flashes of green energy that danced across her white knuckle grip on the royal wand. Star Butterfly was indeed trembling, but only with rage.

"Esteemed citizens of Pigeon Castle!" Pacifica called out, taking a step forward and extending her arms with a flourish while slipping into her carefully coached commanding voice. "As announced via diplomatic writ, I present to you the Princess and representative of the Kingdom of Mewni, Star Butterfly!" After a moment of quiet following the heraldry, a snorting noise prompted to the human blond to tack on "...and Princess Pony Head of the Cloud Kingdom."

While the announcement did not seem to produce any reaction from the roosting crowd, it did have the desired effect on the princess herself. Her friend's echoing speech jolted Star out of the red haze that had descended over her eyes and caused the magic crackling across her knuckle to die out. As her expression shifted from openly enraged to uncharacteristically cold and glaring, the princess took care to evaluate her options carefully, getting the distinct impression from Tom's expression that blasting him, as satisfying as she might find it, would be playing directly into his hand.

Striding forward onto the floor as Tom slunk to the side, eyeing her with curiosity, Star took the center stage and did her best to put on the airs of her mother. "I come before you today to take a step into the future!" Pacifica kept her face composed while she kept her eyes on Tom, but inwardly was analyzing Star's progress on the specific speech and general talking points/phrases the human had prepared for her friend the princess. _"Star had little previous experience and poor study habits, but she was eager to get these right to impress the Pigeons." _The Northwest thought to herself. _"Let's hope she gets this right."_

"Our dimension has been burdened for centuries beneath a smothering veil of ignorance and stunted communications! The label of monster has been used to unfairly divide the inhabitants of this world onto opposite sides of arbitrary battle lines, creating an endless cycle of destructive conflict!" Star spoke, stumbling in places over the lines that the humans assisting her had written in her place, but powering every word with genuine passion. "I, and my fellow aligned royals, wish to promote the signing of a pact of universal friendship and acknowledgment between all thinking species, to end this discriminatory status quo and seek peace and prosperity for all peoples!"

Pacing across the floor as she spoke, Star's eyes were continually searching for some flicker of reaction from the roosting masses, but at most the assembled pigeons simply followed her movement with slight turns of the head, all moving in sync. Abruptly feeling very foolish as her own voice bounced around the dome, the princess bit her lower lip in a moment of indecision, hesitating to continue her speech and giving Tom an opening to exploit instead.

"Passionate words, Princess Butterfly." The prince's oily voice spoke, causing the blank faces of the flock to shift focus to him, while Pacifica and Pony Head stared with far less ambiguous contempt. "It may surprise you to know that I am here representing surprisingly similar ideas from the Underworld and have a meeting with Rich Pigeon scheduled after the performance you interrupted. If you'd care to join me we can both make our cases to him."

After saying his piece, Tom simply strode across the room towards the only surface level door in the room, not waiting for a response. The Princess of Mewni was now openly glaring at him as the heir to the Underworld walked away, but also gained a feeling of confidence from her friends standing at her side. "Don't let him get under your skin girl, that's all he wants to do after all." Pony Head cautioned, a rare serious tone to her voice. With a scowl, Star responded that "Whatever his game is by coming here, I'm not going to play it."

"Star, we don't really have a choice but to play his game for the moment. In business and in politics people sit down and talk to people who might be trying to kill them all the time, and if he's here it's more important than ever that you get a face to face meeting with Rich Pigeon." Pacifica said in an urgent tone, not unsympathetic to her royal friends but wanting to keep her from losing the advantage in this situation, both personal and diplomatic. She was not unsympathetic to Star's disgust with Tom, and indeed carried a strong feeling of it herself, but knew that leaving the demon unsupervised could cause the worst outcome for everyone. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?"

"Besides, you always win B-Fly!" Pony Head added in an encouraging voice. "You can handle anything he might throw at you!"

"But I don't want to keep my enemies close!" Star whispered back, then finished her retort just a slight bit louder, an intentional effort to let Tom hear it. "I want to keep Marco close!" As the word's rushed over the prince of demons, his face remained placid and sly, but the small, diplomatic smile adorning his face became frozen and his third eye uncontrollably twitched a few times, the only betrayal affronted by his expression. Nevertheless, his feet did not stumble or break stride in response, allowing him to leave the room well in advance of the others, make his way to the elevator that would ferry one to the top of the castle, and explode into a screaming rage inside the metal box, easily drowning out the placid background music.

"He's here, he HAS to be here!" Tom snarled, leaving the metal wall of the elevator dented and white hot after angrily punching it in a rage. "Bill, BILL! I need answers! TALK TO ME!"

Abruptly, the prince's third eye blinked, emerging as something quite disparate from his other two, the bloodshot rage vanishing and a golden light seeming to radiate from within. "Can this wait Horns?" Tom's mouth spoke, but it was a completely different tone and emotional cadence that emerged, rushed and little bored instead of genuinely furious. "I got other business in my other body you know."

"Star is more confident and organized than I've ever seen her before when it comes to this royal stuff, she must have Marco helping her!" The demon's body spoke again, though this time with his original angry snarl. "I _knew _he'd remain an obstacle between me and Starship getting together again, and I bet he's somewhere in this castle..." Tom spoke aloud, beginning to pace a little inside the metal box before both his voice and his posture instantly calmed down again.

"Look, even if Beauty Mark and a bunch of other minions of Mewni were creeping around in the dungeons of this castle, working to undermine out diplomatic masterstroke in progress, it's no problem." Bill chattered using the borrowed mouth, Tom's third eye flashing gold whenever the dream demon was the one speaking. "We've got other goons in this castle to take care of them, and even if we didn't if everything works out up here it won't matter. You got the delivery, right?"

"Yeah, it's with Bisteeya and Jenny on the top floor." Tom answered back, then blinked in realization that the elevator was on the top floor, and it was time for him to step out. Looking around as he realized the immediate presence behind his third eye was gone, he aimlessly spoke to the air "Look, I got most of the points you explained memorized, but if things start to go bad... you can take over." before stepping out of the elevator.

_"NO PROBLEM HORNS, I'D BE DELIGHTED TO!"_

* * *

"...then she hit us with this weird shrink spell but that didn't slow me down! Me, Beardy and Potato Baby all grabbed a chainsaw and went right after her!"

"Uh huh."

"I was THIS close to taking her wand arm clean off with the thing too! We, we had her on the ropes, she was doomed!"

"Mmm hmm."

"I basically had her completely beat until that blasted toad in the grass stabbed me in the back... Master Toffee knew what he was doing when convinced Ludo to fire him you know, and he always told me I was the most astute in the army and he knew what he was talking about, so clearly..."

"So how did you get away from the exploding castle again?"

Down in the depths of Pigeon Castle, a squat green monster with a frilled neck and an elongated cranium topped with a spike was standing behind a slim humanoid bird man with a head plumage of soft orange and a brown bomber jacket over his torso. Though his eyes were hidden behind a pair of mechanic's goggles and his black beak couldn't emote quite as well as a mouth, it was obvious to the three hiding around a nearby wall that the avian was getting annoyed with the monster, even though they were also mostly looking at his back. Both clicking talon hands ceased their work of running wires and clay blocks along the dungeon wall to await the monster's answer.

"...I got kicked out of the room, fell down a drain and washed out of a sewer." The green monster admitted after a moment of uncomfortable silence, resulting in his feathered compatriot cracking a small, satisfied smile before going back to work, pulling a fresh block out of the burlap sack at his feet, squishing it against the wall until it stuck, then began picking out a pair of matching colored wires out from the mass of cables emerging from a black control box and sunk the exposed metal prongs on the ends of the wires into the white material. "...Look man, I'm a big deal, I'm a monster army veteran! You're still new to this dimension, you don't know our fight man!"

"This is what you and Star had been dealing with on the regular?" Kelly asked Marco in a whispered tone. She had planted her sword blade first into the ground and was leaning on the pommel to look around the corner, Dipper had his back and palms flat against the wall while barely peeking around, and Marco was crouched lower to look thing over.

"Yeah, pretty much." The boy in the hoodie answered, dryly but a little nostalgic as he thought back to the early battles he and the princess had fought together.

"And you didn't charge her for this nonsense?"

"Calm down mate, we're all Henchmaniacs now." The bird man remarked with a wearily sarcastic tone, rolling sharp view eyes under his goggles. Inside his head, the mercenary ruminated that _"Only the Underworld could pay me enough to put up with these clowns..."_

Looking over the two boys, Kelly whisper asked "So how do we want to handle this?"

Putting both hands out in front of him in a gesture of explanation before they moved through the air, pointing and gesturing to add a visual component to his plan's explanation, Marco replied with "Okay, I'm thinking all go in first, exploit the slightly larger blind spot to their right to sneak into position, and when he goes for another set of wires, Kelly rushed out and puts conehead in a rear chokehold while Dipper grabs the sword he has on his belt, then I'll do a wall kick, springboard off his face to launch a spinning jump kick onto the guy in jacket, then we..."

"Let me handle this." Dipper said simply and bluntly, flipping up the brim of his hat while his right hand went searching inside his jacket. Marco and Kelly both turned to focus on their new acquaintance, but any retort either had been building fizzled as they simultaneously noticed a deep, unnerving expression on the boy's face. At the mention of his group's name by the orange hued humanoid bird of prey, the Pines boy had gotten a cold and dark expression while his eyes seemed to be staring a million miles away. His left hand was clenching into a fist as memories of torment and destruction threatened to boil over into his field of vision, but instead of exploding into a rage the apprentice scientist produced one of his mentor's inventions from inside his jacket pocket, a soft hum filling the air and a blue light building inside the smooth metal barrel as Dipper flipped the switch.

"Hey, do you hear..." The long cranium monster never finished this sentence as the Stanford Pine's constructed energy weapon burst to life and punched a clean, circular hole through their elongated skull, causing their expression to instantly droop as thin streams of evaporating fluid to run down over their eyes, before the monster fell face first into the stone floor, making a crumpling noise like a wet garbage bag against the unyielding surface.

The brightly colored bird man was spinning around to face his attacker while throwing one talon hand into the folds of his bomber jacket, but even with his practiced speed could not outpace Dipper's surprise attack. The Pines had loosed another shot before the mercenary had even gripped his weapon, and a cloud of singed feathers erupted from the center-point between the eyes where he lanced the second energy burst, making an unfortunate mess of the man's beak as well.

"Dude." Marco intoned softly, voice flat with shock in reaction to the whole thing unfolding in about five seconds. "DUDE!" He yelled, now actively controlling his body again and reacting with horror to Dipper kneeling down over the clearly dead monster and exchanging the gun for a knife. However, the blade's quick work was limited to slicing away the monster's clothing in three strategic spots, the third of which revealed what the paranormal researcher had been looking for: a triangular, bright yellow tattoo.

Eyebrows scrunching with dismay as he stood back up to full height, Dipper muttered "I knew it." to himself before looking up and actively explaining to his companions that "The plastic explosives were my first guess and the name made it obvious, these guys work for Bill." The distant, pained edge to his voice was gradually fading, instead becoming a little crackly and play-it-off-casual as Dipper noticed the genuine surprise on Marco and Kelly's faces as they rounded the corner to join him ankle deep in his handiwork. "You guys uh... aren't the, you know, solve things with a hug and song about friendship or something type, right? I mean they were gonna blow up the castle you know."

Instead of answering immediately, Marco responded to Dipper's question with an incomplete flash trip down memory lane alone. Both of the boys from Earth had clouded, uncertain memories of a time of intense conflict and violence coloring their psyches, though while Dipper's memories of Weirdmaggedon were damped by intentional repression, Marco's experiences in the Neverzone remained incomplete in his mind despite his strongest mental efforts. _"It's strange, I still react with disgust and shock to violence in the immediate flash of seeing it happen, but the feeling dies down the longer I have to process it. I always thought it worked the opposite, but I guess it takes awhile for Old Marco's memories to come into play."_ He thought to himself. With an idle motion, the boy once mocked as a safe kid checked the bottom of his shoe, realized it was splattered with dirty blood from where he'd stepped, then realized he wasn't all that phased by it. _"It may still feel like a distant childhood memory, but I can still recall looking down on a red stained sword with nothing but pride. Really gives you perspective on mildly bloody shoe bottoms I guess..."_

The casual nature of this train of thought did startle Marco Diaz out of his mental reprieve, but as his vision came into focus again a troubled response died in his throat as he properly assessed the wall, the sentiment solidifying alongside his resolve, ensuring it would remain trapped in the depths and never emerge from the boy's throat. Having primarily experienced danger from otherworldly, magical sources, Marco was no expert on the military explosive technology of his native Earth but he had seen a lot of Mackie Hand movies, and the white, clay like blocks stuck to the walls of the castle, _t__he castle that Star Butterfly is standing in right now above his head, _were undoubtedly plastic explosives. "No, I don't think I am." He admitted at last, in a tone of voice indicating he fully considered the matter dismissed between them.

"Yeah, me neither." Kelly added casually as Dipper used his knife to sever all the wires from the black box, then used it to pry a few keys out of the device's control panel for good measure. "Just warn us before you surprise us like that again, okay?"

"Will do." Dipper said with a tone of sincerity, stepping away from the scene and already evaluating which corridor to take next in this dungeon. "Well, we'd better get moving, right guys? I'm sure the pigeons will be very interested in hearing about all this." He stated, and soon enough the three were off again.

As soon as the sound of their six feet stomping against the stone faded in the distance however, a much lighter eight legged tapping noise filled the now foul smelling dungeon room instead. A gigantic spider crept from a dark and expertly obscured break in the upper wall of the castle's stone foundation, its numerous eyes staying trained on the quickly dimming artificial light radiating around the corner the three choose to travel around.

Once the room was dark again, the work could begin, and slithering strings of spider silk attached themselves to the joints of the dead Henchmaniacs...

* * *

Back above, the elevator to the top of the castle now opened for Star, Pacifica, and Pony Head, who stepped through the opening doors to be greeted by a pair of reserved faced, middle aged Mewman women dressed in the soft red mild finery of Lucitor Kingdom royal servants or assistants. "Your majesty." Greeted the one on Princess Star's left as they both took a bow. She was the older of the two, of pale complexion and with a body that still looked that of a fit woman in her mid-fourties but with a face that had begun to age and wrinkle under the dual strain of time and hardship. "Prince Thomas has extended an invitation to his meeting with Richard of Pigeon."

"Please, this way." Spoke the one to Star's right at the two rose from their synchronized but short bow. This servant was clearly younger than her compatriot, though somewhat swarthy and sun tanned by comparison, though not enough for Star to make a mental comparison to Marco. Without any further words, the two turned around and walked away, inviting the three to follow them to the meeting in question.

"Man, who'd have guessed Prince Three-Eyes enjoys hunting cougars." Princess Pony Head snorted derisively, not caring if either departing domestic servant heard here, causing both her blond friends to have to visibly contain themselves to not burst out laughing at the sheer shock of the sudden crude commentary. Eventually though, the three were ushered into a comparatively small but well furnished (and well maintained, unlike the rest of the castle so far) meeting room, where a U shaped table with chairs on the outside curved around a circular metal bird perch connected to the ceiling, upon which waited Rich Pigeon, expression as unreadable as ever. Tom was already seated in one chair, persistent follower Brian besides him, and once Star, Pacifica and Pony Head took places on the exact opposite side of the desk, the two servants closed the finely carved wooden double doors to the room behind them, taking up a sort of guard outside the meeting room.

After waiting long enough to hear the vague noise of conversation starting up behind the closed doors the older of two, Jenny, asked "Did _it _arrive safely?" in a flat, cold tone.

The other servant, Bisteeya answered "Of course, it's in with the other celebration foods." in a crisp, quick tone. After a few more moments of silence though, visible worry broke out on her face, and she asked "Are you sure about this? Going about this like, well, _that_ seems like overkill, and worse it lacks subtlety."

"Well, keep in mind that the decision to do things this way is the only reason we hired you at all." The second Mewman woman explained in a curt, harsh tone, before taking a moment and visibly softening up. "This is just a backup measure in case something goes wrong, okay? Ideally, the prince will just talk everything over and we won't have to use _it._" Jenny explained firmly.

Letting out a sigh, Bisteeya conceded "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Hopefully nothing comes of_ this_..." but while Jenny didn't respond any further, inside her mind she was fervently disagreeing with the Pie Folk across from her who'd been hired on by the Lucitors for the job. Jenny wanted something very specific to come of this. Something bloody specific.

* * *

"So, Rich Pigeon and I were already chatting about a lot earlier, so why don't you say your fill Starship?" Began the conversation in the meeting room as Tom yielded the floor to the visiting princess. _"It won't really matter soon enough anyways..."_

Without acknowledging Tom, Star stood up from here chair and cleared her throat, taking a little longer than normal to prepare herself to talk. _"Right, okay. Time to be the best princess I can be!"_

"Hi! I mean, g... good to see you... Rich? Haven't seen you since the Silver Be... anyways we need to talk!" Star stuttered as she began to speak, causing Pacifica to facepalm, Pony Head to wince, Tom to arch his three eyebrows and Rich Pigeon remained impassive and unremarkable. While chattering away was normally not a problem for the Princess of Mewni at all, Pacifica's coaching had emphasized the importance of choosing her words carefully, and actually investing energy in thinking about her words instead of saying what came to her mind was now actually making it difficult for Star to speak. "I, as an representative of the Kingdom of Mewni am promoting an independent... group of prom, prominent..."

Gulping to herself as her nerves continued to mount, Star's demeanor was not helped by the acute knowledge that Tom was watching her every move. _"C'mon Starship, I know you're about as interested in all this royal schlock as me, but try and at least put on a nice face for it." _The prince thought to himself. _"Did the humans or your mom write all this for you?"_

Feeling a choking sensation begin to build in her throat and beads of sweat forming on her head, Star's eyes darted around the room to find little comfort, even excluding Tom and his anger managing henchman. Pony Head clearly had no idea how to salvage the situation either, Pacifica was as subtly as possible rotating her wrists around in a gesture telling Star to keep going, don't give up, and Rich was as unresponsive as every pigeon they'd seen so far had been. Star dug inside her mind to find more of the lines she'd only had a short amount of time to study, and abruptly her eyes became firm and her expression steely and solid. A small, confident smile even graced her lips and while no one else in the room could detect it, the mewman's wings were fluttering softly under her dress.

Rather than of the study session, Star's session grudged up memories of Marco in its quest for support, and his words about being queen her way, and his insight into the monster called Lobster Claws, rang through her head and gave her throat a surge of strength. "Alright, let's be real, this whole mewman/monster thing is ridiculous." Star spoke in a straightforward tone, surprising everyone at the table except Rich. "Despite being willing to work with everyone on the Magical High Commission and giving some kinds of people, like the Pony Heads, a pass, a bunch of different people get called monsters, pushed around and made to live in filth, and that's messed up. I want to get a bunch of royals to sign this article of friendship and participate at the upcoming Monster Bash Unification Celebration so that people can meet face to face, get to know each other, realize we're not all that different!"

"Really Star? That's your angle?" Tom abruptly spoke up, in a slightly bitter, chiding tone. This would normally be an appalling breach of etiquette to cut in like that, but Rich Pigeon remained impassive, allowing the debate to intensify between the two as Brian began to look concerned. "Just... throw a party? Get everyone face to face?"

"Well we need to start somewhere!" Star stated passionately, genuinely causing Tom to flinch in his seat in shock, dissolving the last traces of his bored attitude. "It's absurd that hardworking single father monsters like Buff Frog live in filth and instantly gets blocked from being made a _Monster _Expert while a goat that couldn't even communicate clearly was given a job overseeing all the magic in the multiverse!" Turning back to Rich Pigeon, Star implored that "I know that all of our kingdoms can be better than this Rich, that's why I brought this message to you! So we can build a better future together, for everyone!"

_"She believes that." _Tom realized, three eyes blinking as the thought washed over him. _"She believes every second of this. Star just genuinely doesn't get how this works. She thinks..." _Then, what felt like a jolt of lightning crossed Tom's brain, and his bewilderment faded into a cold knot of anger. _"It doesn't matter what she thinks."_

"Richard, surely you don't believe any of this." Tom stood up and interjected, despite the fact that the Pigeon hadn't actually responded to Star's explanation. "Do you truly believe the Kingdom of Mewni can be counted on to keep any promises they might make to monsters? They will only keep their word provided it will benefit them." Still at the table, Pacifica and Brian of all people shared the same look of worry, afraid their leaders might be losing control of the situation but unsure how anything they say could stabilize things.

"Oh, yeah, because you and _your _family have proven themselves to be incredibly trustworthy!" Star shot back, swiftly falling into the familiar dance of a shouting match with the Prince of the Underworld. Casting her eyes sideways at Rich, looking at Tom, and then back to Rich, the princess went with her gut and spilled the truth. "The Lucitors have been violating their trade agreements with Mewni and everyone else for decades, selling weapons to the exact same monsters they help mewmans push off their land! They're out for no one but themselves and you can't trust them!"

Pointing a finger as anger exploded in his eyes, Prince Tom shouted "You have no ground to stand on here Butterfly! Your family has no respect for anyone, even their own greatest allies, and they've betrayed the Lucitor family time and time again! Just like they'll betray the Pigeons!"

Ironically, the only Pigeon actually in the same was the furthest thing from either royal's mind as Star and Tom glared with anger at each other, their individual types of magic beginning to crackle across their hands and they began to take slow, heavy steps at each other, but before things could explode further Brian wrapped his arm around Tom's and Pacifica did the same for Star.

"Inmyofficalcapacityasanhonorarydiplomaticfigure for the Kingdom of Lucitor, I propose a recess!" Brian interjected, speaking rapidly at first and gradually slowing down as he rubbed Tom on the back and carefully drew him away from the point of explosion. "Easy now, easy does it your highness, remember your breathing..." He said softly, and then in an even lower whisper, added "She can't get anywhere by herself anyways, let's take ten and think things over."

Shooting Star one last burning glare, Tom simply turned on his heels and left out a single side door, to the visitor's suite he and his company had arrived in earlier, Brian rushing to stay behind him. Left behind in the room with her friends, Star was taking very deep breaths as she similarly tried to stifle her contempt for the prince of the Underworld, but once he was gone her mood turned from angry to distraught as the situation set in. Looking to her side, Star's mournful eyes met Pacifica's understanding but worried ones, and the continued sympathy from her fellow heiress did give Star a small spark of comfort. "Ugh, so, that was a disaster, huh?" She asked sardonically.

"Actually Star, I'd say you made an excellent impression."

* * *

Inside his private, warded suite, Tom was literally burning holes in the floor with his angry pacing, muttering to himself while Brian continued to offer platitudes to calm him down. "I hate her, I hate her so much, THIS IS WHY WE BROKE UP BRIAN, BECAUSE SHE'S SO UNFAIR!" He muttered, before abruptly raging at his anger management consular for a moment, who was very happy he had instructed the security team to soundproof the room on top of the usual protection magic. "I have understood since I was six years old, Brian, since I was SIX that is would be me and Star's duty when we grew up to marry one another and cleave together Mewni and the Underworld, making us one people, in both iron and blood!" Tom rambled, repeating the words of his father like a political slogan. "And now, not only does she continue to betray me, not only do her parents keep doing nothing about this, NOW she waves THIS in my face! This... this false veneer of respect, of equality!"

Brian remained seated in place on the foot of Tom's guest bed, eyes tracking the prince going back and forth behind his glasses. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when another tirade exploded from the prince. "Mewmans can never respect anyone or anything else, and respected alliances can't just be built with a party!" As he raged, Tom felt a deeper, weakening anger burning beneath the more overt, strength giving anger that he was experiencing, the kind of feeling he got whenever he was more acutely physically aware of his hidden tail, which even now was squirming with discomfort underneath his pants. _"And respect... respect isn't just a matter of blood, be it royal or monster." _He mused, mind involuntarily flashing passed memories of his own scornful subjects. Then, his mind turned again to thoughts of Star, and her magic wand. _"Respect is a matter of power." _

The prince finally came to a stop, leaning against the wall with his right hand flat against the surface, panting deeply and angrily as Brian looked on with concern. At a surprisingly rapid rate however, Tom's posture became less aggressive, his breathing slowed, and quickly enough Tom was standing up straight and fixing his bow tie, though he still hadn't turned around. "Master Tom?" Brian asked apprehensively. "Are you... are you feeling calmer?"

"Oh yes fleshbag." Tom said with a grin as his third eye began to glow yellow again. "I'm feeling better than ever. We need to... we... need to..." He trailed off, manic grin fading and replaced with a confused expression as the prince blinked several times. "Uh..., sorry about that, lost track of things. What was I talking about again?"

Now looking thoroughly concerned, Brian walked closer to his charge and patted him on the shoulder. "Master Tom, I am concerned that this diplomatic crisis may prove to be a significant and enduring point of stress for you, potentially exasperating your anger difficulties in a time when you need them under control more than I ever." After a moment of visible reluctance, he finished by saying "It may be time to consider undergoing a partial demoncism..."

"No. That's not an... an option." Tom muttered, voice rumbling from deep in his throat as he gradually regained focus, all three eyes blinking rapidly and out of sync. "My mewman half lets me hold so many demons in side Brian... SO many demons." He said in a strained voice, still a little dazed. "Enough to surpass even the wand of the Butterfly family, pops always said. I NEED all of them."

Taking a firm but tactful tone while placing a hand on the prince's shoulder, Brian replied that "But what good is all that power if you continue to let your anger make the decisions about using it and cloud your judgement? Your realization that your anger was getting in the way of accomplishing your goals was your first major breakthrough in this process, and it is important to stay focused on that to stay committed. A careful trimming of just the more... uncontrollable spirits would be a net positive for your abilities."

Letting his anger management coach's words flow through his still clouded minded, Tom struggled between the inherent sense the advice mind and his memories of receiving the exact same talk from Marco. However, the serene melody of a _Love Sentence _songabruptly filled the room, instantly snapping the prince from his daze. "Yes?" He asked curtly, after pulling his mirror phone from his pocket and snapping it to his ear. Brian watched with concern as Tom quietly listened to the call, and became more concerned when all three of his eyes coldly narrowed.

"I'll be right down."

* * *

"You can talk!?"

"He can talk!?"

"And with a strong handsome man voice!?"

Star, Pacifica, and Pony Head had all reacted with shock to Rich Pigeon abruptly breaking the silence, heads all abruptly turning to look at him, though moments later the sound of cooing and wings flapping from all around the walls caused them to look around in concern. With a weary chuckle, Richard explained that "Yes, yes, I can talk, and I imagine the guards we had in the walls are probably off to tell the King and Queen. There is a code among the flock against learning the language of Mewni, Princess Butterfly, and I have broken it."

"You don't sound very regretful to have done so." Pacifica remarked. A few years ago she'd have been incredulous at the idea of a pigeon generating so much genuine curiosity from her, but living in the thick of Gravity Falls' weirdness can change people.

"Because it's ridiculous." Rich stated bluntly, making no further secret of his disdain for the idea. "The Mewman language may have been why we were enslaved, but we only limit our potential and increase the amount of bribe money we have to pay out by refusing to learn how to use it." When three sets of eyes widened in response to this statement, Richard simply made a cooing noise, prompting a pigeon fully equipped with mechanical limps to enter through a side door and gently hold up a bird water feeder, which the royal sipped from to wet his throat in preparation. "I take it our true history is not particularly well known, then?"

"It... was a little vague, I won't deny." Star admitted, feeling much calmer now despite her confusion. Taking a seat, she recounted what they did now. "You guys came into prominence during mom's war against Toffee, provided a bunch of money for the land to be rebuilt with... which, good point, why are you guys so rich anyways?"

"Star..." Pacifica said under her breath, nudging the princess with her elbow. "You don't just ask people why they're rich. It's not proper for gentlemen to talk of money and all that." She whispered, recalling the words of her father.

"On the contrary, gentlemen seldom speak of anything else." Rich Pigeon said dryly, implicitly dismissing any implications he might have felt offense at Star's prying. "A great long time ago, we were not in anyways different from the many other examples of avian wildlife across the multiverse. Our scholars speak of a strange discontentment with this world of Mewni, rooted deep in our psyches that effects the most spiritually awake of our kind, but I cannot say I put any stock in the Lost Nest spiritual movement. Just a bunch of tricksters trying to amass wealth by convincing people this isn't our home, that we must seek out some kind of golden nest up in the sky to be happy..."

Feeling slightly uncomfortable at this rambling, Pacifica opted to speak up, asking "So, you were somehow granted intelligence, you mean?"

"Oh, yes! I apologize, I can get distracted once my thoughts turn to the anti-clerical, where was I..." Rich Pigeon caught himself, clicking his beak a few times before continuing. "Yes, our intelligence was boosted over hundreds of generations of service to the Mewman Office Of Telling, first gradually via selective breeding, and then rapidly, via alchemical manipulation." Noticing a slightly blank look in Star's eyes, Rich added that "It's an old company, well before any of our times. They delivered messages for the most part, via courier, ship, and for the highest rates, by my ancestors. Pigeons were trained to reliably fly all over the land, carrying letters between company offices. Some Pigeons are resentful of all Mewmans for those days, but I don't really hold it against them, we were just simple creatures back then." He added nonchalantly, then remarked "Though apparently we were not their initial creatures of choice. Princess Pony Head, are you at all familiar with an incident where ancient Mewmans attempted to train... your people, to carry out the vital work of mail delivery?"

Letting out a shudder, the flying princess gave Richard a withering glare in response. "Oh believe me, they make enough Hound and Pony Shows about it."

"Well, thank goodness Queen Jushtin smoothed over the misunderstanding, just as Queen Comet smoothed over ours." Rich continued, catching Star's attention in particular with mention of her direct grandmother. "You see, MOOT enjoyed their monopoly of the communications market for hundreds of uncontested years, until Pixtopia invented mirror phones and began selling them to Mewni. Actual mailed parlance was made obsolete practically overnight, and while the inertial fortune possessed by the communications cartel relative to the Pixie startup bought them some time, they were on an inescapable road to going out of business."

"So, rather than adapt their technology or withdraw from the market and reinvest their liquid capital in something more reliable, the Mewmans decided to fight a losing battle, right?" Pacifica asked, speaking with a casual degree of confidence. Looking sideways at the considerably more confused Star and Pony Head, the human blond remarked "Classic case of poor management."

"Precisely." Rich Pigeon stated. "In an attempt to make their delivery service model more and more profitable, the company pursued all possible avenues, and had the most interest in breeding stronger and smarter couriers, so they could pay less people and get more work in return. Attempts to augment the warnicorn express and their riders with reverse engineered Solarian magic and alchemy resulted in several unexpected personnel downsizings, but we Pigeons were the true successes. Our minds and bodies awakened to both full perception of the world around us and to imaginary worlds which we could now picture in our heads." Then, offhandedly, he clarified "Well, not me specifically, this was several Pigeon generations ago, but you get the idea."

Star nodded along, getting general idea. "You've really studied up on history."

"Oral history songs were also my favorite parts of the flock choir. Sadly I feel they would translate poorly into this language."

"So what happened during the war with Toffee?" The princess asked.

"We took the opportunity that presented itself to us, though it manifested before The Immortal One took the reigns of the rebellion." Rich Pigeon explained matter of factually, though with a serious disposition regarding the subject. "The company knew we'd become smarter but not the complete scale of our awakening, and the dual factors of us becoming more capable as MOOT lost business meant there was more and more culling to reduce our numbers so as to not spend increasingly limited funding on birds they didn't have work for." The three visitors to the avian castle winced with genuine sympathy, right before he added "And MOOT was considering siding with monsters, so we figured no one would really mind if we... replaced them."

"Wait, wait, wait... whuuuut?" Star asked, properly taken aback by learning this. "Were they monster sympathizers or something?"

"No, they had hoped to become the exclusive communications arm of the new monster empire if they had won. They'd need a way to communicate with other dimensions if they won after all, and though it was a dead on arrival last minute failure, the company still had the equipment from their brief stab at inter-dimensional mail couriering. Ridiculous idea for a business, only highlighted how much better mirror phones are to be frank with you..." The pigeon prince said a little offhandedly, before focusing himself. "Regardless, the takeover was easy enough. We'd long since become smart enough to establish small, reproducing colonies of escapees in the surrounding forests, so after circulating our message through the delivery courier network through the carrier pigeons carrying mewman mail over the network, we simply swarmed the castle. Plan A was to simply keep pooping everywhere until the mewmans were all driven out, but small fights and some deaths did occur in order to sabotage their extermination efforts."

"What, and you haven't cleaned up any of the bones since then?" Pony Head said agitate. "Clearly MOOT did so poorly you didn't even have enough money left to clean the place up!"

"Normally it wards off unwelcome visitors. All the extra traps we added help of course." Rich Pigeon replied with a very dry tone of voice, before adding more normally that "And we only have so many limb enhancers to go around you know." Then, more seriously, he resumed telling the story of his people. "We did not slaughter them to the last, as some might claim..."

"I've never heard anyone claim that." Star stated.

"...but the remaining inhabitants were driven out of the castle into a Mewni torn apart by conflict with monsters, and their attempts to regain the castle by force were always small and poorly equipped, and the last one occurred only two years after our takeover. Scholarly consensus is that they were effectively lost in the war or at least disbanded as a coherent population. Perhaps..." The nouveau rich avian said, a twinge of regret clearly in his voice before shaking his head and focusing back on the explanation, but it was obvious to all that Richard had thought about this part of history a lot. "Queen Comet eventually came to us, as part of her effort to work out a peaceful end to the monster conflict, she was visiting everyone at the time. The ballads say she sympathized with us fighting in defense of the young who would be culled and earned the affection of our ancient leaders with delicious home cooked deep fried worm pie, but I can't help but wonder if her motives were more pragmatically motivated and it was strictly an exchanging of political favors, regardless, in exchange for promises of economic support Queen Comet legitimized our existence as a political entity and admitted us to Mewni's collection of allies."

"How much money did you actually have to offer Mewni?" Pacifica asked with genuine curiosity. "From the sound of it the company had been losing money for years before you took over."

"Well, we got out of the communications game as soon as possible. Pigeons had been the ones fighting the war against the pixies out on the courier routes, they realized it was unwinnable." Rich explained, sounding quite proud of his ancestor's ingenuity and accomplishment. "We immediately liquidated all assets and made every effort possible to leave the communications market. To finance our new ventures, we sold everyone's personal information to Pixtopia for them to use for advertising purposes and then invested the money wisely and diplomatically."

"Wait, is it really that easy to get rich? Mom's always going on about how it's the blessings of worthy bloody that grant wisdom and foresight and all that over boring stuff..." Star commented offhandedly, before her mirror phone began to and she habitually checked it, eyes widening in shock and letting out a gasp at the message she had received. "A handsome Woolet prince wants to give me a hundred bars of gold if I help him escape Castle Garinie? And all he needs is my credit card information!?" After a moment of wild eyed contemplation, Star quietly folded the phone back into her pocket, put both hands on the softly glowing hearts on her face, closed her eyes and looked softly happy. "Nah. I already have the only prince I need."

Taking another drink from the provided bottle of water, Richard concluded things by saying "We were on track to support Comet's peace treaty with the Monster King, but then, well, Toffee made quite a mess of things and the deals Comet had signed with us passed on to your mother when she inherited, and while she's upheld them up so far we are almost certain she does not understand our history in depth, Star Butterfly. We suspect Comet likely spread the story of the company simply being annihilated in the crossfire to make our integration into the more peaceful world she was trying to build smoother."

"And now you've told me all this." Star realized aloud in a sobering tone of voice, unable to help herself but to think back to Song Day and all the trouble that caused. "What made you decide to trust me?" she asked, not certain herself.

With a tone of genuine worry, Rich Pigeon answered "Because I suspect I did not have much of a choice but to do so. I have long wanted to break the code against learning the language of Mewni and open further relations between our peoples, and our troublesome history is one such secret the code is explicitly supposed to protect, but I believe attempting to keep something a secret forever is a doomed endeavor. We're a people of spies and merchants after all Star, we depend on secrets and they always have a way of getting out." He explained. "I believe the interests of Pigeon kind would be best served by coming clean on our terms and focusing on the future instead of the past, and as such, I'd be happy to mingle it up with the youth of monsters and Mewni alike, and would be happy to sign your petition."

"Alright! Let's fix the future with a really messed up party!" Pony Head cheered in success while Pacifica opted to give Star a warm smile.

"But beyond that, I'm not sure how much I can actually help you." The Pigeon prince added quickly and apologetically. "Any formal action would have to be taken by the King and Queen, and I know for a fact they do not agree with me on this matter."

"That's alright Rich, this is already a big success for us!" Star answered enthusiastically, feeling a glowing of satisfaction building in her stomach as Pony Head and Pacifica shot her encouraging smiles. Then, with more reserved confidence, she added "And don't worry about the King and Queen, I have a gift coming up that should make a good impression on them, provided they know their history as well as you do." Inside her head, the princess was directing some intense feelings of gratitude towards Pacifica. _"Thank you so much for going through the common records in place of the spell book, and digging into Grandma Comet's published recipe book. That deep fried worm pie we had made as a diplomatic gift is going to go over great!" _A brief flicker of worry danced on Star's brow as she remembered where the pie was and the situation it was in, but after a moment, her face was completely confident again. _"Marco will pull through. He'll return from that dungeon clean enough to eat it off of!"_

* * *

"Marco, I don't know if you're going to be able to pull through."

Dipper Pines had said this while after he and Kelly had made an attempt to pull the Diaz boy through the horizontal tunnel they'd been crawling through one at a time. The hidden dungeon passage they'd discovered opened into a dusty, abandoned wine cellar, and the doorway to the rest of the castle was tantalizingly close, just up a short flight of creaky wooden stairs. Unfortunately, due to the backpack he was wearing, Marco was unable to exit the slightly narrowed end of the tunnel. "I told you to consider leaving the backpack behind."

"It's... HRRRR! Too important to Star to leave behind!" Marco responded, after struggling to pull himself out of the hole in the wall. "It's got a food gift for the pigeons that she's really excited to offer to them, as a token of good will, and I won't let her down by losing it!" He explained further, before launching into another strained attempt to push himself to freedom.

Kelly, who was munching on same french fries while all this was happening, commented with her mouth full that "I've got more take out stuffed in my hair. I got it so we could all share lunch after a job well done, but if Star buys a new one we can give them this."

"Somehow I don't think corn burgers are going to impress the royalty here, even if they are pigeons." Dipper remarked dryly, while rolling his eyes. "Come on Kelly, let's give this one more try. Marco, you push while we pull, and if this doesn't work you'll use a fast return switch to escape that to Earth until we can use the scissors to retrieve you, okay?"

The other two nodded in agreement, and with Kelly grabbing Marco's right arm and Dipper grabbing his right, the final attempt began! Pulling harder and stronger than they had on the two previous attempts to dislodge the stuck boy from earth, the three were motivated to go even further when they felt Marco worm loose by just an inch, leading to their eyes closing with strain as more and more inches yielded to them the longer they pulled...

"YES!" Marco yelled on instinct as his body finally popped free of the cramped tunnel he'd been stuck in, circulation beginning to return to his legs, but relief turned to surprise when instead of collapsing down onto his friends, the boy seemingly defied gravity and fell up into the air. "WOAH!"

"WHAT THE!?"

"Oh no."

To the group's mutual surprise, they had only managed to pull the latino boy out of the tight spot due to a contributor they had previously been unaware of: silk strings lowering from the ceiling, connecting to Dipper and Kelly's back and snagging Marco by the foot as soon as he popped free. The two pullers were unable to see what was drawing them upwards, as they were being lifted up by the back, eyes focused on the ground, but from his upside down position Marco had the perfect vantage point, not even needing to crane his neck to view the ceiling now.

"Hey Marco?" Dipper asked dryly.

"Yeah?"

"There's a giant spider up on the ceiling, isn't there?"

"Seems like it."

All three of them were fighting back as soon as they felt larger sections of their body connect to the vast spiderweb that had been weaved across the high ceiling of the wine cellar. The eight legged shape nesting in the corner of the room began to climb across the web, numerous bright red eyes seeming to glow when contrasted with its sleek purple body and clicking, dripping fangs. Kelly managed to wiggle an arm loose, and since her sword was still laying on the floor where she'd set it down before grabbing Marco, went straight into pummeling it in the eyes, while Dipper was trying to wiggle a hand free so he could retrieve one of the weapons he still had stored on his person.

The boy in the red hoodie had not yet been fully connected to the giant web, as the spider had only wrapped one silk stream around both his ankles before it had shifted its attention to weave its dripping fangs towards Kelly, trying to work a bite through her practiced punching. Taking advantage of this by steadily rocking himself back and forth to build up momentum, and then at the high point of the pendulum arc he'd made for himself pulled his legs in to leverage himself up, close enough to deliver a punch to one of the spider's eyes! Having much more strength to it than Kelly's webbing slowed and defensive punches, this sent the giant spider skittering away across the net, though not without using one of its eight legs to land a solid jab back into Marco's chin, causing his pendulum swing to rapidly reverse direction.

"Marco!" Dipper called out in concern, as he fought even harder to break free. The other earth teenager had been knocked backwards along the swing he had propelled himself up, resulting in his body slamming hard into the stone walls behind him. Hanging upside down limply and by his feet after impact, Marco let out a dazed "I'm fine!" once the pendulum motion he was in ran out of energy, then made the mistake of looking down after noticing his backpack at slipped off and fallen to the floor from the impact. "Oh no I'm not..." He gurgled, turning slightly green from the disorientation he was feeling.

The giant spider was hissing with what was probably anger as it recomposed itself on the far side of the web, a nasty and asymmetrical lump forming around the eye that got it. Before it could step across the delicate webbing to try again, the door to the wine cellar slammed open, catching everyone's attention. The initial flash of light into the dark basement was initially blinding, but even before their eyes adjusted, the three teenagers could clearly make out three burning red within the glare. The spider, now significantly less energetic, lowered itself to the floor with a fresh length of silk from its spinneret.

"Marco." The prince of the underworld declared, eyes narrowing as his suspicions were confirmed.

"Tom!?" The red hoodie wearing boy said with obvious shock and surprise but not yet with any fear or disgust.

"Bill." Breathed the Pines twin with both apprehension and determination, convinced he'd seen the half-demon's third eye flash yellow for just a moment.

"pssst...Kelly!" Came a sharp but almost inaudible whisper from inside the spider web.

"What... Tad, are you still living in my hair? Now is not the time!"

"Is breaking into royal castles you aren't wanted at some kind of... thing, you people on Earth do, just to pass the time?" Tom asked, genuinely uncertain to a small degree despite his snarky tone. Still at the top of the stairs, the prince abruptly looked down at the giant spider when it began to hiss and click angrily. "Yes, yes I know this isn't... what do you mean they're dead!?" The royal teen answered, first dismissively, then taken by surprise as his unexpectedly two-sided conversation with the giant spider took a direction he wasn't expecting. Pinching his brow with annoyance, Tom hastily answered "Okay, okay, I know this is a little outside your contract but you can get both their shares if you pull through for me on this, okay?"

"Both their shares..." Marco said aloud, gradually being horrified by his realization and suddenly getting what Tom meant about breaking into castles. "Tom, you hired those guys back there, the guys with the _bombs!? _Are you still mad about the Blood Moon Ball!?"

"He could also be referring to me." Dipper remarked, having gotten himself stuck slightly sideways trying to work his way free. "I happened to ruin another Castle Lucitor dance not that long ago, its what kicked off all this diplomatic business actually." Despite this casual choice of words, Dipper had a very concerned look on his face, eyes only daring to glance over at Kelly when Tom was fully focused on Marco, hoping the prince hadn't spotted the small detail he thought he had, and hoping even more that his eyes weren't simply playing tricks on his desperate brain. Despite this care however, the Pines twin couldn't shake the feeling that Tom's third eye was only looking at him.

The flair of anger that instantly arced across Tom's face in response to Marco's initial question was all the answer the boy from Earth needed. "You lied to me Marco." The prince stated with a cold seething, thought it carried an odd inflection, seemingly one last sliver of uncertainty, though about what the captured three couldn't tell. "I heard the truth about everything on Song Day, and should have never let you sweet talk your way out of my dungeon. You..." He hesitated for a moment, then coldly finished with "...You will no longer stand in the way of the unification of me and Star's two kingdoms."

The air was still for a moment, quiet. The tension felt thick enough to cut with a knife, and when Marco finally broke the silence, it was after shooting Tom a venomous gaze that still looked intimidating despite his upside down position. "Tom..." He spoke, starting off flatly but with a voice that was boiling higher and higher with emotion on every word. "...Take this chance while you still have it and walk away. If you keep this up, keep chasing after Star with your usual _bullshit..."_

Tom flinched, and instantly chastised himself mentally for doing so. Marco had never sworn once during his short lived friendship with the Lucitor Prince, and spat out this particular expletive with a surprisingly harsh burst of venom. Quick to regain face, Tom put on a sneer and asked "Or what? _You'll _do something about it?" The implication, that Marco was nothing but an earth peasant and couldn't hurt the heir of the Underworld even if he tried, was clear, but in response Marco couldn't help but grin, which only seemed to unnerve Tom more. For as long as the half demon had known the human in the red hoodie, Marco had always been patient and diplomatic, but the grin he had at the moment could send a chill down the spines of Hell's most passionate sadists, a tight competition if there ever was one.

"You won't survive Tom." Marco stated simply, making it clear the threat wasn't coming from him personally, he was just the messenger. All he had to do was think back to Toffee's horrible death to say that statement with complete confidence. "Stop playing this game while you still can Tom. This is more serious than you can possibly imagine."

"You know... you make a good point Marco." Tom answered, in a surprisingly understanding sounding tone of voice. Marco and Kelly both looked surprised at this, but Dipper just rolled his eyes and used his expression to indicate, with as much subtlety as possible, that they should keep going. "It's a good thing I'm in such a great position to just frame the Pigeons for your death. Takes the fun out of roasting you like I'd been looking forward to... but your lesson about how helpful restraint can be did make an... HEY!"

Right before the demon prince could finish his monologue, Tad had finally used a backup knife Kelly kept stored in her hair to discreetly cut the Woolett warrior free of the spider's web, causing her to drop to the floor, curling herself into a protective ball of hair on the way down and bounce of the weaver that had imprisoned her and her friends. "Go babe go!" Cheered Tad, who was now entangled in the spider web himself.

"STOP HER!" Tom shouted at the giant spider, but it was still too dazed from being landed on to spring into action. Grinding his teeth together, Tom turned his attention back to Marco and lobbed a fireball at his rival, but Kelly had bounced off the spider and landed right next to her sword, and uncurled from her hair just in time to pick it up, hurl it at the silk string binding Marco's feet and cut it just in time for him to fall out of the path of the fireball.

Dipper's struggle to escape went into overdrive as the missed spell caused the web to ignite and burn rapidly, but as a silver lining the structural compromise caused by the spreading fire finally let him break free! Thinking fast, Dipper threw his back at the wall, and while the remains of spider silk stuck to his back weren't enough to completely negate the pull of gravity, they did catch fast to an extent and slow his decline, letting the boy slide to the floor at a manageable pace.

The other human hadn't proven so lucky, and Kelly briefly winced at the sight of Marco dropping straight to the stone floor, which was looking less and less preferable to the fireball he might have been able to swing out of the way of. Her fears and Tom's confidence were put to rest however, when Marco sprung to his feet just moments after landing, and without hesitation charge forward up the stairs, eyes locked in on Tom, who was only returning his gaze with two of his eyes, while the third was locked on Dipper. The fact that both humans were about to attack him registered with plenty of time to spare for Tom, taking note of Marco curling his right hand into a fist as he climbed the stairs and Dipper producing an energy weapon with one hand while sliding down the wall.

However, he chose very poorly when it came time to decide what to dodge.

A flash inferno burst to life under Tom's well dressed feet, letting him rapidly slide backwards a few inches on his heels, leaving nothing but an after image of his horned head for the beam of light to lance through as Dipper pulled the trigger. To Tom's surprise though, Marco practically burnt his nose on the laser beam to keep charging forward, the human's enraged tan face being the first thing all three of the prince's widening eyes registered when the bright flash cleared from his vision. The second thing his body registered was Marco's fist managing to punch straight through his chest and come out the other side of his torso.

"How the hell did you do that!?" Dipper yelled in surprise, before peeling loose from the wall and falling the short remaining distance to the floor with little trouble. Kelly on the other hand just let out of a supportive cheer.

Tom could feel broken bones jabbing his soft insides with every in and our breath he took, his demon powers unable to instantly heal him due to the limb still shoved all the way through his torso. Instinctively, the spirits he shared his body with jabbed at the foreign object, trying to burn it to a stump with a thousand sparks of collective hellfire, but a faintly familiar golden light seemed to repel them, only causing the wound to burn and ache the longer it was allowed to fester. Pain was a more easily managed feeling for demons of every stripe, but this injury was making Tom profoundly uncomfortable, almost as if the hole punched in his torso was letting in a numbing draft that threatened to snuff out his inner fire.

Both boys looked up from the wound Marco had inflicted, the human's eyes swelling with anger and two faint streams of tears, while Tom was simply looking at his frenemy with disbelief. "Was it all a lie Tom?" Marco asked, in a soft tone of voice, genuinely not sure if he already knew the answer. The demon prince was lost for an answer, left fumbling even as the gaping wound in his chest felt like it was expanding with each second he said nothing. The yellow light flashed through his third eye for just a moment however, and suddenly Tom knew the answer.

"It doesn't matter." He said, in a much more flat and cold tone than anyone who knew the volatile prince would have expected. The first burst to life under his feat again and rocketed Tom backwards again, letting him slide off Marco's arm and finally heal with a janky, puppet like motion. As soon as the half-demon flew through the open doorway behind him, the door to the cellar slammed shut on its own, and a pair of dark chains meeting in a skull shaped lock at the center materialized. The burst from this jet flight knocked Marco back and sent him hurtling off the side of the staircase, but Kelly dove and caught him at just the right moment.

"Nice one Diaz, you gave him one heck of punch!" Kelly complimented enthusiastically as the two stood up and dusted themselves off, both ignoring Tad, whose small body remained stuck in the burnt remains of the spider web on the ceiling.

"Alright, we need to have a serious talk about what is and isn't survivable by the human body when all this is over with..." Dipper commented, walking over to the two after pelting the giant spider with dusty wine bottles until it was either dead or doing a very good job of faking it. "You guys up to try and break some demonic looking chains forged in the fires of hell itself?" He asked with a sardonic but confident grin while pointing a thumb over his shoulder at the staircase.

Sliding his backpack of supplies back over his shoulders, the seemingly barely hurt Marco answered with "I haven't let anything else I've encountered get between Star and I yet, not even her incredibly scary parents. Those chains don't stand a chance."

On the other side of the door, Tom lay slumped against a castle wall, breathing heavily as the wound on his chest steadily closed. The chain summoning had taken more out of him than he had expected given his heavy injury, causing his natural magic to feel sluggish and unresponsive when he tried to command it, as if it were fighting something to get out and materialize. His head was swimming with a volatile rush of emotions, pulling him towards numerous conflicting courses of action, until a concerned voice broke him from his borderline trance.

"Master Tom?"

It was Brian, who was standing a short distance from the prince, flanked by the two Mewman attendants and looking concerned. Before the anger couch could say more, Tom's eyes rolled back in his head and he rose from the ground via his still hazy powers, floating to his feet like a stiff puppet on a string. In a flash, he had stepped past the three and was already calling up the skeleton horse carriage on his mirror phone. "You two, finish the mission." He said curtly to the two Mewman women, before simply beckoning for Brian to come with him, back to the Underworld. From Tom's perspective, the situation had become unsalvageable, but there was more than one perspective that could be seen through his three eyes...

**_AUTHORS _****_NOTES_**

_Alright, and the story is back again! Hope this didn't prove too much of a wait after the delay that went into the previous update's double dimension chapter posting, and hopefully the material was worth it. I'd honestly be struggling to work out how to close this chapter to tell the truth, and it kept needing revising in a lot of places to get everything fitting together just right. Thank you all for reading and I hope you've enjoyed. _


	13. The Mystery of Castle Pigeon Part 2

Within one of the tall towers of Pigeon Castle, the now successful diplomatic team from Mewni was simply waiting patiently now, as there was little else to do at the moment. Rich Pigeon had hammered out as many details as he currently could with Princess Star, but for things to progress any further the King and Queen of the Pigeons would need to be involved, and he had the impression they'd be summoning him at any moment.

"Princess Star, if I might inquire a little while we wait for my inevitable summons..." Rich Pigeon spoke up, breaking the initial silence that had settled over the room. "...Can you confirm if the information that came to light on the most recent Song Day is factual?"

Pacifica looked like she was ready to tune this conversation out, initially silently writing it off as goofy nonsense, until Pony Head poked her on the shoulder and gave the blond human a "this is gonna be good" mischievous grin.

"Weeeeeell..." Star said reluctantly, twiddling a finger through her hair in a display of nerves. "It is true, the Book of Spells is currently no more but we're looking into..."

"No no, not that, don't be boring." Rich interrupted in a voice that still managed to sound impeccably polite. "I mean the announcement of your... dalliance, with the lucky boy from Earth."

Letting out a nervous laugh, Star opened her mouth but caught herself before saying what she had in mind. _"Well, I guess it ended up true after all..." _She thought to herself, realizing their was comparatively less to be embarrassed about from that day. Closing her eyes while her cheek marks glowed soft pink, Star eventually answered with "It wasn't true on Song Day, but it is now. Me and Marco are dating and I couldn't be happier with it."

"This sounds like a story worth hearing." Pacifica said with a tone of playful coyness to her new friend, causing Pony Head to let out a snort and explain, inbetween laughs, that "There's less than you'd think girl. Some royal musician or something was introduced to her and Earth Turd for less than a day, and instantly knew they were disgustingly deep in love."

Face going from warm pink to bright red, Star turned and shouted "GIRLS!" in scandalized disbelief at her two friends, which just prompted good natured laughter from the two.

"Literally everyone could see it except you, B-Fly. I'm glad to see Earth Turd decided to stop screwing around and finally just asked you out already." The flying princess responded, prompting a lidded, sideways look from Pacifica.

"That almost sounds like a compliment coming from you, princess." The human girl said jokingly. "I didn't think you had it in you, being removed along with the rest of your body and positive traits."

"What a pity, I was hoping perhaps we might get married to speed up the unity of Mewni's people."

The back and forth banter between the three girls came to an end as they all stood in awkward silence at the realization that Rich Pigeon had just said that, his avian face as difficult to read as ever. After a few moments though, the pigeon began to shake on his perch and let out a soft, cooing laughter. "My apologize Princess Butterfly, I speak in jest. We'd make a terrible royal couple." He explained jovially, getting some laughter from the other three in the room. "We wouldn't be able to have any children, you see, and that means any political gains our union achieves would last no longer than our individual lives."

After that, a more permanent silence fell across the meeting room again as everyone settled in to wait for the inevitable. When the heavy knocking finally sounded out from the wooden door to the rest of the castle, Rich had been practicing his explanation on his roost, Star was climbing around a chair while clearly getting antsy, Pony Head was chatting into her mirror phone and Pacifica had leaned back in a chair to file her nails. All of them looked at the door expectantly, expecting a power suited pigeon to be behind it... only for the door to slowly creek open and reveal an awkwardly smiling Marco Diaz.

"MARCO!" Star shouted with joy, jumping over the chair she was on as the boy in the red hoodie stepped through the door and closed it behind him. Before she could envelope him in a hug however, the door slammed back open, crushing Marco between the wall and the door as three pigeon guards on power legs shuffled in the room and began angrily cooing at everyone in sight. In a disgruntled voice, Rich yelled back in mewman "Yes, yes, calm down! I'll go, I said..." before devolving into cooing himself, which eventually caused the noise in the room to die off, the last speaker being Pony Head, who'd simply started babbling along with the general ruckus.

As the leader of the three guards and the only one equipped with arms as well as legs stepped forward and gently extended a finger for Rich to jump onto, the door to the room creaked shut, revealing a squashed flat Marco. Star walked over to him with a worried expression, gripping her wand sideways with both hands under her chin, only to smile with delight when he popped off the floor, miraculous still intact pie held up proudly in one hand.

Star swiped the pie out of its perfectly balanced perch on Marco's hand, gave him a kiss on the cheek in return for it, then practically skipped over to the big guard holding Rich. With a flourish and a curtsy, Star extended the pie on one hand in supplication before the clearly amused Richard. "As a token of the Kingdom of Mewni's commitment to good will and understanding, please accept this personal gift for you king and queen!" Star recited flawlessly but excitedly, and while the guard didn't initially react to the offer, some sharp cooing from Rich motivated him to carry it with the other mechanical arm. Soon the guards departed, and Star broke out into full on, sparkling eyed bouncing in place excitement.

"Marco, you did it! Back just in time with Grandma Comet's deep fried worm pie!" Star exclaimed, eagerly jumping across the room to embrace her boyfriend in celebration, who seemed to stiffen slightly at the blond's sudden and enthusiastic touch.

"Marco, where's Dipper and Kelly?" Pacifica asked from across the room, not yet worried but wanting an answer. Meanwhile, Star's hands had gone from wrapping around Marco's frame to inquisitively pawing around his back, as if she was searching for something.

Blind to the concerned look Star had with her face on his shoulder, Marco answered simply that "They popped back to Earth to get around the castle's various traps." He said.

Star had by now released her hug on the boy in front of her, feeling something inexplicably wrong in his touch and his voice. She felt like a nerve in her head was being pinched and stretched despite her lack of movement, but the pull in her head wasn't leaning towards the boy in the red hoodie in front of the princess. She frowned at him, which made him frown at her.

Without any further prompting or warning, Star lifted up one of Marco's arms and took a deep sniff of his armpit. Pacifica and Pony Head both wrenched in disgust at this, but their expressions shifted to shock less than a second later when Star struck like lightning and slammed her other hand, clenched into a fist, into the pit she'd exposed.

"What the hell St...STAR!" Pacifica reacted in shock, shouting and jumping across the room as the princess followed up this sucker punch by holding her wand over the boy after he collapsed to the floor, a green haze building up around. Surprisingly, Pony Head backed the human up on this, adding "Easy girl! Even I think that's a little rough for earth turd!" But neither of them could cross the room before the name of the spell left the cold faced lips of the princess.

"Burning Shadow Return."

The spell worked in a quick flash of light, sparing the other two in the room from the sight of it by virtue of their instinctive movements to shield their eyes from the flash of light, but Star watched every second of it. A gentle green spark floated out of her wand, no less than an ember lost in the wind, but when it made contact with the figure beneath her, and more importantly, the layer of glamour magic coating its body, the spark burst into a brief but raging green flame, converting the entire magical disguise into fuel to burn away. When the flash fire was gone, so was the illusion of Marco: left behind was the younger of Tom's two servants, Bisteeya, trembling on the floor even as the phantom fire vanished into nothing.

Though Pacifica and Pony Head had been severely confused by Star's initial burst of violence against the newly returned Marco, the truth of the situation was abundantly clear to them now. Their confused energy had shifted into a reserved observation of how Star wanted to handle things. Based on the expression the princess was wearing, it didn't seem like she wanted to handle it pleasantly.

The servant on the floor was trembling as her eyes widened with surprise, and a faintly uncomfortable, hot tingling spread across her entire body as a flickering green light encased her body, as the trembling with rage blond princess picked Bisteeya up with a wave of her wand, then harshly slammed her against the wall. 'Where's Marco!? What has Tom done to him!?" She demanded to know, not an ounce of her usual humor or warmth in Star's voice.

Even though she had similar questions and feelings regarding her own boyfriend, Pacifica was taken by surprise by the sudden change of attitude in her royal friend. Pony Head took quick notice of this, prompting her to comment "Star can get _rough _when people are threatening Earth Turd." with an equally unusual straight and serious attitude. "She ever give you the full story of what she did to Toffee?"

"Not the full story, no." Pacifica responded, noticing Star was lifting the Lucitor servant off the wall and slamming her back into it in-between asking her questions. To her own mixed feelings, Pacifica realized she was not feeling any emotional desire to stop the princess.

"The end result was very _messy." _Pony Head said cryptically. "Look, as much as I don't really like any of you earth turds, I hope Marco's okay, because things are gonna get _whack _if Tom's messed him up."

* * *

"AAAGHHHH!"

The pained screams of the karate fighting boy from Earth echoed in the dank, dark crypts beneath Pigeon Castle, as a pained, burnt hand drew back from the devil chain locked door that stood between him and freedom. Hissing under his breath and waving his hand before blowing on the white hot knuckle, Marco stepped back after failing to chop his way through the supernaturally reinforced door.

Watching from a few steps down the stairs, Dipper held a hand on his chin in genuine curiosity, remarking "You know, I genuinely wasn't sure he was going to fail at that. I mean, I'm not surprised he did, but at the same time I'd believe it if Marco managed to knock that thing down with just his hands, I've seen him survive crazier nonsense today."

"Yeah, yeah, Marco's cool and all but now it's time for the expert to take a swing at things!" Kelly remarked, as she stepped up to take the human boy's place as he stepped back down the stairs to nurse his aching hand.

"You're an expert at punching doors?" Dipper asked in a dry tone of voice as the Woolett wound up her arm to punch the devil chained door head on, causing her to briefly pause in order to scoff at him.

"Not JUST doors! I punch immobile targets the size of buildings all the time!"

"Right. Tad, you want to take a swing at it, should this not work?" Dipper asked while helping Marco to bandage up his hand.

From inside Kelly's hair, Tad answered with "I'm more of a lover than a fighter to be honest."

"Naturally."

Experimentally flexing his fingers one at a time and wincing slightly (and further confusing the other human present on how his hand wasn't a bloody pulp) Marco said sincerely "Thanks Dipper, I appreciate it." before asking "Do you think its time we just portal back to earth if Kelly can't knock this door down?"

Taking a moment to think this over with a troubled expression, Dipper answered with "I... don't think so. I know you want to get the pie Star was going to offer the pigeons up to her soon, but I think the evidence down in the dungeon that the Lucitors were prepared to blow up their castle might be just as good at getting the pigeons on our side, and if we abandon this door, what's to stop Tom from just walking down through it and disposing of all the evidence? I don't think we can risk it, and if he does just come charging through there at some point we'll need our team to be at full strength."

Nodding, Marco answered "That makes sense." before letting a more troubled expression get across his face. "Tom though... I'd really thought he'd changed for the better and I was kind of liking being his friend, but I guess my first impression of him was the most accurate one."

"What was your first impression of him?"

"That he was a sexual predator aiming to become Star's abusive boyfriend."

"Ouch." Dipper winced with genuine sympathy. The boys sat next to each other in awkward silence for a moment on the cellar stairs while Kelly wailed away at the door above them, to no avail. Eventually, with a slow and measured choice of words, Dipper spoke again. "Look, I actually knew someone similar, believe it or not. His name was Gideon Gleeful, and before you say that's not a real name, his dad was named Bud so clearly the entire family is completely insane on top of being stupid. He was a tyrannical con artist non-denominational television evangelist with a possessive obsession over romancing my sister Mabel and murdering me. And he was only six years old or something at the time, somehow."

"That's fucked up." Marco said without hesitation.

"That whole summer was fucked up." Dipper answered dismissively before continuing his explanation. "Anyways, we foiled a bunch of schemes launched by him to steal our house and get Mabel for himself, and they only got worse over time. By one of our last encounters with him he was perfectly willing to kill Mabel along with me, despite how much he claims he loves her. Tom sounds like he's the same way, maybe he was just manipulating you or maybe he was genuinely trying to change. It doesn't matter. People like him and Gideon are just too dangerous to risk giving even an inch. You and Star will be better off with him completely removed from your life."

Marco thought about this for a moment, analyzing the threat posed by the demon prince with a head unclouded by the rush of danger and battle. "So, what ended up happening to Gideon?" He asked after contemplating things.

"He threw in with Bill Cipher during the attack on our town, naturally." Dipper answered, a clear tone of disdain creeping into his voice. "He had me and a friend of mine named Wendy dead to rights while we were trying to free Mabel, long painful story, so in an effort to stall for time in hopes some wandering monster would stomp by and eat him or Wendy might find a rock or something to fight them off with I went on some big rambling tangent about... love or something, I was literally making it up as I went along. Somehow, against all possible odds, he bought it, and then he and his army of convicts just drove off to try and fight Bill or something." Then, dryly, he added "Only during Weirdmageddon, I suppose..."

"What happened to him after that?" Marco asked, genuinely curious.

"Well he did nothing of value during the actual battle against Bill, and then right after that Mabel moved back to Piedmont while I stayed to work as Great Uncle Ford's apprentice." Dipper answered, a touch of scorn still in his tone, though obviously not directed at Marco. "He made a big speech about moving on and bettering himself but kept coming around the Mystery Shack asking for Mabel's phone number or email address. Luckily the rest of the town decided to put him back in the prison Bill had broken him out of, he and his dad went on the run, and I haven't seen them since. And if I'm being honest, if I never see him again it will be too soon. Grunkle Ford considers the fact he never met Gideon at any kind of length to be one of life's small mercies, after hearing Stan and I talk about him. Called him the type of person who has no genuine interest in knowledge and science, simply the power one can derive from it. That was all Gideon cared about, power, and in the end that's all a relationship between him and Mabel would have amounted too, him holding power over her. I think that's why he fought Bill, even if he justified it differently: He knew Mabel wasn't truly his, and couldn't stand being Bill's disposable lackey."

The two sat next to each other in silence after that, the weight of the conversation weighing heavily on both of them. Eventually though, Kelly's voice from above split the silence in the air and made both Marco and Dipper look over their shoulders. "Okay boys, I can't managed to punch this thing down." The woolett warrior admitted between ragged breathing, his knuckles sporting a colorful collection of fresh bruises for her efforts.

Standing to his feet and reaching into his vest pocket, Dipper was quick to hand out instructions, confidence and purposes replacing the remembrance of contempt that had filled his tones before. "Marco, see if you can bandage her up. It's time to break out the big guns... by which I mean our one pistol sized gun."

Speaking of the devil, Prince Tom had conjured an elevator back to the Underworld on the outskirts of Castle Pigeon only to be surprised to see it was already full when bell sounded and the doors opened. "Horns, good to see you again! Guessing the plan has gone south, hasn't it?" Asked Bill Cipher, the one functional eye of his stolen body boggling out at the demon prince as a wide grin split his face.

"It's not... completely ruined yet, but it's gone pretty far off the rails, yes." Tom responded snarkily, irritation spring to life on his face as soon as he'd seen Bill waiting for him in the elevator. "If we're going to salvage any kind of win at all from this, is going to come down to the Pie Folk Surprise going off without a hitch, and that..."

"...That was always a long shot backup plan, am I right?" Bill asked before sauntering out of the elevator to step into the shadow of the castle. "So, I'm guessing it's time for damage control then?"

"The explosives crew and the giant spider are all dead in the dungeons, and the actual blasting equipment itself is still in place and needs to be removed." Tom listed off clinically. "Brian went back to the upper levels but I left him a pair of dimensional scissors, so he should be able to extract himself and maybe one of the assassins, if they survive. Hopefully they don't."

Scribbling Tom's statements down on a notepad he'd seemingly produced from nowhere, Bill did a mockingly melodramatic salute while declaring "Thy will be done oh Prince of Darkness!" and began to saunter off towards the castle gates before stopping abruptly. "Oh, one more thing Horns. Since this plan seems to have a high probability of being a dud, do you think you could put a word in with your dad about investing more in some of our... outside bets?"

Tom stopped just short of the elevator threshold, pausing for a moment before turning around to face Bill with three narrowed eyes. "Project Pressure and Time, specifically?" He asked with the tone of someone irritated with relentless coyness.

"I mean, if you insist..." Bill answered with a chuckle, before abruptly sounding more serious. "It's our best bet for having something that can match the MHC. It wouldn't do for us to get our hands on the wand only for that bunch of killjoys to saunter in, freeze you and Star up in some giant ugly crystals and exile your giant ugly babies to the far edges of time and space while swapping them out with genetically pure orphans. That sure would be messed up, am I right lads?"

Tom blinked a few times as his brain worked to process Bill's motor mouthed diatribe before his face simply became flat and sulky. "Fine, when I let dad know about this I'll suggest that as the most prudent place to reinvest our resources."

"Wonderful! And speaking of reinvesting resources, once I clean things up here I'll swing by The Judecca Resort with the good news and some fresh material to work with... speaking of which, you've got the blasting guys souls in your possession, right?" Cipher asked, his body's one remaining eye glittering with possibility.

"I should, they died while their contract was still active." Tom remarked casually. "If dad opts to go ahead with this I'll have them shipped over there."

Then the elevator door closed and the box sunk into the ground, leaving no trace of its presence save for a rapidly dissolving whiff of brimstone in the air. Bill, with nothing else left to say to anyone, spun around on his heels a few times before marching his stolen, still screaming on the inside body towards the still open gates of Pigeon Castle.

In one of the high towers of the mewman style fortress Star had continued to slam the woman who had been impersonating Marco into the wall until prompted to stop by Pacifica and Pony Head, who could both tell she clearly couldn't answer the questions the princess was screaming at her in that state. As a result, Star stopped, her prisoner of magic floating helplessly in the air halfway to smashing into the wall again, before she was magically hurled across the room instead, crashing into one of the chairs positioned at the desk.

"Raspberry Ribbon Lasso!" Star called out right after, ensuring the Lucitor agent was immobilized in her seat as Pacifica walked up to her. Despite this and the fact that she was still visibly dazed, Bisteeya seemed happy with this change of pace, even managing to crack a smile at the blond human.

"So, you're the good cop then?" The tied up woman asked, smile getting a little noticeably cracked while looking up at Pacifica.

"No, I'm also a girl who wants to know what you've done with her boyfriend." The human responded quickly and coldly as the eyes of both other princesses fell on her, widening as she pulled out a rugged looking knife from the inside of her right boot. Though her expression was as unreadable and unsympathetic as her parents had trained it to be during situations of negotiation, on the inside Pacifica felt her heart pound against her chest and a sick lump build up in her stomach. It took all her self-control to let hand holding the knife tremble uncontrollably. _"Please don't call this bluff please don't call this bluff please don't call this bluff..."_

"Aww, Pazy! You kept the friendship weapon I gave you! When this is all over I'm giving you a big hug!"

"Oh _FRITO THIS!" _The agent abruptly swore with exasperation. "I'm not getting paid enough to go through all this crazy nonsense, I'll tell you everything!"

"Then start talking! What has Tom done to our boyfriends!?" Star demanded, voice effortlessly switching back to harsh and angry.

"By ours they mean her and her's." Pony Head cut in, sounding like she was genuinely trying to make a point. "I got higher standards."

"Nothing, outside of sealing them up in the castle basement with some spooky chains, the shapeshifting potion to turn someone into Marco was something the prince just had in stock, please, you gotta let me go!" Bisteeya begged, eyes darting around as she began to look more desperate. "We all gotta get out of here, don't you get it? The Lucitors aren't willing to accept non-compliance from the Pigeons, and they've got two sets of explosives that for all I know could turn this whole building into a crater!"

The three friends all looked wide and suddenly panicked at this revelation, though Pacifica was the first one to speak, bursting out with "What do you mean _for all you know!?"_ She demanded with disbelief.

"One of them's a pie bomb, regular Pie Folk special for political protest, but I'm not the one who makes those things, I was just paid to deliver it, so I have no idea how big that one is. And Jenny, the other lady who was with me? She's crazy, hates these birds more than anything, she'll blow it!" Bisteeya said hurriedly, not needing to explain the rest.

"THE PIE!" Star shouted in horror while rushing for the door, hoping she and her friends could reach the Pigeon King and Queen in time.

After realizing the three were going to leave her behind however, Bisteeya abruptly yelled out "But there's another bomb in the dungeons! I don't know anything about how that one works but it's probably enough to destroy the castle considering it's the backup plan! We need to get..."

The desperate bargaining of the Lucitor agent was silenced by a beam of magic launching from Star's wand and hitting her in the face with enough force to knock over the chair she was still tied to, but only left a gag wrapped around her mouth. None of the three bothered to check what that had done.

"Star, we gotta move! Ponyhead and I can hopefully catch up with Richard if we hurry, but if you use your magic maybe you reach the basement in DID THEY FUCKING LOCK US IN!?" Pacifica said in rush as Star seemed to be frozen in place, only to explode in anger when the door out refused to give way, all her carefully cultured etiquette forgotten. On the other side of the faded but splendid wood, Brian picked himself up after the sudden angry shout and hammering on the door he'd carefully applied a sealing seal on over, then quickly cut a dimensional portal back to the Underworld.

"Star, hurry up and blast the door down!"

"In case you didn't notice we all about to die B-Fly!"

Despite the insistence of her friends, however, Star Butterfly didn't move an inch. Her eyes seemed borderline vacant and distant despite being as wide a sparkling as they usually were, more even. Her whole body was shock still save for the crushing, grinding grip of her right hand around her wand and the rapid fluttering of her wings under her dress, which would have been possible to hear if two people were shouting in the exact same room. Neither her posture nor expression betrayed a drop of the incredibly intense waves of emotion that were threatening to rip the heart of the head over heels in love princess in two at the moment.

Then, she exploded.

Pacifica and Pony Head had to shield their eyes as they yelled with incoherent disbelief as a blinding yellow flash erased the room, and when they could see clearly again, both stood slack jawed with amazement. The figure standing before them was clearly still Star Butterfly, but with six arms, a completely golden outfit, prominent wings and glittering, swirling eyes that gazed out at the world blankly from atop an expression that could almost be described as smiling vapidly, if her whole figure didn't otherwise radiate cosmic power. Star abruptly raised a one of her six arms, pointed a finger at her two friends, and wordlessly, a flash of light burst from the digit to create a clear cube around the human and the horse head.

Before either of them could say a word, a simple circle showing a brief look into the howling, dark horror of the infinite realm between worlds opened beneath Star's feet, and she simply dropped straight into it.

_The power was everywhere now, and endless golden light that encircled and pressed down on every inch of her being, like that ocean of gelatin she'd taken Marco to swim in once. The mere thought of the boy returned her attention to the only other thing that seemed to exist in this world of infinite gold, a world of endless possibility that could be reshaped however The Butterfly wished it to be, a world where her thoughts became physical law and matter: A single red string, narrow red but flawless ribbon leading through the void. The Butterfly had willingly wrapped itself in this ribbon, woven it so deep around her heart that to sever it would be to induce inoperable damage. It was an unmissable trail that could lead The Butterfly through the infinite chaos of the multiverse with no chance of failure. To know the string was to know herself, and what The Butterfly knows becomes her reality._

Down in the basement, three teens with sore, bandaged knuckles were sitting in a semi-circle, looking at an unfolded board game with boredom. "Alright, it's official, this game sucks." Marco declared with a tone of defeat before rolling onto his back and tossing away the dice he'd been preparing to roll without enthusiasm. "Has Tad found anything else worth doing in there yet?"

In response, Kelly tossed aside the cards she was holding and gave her voluminous hair a shake with both her hands, to no response. With a sigh, she muttered "Doesn't seem like it. Probably sound somewhere new to cozy up in though..."

Setting aside the chess piece he was holding, Dipper took a stark assessment of the wine cellar they were in, then asked "So, you guys want to do some underage drinking?"

If Kelly had been drinking something, she'd have spat it out. "Have I been hanging out with a bunch of eight year olds!?"

A rift in time and space cut itself out of reality before the three teens, causing them to burst to their feat and draw weapons, but Marco gradually lowered himself from his karate pose as the faint golden light radiating from the portal solidified into the shape of Star, winged and with six arms. "Is... is that Star?" Dipper asked with confusion from behind the other human, lowering his energy gun a small distance in uncertainty.

Up close, the Golden Butterfly reminded Marco of his princess going through Mewberty, the same change of body and the same vacant stare, but this time, Star seemed to have a glow about her, a warmth radiating from those otherwise blank eyes that he knew only he could feel. Somehow knowing it was safe, Marco took a step forward and offered her a hand, receiving five wrapped around his arm in return.

Star then used her sixth arm to throw a bolt of magic at Dipper and Kelly before adding it to her grip on Marco and pulling him close off her feat. The magic energy broke into a cube around the two aliens to Mewni, forming an immovable barrier that would let them survive even a castle leveling explosion. Even as the two began to pound on the walls and scream unheard, Star wrapped all six arms around Marco's body before flying for the exit. Smashing the demon chains to dust as a shell of yellow light protected her and Marco's body, Star kept smashing through doors and windows until she and the human were spiraling through the air outside the castle, leaving an interlocking twin trail of red and yellow light behind them.

As they weaved together through the sky around the decrepit Pigeon Castle, Marco stared deep into Star's glowing eyes, seeing a warmth that was reserved just for him inside what everyone else would see as a blank stare. Taking the glittering gold that had replaced her pupils as an invitation, Marco leaned his head forwards and kissed Star on the mouth, her supple lips seeming to fit perfectly against his.

Inside the dreary throne room of Pigeon Castle, a large flock of the birds sat around the opposing forces of the King, Queen and Richard. The air had been filled with coos and caws and the ruffling of feathers and the rattling of sabers as dozens of pigeon generations of pigeon policy were discussed and argued about. The cacophony was abruptly silenced by a power limb equipped royal guard banging the hilt of his spear against the stone floor, signaling a reprieve in the debate.

"...and as we come to a recess in the arguments, I would like to present a formal gift from Princess Butterfly, a recreation of the original diplomatic meal we received from the signer of the treaties of our recognition of cognition, Queen Comet of Mewni." Rich spoke, deliberately using the common tongue as a guard loyal to him stepped forward, bearing the pie he'd received when "Marco" had burst into the meeting room. _"Splendid last minute timing." _He thought to himself.

The gently ruffled hush that had fallen across the flock as the pie carrying guard strode forward erupted into chaos when the wall exploded, Star Butterfly bursting through the gap, all radiance and thunder in her transformed state. Dropping Marco from her six hands to let the boy land on his feet, the princess wove a sphere of magic around the presented pastry as the object seemed to unravel beneath the work of a dozen, meticulous invisible hands: The crust and the tin peeled away to reveal a complicated mesh of wires and blasting equipment buried beneath, which erupted into a flash of flame that shook but could could not crack the golden sphere Star had encased it in.

Marco, standing in place and looking awestruck as Star worked her magic, let out a sigh and absently muttered "She's a special girl, ain't she?" to the nearest pigeon, who was stunned into silence like the rest of the court. As she gently fluttered back to her feet, still glowing and gold, Rich Pigeon was the first of the shocked flock to muster a question. "I... you... what...?"

"NO!"

Everyone in the room turned towards the sound of the shout and an old, moth bitten tapestry ripping to shreds as the wild eyed and disheveled form of Jenny the domestic servant burst from her hiding place, a detonator (that her thumb was uselessly pressing over and over) in her left hand and a crossbow in her right. "Damn you Princess Butterfly, the rightful owners of this castle will be avenged!" She screamed, while leveling the already loaded bolt towards Richard.

"Look out!" Marco yelled, bursting into action and fearlessly leaping in front of the threatened avian, not realizing until mid-sideways jump that he'd thrown himself into danger and expecting a sharp pain to blossom in his lower stomach as the launched wood and metal bolt buried itself in his stomach. Instead, he simply hit the ground in a puff of dust, eyes squeezed shut for a moment before he opened them in response to a faint gold light shinning through the lids, comforting him with an air of safety. When Marco looked out at the world, not only was there no crossbow bolt piercing into his gut, generating a sickly wet, red spot on the surrounding stomach, there wasn't even a crossbow anymore.

The wooden weapon had begun to rot away in Jenny's hands the moment she'd even vaguely pointed it in Marco's direction, quick shafts of yellow light puncturing holes in the woodwork from inside, and from within these holes a ravenous horde of termites emerged. The insects devoured the rotting wood around them as the string frayed and the iron rusted. Jenny dropped the now useless weapon in horror as the bugs climbed up her hands and began to pick at her flesh, all while Star gently floated closer and closer to her, her expression still unchanged but her whole aura seeming to radiate malevolence.

"I... this... you... Your Gloriousness, please! We fight for the same cause here!" Jenny sputtered and begged as she took pensive steps back from the approaching form of her monarch's heir. "This castle is my birthright! Stolen away from me when these monsters drove out my ancestors, just like when Toffee...!"

She was abruptly cut off by one of Star's six arms slugging her in the mouth, right before another one hit the would be assassin in the stomach, and then a punch to the shoulder, and then all eyes in the room watched with mounting concern as all six hands got involved in the beating Star was inflicting at faster and faster speeds, the piston like motion of all six arms becoming a blur as the Golden Butterfly refused to let up on the attacker.

Once the pummeling had gone on long enough for the mood in the room to turn awkward, a half-nervous, half-impressed Marco slid sideways over to Rich Pigeon. "And here's your actual diplomatic pie. Sorry the delivery took so long but it was free to begin with." He said in a hushed voice while removing the dish in question from inside his backpack, which looked a little bit ruffled in the crust but still appeared more enticing than the pie bomb that had been smuggled in.

"Many thanks, Marco." Rich responded in a hushed tone, under the sound of six rapidly firing fists colliding with increasingly mushy flesh still filled the air. After another thirty seconds of awkward silence from everyone in the room aside from the pummeling butterfly Star finally seemed satisfied and slowed to a stop. With the assassin now breathing raggedly and collapsed against the floor, Star descended to her feet as the gold light dimmed and her form returned to normal. A little woozy as soon as her wings and extra arms were gone, Star's two natural arms flailed about briefly as she almost fell on her back, only to land in the reassuring hands of her boyfriend, who had specifically sprinted over to help her.

"Star, that was amazing!" Marco exclaimed as he hugged his bestie from the back and snuggled his face into her shoulder. "You are amazing!"

"Aww, thanks Marco!" Star said in return, her face briefly blushing with an odd gold color that gradually gave way to regular red, right before her face sprung with worry and she said in a rush "Marco, there's another bomb in the basement, we need to..."

"It's okay Star, we found the one in the basement and Dipper disarmed it." Marco said reassuringly, instantly causing Star to relax as the two nuzzled close to each other, the tension fading away between them. "I really am impressed though, you handled that bomb like an expert!"

"Well, I just kept in mind all those _Macky Hand _movies we watched together, and well, it came naturally..."

The two looked into each other's faces and smiled, oblivious to the increasingly agitated bunch of birds around them. Luckily, Rich had them covered.

"My fellow flockmates!" He cried to the room, making his announcement in the Mewman tongue to ensure the speaker could not be mistaken for anyone else. "Let us feast and think of yesteryear, where a Monarch of Mewni traded fairly and sympathetically with us, in celebration of a future where all beings may enjoy such friendships! Long live Princess Star, the _truegg _of Queen Comet!"

A celebratory ruckus came over the flock, that only intensified as they descended upon the deep fried worm pie, plucking perfectly baked and caramelized invertebrates from within the baked confection as Star and Marco lost each other in the eyes of a loved one.

* * *

"Got any threes?"

"Go Fish... OUCH! Kelly, what was that for!?"

"You told me to go fish, so I went fish!"

"No, you punched me in the shoulder!"

"And you go fishing by punching the ocean, duh!"

"...Oh, wait, I'm supposed to punch the card deck aren't I?"

"Sure you guys don't want to try another round of poker?"

"Not until you keep your hands outside of the hair based pocket dimension Tad."

Down in the wine cellar, still trapped in the protective shell Star had created with her magic around them in case a bomb did detonate, Dipper had been teaching Kelly and Tad some human card games to pass the time once he confirmed the barrier couldn't be broken with anything they had in their possession, even after Tad took a trawl through Kelly's hair. Further conversation was interrupted however, when the door at the top of the stairs abruptly slammed open, no trace remaining of the demon chains when the three in the protective shell snapped their gaze to the source of the noise, and one of them felt their blood run cold.

"Pine Tree! Long time no see!"

Taking jaunty but slow and theatrical steps down the stairs to the cellar was Bill Cipher, still puppeting the demon body with three carved out eyes, his one remaining orb glittering with a harsh yellow light. Dipper remained silent, his left hand clenching into a fist as the dream binding body thief stepped closer and closer and his right one resting inside his pocket atop his energy weapon, eyes locked on to the jerky motion of the cellar intruder. Bill moved his puppet with a wide, rictus grin on his face and a lingering clumsiness to his step, as if he might lose his footing and tumble down the long flight of stairs at any moment. Never the less, Bill stepped steady until he was on the cellar floor and standing at the barrier Star had created, mockingly tapping the clear surface like a zoo exhibit.

Dipper stood tall, glaring back at the demon on the other side as Bill simply gawked and gurned at him. The dark shadows the pooled behind Bill in the dimly let basement began to bubble and squirm, a sickly yellow light emerging from the liquid dark until the goldbricked form of Bill's Holy Diver was materialized, a muscular incorporeal body topped by the rictus grin of a defaced pharaoh's death mask.

In a flash, it's fist slammed against the magic barrier Star had assembled around them, the shockwave and loud noise produced by the impact causing both Dipper and Kelly to fall off their feet. Dipper felt his throat catch as he watched in stunned horror as the spirit punched at the clear box they were in over and over again, fists striking lightning fast on the same spot. The boy's mind flashed back to Bill's initial, brute force attempt to destroy the battle robot Mystery Shack, but this time he felt far closer to the danger than that instance, though the situations weren't that different. Something about the fact that if Bill did successfully punch down the only barrier keeping Dipper physically safe, the Pines twin knew he'd see it crumble and break before his very eyes left Dipper frozen in fear, quite convinced that any given moment could be his last.

Then, just as abruptly as it started, the battering stopped.

"Hehehe... AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The quivering lip of Bill's stolen body abruptly burst into cruel laughter as he drank in delight at Dipper's terrified expression as the two teens in the cube climbed back to their feet, Kelly drawing her sword and looking ready to fight while Dipper just glared at Bill, feeling the old, deep wounds under his skin grow fresh and aggravated by the dream demon's torments. "Quite a secure little shell you've got to hide in, eh Pine Tree? Well, I suppose I could crack it eventually... unfortunately for me, I'm on the job, so I guess I'll let you off with a little scare this time..."

Before Bill could continue, the faint edge of a conversation trailed down into the cellar through the still open door at the top of the stairs. "...see what they were planning down here."

Dipper and Kelly's expressions sank as they recognized the speaker while Bill broke out into a painful looking grin. "Well, that's my cue!" He announced cheerily before sauntering out of sight deeper into the dungeon, just in time for Marco to miss sight of him as he and a pair of pigeon guards on power limbs came down the stairs and into the cellar.

Marco's face did break into genuine relief when he saw his two friends alive and well, initially seeming oblivious to their obvious mutual distress. "Kelly, Dipper, you guys are okay! Look, don't worry about the box, Star just put you in it so you'd be safe if the castle blew up, she can totally bust you out of it just like she did for Pacifica and Pony Head, she's just straightening some final things out with the Pigeons."

Despite the threat of Bill looming literally behind him, Dipper's eyes did widen with genuine relief at Marco's introduction and his confirmation that Pacifica was safe. His first spoken response remained about the matter at hand. "Marco, Bill is here. He's gone down further into the dungeon but will not be able to arm the bomb again, I took out several vital components off it that are still on me, in here." He explained hurriedly. "We'll need Star to actually take him down."

"What if he's not here to resume the plot, but dispose of the evidence?" Marco answered quickly, not spending any more time on pleasantries when he saw how serious Dipper was being. "We need to gather as much evidence against the Lucitors as possible. Star will be down as soon as possible, but I'm not letting this get away!" He explained before stepping away from the block, gesturing for the guards to follow him.

"Marco, slow down for a minute, this Bill guy is dangerous!" Kelly spoke up, walking over to the over side of the cube as the human boy outside it passed by, swinging her blade against the surface a few times. It was odd to hear her of all people try and dissuade him from entering a fight, causing Marco to slow briefly, but his confidence was running too high to slow down now. "I'll be fine Kelly. Star will be right behind me soon enough."

Further warnings went unheeded (or simply not understood in the case of the two guards) as Marco descended into the depths of the dungeon, retracing his earlier steps back to the demolition zone. The three trailed deeper into the dungeon, the boy in red attempting to keep the dark away by plucking a torch from the wall and carrying it with him proudly. Despite having run this whole route earlier that day, the shadows of the place still felt deep and shifting. "Keep your eyes open for this Bill character." He muttered to his escort, but inwardly wondered if they could even understand him, given the muted disinterest he could feel from the two... perhaps. _"It is pretty difficult to tell what a pigeon is thinking..." _The boy thought to himself.

However, even the glassy eyed, power limb wearing pigeons perked up with perceptible curiosity when Marco finally lead them to the blasting equipment, seemingly untouched and clean as new since he'd seen Dipper eliminate the ones minding it and disable the device. "Right, if there's any remaining doubts the Lucitors are bad news..." he said aloud while confidently tapping the top of the device, making a statement for the guards that couldn't really understand him, only to suddenly realize something about the room. It looked clean, untouched... cleaner than it had been when he'd actually found it. "Where'd the goons go!?" Marco exclaimed while double taking around the room. Scorched feathers and small droplets of blood remained on the stone floor, but the physical corpses seemed to have vanished.

The human was ripped from his frantic checking around by the sound of a pigeon cooing in distress, and when he wrenched his attention back to his guards Marco realized he only had one of them now, the remaining one swiveling around and hefting his pike weapon around, making a rapid series of clicking noises with his beak. The sound and the motion fell silent however, when something rolled out of a dark hallway and gently clanked against the remaining guard's booster leg.

Marco and the Pigeon practically balked when they looked down and saw it was a powered limb arm, rolling free across the floor with a few damp feathers stuck to it.

As soon as the human looked up to lock eyes with his only surviving guard, one of the thousands of bricks making up the dungeon floors and ceilings hurled through the air, smashing the small feathery target in the middle of a four piece of powered mechanical limbs. The pigeon guard burst on impact and then leaked down the wall when the brick smashed into the across the room, causing Marco to take a few steps back in shock while raising his arms up in a defensive posture... only for Holy Diver to materialize from the shadows behind the teenager from Earth and immobilize him from behind with a crushing bear hug, generating a startled yell, a battle cry and a crushing wheeze from the karate warrior as Bill's demonic puppet emerged from the shadows.

"Ah, Beauty Mark, at last we meet!" Bill rattled off, voice as used car salesman cheery as ever. In absence of a hat, the possessing demon doffed one of his three eye-patches at Marco, causing the human boy to visibly wince at the decay lurking beneath and the fly that weakly buzzed into the dungeon air as soon as it had the opportunity to. "Name's Bill Cipher, cosmic destroyer, demon of nightmares, body possessor, party planner and stealer of souls! I trust you know me by my reputation?"

Marco didn't bother answering Bill at all, instead putting all his strength and focus into breaking free from Holy Diver's crushing grip, arms locked down tight and legs only able to limply kick. "Hey, no need to panic here big guy, I don't plan on killing you!" Bill rattled off, his words entering Marco's skull but sitting ignored, as the karate fighter tried to block them out to center his inner focus and find the strength to escape. "After all, as long as you're alive, One-Of-Hearts is just so much easier to manipulate and move around the board. If you died, she'd become... unpredictable."

This indirect threat made at Star was not enough to cause Marco to freeze in place, abandoning his struggle in a flash of fearful paralysis. On the contrary, the thought of Star being in danger simply ignited a fire in Marco that made him struggle and fight even harder, causing the previously stoic and unmovable Holy Diver to have to shift and squeeze a little to keep him contained.

No, the thing that made Marco freeze up for a brief moment before fighting harder than ever was the faint torchlight glittering off a short metal blade coming into view in front of him.

"However, leaving you alive but making you an invalid on the other hand..." Bill said with a grin as he steadied a short but sufficiently sharp dagger in his right hand. "Well, I think she'll be easier than ever to manipulate if she's got the round the clock care for her eyeless boyfriend weighing on her mind! Plus, I get to do THIS!"

The knife raised in the air, the right arm gripping it rising above the mutilated face as Bill savored the sight of Marco's blank with fear eyes following the blade as it climbed into position with agonizing slowness, the dream demon relishing the idea that the last sight the human would ever see would be the horrifying sight of the dagger getting closer and closer to his orbs of vision, until that was all he could see. "Drink it in fleshbag." Bill mocked with obvious, sadistic delight. "After enough time in darkness even the appearance of your precious princess will fade from memory, and the sight of this lovely lass carving your eyes out will be the only sight you can remember!"

The blade flashed forward, glistening in the dim torch light as Marco knew he'd only have one chance. His body went stiff in Holy Diver's arms as Bill grinned maliciously, revealing in what he thought was fear. Then, the boy's body snapped like a whip, his legs jumping up from the floor, abs curling against the incredible pressure of the spirit arms holding him in place, in order to deliver a sharp, rising kick to the elbow joint of the demon body's right arm. A sickening crunch filled the room as Marco's eyes slammed shut out of the steady surge of primal panic finally boiling over inside him and he thought the noise was his ribs being crushed as Bill's strange spirit clamped down on him in response to the counterattack. However, when the pain faded instead of becoming white hot and a pained scream assailed his ears, Marco cautiously opened his eyes.

The right arm carrying the dagger was in a state of sickly inversion, the elbow joint having cracked and snapped inwards under the force of Marco's kick, leaving a tangled, limp hanging limb that was agonizing just to look at, were it not for something worse catching the human's sight as he realized he'd timed his kick perfectly.

The arm mangling impact caused the downward swing of the dagger to catch at just the right moment and redirect itself into the demon's one remaining eye.

Marco felt vomit building up in his throat at just the brief sight of the orb popping and struggled to escape Holy Diver's grasp, actually being surprised when he fell to the floor but grateful for it anyways. The sound of his stomach evacuating managed to briefly drown out the noise of Bill screaming and flailing around in frustration, the demon's warped love of pain completely evaporating in the face of his anger at not getting to kill a human and at the new useless, dying state of his stolen body. After stomping around blindly for a few moments, Bill walked straight into a wall, causing him to fall to the floor in a stupor. Though he twitched a little bit, the demon did not get back up.

Rolling to the side to avoid falling into the puddle of his own fresh vomit, Marco could faintly see the muscular spirit that had been holding him seemed to slowly melt into the floor, an oddly passive stance to their body. He breathed in and out deeply, terror still coursing through his veins even as he heard the sound of familiar feet echoing through the underground dungeon, getting steadily closer to his location.

"MARCO!"

Star let out a shout of concern as soon as she saw him laying against the ground, running at full speed to pick the human boy off the floor and hold him tight against her body. The rest of the search party was rushing in behind her, but each stopped at the sight of something: For Kelly it was also the boy on the floor, but the Pigeon Guards had their attention drawn to the explosive equipment, while the two standing humans locked on to the sight of Bill's lifeless puppet.

Without a moment of hesitation, Dipper retrieved a brass material pistol frame that was wire studded and ended with what seemed to be a focusing lens from inside his jacket, then flipped open the bottom of the typing pad mounted on the side and slammed in a small block he'd been keeping under his hat. Quickly pointing the device at the now still demon's head, Dipper pulled the trigger and then felt his head slump towards the ground and shoulders shag when the results came back negative. "Too late, he's already left this body." The apprentice lamented.

"Do you... always, carry around something like that?" Marco asked tentatively, having seen the whole thing over Star's shoulder. Even though his girlfriend could crush his ribs just as assuredly as the strange spirit projection could have were she to act recklessly, he found her grip to be endlessly warm and comforting.

"It's the most sure fire way to eliminate Bill once he's inside a host." Dipper explained quickly while removing the extra block from the improved model memory gun. In addition to boosting the power of the mind weapon's next burst, the drive was a programming shortcut that set the memory machine to destroy anything related to Bill Cipher, saving what could be precious time calibrating it if Bill were encountered in a host body.

"Is that what you meant when you said he had crazy brain powers?" Star asked while ending the hug between her and Marco, to no small reluctance.

"Among other things." Pacifica said with some reservation. "Hopefully, it will be awhile before he... well..." she lingered, words trailing off as she looked over at Dipper, who was staring down at the fresh demon corpse with an inscrutable look on his face, though one hand on his right side was clenched into a fist.

"Star, keep the body as evidence if it will help you convince the other kingdoms to side against the Lucitors. Pacifica and I need to go back to Earth and use the interdimensional scanner before Bill's trail goes cold." The apprentice scientist explained curtly. Then, he looked at the blond human and his expression softened. "I just need to check a few things before we go, stuff Great Uncle Ford will want to know. Do you need to do anything?"

With a small but encouraging smile, Pacifica put a hand on Dipper's shoulder. "No, I should be fine, we'll be back on Mewni soon enough anyways." Then, she glanced over at her fellow blond and playfully asked "Don't suck our room into a void while we're gone."

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Star said with a jokey, dismissive smile and wave of the hand. "I'll probably be bogged down explaining every little detail of this mission to my mom until you guys get back anyways!"

* * *

Hours had passed since the teens had split into two duos, Star and Marco quickly going back to work finalizing things with the Pigeons and arranging for the evidence to be properly secured and then traveling back to the Butterfly Castle to review the situation with Queen Moon. While the monarch seemed pleased or at least not disappointed with the outcome of events, she opted to save a full discussion of things until after she could speak with the other relevant peoples herself... and after the two growing teens had a good night's rest, seeing as it was rather late in the evening by the time they got back and both looked quite tired.

Despite the fatigue he could feel in his bones however, Marco did not sleep easy that evening. Curled up around his pillow beneath the dream interceptor the Pines family had provided inside his Star-adjacent personal quarters, the boy from earth fluttered in and out of sleep, finding brief stretches of unconsciousness before awakening with a startle, as if the very blackness of his closed eyes was proving unsettling.

Midway through his struggle with such a bout of restlessness, Marco stared up at the ceiling with open but tired eyes, not really seeing the patterns on the ceiling as his mind tried to work through the events of the day. Despite the incredible harm Bill had posed to his physical well-being today, the thought of wandering the world sightless forever had to share his brain space with something else the demon had said, that tormented Marco's mind just as much. He's was deeply unsettled by the implications Bill had made about his connection to...

"...Star!?"

Marco's voice croaked out the familiar name as his focus returned to reality when a portal cut itself into existence over his bed, the familiar form of the princess of mewni bathed in an almost extinguished golden light. Her eyes were closed now as she hovered above the shocked boy, who was struck silent at the sight. The extra features granted by the Golden Butterfly were dissolving into thin air, revealing her simple blue pajamas to be resting beneath the ornate gold dress, and Marco's first active response to this appearance came about when he realized _"That includes her wings!"_

_THUMP_

The now two armed, flightless Star Butterfly fell from the portal, knocking the wind out of Marco and causing the bed to creak as she landed on top of both of them. Both teens were wide awake now, staring at each other wide mutually wide eyed expression illuminated by the glowing of Star's hearts.

Marco's expression betrayed more open confusion and concern about how the situation they were in and how they had gotten into it, even though he still had a warm blush plastered across it. Star also had some concern dwelling in her wide, sparkling eyes, but her expression was mostly one of positive wonder, albeit with a twinge of confusion to it and an inflated pair of cheeks. Despite this mix of volatile feelings in both their chests, neither moved or broke the silence until Star's throat quivered, and a moment later she let out a very un-princess like belch that spat a wet piece of receipt paper into Marco's face.

The tense mood between the two dissolved in an instant, both feeling an outpouring of natural and unconditional trust towards the other. After both of them quivered with short laughter, they each independently decided to wrap their arms around each other, even as Marco whispered "...Star, we talked about this on earth, we can't be in the same bed, it'd send the wrong message." with very little certainty to his words.

"Even now?" The princess said teasingly, snuggling her head close to his chest and practically purring with satisfaction at the sound and feeling of the boy's heartbeat.

"...Especially now, since it'd send the right message." Marco remarked dryly, but his tone told Star that he'd already given up and wasn't at all sore about it. "Just, you'll need to get back to your own room in the morning so your mom and dad don't find out."

"Mmm... so you think this is your room now? I could agree with that." Star answered a little hazily, a placid smile on her face as sleep's hold on her got stronger and stronger. Deciding to let whatever point she was trying to get across rest until morning, Marco closed his eyes as the warm body curled up against him, better than any blanket.

His last conscious thoughts, as fragmented as they might have been, were about how good Star's petite mewberty wings felt between his fingers, even through the material of her pajamas. "Good night, my princess." Marco whispered, still feeling like he was experiencing every inch of Star's peacefully resting face even as his eyes drew shut against the sight, to rest undisturbed until morning, his nightmares abated.

* * *

In the depths of the Underworld, there is one place that is naturally free of the oppressive heat generated by the realm's endless hellfires, the flame by which the Lucitor Kingdom has forged their power and wealth. Well off the beaten path their sits a hole in the ground, and at the bottom of that hole in the ground is a palace of ice, but devoid of snow or other marks of natural winter. Simply ice, that seems to grow from the realm's brimstone like another form of rock. Legend calls this the result of a great battle, where Asmodeus hurled a rival with a cold heart to his death upon the jagged rocks at the bottom. When this rival demon, whose name was long erased from history, was pierced and broken upon the rocks it is said that his ice cold blood drenched the walls of the place, leaving it an eternal realm of frost. Such tales are usually concluded by suggesting that perhaps this nameless rival's heart of ice still beats to this day, letting out a frigid pump once a century as it sits impaled on the lowest stone of the pit, buried beneath the glaciers...

Conventional thought however is that this is just a myth created to try and explain a natural phenomenon, as no such remains were found when the underglaciers of this place were excavated to construct the more traditional brimstone and blackrock catacombs that Bisteeya awoke with a fright in. Though the air was slightly, uncomfortably chilly instead of mildly warm the architecture was undoubtedly demonic, in sharp contrast to the pleasing smooth edges, potted plants and ice sculptures that dominated the upper, public levels of the resort that had been constructed in this place.

Trying to sit up and think back to where she was, the Pie Folk mercenary quickly realized she couldn't rise off her back, and seemed to be strapped to some kind of gently creaking gurney that was steadily moving down the borderline identical hallways. "Ugh... where am I? What... what's going on!?" She asked, initially confused and somewhat groggy but rapidly gaining clarity and terror the longer she was awake.

"Have no fear." Came a soft, feminine but unnervingly placid voice, causing Bisteeya to look down her body and finally see who was pushing the gurney by the bar just past her restrained feet. The figure was average height by the standards of Mewmans, thin and delicate despite showing no signs of struggle with pushing the well muscled mercenary about. Her gaze was unnervingly placid, looking straight ahead past her long, pointy nose without even slightly angling towards the person she was speaking to. Her skin was an odd shade of pale, perfectly uniform blue and her slightly darker blue hair sat fairly close to her head but curved backwards and up in two small pseudo-wings on symmetrical sides of her head. In a strangely uncanny way, her hair did actually seem to move or ruffle at all, even when a somewhat humid puff of air traveled through the tunnel air, and neither did her outfit, a close cut, extremely dark blue one piece with a ruffed skirt added to the waist. "You are on the cusp of achieving perfection."

Now struggling against the straps binding her to the gurney, Bisteeya began to shake and jolt but could not break the ties or unnerve the one pushing her, the eerie figure taking the merc's struggles in stride and never missing a step. "Let me go, this isn't what I signed up for!" Bisteeya yelled, droplets of sweat beginning to form on her forehead.

"Your soul became the legal property of House Lucitor as per your contract with them, and afterwards, House Lucitor released custody of your immortal soul and physical body to the care of The Judecca Health and Immortality Resort." The strange figure explained as if she'd been asked about the weather. "Be at peace. You will soon ascend to a more pure level of existence."

"LET ME GO!" Bisteeya shouted while now fully thrashing around, briefly wondering what she'd overlooked in her contract that let her employer do this but quickly decided it didn't matter, she just had to escape. Barely noticing the sweat she was working up fighting against the restraints as the gurney traveled ceaselessly through the depths, Bisteeya's body finally froze and ceased to fight when a craning of the neck gave her a brief look at what lay in front of her, causing her blood to run cold even as she realized how hot the air had suddenly become.

The winding catacombs had finally come to an end in a larger, multi-leveled room dominated by a massive, wrought iron furnace. The material used to construct it was clearly demonic in nature but instead of being carved into the shape of a screaming gargoyle head with flames burning behind rows of jagged teeth, the thing was a simple, efficient cube that reached the room's higher ceiling. Besides the barred and dead-bolted ground level hatch on the thing, by craning her neck at an uncomfortable angle Bisteeya could see the smoke exhaust rising from the top of the thing, and chutes near the middle on each side that were had catwalks built out to them from the walls of the room.

The chute on the left side of the furnace was being fed coal by a small, red imp, one of the Underworld's many native inhabitants who was absentmindedly dropping the dark stones out of a crate and into the machine with a shovel. On the other side, two mewmans in green jumpsuits, round helmets and face masks were feeding a larger but otherwise identical chute. Bisteeya hadn't seem him go in, but she instantly the leather boots on the feet of the humanoid who'd been fed in head first: The bird-man mercenary who'd been hired to plant the bomb on her last job had been showing them off when he'd hit on her and Jenny during the planning phase. She'd never know for sure, but the Pie Folk had a feeling the monster veteran who'd also gone on the mission had already been fed to the machine.

"What the mince is this?" she asked herself, with breathless horror.

"This is the cremation forge." The gurney-pusher answered in a helpful tone as she finally stopped pushing the gurney, walking up to open the ground level hatch. "Here your organic form will be purified, vital chemicals salvaged from the weakness of flesh to form a more perfect organism. As you are alive for this process, you have a vital and important role to play in it! Your life force will become the energy bonds that connect the detritus molecules together into the organized crystal lattice that will compose a new, superior life form." As the metal hatch swung open, the room felt hotter than ever, as Bisteeya's attendant walked back to the handle of the gurney and resumed pushing it forward, sounding like a helpful, friendly information dispenser the entire time.

Her expression remained similarly placid and unresponsive, even though the screaming could still be faintly heard once the hatch was sealed shut again.


End file.
